by S. L. Giger
It wasn't as hard to keep my life at the Cape from Alex as before since his leg now allowed to pick up work at his deli again, too. But there were two days at the beginning of August when we were both off from work. Alex had the glorious idea of taking me camping. The only time I've ever camped before was in my backyard in Switzerland. Where I could return inside the house whenever I wanted. I mean, how comfortable can a camping mattresses get? Not to mention all the insects that could crawl inside the tent. Nevertheless, I said yes, when he proposed it to me because all I could think of was him, me, a tent, and nobody else.
Melissa and Luke were a bit disappointed that they wouldn’t get to spend my first Siren birthday with me. But they understood that this weekend with Alex was important to me.
Since neither of us had a car, we rented one. We even took a 4wd, so that we would be able to access the secluded campsites in the national park. Before we headed into the woods, we drove to Greenfield, where Alex grew up, to get the camping gear. We arranged to have lunch with his dad.
They had one of these typical cute houses with stairs leading up to the porch and an American flag dangling next to it.
His dad waited in the kitchen.
“Hey, I heard you pull up.” He gave his son a hug.
I stayed back a little, unsure what I should do but then his dad glanced over Alex’s shoulder at me. He took a step forward, holding out his hand.
“Hi, I’m Flavio. How’re ya doing, Nathalie?” We shook hands. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
His dad was in his late fifties. His dark hair had a few patches of gray, which only added a sense of maturity to his appearance. He was still good looking, like one of these doctors on the TV shows. I wouldn’t have a problem with the fact that Alex was aging, I thought.
We went out for lunch to a local Chinese restaurant.
“I hardly ever get to see my son anymore, and this is his favorite restaurant, so I thought we should go here. You wanna know why it’s his favorite?” He looked at me.
“Dad, I actually like the food here, that’s not the reason anymore.”
“What’s not the reason anymore?” I asked as Alex rolled his eyes.
“At the end, you can reach into a bucket and take as many fortune cookies as you want. Alex loves fortune cookies. He always took two hands full.” His dad chuckled.
“Well, can’t ever have enough good fortune, right?” He flashed his teeth at me.
“Alex Thatcher, I have discovered that you have a fetish.” I laughed.
I strategically sat down opposite of them, to better be able to hide the food on my napkin. We ordered the ‘Lucky 8 treasures’ platter, which to my dismay came with sweet and sour soups.
“No soup for me, please. I can’t eat hot soup in hot weather.”, I said to the waitress.
“It wouldn’t be a normal meal with you if you didn’t have any special requests.” Alex squeezed my arm.
“Well, I know what I want and what I don’t want,” I replied.
Luckily, his dad liked to talk, so I wasn’t put on the spot the whole time we were eating. He was pretty funny, though. Everything went well until I messed it up.
“What are you doing?”, Alex’s looked at me in confusion, so that his dad stopped talking and looked at me as well.
I was caught in action, as I dropped a piece of fried chicken onto my knees.
I laughed nervously. Alex glanced under the table and obviously saw the pile of food on my legs.
“Can I talk to you for a second”, he said through gritted teeth.
I grabbed the napkin to hide everything in it and dropped it into a bin on the way to the porch.
“I’m curious to know what plausible explanation there could be for this.”
“Um,” I thought hard.
“Are you anorexic or something and that’s why you hardly ever eat anything? That kind of would make sense because you really eat so little all the time”, he said somewhat harsh. “First of all, that would be such a waste of food. Second, you are so good-looking, you could gain a few pounds and still look better than all the supermodels out there,” he looked at me with a deep crease between his brows.
“Okay, this is really embarrassing. No, I’m not anorexic,” I punched him in his shoulder. “I’ve never been camping.” I let these words sink in for a moment. “So, I was afraid that we’d have to starve the whole weekend or only eat insects and berries. Therefore, I thought, I would bring some take-away and eat it when you don’t notice.”
He stared at me as if he was struck by lightning. “Nathalie, sometimes you act so weirdly. It makes me think you are some kind of alien from another planet and not just from another country. I mean, that you have lived for a long time in another country.”
“But will we have food?” I asked.
“Of course. We will have too much food. I planned a whole 5-star menu for the entire weekend. Who do you think I am?” He played to be offended.
“Okay, perhaps I should have asked beforehand,” I suggested. “But now you know what a camping novice I am.”
“Yes, I’ll make you set up the tent alone so that you at least learn something and would survive on your own out in the wild.”
“Great, all that work involved.”
“I hope I can change your mind and that you will enjoy this time out in nature.”
We went back inside.
“Sorry to have kept you waiting,” Alex said to his dad.
“No problem, I hope whatever you had to resolve out there, is resolved now.”
“Yes, all good,” Alex answered.
“Now, I know why he spends so much time in the city,” his dad said to me. “You are a very pretty girl, Nathalie. His mom was pretty too. I’m glad good taste runs in the family.” Then he sighed. “I wished I could come camping with you. But you young folks go enjoy yourself.”
I was relieved that they were done with their food by then and I didn’t have to pretend any longer. That was close. And it wouldn’t make things easier for the future since Alex would probably watch me even more from now on.
When we walked out of the restaurant, I grabbed a whole hand full of fortune cookies. We drove back to the house, and Alex threw everything we needed into our trunk. He packed food to make hamburgers, sandwiches, and pasta and for breakfast cereal and milk. A normal human should survive a couple of days with that.
“See you in two days.” Flavio waved after us, as we drove toward the Green Mountain National Forest.
Of course, the name kind of implied that there was a lot of green, but it struck me again how much forest and nature there was in North America. Somehow, I always above all pictured crowded concrete cities.
Alex was driving. His leg had healed perfectly. He only needed to wear a special boot when he was walking a lot but other than that, he was fine. I still had to wear my splint, but that wasn’t a nuisance. It felt good sitting in the passenger seat next to him. As if we were a team that belonged together.
We took a turn onto a 4wd only road. It must have rained a while ago, but cars had been passing through anyway and left deep tire ruts in the dirt. Now the dirt road was so uneven that everything in the car was getting thrown around, including me.
"Relax, this car is made for that. We will get through this." Alex laughed.
Still, I held on tight to the handle next to my head, so that my knuckles turned white.
"Look for a nice spot where we could put our tent." He said, the eyes on the path with an excited glimmer in them.
"And what's that supposed to look like?" Close to a hotel, I thought to myself, being more relieved than ever that I wouldn't have to go to the bathroom out here.
"Flat, shaded by trees. Perhaps we find a cute site close to the river." He listed. I searched the forest for a flat plane while being shaken.
"That looks like a good spot." He pointed to the side. The track was leading down a hill. Obviously, we weren't the first o
nes who would go down there but I wondered how on earth we'd get back up again. It was pretty steep.
Alex drove down there anyway. I felt like on a very unsecured roller coaster. We made it down onto a clearing right next to the stream. It pretty much fit the description of his perfect camping spot. He parked the car. We got out and explored the area. I saw a deer on the other side of the water, and all I heard were the birds singing and the splattering of the water. We seemed to be the only people for miles.
Alex inhaled deeply.
"I sometimes forget how good the air smells out here. It never smells so clean in the city."
"It's pretty here," I said.
He nodded. "And so are you. My dad was right. You are beautiful." He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head which made the hair on my neck stand up. "So, let's teach you how to set up a tent.”
He opened the trunk and reached for a camping chair, which he then installed in the shade of a tree. Even in the late afternoon, the sun was strong.
"Would you like a beer?" He reached into the cooler.
"No thanks." I declined.
"Thought so. There is Sprite and water as well in case you get thirsty." He took his beer and leaned back in the camping chair. Stretching his legs away he took a sip and sighed.
"Life is good, you know." Then he added with a smile playing around his lips. "The tent is in the trunk. If you have any questions, I'll gladly give you directions."
"You are kidding, right?"
"Nope. I don’t want to be mean here, but I think it's an important skill for a girl to be able to raise a tent on her own. So, once I know you can do it, I can help you again."
"You might not have to worry about this with me since that will most likely be the last time I'm going camping anyway." I snorted. Nevertheless, I stomped to the car to retrieve the tent bag. Not that I was a princess or anything, but I thought since he wanted to go camping, he could at least do the work. He was visibly enjoying his position.
I dropped the tent to the ground. Alex then gave me directions, how to roll it out, where to put the pegs and how to insert the poles. Once I was done, I took a step back and looked at something that actually looked like a tent.
“Good job!” Alex said. “You did that way faster than I bet.” He grinned.
So did I. It hadn’t been that hard after all. I was actually kind of proud.
“In case you need it, I put toilet paper on the passenger seat. Now you can sit back and enjoy the scenery while I’ll get dinner started.” He was already setting up the portable gas grill.
“Oh, a man who can cook.” I clapped my hands.
“Hey, I make breakfast rolls and sandwiches in the deli all the time, but the real test is when it comes to a good burger. And that’s what I’ll conjure up now here in the middle of nature.”
I saw the muscles in his arms flex when he lifted the gas bottle. I couldn’t have cared less about burgers. These arms, on the other hand... They were inviting me to a whole different story.
Soon, meat, onions, and peppers were on the BBQ, and it started to smell good. Alex moved everything around to make some space and put the patties on the grill for a couple of minutes too. Then, the food was ready, and we were building our hamburgers. He had filled the peppers with cream cheese. I’m sure it would have been delicious.
We ate in the camping chairs, facing the stream. I now was extremely careful that he wouldn’t notice anything about me not eating.
“It’s so peaceful out here.” He said.
“Yes, I get that feeling too when I am at the Cape.”
“I can’t believe we didn’t once go up to your parents’ house all summer. It’s as if you are hiding something.” He jokingly raised an eyebrow.
“It’s better in late summer anyway; the water is the warmest then.”
“Well, then we should go soon.”
“Mhh, we will see.”
After dinner, I quickly excused myself to go to the bathroom. I walked away until I was sure that I was far enough into the bushes. Then I darted off to the park visitor center, where they had real garbage bins. I dropped my dinner in there and then went back to our campsite, where Alex threw our cups in the trunk.
“I thought we’d reuse them,” I said.
“Actually,
We washed the dishes with water we had brought in gallon bottles.
“You really were prepared for this,” I stated.
“It’s not like I’m doing that the first time.”
“You take all your girlfriends camping? I knew it.” I joked.
“Well, I did go camping with Sandra.” He handed me a wet plate to dry. “But I like camping, and so it was natural that we’d go camping sooner or later. However, this feels different.”
“Does it? Why is that?” I enquired.
“You do realize that this is the first time we actually spend a night together?” There was an implied subtext sounding along with his phrase.
“I am aware of that.” I breathed, thinking that it certainly wasn’t me who delayed this occasion.
“And I have to admit that if I didn’t concentrate hard on drying the dishes right now, I’d start kissing and undressing you. So, I can’t promise that there won’t be any indecent behavior later.” He handed me more dishes, without looking at me.
The air felt as if the slightest spark would start a huge explosion. That’s how dense it felt.
I looked at Alex. “I don’t think I’d regard that as indecent behavior.”
I could see him exhale and nod, but he kept concentrating on the last cup and then walked away to fold the BBQ together. I stared at him in confusion. Why was he so hesitant? We both knew that tonight was the night and there was no more playing happy teenagers. So, why did he still have to play this game and pretend like there was a chance that nothing would happen? I sighed but nonetheless, I decided to put my frustration aside and for now enjoy the nice evening out here.
“I’ll build us a fire. Wanna help me find some branches?” He asked.
“Okay.” I nodded.
He went to the car and retrieved two headlamps. “Here, this is my sister’s.”
It was starting to get dark. We put the headlamps on and went for a walk in the area. Alex took my hand and we walked with our fingers entwined until we couldn’t hold the branches with our free hand anymore. Soon, a nice little fire was burning and the light of the flames was dancing on the surrounding trees.
He placed a blanket on the ground in a safe distance from the sparks. He sat down on the blanket and then expectantly looked at me.
“Well, do you need a formal invitation letter?” He patted the ground in front of him.
I sat down as well and leaned against his chest. I pulled his arms around me. They were better than any self-knitted sweater in the world.
For a while, we sat there, without talking. Listening to the crackling of the fire.
“Mhh, your hair always smells so good.” Alex had his mouth and nose at the back of my head.
“I do like to shower and wash my hair from time to time,” I said. “Probably a pass-time I have to renounce for tomorrow since I don’t suppose that you brought a portable shower too.”
“No, which brings us back to swimming naked.”
I felt his body tense up. Not in a good way. I sat up straighter and turned around to look at him.
“What’s your problem, Alex?”
“What do you mean?” He asked nervously.
I once read in the advice section of a magazine that if you have a problem with someone, rather than accusing them, you should make sure that you are speaking from your perspective. Meaning, to start the phrases with ‘I feel, I think, It seems to me’ etc.
“I feel like every time it comes to anything concerning body contact, you get very distant. I don’t want to rush into anything either. But we’ve been seeing each other almost every day for the past three months, and the only thing we do is h
old hands.” I threw my hands up in the air not being able to hide my frustration. “Twice tonight, you mentioned me being naked. Once you wouldn’t even look at me and before it felt like you were turning into a rock, that’s how much you tensed up. You are a young guy in his twenties, shouldn’t you want more?”
He turned his gaze to the ground and didn’t say anything. Perhaps I stepped over the line. Maybe he had some kind of physical problem and was too embarrassed to talk about it, and I had just put him on the spot.
“I do want you.” He pretty much whispered. “In fact, I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anybody. I think I fell in love with you.” His expression was as serious as if he had told me that I had a terminal illness.
“You make it sound as if that’s a bad thing,” I said.
“I can’t help it. The more time we spend together, the more I want to be with you. I want to spend every second with you, and I want to share my daily life with you. It’s ridiculous.”
“Alex, that’s not ridiculous at all. Accept it and finally kiss me.” I moved an inch closer, too. I had the warming fire behind me and felt his body heat radiating against my face. Like my old self, I would have probably been crazy nervous in this situation. All my self-confidence would have escaped a long time ago. However, now it felt so right that this seemed the most natural way to proceed. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally closed the last interval that was still between us and kissed me. I mean, REALLY kissed me. He gently pushed forward, never leaving my lips, so that I backed down until I lay on the camping blanket. His mouth wandered along my jaw bone up to my ear, where he nibbled on my earlobe. Then he continued kissing me down my neck, and I felt like I was going insane.
“It’s not just your hair. It’s all of you. You smell so good.” He breathed against my neck. His free hand started wandering up the side of my body as his mouth wandered lower to my collar bone. And even lower down to the small bow that was in the middle of my bra.
“Too many layers.” He said, and his hands moved below my shirt. I tried to sit up a little to help him get it off. He let go of a short breath and stared at me for a moment.
“You are so beautiful, it’s just not fair.”
