by Pope, M. T.
“So tell Mama, what you been doing with your life.” She moved back and forth to the refrigerator to the stove.
“Wellll ... I—I moved to Baltimore, after I left here.” I wanted to say, when y’all put my ass out on the street, but I didn’t want to disrespect my mother. “And I enrolled into culinary school.”
“Wow, my baby a chef?” She turned around from the stove and smiled.
“Well, that didn’t happen right away. The money you paid me off with ... I mean gave me ... I got an apartment and a car, but that didn’t last too long so I looked for a job to keep money coming in, but no one would hire me and I had to use an alternative means of employment to get money to pay my rent, car note, and insurance.”
“Baby, you aren’t a stripper are you, because I didn’t raise you to sell yourself out.” She looked disappointed.
“No, ma’am, I wasn’t a stripper. I was a drug dealer. I sold drugs.” I couldn’t sugarcoat it at all, she and I was too old for that.
“A drug dealer?” She looked even more disappointed. “Lord have mercy! Are you still selling it? Do you have that stuff on you now?” She put her hand over her heart like Fred Sanford did on Sanford and Son.
“No ma’am, I stopped selling it a couple years ago. I moved back here to get my culinary degree and reconnect with y’all ... My family.”
“Thank you, Jesus!” She blew out a breath and turned back around toward the stove to cook whatever she was cooking. “Mama prayed for you out there, wherever you were, because I didn’t know where you went when we put—when you left this house.”
“Well, Mama, getting put out, moving to Baltimore, and selling drugs wasn’t in my plans for my life, but I made due with the hand that I was dealt. It doesn’t make it right but, it is what it is.”
There was a few seconds of silence in the room, then she started to hum a hymn or something as she threw some toast in the toaster.
“Mama, why did you let Dad put me out the house like that?” I blurted out.
“Wallace, your father was the head of the house and what he said went. I didn’t want it to be that way, but I did what the Bible said to do. I had to honor my husband.”
“And put your son out on the street.” I was angry now. All of the resentment I had bottled up over the years was threatening to spill out. “What kind of honor was in that?”
“You would never understand!” She slammed down the wooden spoon she had in her hand and walked toward me.
“Understand what!” I breathed hard and angry.
“How you could abandon your son to keep your husband happy. Yeah, I understand! ”
“Wallace, how dare you come back here with this foolishness? Did you come back here just to throw this back in my face?” She was crying, I was crying. I wanted to reach out and hug her to tell her I was sorry, but I didn’t. I wanted answers for all the pain that I was feeling. I wanted to know how she could sleep at night while I had nowhere to go and no one to turn to.
“No, I didn’t ... me ... I just.” I put my face in my hands and breathed hard again. She sat down beside me at the table and rubbed my back.
“Wallace, baby, I can’t take back what happened. I can’t. You’ll never know how it was to watch my firstborn walk out of the house and not know where he was going, how he was going to eat and if I was doing the right thing. I prayed to God that he would keep his hands of protection on you. That’s all I could do.” She leaned in closer and put her head on my shoulder. “Wallace, I loved you and still do. After all these years, I still wonder if I did the right thing. Baby, you’re still alive. You’re still alive. God kept you for me. Can’t you see, Wallace baby. I had to let you go, because I knew God would keep you.”
She pulled away and I sat up and looked at her in the eyes. She was smiling. I forgave her. I think. “I’m sorry, Ma. I shouldn’t have come at you in that manner. I know you only did what was right at that time.”
“Hello! Hello!” I heard someone yelling from the living room.
“I’m in here!” she yelled back.
Into the kitchen walked a tall pretty chick in a purple and white sundress, high heels, and a spiky haircut. She was pretty and she knew it. I was in awe. She walked over to my mother and gave her a hug.
“What you cooking and who is this, Ma?” She sashayed to a chair at the table and sat down and crossed her legs.
“Ma?” I looked at my mother in confusion. I can’t believe I had a sister. She must have been born after I left. “I have a sister too?” I smiled because I always wanted a sister.
“Well,” my mother cut her eyes at the chick across the table from me. “Not quite ... This is your brothersister, Robert or as he likes to be called, Rebecca.”
“Excuse me?” I blurted out.
Chapter 7
Ashley
Family Matters
April 6th 1:15 P.M.
I sat in on my bed spread eagle as I watched Grace as she lectured on my forty-two-inch plasma TV. I had opted to do class from my room. You see, nowadays when you’re in college you can sit in the physical classroom or you could log on to the classroom at home and get the lesson from the comfort of your home. It was a luxury of the times and I partook in it with a few of my classes. You could see them, but they could not see you. You could also buzz in if you had questions too.
“Her ass is turning me on,” I moaned as I stuck my finger in myself and swirled around, then I pulled out to let my partner taste me.
I was doing Grace, but I made sure I had someone else to return the favor. I liked to get a couple of nuts in good just like the next bitch.
“Umm,” She licked my finger and moved toward my legs like a cat on the prowl. She was older than me too. She had me by over ten years. She too was a little thick.
She went in for the kill and went straight for my kitty kat. I spread my legs as far as I could. She flicked her tongue on my clit and continued a trail up to my navel and then she scooped one of my C-cups into her mouth. My eyes were still on the class that I was attending via Internet. I was so entranced by Grace that I didn’t even notice that Ebony had moved up to my neck trying to give me a hickey.
I moved my neck letting her know I wasn’t into that.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, disappointed. I looked into her eyes and saw that her whole world had revolved around me. I wasn’t surprised. I knew that I was a good catch, but she didn’t know she was just my hot box (human sex toy).
Without noticing, my eyes wandered back toward the plasma screen without answering her question. Like two magnets trying to get together, I couldn’t stop looking at Grace and wondering how I could be with someone in her condition. I mean, I feel really fucking crazy right now even messing with her. It made me wonder if I was who I thought I was or was I just fucked-up like most people or more. I knew her secret and yet I still fuck with her on an intimate level. I’m dumbfounded with myself.
I felt the bed shift and it brought me back to reality. I looked at Ebony as she put on her clothes. She looked at me with anger in her eyes. I, on the other hand, let her get dressed. I was done with her for the day.
“So you’re not going to stop me from leaving?” I chuckled as I grabbed the remote to the TV and cut it off. I then got out of bed and walked up to Ebony. And grabbed her in an embrace and started fondling her all over ’til I got to her ass. I squeezed and shook it and got what I wanted and walked away from her.
“Hey, what are you doing?” she asked me as I opened her wallet that I had retrieved out of her back pocket. I wasn’t grabbing her butt for pleasure, well not that kind at the time; I was getting my fee out of her pocket. She walked up to me as if she was going to take her wallet back from me. I gave her a look that she knew all too well. She knew she had to pay to play. She backed up and waited for me to finish handling my business. I grabbed what I wanted and threw the wallet at her and watched her fumble and catch it.
I walked to the door and she trailed behind me.
“Whe
n I’m going to see you again?” she asked as we got to the front door.
“When I see you.” I responded. She looked at me in confusion as she stood with her back to my front door.
“Huh?” she asked.
She didn’t get it. I didn’t like to be trapped in a box, controlled, or questioned from no one, not even my parents. I only tolerated them for the time being.
“When ... I... . see ... you.” I broke it down like I was using sign language. She could be slow at times.
“Oh ... okay.” She looked down at the floor, disappointed. “Can I get a kiss good-bye?”
“How many times do I have to tell your slow ass that I don’t kiss bitches? I don’t know where you mouth been. You could be eating shit for all I know. Nah, not going to happen. Now roll out! I got other things to do.” I opened the door to let her out and Alex was standing at the door about to put his finger on the door reader so he could get into the apartment.
“Later baby,” Ebony said as she walked away. I wanted to bust the bitch in the head for being so reckless with her mouth, but shit I didn’t care. Alex couldn’t do anything to me either.
I walked back into the apartment with Alex following behind me.
“Ah ... Ashley, who was that chick?”
I turned around and gave him a menacing stare.
“Ms. Mind Your Fucking Business.” I turned and walked into our kitchen. He followed me like he usually did. Men just don’t know when to quit sometimes. “Damn, Ashley, why does it have to be all of that? I was just asking you a question. You are always acting like a bitch.”
“Did you just call me out of my name?” I walked up to him and pointed my finger in his face. “A-S-H-L-E-Y is how you spell my fucking name. Don’t disrespect me again. Don’t forget I could ruin your life with what I got on you, you need to be treating my ass right for holding onto your mess.” He looked pissed off at the mentioning of what I knew about him. But, I knew him. He wasn’t going to do anything.
“Damn, Ashley why you got to be like this? You are acting like a nutcase or something. Your ass need treatment or something.” He walked toward the refrigerator and pulled out a soda. I reached my hand out and he instantly gave me the soda. He went back to the refrigerator and pulled himself out another one. I had him trained too. I hated to treat him as I did, but his ass was so nosy that I thought he was going to try and bust my ass and mess up the operation that I had going.
“I thought you said you were done with women after that last chick showed up at Mom and Dad’s renewal ceremony.”
“You’re minding my business again.” I narrowed my eyes, letting him know he was pushing me past my breaking point. He knew me very well, so he backed off again.
“Crazy,” he let out with an exhausted breath.
“Yep, better know it.” With that said I walked out toward the living room and flopped down on the couch, drank my soda and planned my next move. A bitch needs to be ready to roll with the punches. (Yeah, I called myself a bitch, but only I can treat me like that, not anyone else). Not long after I got comfortable, Alex comes in and sits down next to me.
“Ashley, you ever wonder what our father was like and his family?”
“No, not really,” Ever since I was told about my father not being my father, I just shrugged it off and lived by the motto “It is what it is.” I was neither here nor there with all that.
“You mean to tell me you don’t want to know what he was like and all of that?”
“Alex, he dead and all the money he left us is gone. What I need to know about his life for? He dead and gone. Not unless they got some money or something.” I laughed. I know it seemed coldhearted, but I liked money. What can I say, I was selfish.
Alex shook his head in a way as to say “What a shame.” I didn’t care.
“Anyway, I’ve been doing some research and I think I may have found someone in his family that may be able to tell us about him.”
“What are you going do after you find them? I mean they asses might be broke or crackheads or something. I think you may need to leave this mess alone. You got family, be satisfied with what you got.” I was contradicting myself, because I was after more myself, money that is. Family; I had enough of them.
“Ashley, it’s not that simple. I want to know about family medical history and stuff like that, you never know. You might find out that you get your crazy- ass ways from a family history of psychotic episodes or something. You have been acting like a lunatic lately.” He laughed, but I didn’t.
“Whatever.” I got up off the couch and walked toward my room. “Just make sure you see if they have some money first. Don’t even mention my name if they asses broke.” I closed my door, undressed, showered, and got in the bed to get me some much-needed sleep. I had big plans for my future.
Chapter 8
Alex
Questions
April 6th 1:33 P.M.
“She must have fell and hit her head, she’s just plain evil. I can’t believe her attitude has gotten this out of hand.” I walked into my room after staring at her door for a few seconds in disbelief.
I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a picture of my girl. I had to hide her picture, because Ashley did know some stuff about me that I didn’t want her to know about. Little did she know we had some stuff in common. My girl was an older woman that was about thirty years older than me. I had to sneak around and be with her for fear Ashley would tell her my business. Ashley was just mean like that. I think I was falling in love with her and I didn’t want to risk losing her. The conversations we had been having were off the hook, she had wisdom and age and she was bigger than me, so she could throw me around a little bit too. I loved aggressive women, it turned me on to be manhandled by a woman.
I was interrupted by the vibrating of my cell phone.
I hit the answer button and put my phone on the cradle that was hooked up to my plasma television. As soon as I sat it on the cradle my father’s face popped up on the screen.
“Hey son.” He sounded upbeat and happy. He was in his office at home.
“Hey Dad,” I said equally happy. I loved my dad. He was such a good example of what a man could be if he put his mind to it. It made me work hard in my studies and on the football field. He looked a little bit older and I could even see his hair beginning to get some gray hairs sprinkled throughout his head.
“I’m just calling to check up on you and Ash. Making sure all is well.”
“Well, Dad, everything is fine. With the exception of Ashley, life is good out here.” I smiled.
“What has she been up to lately?” he asked. “She is the crazy twin,” he laughed.
“Nothing real crazy, just lashing out and stuff like that.” I couldn’t tell him that she was out here doing her lesbian thing again. I knew he would call her and confront her. I couldn’t afford for her to tell him that I took out a loan to get help with my issue. He was all about debt and money management. The last thing I wanted him to know about was me getting into debt.
“I think she is stressing about one of her classes she had a problem in.” I didn’t know anything about her class schedule or her study habits. Shit, I hardly saw her with a book in her hand. She was so smart I mean, maybe she was a quick study like she was when we were in high school.
“Did she find a job yet?” he asked.
“I don’t know Dad.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I try to stay out her way when it came to her business.” The incident we just had earlier flashed through my mind making it crystal clear that I really needed to do just that from now on.
“Well, let me call her phone to ask her.”
“Hold on, Dad. I need to talk to you about something else first.”
“What is it?”
“I need to know about my biological father, JamesJerry Parks.” His face became instantly flushed, like he had seen a ghost.
“Hold on.” He put up his finger and got up out of his chair. I heard what sounded like a door being clo
sed and then he appeared back in front of the screen again.
“What you need to know?” he asked..
“I just needed to know if you and Mom knew anything about him.”
“What brought this on, Alex?” He asked a question with a question.
“Well, I was just curious about this other side of family that I didn’t know about. And I also wanted to know about the medical history, so I know what I may or may not be pre-exposed to. You know, like mental illness and things of that nature.”
“Alex, I don’t think you have anything to worry about, besides I think most of his family has passed away.”
“Dad, did you know him?”
“In a way,” he fumbled. “But that’s neither here nor there. I think it is best that you leave the issue alone.”
“Dad, is everything okay?” His eyes seemed like they were watery, like he was about to cry or something. “You look like you are about to cry. Dad, I didn’t mean to bring up the past. I just had some questions about him, that’s all.”
“Sure, son, I’m fine,” he sniffed. “I think my allergies are messing with me, that’s all. Son, I can’t stop you from wanting to know. And I knew someday you would want to know. I just didn’t think it would have been so soon. I’m not going to hold you back, if this is what you want, then let me know your progress as it goes along.” He shifted in his chair and then looked out of the window.
“Dad, you are my dad. That will not change. I just need you to know that.” He nodded his head as a tear slid down his face. “I just don’t feel complete if I don’t find out about who and what this man was, so I will know more about me and why I’m the way I am. I love you, Dad, for being the best example I could ever have in life. You taught me to confront my issues and just like you did with your homosexuality issues.”
