by Camryn Eyde
Now, sitting in a dark room, staring at flames that should be familiar and comforting, she had never felt more isolated. More hollow.
With a sigh, she urged herself to move further into the cottage than the living room. So full of images of Justine and their heart-wrenching goodbye, she unpacked in a daze. How was it possible that after a two-week affair, she felt so lost without Justine? She shook her head. It didn’t make any sense to her.
Fingering the slip of paper in her pocket, she snatched up her car keys and headed to the main street. Time to fill the fridge and find a pay phone. Talking to Justine would go a long way to easing her mind.
Forced to leave a message, Aimee returned to the townhouse and moved through the motions. She prepared dinner, slept, and drove into the university at eight Monday morning. A sprawling university situated on the hilly outskirts of Armidale and filled with promise of higher learning, Aimee organised a parking permit and found her lecture room. For the first week, she listened intently, appreciated the welcome from professors she’d had many discussing with on the phone, and went home each evening feeling hollow and restless…and sore. Knitting ribs and the ache in her left side kept Aimee’s nights restless.
***
A week later, and four days of classes behind her, Aimee finished her morning coffee and sighed. Friday. She had no classes on Friday, though the professor of the agricultural course was trying to encourage her to come along on a field trip for the undergrad students. She was tempted. The house had become a symbol of loneliness and it was here she felt most uncomfortable.
I should have brought Mitsy with me.
Aimee sighed again and fingered the battered slip of paper she constantly kept in her pocket. Staring down at Justine’s looping numbers and the words listing her address, Aimee sighed. Not being able to reach Justine all week had left her nervous and wondering if she’d dreamt the week they had spent together at the station. She’d left messages, but with no way of contacting Aimee, Aimee had to assume Justine received them and was feeling just as frustrated about the lack of communication. Now, with the prospect of three days alone with little to do, she felt anxious. Life on the station was constant and hectic. There was never an idle moment. Urban life was full of pace and stretches of boredom.
“Stuff this,” Aimee said, shoving back her chair. Grabbing a jacket, ensuring the fire was out and tucking her wallet into her pocket, she left the cottage and Armidale behind her in favour of the big smoke.
A decision that had her white knuckling the steering wheel five and a half hours later as she drove from the quiet township of Armidale into the throng of Sydney.
“What the hell is wrong with you people!” she screamed at her windshield. City drivers are bloody insane. “Oh, God. Oh, God,” she said as she realised she had to change lanes again. Earning herself a beep of a horn, she swore to herself and finally took an exit off the highway. Pulling over at her first opportunity, she huffed out a breath and let her head fall back against the headrest. “Chaos. Pure bloody crazy chaos.”
After letting her heart rate drop, she looked at her watch. One o’clock. Justine surely would still be at work. “Damn.”
Stomach grumbling, Aimee looked around for a source of food. Not far up the road was a massive tower declaring the inclusion of a number of chain stores in what she presumed was a shopping mall. Grimacing, she bit the bullet, merged back into crazy traffic and then nearly sideswiped a tiny car with her bull-barred Landcruiser as she attempted to fit into a teeny parking spot.
“Oops,” she muttered as her door hit the tiny car when she opened it. Wiping at the little car, she couldn’t see any lingering damage and made her way into the shopping centre.
The shopping centre overflowed with people, most of whom were on their phones and paying very little attention to what was going on around them. Hitting a few because of their erratic walking paths, Aimee stuck with the outer wall and moved towards the sign pointing to a food court.
It was manic.
Business suits and skirts hurried about with coffee and some rice contraption wrapped in a dark green layer. Finding them in a window a few moments later, she realised they were sushi rolls. She grimaced.
Spotting a carvery store, she ordered a roast beef meal and a fizzy drink.
Stomach sated, she figured her next step would be finding a mobile phone.
“Hi there, can I help you today?”
“Hi. Yeah, I need a phone.”
“Wonderful. Are you currently using our service?”
Aimee shook her head. “No.”
“That’s not a problem. We can transfer your number across automatically.”
“I don’t have a number to transfer.”
The woman with a very tight ponytail stared at her for a heartbeat. “You don’t have a mobile service?”
Aimee shrugged. “Nope.”
The city woman blinked for a moment. “Oh…okay. Well, let me show you some of the phones and plans we have.”
“Great.”
An hour later, Aimee had a headache. The woman banged on about data plans, call plans, SMS plans, and all the available smartphones and their monthly payment options. Once she was done with phones, she rambled on about broadband plans in the home, tablet and mobile broadband options and somewhere after the first five minutes, Aimee had zoned out with absolutely no idea what the woman was talking about.
“So, which one do you think will suit you?”
“Ah…I just want to be able to ring my girlfriend.”
The woman raked her eyes over Aimee’s jeans, flannel shirt and work boots before giving her a smile. “Do you know what service company she’s with?”
Aimee shook her head.
“If she’s with us, you can get an added one hundred free call minutes.”
“Ah…that’s good, but…” Aimee gnawed at her lip. “I might come back later if that’s okay? I need to think about it all for a bit.”
“Of course.” The woman then gave her a bag with an absurd amount of pamphlets and sent her on her way.
Checking her watch and assuming she had hours to spend before she’d be able to see Justine, Aimee whiled away the remainder of the afternoon wandering the mall. Slowly becoming accustomed to the bustle of the place, she ate a donut and sipped at her coffee, and watched the city people rush past, finding their antics amusing.
They reminded her of chaotic ants. Heads down, they pushed past one another and stopped and started in random jams of bodies. Aimee chuckled as an elderly man on an electric cart started mowing down the pedestrians. Madness.
Deciding she’d had enough, Aimee picked up her bag of books purchased at the bookstore and her bag of pamphlets and headed for the exit. Fifteen minutes later, after searching for her four-wheel drive, she aimed for Justine’s place, intending to stalk the driveway until Justine returned from work.
Double-checking the address, Aimee stared at the house. It was a two-level, brick home with a steep tiled roof that looked like it’d be at home in Switzerland. The short picket fence guarded an immaculately landscaped garden complete with water fountain. It looked like something from a TV show. Cocking her head, Aimee noticed two cars in the driveway. One a late model Toyota Prado and the other a fancy sports car. Having no idea if Justine owned either, Aimee climbed from her dusty vehicle, patted down her jeans to remove any excess dust, and decided to find out if she was home. In this suburb, surrounded by rather stately homes, she felt every bit the simple farm girl Justine once accused her of being. Head down, she entered the property and knocked on the door with her breath held fast.
“Aaron! We’re leaving in five, so get your stuff together. Now!” Aimee heard Justine’s voice call out from inside. The doorknob turned and the beige wood swung inwards. “Oh!” Justine said on a gasp. “Aimee?”
Aimee gave a dainty finger wave, instantly feeling foolish and like she’d imposed on Justine. “Hi.”
Justine stared at her a blinked for a while. “You’re he
re.”
Scuffing her boots on the tiled step, Aimee looked down at them. “Yeah, sorry, I, uh…didn’t mean to intrude.”
“Intrude? No.” Justine reached out and took her hands. “I was about to drop Aaron off and head to Armidale.”
“What?” Aimee’s eyes snapped up.
“I was coming up to surprise you.”
“Really?”
Justine nodded. “Yes. Really.”
They grinned at each other for a few heartbeats before Justine breathed out, “I’ve missed you.”
Missing this woman intensely the past week, Aimee flew forward and smashed her lips against Justine’s. Meeting her with a grunt, Justine spun them and pushed Aimee against the doorframe as she gave back as good as she was given.
Aimee grunted in pain.
“Oh! Sorry,” Justine said, pulling away quickly and looking down at Aimee’s side. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Aimee said, rubbing her ribs. “It’s healing.” Leaning in with less physical impact, Aimee kissed the breath from Justine’s lungs.
“Mum, I—gross.”
The women pulled apart slowly with a smile on their faces. “Have you got your bag?” Justine asked Aaron without taking her eyes off of Aimee.
“Uh, yeah. Umm…Aimee?”
Aimee cleared her throat and looked at the boy stuck halfway down the stairs. “Hi, mate.”
“Mum?”
Justine nodded. “Yes, I know.” Smiling back at Aimee. “I was beaten to the punch.”
“Sorry,” Aimee said, feeling the beginnings of a blush.
“Don’t be,” Justine assured Aimee. “However, I still need to get Aaron to his grandparents. Come for a drive?”
“Sure.”
Justine smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.
“Geez, Mum. Save it for when you’re alone,” Aaron complained, sounding extremely embarrassed.
Justine chuckled in response. “Put your bags in the boot. Aimee, this way.” Justine led them to the BMW and they soon headed west. Clutching at the seat because of Justine’s city driving style, Aimee forced herself to relax.
“So, are you two like a couple now?” Aaron asked as the traffic thinned out.
The two women glanced at each other. Aimee floundered, wanting to say yes, but unsure of the protocol for dealing with the children of potential girlfriends. Justine smiled at her warmly and reached across for her hand.
“Yes, honey, we are.”
Something warm burst in Aimee’s chest.
“Okay,” Aaron said matter-of-factly. “Is Aimee moving in? No! Wait! Mum! Can we live on the station?”
Both women tensed.
“We haven’t really talked about that yet, honey. It’s still pretty early for those kinds of conversations.”
“Oh…right…but if it does come up, I’m all in for the country.”
“Thanks, sweetheart,” Justine said, a smile on her face.
In amicable silence, forty minutes passed and Justine soon pulled into the driveway of a cottage set in one of the outlying communities of north-west Sydney.
“Who lives here?” Aimee asked after Aaron bolted from the car.
“His paternal grandparents,” Justine said, popping the boot and lifting it. “They wanted to be a part of his life from the get-go, and are really quite wonderful.” Shutting the boot lid, she said, “This is where we keep our horses. They’ve got two acres out the back and we’re up here most weekends. Aaron, however, comes out on his own once a month. Ed and Penny usually come and get him, but because I was planning to surprise you, well…” Justine shrugged.
Aimee smiled and placed a kiss on her lips.
“Oh…what’s this then?” a female voice said.
Aimee blushed and gave Justine a significant amount of personal space. Damn it, she really needed to hold back her urges.
Justine laughed softly to herself. “Penny, this is my girlfriend, Aimee.”
“Girlfriend?” Penny raised her thin, grey eyebrows and gave Aimee the once over. “Country girl?” she asked.
Justine looked at Aimee to answer. Clearing her throat, she said, “Uh, yeah. I’m from a property out west.”
“Oh, Yarrabee Station, right?”
Aimee blinked. How did she know that?
“Yes,” Justine said.
“Dawn said something was going on out there. Now I know what.” She gave them both a wink and took Aaron’s pillow from Justine’s hands. “Come on, girls. Say bye to the boy so you can go have a weekend to yourselves.”
“She’s friends with your mum?” Aimee whispered.
“Well, yes. They were friends before Aaron’s father and I were ever together.”
“Oh…right.” Aimee looked around furtively. “And Aaron’s father…?”
“Lives overseas. An engineer. He’s in Australia maybe once a year at most.”
“Do they, uh, get along?”
Justine bounced her head. “We all do.” Stopping Aimee with a hand on her forearm, she said, “We were teenagers when we had Aaron. Our relationship was never strong and was never going to last. We knew that from the start. We’re still friends, but that shipped sailed a week or so before we found I was pregnant.”
Aimee nodded her reply.
“Come on, Aaron’s probably with Friar Tuck.”
“Huh?”
“His horse.”
Guiding Aimee to the back of the house, Justine took her to the small stable and shed. There, Aaron was feeding his brown and white horse sugar cubes, and a magnificent black horse was pushing his nose against his shoulder looking for attention.
“He’s beautiful,” Aimee said in wonder at the thoroughbred nuzzling for treats.
“That’s Dreamer. I’ve had him for ten years.” Justine grabbed some sugar from a container on a bench and walked to her magnificent beast. “Hey my boy, how are you?” Dreamer snuffled and sniffed at her outstretched hand. “I’ve missed you,” she said, rubbing his nose affectionately.
“You rode him in the Games?” Aimee asked, putting a reverent hand on the horse’s neck.
“I did. We did well, didn’t we Dreamer?” Justine kissed him on the nose.
Aimee inspected the animal. “He’s a stallion.”
Justine nodded.
“A stud?”
Shrugging, Justine said, “I’ve never bred him, but he’d make beautiful foals.”
Aimee nodded, thinking of the disaster it had been to try and get the stud horse Joey had hired to cover the young mares at the station. Dreamer would be perfect for the job.
Satisfied with his treats, Dreamer trotted back out into the paddock he came from and Justine said her goodbyes to her son. “See you Sunday,” she said.
“Okay. Bye. Bye, Aimee,” Aaron said with a wave.
“See ya, mate.”
Alone with Justine at last, the two women came together with a crack the moment they finished the long drive, picked up drinks and tea, and shut Justine’s front door.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Justine said as Aimee lathered her neck with affection.
With a growl, Aimee took Justine’s hand and started climbing the stairs. With a few words of direction to the bedroom, they spent very little time talking for the rest of the night.
***
Each weekend followed with much the same routine. After helping Aimee buy a mobile phone, they spent their spare time talking or messaging, and every weekend together. Aimee’s loneliness subsided with the instant and convenient access she had to Justine’s day, and her ribs healed without issue. Aimee travelled to Sydney two weekends a month, and Justine visited Armidale when Aaron was with his grandparents.
Aimee fit seamlessly into the small mother-son unit, and discovered they both had a fierce competitive streak when it came to Monopoly or any form of board game. More than once, Aimee was forced to referee the pair, and on nights Dawn came over, they decided to leave Aaron and Justine debating the finite details of their game and adjou
rn to the back patio.
“They get that from Justine’s paternal side,” Dawn said one night as they shut the sliding door on bickering mother and son.
“Yeah?”
“Playing Monopoly with him was taking your life in your hands.” Dawn shook her head. “Bless his soul, but he was a terrible sportsman.”
“Fine!”
“Fine!”
They heard Justine and Aaron snap at each other. Aaron could be heard clomping up the stairs and Justine flung open the sliding door and joined them on the patio. “I totally bought that apartment before he landed on my property. He owes me a hundred dollars.”
Dawn looked at Aimee with her eyebrows raised. “Apple didn’t fall far from the tree.”
Justine narrowed her eyes at her mother. “I am not as bad as Dad.”
“Yes, dear.”
Justine crossed her arms and scowled. “I’m not.”
Aimee patted the seat beside her and Justine took the invitation. Aimee wrapped her arm over her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. A few minutes later, Dawn retired to bed, and Aimee and Justine spent the night chatting quietly on the outdoor sofa, wisely avoiding the subject of the board game abandoned on the dining table inside.
***
Every fourth weekend saw the three-person unit travelling to country towns so Aaron could compete on the show jumping circuit.
In late October, they travelled to Camden for the Australian Youth Show Jumping Festival; the last event on Aaron’s calendar for the year. If he did well, he made the Australian youth squad. A fact that had Aaron excited and Justine a nervous wreck for the entire trip.
“I can’t watch,” Justine said, gripping Aimee’s hand like a vice while burying her face against Aimee’s shoulder.
Aimee patted her on her cap and chuckled. Justine went through this trauma at every event. They’d find a spot in the stands and Justine would mumble advice for each contestant, but when Aaron came up, she spent the entire time cringing and nervous for her son.
