Both Sides Of The Fence 3: Loose Ends

by Pope, M. T.

  “Oh, you are going to do it. You‘re the head deaconess at church, all you have to do is take out a love offering for yourself once a month.”

  “Bitch, you have lost your mind if you think I’m going to be stealing from a church. And my parents’ church at that.” She was a light-skinned chick and her face was almost beet-red.

  “Call me out my name again.” I warned her. “You know.... you never really know that the person you are intimate with is crazy until it’s too late. You’re in knee deep, bitch, so I suggest you do what I tell you or I could give this info to all the members of the choir at church and your parents.” I had slid my HTC Thirst phone over toward her and watched her eyes nearly pop out of her head.

  “Go ahead and flip through the pictures. There are plenty.” I sat there as she went through the pictures. I saw tears water in her eyes and fall down her cheek.

  “Now press the ‘phone’ button and scroll down until you see your husband’s name.” Her mouth flew open again. “He got a nice Facebook picture, doesn’t he?” I laughed. It was amusing to see the power you had over people when you knew stuff about them that they didn’t want anyone else to know.

  “Ebony, I didn’t want it to come to this, but since it has, I just want you to know what I am capable of. I also got video of our sex session too. Press the ‘camera’ button twice if you want to see.”

  She did as she was told and within seconds the sounds of her pleasuring me filled the air. She fumbled to get it to cut off, but heads still turned toward us in the few seconds that she had played it. At this point she was shaking and crying. Our waiter was coming our way as she handed me back my phone.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked, mainly looking at Ebony.

  “Yes, we are fine,” I assured her. “Well, I know I am. I don’t know about this soft bitch over there.” I shot a look at Ebony.

  Ebony simply nodded as she dabbed her eyes with a napkin.

  “Well, here is your bill. You can pay it at the greeter’s station on your way out.”

  “Thank you,” I said to our waitress. “The food and service was superb.”

  “Good. Have a nice day. Hope to see you again.”

  “You sure will.”

  “So do we have an understanding?”

  Ebony nodded her head yes.

  “I thought so.” I smiled, but she was still a wreck from the neck up.

  “It’s the price you have to pay for living on both sides of the fence.” I schooled her. “Play or get played ... You just got played ... Now I’m ready to go.” We both got and walked toward the front of the restaurant.

  “Go on out to the car ... I’m going to pay this bill and be right out.” She did as I asked and slowly walked outside.

  I walked over to the greeter’s station to “pay” my bill. The girl I just offed in the bathroom was all smiles as I walked over. I handed her my bill with no money or credit card. She hit a couple of keys on her computer and slid me back my receipt. It was paid in full.

  “Later,” I said as I turned away to leave.

  “Later,” she replied back. I turned the receipt over and her number was on the back. I smiled to myself.

  “I got me another one,” I said as I walked toward my car. We got in and pulled off toward Ebony’s house.

  “I need the first payment by next week, so don’t be late,” I said as she got out of my car and walked toward her house. I made it home about a half an hour later and got some homework done.

  When I got home I was exhausted. I simply fell on my bed like a log. “Being a bitch was hard work,” but I had to keep up with what my father started, well Shawn Black, I don‘t know nothing about this Jerry Parks guy. I left that up to Alex to figure out, with his nosy ass.

  Every since my father told us about his issues with his sexuality and that we weren’t his biologically, he started to spoil us. I think he was doing it to buy our love, but he never admitted it. I truly wasn’t all that fazed about him being that way, it was a part of life. And I knew firsthand what it was like to deal with that particular issue. I had no room to judge him. Even though we never really talked about it fully and in depth, I knew he wanted to and I did as well, but how do you start a conversation about something like that? I didn’t know how. And I never really sat down to think about it.

  Times like these when I’m alone in my room and whole house is quiet, I think about what it would be like to not have these feelings for other females and where it stems from. I want to be normal like any other girl growing up and chasing boys, but it didn’t work out for me like that. Here I am a spoiled brat/daddy’s girl and I do chicks. Screwed up, huh? ... I will say so too if I was outside looking in, but being in my shoes isn’t an easy task and sleeping around with the same sex isn’t something you can just give up. I tried and it’s not that easy. I even consulted my pastor back home and I was told in order for God to clean up an issue in your life you have to want to get rid of it, he doesn’t just take it away. You have to hate it and detest it for it to be removed. I simply wasn’t ready to let go.

  “Man, life is hard.” I got up out of my bed, walked over to the mirror on my dresser, and stared at myself for a few minutes. I was a good-looking chick to say the least. Not perfect, but I could pull a man if I wanted to. I had some hollas from men every now and then, maybe more than I noticed. But I did and that was a start. Before I could stop it, tears started flowing from my eyes and I was bawling. I wasn’t as hard as I played it out to be in front of people. I had a heart and I had feelings too. I was angry, but I didn’t know who I was angry at more, God, me, or my parents. I wanted to know who was to blame for the way I am now.

  “Somebody has to answer for the shit!” I threw myself on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

  Chapter 14

  Alex

  Me and my Baby

  April 19th 10:35 A.M.

  “How was your day, babe?” my girl asked me over the phone in a sensual voice that I adored. I was laying in my bed in my boxers and nothing else. I was a little ripped in my chest and abs. Nothing spectacular, but just enough to show off or pull my shirt off and get a couple of hollers.

  “It was good, baby girl.”

  “I love it when you call me baby girl.” She giggled. “It just does something to me.” The something to me was low and she dragged it out sexually. I was horny so I pulled out my dick and started playing with it.

  “Keep talking to me like that ... I need to squeeze one off real quick.”

  “Sure, baby. What you want me to say?”

  “Anything ... just moan.” I grunted as I tugged on my manhood.

  “Like thissss,” she hissed, “Ummmmmmmmm. And, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

  “Yeah... . Yeahhhh... . Like that,” I was feeling the pressure building up and my balls were tightening. “Keep on doing—” I couldn’t even finish my statement before I was spewing all over my stomach and chest.

  “Ahhhhhh.” I sighed. My chest heaved up and down. “Nothing ... like ... a ... good nut.”

  “You got that right honey.” Baby girl giggled into the phone. “I wish I was there to give you some hands-on loving.”

  “I know, baby. I’m just not ready for that step yet.” No, we haven’t been intimate yet. I just wasn’t ready to go the next level with her. Some things have changed about me and I wasn’t ready to expose it just yet.

  “Baby, size doesn’t matter to me. I can work what you got. Believe that.” She laughed. I felt some kind of way when she said that. Women always are saying that mess, but when it get down to it, her girls and the whole neighborhood will be know about your “issue” before it‘s all said and done.

  “Don’t worry, baby girl. The time is coming.”

  “Okay.” She sounded disappointed. I hate to make her wait because of my issues. But it was what it was. I needed more time. I was just hoping she would wait it out with me until I felt more comfortable.

  “Look, baby girl. I gotta go. I got practice and then work in a
bout an hour. Can I call you back later?”

  “Sure, daddy. I will be over my mom’s house looking after my dad for a few, but hit me up.” With that she hung up and I walked to my bathroom and took a shower.

  While in the shower, I thought back to how I first met my baby. It was something else I tell you.

  I was in an Omega Sigma Tau fraternity fund-raiser for homelessness. They were raffling off dates to some very fine ladies. It surprised me that the crowd of ladies was mixed with all ethnicities. I was just happy to be asked. A brother did have it in the looks department and it didn’t hurt that I was on the football team either. I was a good catch nonetheless.

  I was won by a successful Asian doctor in the crowd who was battling it out for me with another Latino woman. I was overflowing with pride as they went back and forth. My testosterone was in hyper-drive. I even did a couple extra poses to make the ladies go wild, and they did.

  Anyway, the next day the date was set for me and the foxy, hot Asian chick and it was a mess from the jump.

  First, the restaurant that she picked was a seafood spot that I didn’t know about until I got there. I am allergic to seafood by the way, except for fish, that is. The menu only consisted of that and steak, so I went with that. I only ate red meat occasionally, but I decided to let it slide and do the meat and potatoes thing.

  Second, I never thought this was going to be a serious, serious date. But homegirl had only one thing on her mind—dick. Don’t get me wrong, she had a banging body, but I wasn’t for a relationship just yet. School, family, football, and work were my main focuses right now. Adding a relationship would only further complicate things. I had enough of that dealing with Ashley and this whole James Parks research business. My plate was full enough.

  Homegirl had feet like an octopus and I constantly had to push her feet from in between my legs. Her ass had actually palmed a part of my thigh trying to find my dick. I was floored. The chick had talent for sure. And I hadn’t been laid in a minute. All kinds of sexual thoughts were flowing through my head, but I calmed myself down by thinking about the time I saw my grandmother naked once when I opened her bedroom door without knocking. That did the trick every time.

  “So why are you playing hard to get?” she said, attempting to get her foot in between my thigh again. “I’m trying to find out if the myth is true about you black men.”

  “Huh?” I looked at her in shock. I wasn’t dumb. I knew the myth. I just thought that myth died out a long time ago. It wasn’t a family restaurant but, I did look around and see who was in an earshot of our conversation. Thankfully no one was paying us any mind.

  “Don’t play dumb, you know what I want. I paid good money for a good time.” She smiled and then leaned over the table and whispered, “Me love you long time.” At that moment, I felt very dirty and used. Any other brotha probably would have jumped at the chance to bang an Asian chick and a doctor at that. If you were good in bed, you could be set up for life. But that wasn’t my MO. I wasn’t looking for sex. When I decided to be in a relationship, it would be for love and mutual compatibility. Not a hook-up.

  Our conversation was interrupted by the loud vibrating of a woman’s purse at the table closest to us.

  “My phone is vibrating,” She looked at us with nervousness all over face. She was alone at the table.

  But, I knew better, it couldn’t have been a phone, because her purse literally started moving toward the end of the table. She looked on in horror as her purse fell off the table and her contents emptied out on to the floor. A large dildo fell out onto the floor and she scrambled to get all of her contents back into her bag. She immediately rushed out the restaurant in embarrassment. I felt sorry for her. She must have been mortified. I know I would have been super-embarrassed.

  My date and I were close to the window. I was facing it and her back was to the restaurant window and I could see the lady from the other table standing outside smoking a cigarette.

  “I am going to take a smoke, I’ll be right back,” I told my date, got up out my seat and walked away from the table before she could get a word out. The truth is, I didn’t even smoke. But I did carry a pack of cigarettes, just for instances like these. I had to be on my A-game at all times.

  “Are you okay?” I said as I walked up to the lady from the restaurant. She was puffing away.

  After a few seconds of looking at me she spoke, “I’m fine.” She still looked embarrassed. I wondered why she would keep that kind of thing in her purse anyway, but I didn’t question it. The freak in me understood it clearly though.

  “You have nothing to be ashamed of.” I spoke with sincerity. “Everybody has an extremely embarrassing moment and that was yours. Just be glad it wasn’t your mother or father it fell out in front of.” She laughed and so did I. I looked back into the restaurant to see my date on her cell phone and paying me no attention. My guess would be that she was trying to find a replacement for the dick she wasn’t going to get from me tonight.

  “Aren’t you on a date?” she asked me as she looked back into the restaurant and looked at my date.

  “Sort of.” I shrugged. “She won me.”

  “Huh?” She looked puzzled.

  “She won me in an auction at a charity event my fraternity had yesterday.”

  “Lucky her.” She smiled.

  “Well ...” I looked away and blushed.

  “I’m sorry for being so forward, but a sister is too old to be holding back. My clock is ticking honey.” She laughed. I did as well. I looked at her for a few seconds and noticed that she was an older woman. But she too was gorgeous: High cheekbones, tall legs and firm breasts. Our eyes locked and from that moment I knew that I would talking to her again. Again, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but a new friend definitely wouldn’t hurt.

  I didn’t go back into the restaurant and from that day on, we talked almost every day. That was a couple of months ago and we have been getting closer everyday too.

  The next day was Saturday and it went by fast. Practice was only two hours long and then I was out of there. I showered, chatted with a couple of the fellas and made my way over to the school cafeteria. I was looking good today too. Some blue linen Capri pants and matching shirt did a brother all right in this hot weather. After work, I planned on catching the bus to one of the addresses I wanted to spy on just in case Ashley was right and my “father’s” family was a bunch of lowlifes or something like it.

  After work I decided to go home and get some rest, I didn’t feel like doing a whole bunch of traveling after I left work. A brother was tired.

  Chapter 15

  Grace

  Constant Reminders

  April 23rd 5:21 P.M.

  “Hello.” I picked up my cell phone and sluggishly answered it. I was in my office not doing much of nothing at all. I had just finished instructing my last class. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I had so many decisions to make and none of them were easy.

  “Hey, baby. How are you doing?” my elderly mother asked. I didn’t talk to her much, but this was the second time in a couple of weeks. I hoped she wasn’t starting anything new, like calling me everyday. She reminded me too much of a past that I did not want to remember, but now was being taunted with it daily, by others and myself. Alberta Candace Jones was my mother’s name. Most people called her Candace because she didn’t like Alberta or Berta, which is what close family called her.

  “I’m still alive.” I blew into the phone. I was exasperated and heavy-hearted. I wanted to fall on the floor and cry, kick my feet and scream as loud as I could. But, I was an adult and that would have been childish. I tried to pretend that I could deal, but I was about to break any day now. I just knew it.

  “Grace, what’s wrong?” She was so sweet, but I just couldn’t pretend like everything was okay.

  “You already know.” I was stone-cold serious. There was a long pause, like there always was when we talked or didn’t talk about the obvious. I was fucked up for
life and she was privy to all the facts. Yeah, she knew every fucking thing.

  “Baby—baby—I—”

  “Save it. Before you even start with your excuses about how you didn’t know and all that shit.” Mothers know when their children were being tampered with and abused. She just paid it no mind because she was getting what she wanted out of the deal. My uncle, who was also her brother-in-law John, was the nastiest pedophile in California. He took that shit to a new low. She would let this bastard molest me for some fucking liquor, which he would buy her by the gallons, to the point where she would pass out. She was on welfare and she would make sure the rent was paid and that food was in the house, but her ass was a stone-cold drunk. She couldn’t keep a man because of it. My father left her ass because of it. He never touched my older sister, Sherry, but he made it a point to babysit me and sent my mom and sister on trips to the movies and other places like that. His ass was staying with us because his wife put his ass out. I overheard him and my other uncle talking about how he was molesting his own son, Jerry, as well and how good it was. My stomach lurched and churned roughly as I thought about it as if it was yesterday. I was always sneaky as a child and I would always creep downstairs and listen to the conversations the adults were having on the porch. I knew too much about adult stuff at eleven years old.

  He didn’t stay with us too long, because he was a “crazy paranoid muthafucka” as my mother would call him in a drunken stupor.

  “I’m sorry, Mama. I’m just having a rough time right now.” Tears rolled down my face. I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me and take me away, but I knew that was not going to happen. Well, not just for me. If anything that shit would take a couple hundred unwilling people as well with all the quakes that have been happening lately.

  “It’s all right, baby. I know what ya mean. Your past has some way of sneaking back up on you at the least appropriate moments. I was just calling you to see if you going to be putting any flowers on your sister’s grave. This weekend makes the fifth year she been gone. I miss her so much.” Mother starts to sob into the phone and I get a little misty-eyed myself. Five years ago my cousin Jerry who changed his name to James and Sherry were brutally shot and killed in a murder-suicide in Baltimore. To this day we don’t have the reason why, just the burden of going to her grave. She had a son that she brought back to California. My sister was very smart and had the potential to be the best. She had a good career in law. But when she moved to Baltimore to get away from my drunk of a mother and to start fresh, she got caught up in some foolishness and ended up getting pregnant. She never told us who the father was and we never really asked. She was just as screwed up from my mom being a drunk and all the changes I was going through myself.