by Pope, M. T.
“Mama, I got to go now.” I tried to rush her off the phone. She had just taken me back further then I wanted to go in history and added some more stress to my already overloaded plate.
“You gonna go?” she asked.
“I’ll try.” I hung up the phone abruptly. I wanted to but I sincerely couldn’t. I just couldn’t handle going to a graveyard and talking to somebody who was dead, because I felt like I was close to it or I needed to be. Everything I was living was a lie and the truth was trying to drag me out kicking and screaming. Everything I said was a lie and now breathing hurt. I couldn’t and didn’t know how I was going to go on if the truth came out. Would my husband accept me for me in the condition I was in? Shit, if Ashley could then I knew he could. That shit puzzled me too. She was not only a psycho, but her ass was fucked-up in the head as well.
Makes you wonder how her home life was and her parents. They had to have some disorders and dysfunction going on. Shit, you born with that kind of crazy. I laughed but it wasn’t anything funny about it. I was still so curious about how she got the information. Only a handful of people knew and I kept that to a complete minimum. I didn’t even want to know half the time, but she knew and she had the proof. So here I was at her beck and call and couldn’t stop her if I wanted to. I like the peace-filled life I had before I met her and messed it all up by being vulnerable and letting my guard down. My regret is too little too late.
I got up out of my office chair, closed my blinds and left for the day. I was going home and prepare a meal fit for a king for my husband, because I didn’t know how long I would have him.
“Hello,” I said, answering my cordless phone that was on the wall. I was running around the kitchen a little. Everything in my kitchen was marble and stainless steel and I loved it, even if I didn’t cook in it as much as I wanted to. I was preparing a couple of baked chicken breasts stuffed with shrimp and crabmeat and a nice sauce drizzled over the top. I had baked potatoes and asparagus for sides and some corn bread muffins.
‘“What are you doing?” Ashley asked with a smug tone. I was so sick of her.
“I’m fixing dinner for me and my husband,” I said with some sass.
“Oh really, what you fixing for your man?” she countered. By this time I was getting a real attitude.
“It doesn’t concern you. Shouldn’t you be studying or something?” I asked. I had the phone in between my ear and my shoulder while I took the corn bread out of the oven.
“I am studying,” she laughed. “I’m studying your husband as he walks his fat ass in the house.”
“What?!” I quickly placed the tray of muffins on the counter and did my best to run to the front window. Sure enough, my husband was getting out of his car and walking up the driveway. “Where are you at?”
My breathing changed to a heavy pant as I walked briskly back to my kitchen to pretend like I was still cooking. I had a couple of seconds because of my husband’s weight.
“I’m in my car waiting to come in for dinner.”
“You can’t come in,” I blurted out.
“I can and I will.” She laughed. “A sister sure is hungry. I’ll be in in a couple of minutes. Oh and I might want dessert afterward. If you know what I mean.” I heard her laughing as I hung up the phone. This bitch has lost her mind. All I want to know is why.
Seconds after I hung up off the phone my husband walks in the kitchen.
“Hey, babe. What do I owe this honor?” He had a silly smirk on his face. I couldn’t blame him because I rarely cooked.
“Oh, it’s nothing special. I just wanted to cook for my man.” I smiled, trying to cover up the anguish on my face. I was going to have to put on the act of my life.
“Wow, I never saw this coming. Am I dying?” He burst out into laughter. I chuckled slightly trying to find something in me that would make me laugh as hard as he was, but there was nothing in me to laugh about at all.
“No, babe. Go wash up while I set the table.” I kissed him on the cheek as I walked into the dining room to set the table for three. How in the hell I was going to explain to him Ashley was coming in to eat was beyond me. All this lying and hiding was taking its toll on me for sure.
“Oh, honey we will be having a guest coming to join us for dinner,” I called out down the small hallway that leads to his study and our small first-floor bathroom.
“That’s great, honey,” he said as he came in the dining room and sat down.
I walked back into the kitchen and prayed to the lord god that Ashley would get hit by a car or something before she got to our house. I needed a serious miracle right now. The chiming of the doorbell told me that I was on my own. I couldn’t even blame God for not answering my prayer. I was asking for a lot. I slowly walked to the front door. I had to walk past the dining room and living room before I got to the door and I took as much time as I possibly could. I straightened up a flower arrangement and picture on the wall before I got to the front door. Shit was just that bad.
I stood at the door and sighed for another second before I opened the door. Ashley was dressed in a calf-length denim jumper and a white shirt underneath it. She looked innocent, but I knew better than that.
“Hello, Ms. Ashley.” I perked up my tone just in case my husband decided to come to the door after me. “I’m so glad you could make it.” The smile on my face was that of the Joker in Batman. I was smiling so hard my cheeks were shaking like the muscles were about to give out. I let her in and waved at a neighbor across the street. I wanted to scream for help, but decided against it. It was of no use anyway, because I couldn’t begin to explain my situation to any one and not have them looking at me like I had two heads.
I closed the door and showed Ashley to the dining room. I let her seat herself and I made my way to the kitchen to get the food and take one last breather before I walked back into the dining room. I made several trips back and forth before everything was finally set out on the table.
We had a large dining room table with six chairs to match. One chair on both ends and two chairs in the middle. I sat on one end and David sat at the other end. Ashley sat on my left and in the chair closest to me. I filled both their plates before I sat down to eat myself. I only baked in glassware and my nervousness showed up several times when my metal spoon clanked the side of the glass as I served the food.
“Is everything okay, babe?” my husband questioned me with a frown.
“Yeah, I think I’m just moving too fast. I know how you like your food ... hot.” I smiled and then looked at Ashley.
“You’re right about it.” He laughed. “My baby treats me like a king.” He looked Ashley’s way.
“I bet she does.” She smiled back. “Because she sure gives her students the first-class treatment as well. She bends over forward for me all the time.”
“What?” My husband drops his fork on his plate and looks at me. All kinds of shit flooded my mind and body, so much that I almost slide out of the chair and onto the floor.
“Oh... . my bad... . I meant she bends over backwards for me all the time.” She laughed and looked at me.
“Oh ... okay.” He laughed as well and picked up his fork and began eating as well. I was beyond mortified. If that was her way of letting me know she wasn’t playing, it was now well understood on my part.
“So I take it you’re one of my wife’s favorite students, because she’s never invited anyone over for dinner. Ever.”
“Yeah, you can say that. I was having a little trouble in her class and she was more than willing to help me after class.” All the while she was saying this; her bare foot made its way up my skirt and rested in between my legs. She was impressive, because she never missed a beat while talking and eating. I, on the hand, had completely loss my appetite. And conversation was the last thing on my mind.
“Wow, babe. I’m so proud of you for taking special interest in your student’s academic well-being.” He smiled and continued to eat his food.
“I do what
I can,” was all I could manage to get out.
I noticed that David was finishing his food so I decided to get dessert ready. I slid my chair out and made my way into the kitchen to get the Bundt cake I had baked.
“I’ll be back in a sec. I am going to get dessert.”
“All right now.” My husband smiled. I loved to see his smile, especially when I cooked. “I’m going to sleep good tonight.”
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a few dessert saucers and a cake knife to serve. Ashley snuck up on me as I was rinsing the knife off in the sink.
“I’m ready for dessert now.” She grabbed my behind and squeezed it, causing me to jump and yelp a little.
“Look! Stop it before my husband catches you.” I scolded her as I turned back around. She backed up a step and looked at me. I was afraid of what she would do next. But I stood my ground and kept the serious face I had.
“Okay, but I am getting impatient so I need you to get rid of him fast, so I can get the dessert I really want.”
After Ashley left and my husband went off to bed, I got restless and decided to go do some shopping and the only place I knew I could spend a couple of hours to myself and not be disturbed. That was at the all-night Wal-Mart. Yes, I love to shop.
Even at eleven o’clock at night Wal-Mart was thriving with shoppers as if it was eleven in the morning. I grabbed me a cart and made my way over to the ladies department to see if they had some cute shirts that I might like to wear. A sister had to keep up appearances and my style always had to be unique and flawless. I know what you’re saying. Wal-Mart is nowhere near Neiman Marcus, but I found out that if you mix and match clothes from different outlets then you can come up with a style all your own. High-priced clothes aren’t always the best, despite what people say.
I walk around a few racks, found some cute tops and a nice blazer that would work well with something I already had at home.
“Grace?” I heard someone call out. I turned to see who it possibly could be that I knew and was up in the Wal-Mart at such a late hour as me. I turned to see someone from my past ... someone I hadn’t seen I such a long time.
“Heyyy,” I squealed like only a woman could do as I almost ran over to the only best friend I ever had. I was so shocked to see her. “Oh ... my ... goodness! Girl, you look good!” I huge and squeezed her as tight as I could.
“You too, girl.” She kissed me on cheek and pulled back.
“Reeby ... Reeby... . Reeby.” I shook my head in disbelief. It had been some time that we’d seen each other. “Turn around so I can get a good look at you.” She did so and she didn’t have a hair out of place. Everything was in place like it always was when we used to hang out. It was a short time but our friendship was a fast one and we bonded like Krazy Glue.
“Girl, let me see you too.” I turned around in same style she did, but I was a little disheveled because I practically ran out of the house after all of the drama I endured moments earlier. “You are looking good too.”
“So how long has it been?” I asked her.
“Girl, I haven’t seen you in over thirty years.”
“Wow, girl that is a long time,” I said, amazed at all the time that went by. I had to admit that we both still looked good even after all these years.
“Yes, it is. So what have you been up to in all this time?” she asked with her hands on her hips.
“Well, I’m married and a professor at UCLA.” I smiled hard. I was proud of my life spite the drama. “And no children.”
“Married?” she asked. “Really?” she asked like I wasn’t supposed to have a man.
“Yeah, girl and he’s fine.” Was fine! I wanted to add, but I left it alone because I was long from perfect myself.
“And chile we both crossed children off our list a long time ago.” She laughed and then glazed over. I was instantly reminded of my molestation: The reason I couldn’t have children. But we both had that in common. That is why we were so close so long ago. We had a lot in common.
“So what about you? You find that special man?” I asked with a smile. Hoping she did. We both vowed to find a man that would fit our needs and love us unconditionally. Our traumas as children lead us to look for good men because of the behavior of one man toward us. You know ... like anyone that has been abused.
“Well, girl I got me a little something on the side. It ain’t serious yet, but he got potential.” She laughed. “I’ll keep you posted.”
“Let me get your number so we can hook up and hang out,” I asked as I whipped out my cell phone.
“Sure girl. I likes to hang out.” She giggled. I called out my number and she punched them in. I did the same with hers.
“Look, I have to get home so I can get ready for work tomorrow. But I promise I will call you when I get some time to hang out.”
“Sure thing,” she agreed.
“Give me a hug so I can be on my way.” I reached out to hug her one more time before we both went our separate ways.
I smiled the whole drive home. I feel like friends that you can rely on and relate to is a necessity in life. It is always good to have someone to talk to and confide in and never have to worry about it coming back to bite you. I was so glad to have my best friend back in my life.
Chapter 16
Wallace
Spoiled Rotten
April 26th11:35 A.M.
It was a windy Saturday evening and I was back at my mother’s house. It took me a couple of days to get used to the fact that my brother was now a full-fledged woman. That shit is wild. I haven’t see him since he was sixteen, but I never remembered him being feminine in any way. We weren’t around each a whole lot as teenagers, but I don’t think I would have missed this by a long shot. It was puzzling to say the least.
It was just me and “her” in the house. My mother had some kind of church function she had to attend and my brother/sister always sat and cared for my father while she was gone. I decided that I would come over and help since we haven’t seen each other or talked in such a long time. Let’s just say a brotha had some questions.
My father, who was sick with Alzheimer’s and some dementia, really didn’t know who I was when I had first came over today. My dad was in the bed. In pajamas. He was thin, but not frail. He had moments of clarity. Like when he looked at me and asked, “Where your ass come from? You ran off like the sissy you were.” I looked at him and felt my hand ball up involuntary, but I unclenched it and simply nodded my head. There was multiple medication bottles spread out across the dresser and I spotted a box of adult diapers in the corner.
“This nigga is in bad shape,” I mumbled to myself and turned to walk out of the room and back downstairs.
“Baby, where you going?” My mother followed after me as I made my way down the steps and into the living room.
“I’m going to sit down here for a little bit.” I sat down on the sofa. “I’m a little tired from work this week.” It was partially true but I went with it. I really didn’t work that hard and I was in good shape for my age.
“Your father didn’t mean what he said up there.” She sat down and rubbed the top of my head. “His mind is leaving him and he probably didn’t even know who you were.” I looked at her and shook my head. She was still in denial about the mean old bastard, but I let it slide.
“You’re probably right.” I kissed her on the cheek. She got up off the sofa; she made her way to the coat closet, put on her coat, and then made her way out of the door. I went into the kitchen to fix me something to eat.
I sat at the table for about twenty minutes eating and thinking: thinking about James, James’s look-alike, Alex, and now my transsexual brother.
“Man, this is some mess. I should have stayed my butt in Baltimore for all of this drama.” I picked up my dishes and put them in the dishwasher and it automatically started itself. It scared the shit out of me when I did it at my own home. This new technology was something else. Everything was high-tech and almost everything
ran on electricity. Electricity was an eighty-percent source for powering cars now too. Gas was steadily declining.
Anyway, I was getting lonely down here and I wanted to see what led my brother to becoming a woman. I was trying to form the questions in my head as I walked up the carpeted stairs and made my way into my mother’s room.
“Ohhh! Shit!” I belted out as I watched my brother/ sister going down on my father’s manhood with his mouth. I immediately turned and sprinted down the stairs, slipping and falling down a couple, but I quickly regrouped myself. I got up and made my way into the kitchen to find something alcoholic to drink.
“What the fuck!” I yelled to no one in particular. My mother didn’t have anything but cooking wine. I wanted something stronger, but this would have to do. I found the biggest glass I could find, poured me a glass and sat down to try and erase the memory of what I just saw. I have never in my life seen something so disturbing in all my life.
“Don’t judge me,” my sister/brother said as he walked in the kitchen. He was switching and all that. He looked and sounded like a real woman. I got up out of my chair and leaned up against the kitchen sink with my arms folded. I didn’t want him anywhere near me. I had run into transsexuals before but I never indulged in it. I was a gay man and that is what I wanted. If I wanted a man that dressed like a woman then I just would have gotten a woman. Point-blank. “You don’t know anything about me.”
