by S. L. Giger
Luckily, he used the same tent we slept in, and it wasn’t far from his father’s house. By the time I had found him, I was too upset to think straight. I just walked up to the tent and found him sitting in a chair in front of it, his face turned to the sky with his eyes closed.
“What do you think you are doing?” I asked not hiding my anger and confusion.
He opened his eyes, startled.
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you found me, should I? There probably is no way in hiding from you.” He looked at me almost with an empty expression. That look made my heart freeze all over again. Where was all this love and desire with which he had looked at me before? I couldn’t detect any of it.
“How do you mean that?” I stuttered.
“Exactly what I said.” He sighed. “What’s the point now in hiding? You’d find out sooner or later anyway.” He breathed out. “I know who you are. I know everything about you and that family of yours.”
“What do you mean?” I played dumb, but at the same time, I thought feverishly how he could have found out.
He hesitated for a moment.
“You are Sirens. I don’t know how Luke fits into the picture because from what I’ve read, there are only females in that group. But your parents both have that same unreachable beauty about them, which you have too. And with you, I am certain that you are a Siren.”
I stared at him in shock with my eyes wide open. So, he continued.
“You don’t even have to confirm it; I collected enough clues. Not that it matters anymore anyway.” He exhaled sharply. “When I first found you, I was really excited. I couldn’t believe my luck. For months, I had been trying to find proof that would support my theory. Or that I’d find an actual hint toward a new medical breakthrough. I wasn’t completely honest with you what my project was really about.” He apologetically raised his shoulders. “I wanted to show that it’s possible to freeze certain cells in your body. Bad cells, like from cancer or cells that make you age quicker. At the same time, the rest of your cells still functions and you can live a normal life or even a longer life. Yet, my professors thought that my work had a weak point. Which is that I based my theory on mystical characters, such as vampires or Sirens. We all know the stories. They are forever young, have special powers and are beautiful. I believed, that with all the newspaper articles about unsolved mysteries where whole villages were slain by beasts, stories about mysterious people or whole families disappearing, there had to be some truth in it. It can’t be that all over the world, the same stories were invented. They couldn't have exchanged it via the internet or telephone.”
I felt sicker with every word he said. I had to sit down on a big rock, as he continued.
“It was a big shot. Nobody believed me and at first, my professors didn’t want to let me write it, but I stayed insistent. Nobody has ever gotten anywhere or invented anything by giving up. But so, you see, I had to find some kind of proof. Otherwise, my paper would have been regarded as a fictional story not pleasing the academic standard. And the night of my car accident I was the closest ever to giving up. I felt like there was so much proof around me and yet, I would never be able to actually prove something. It would all stay fiction, and I would be completely ridiculed. Plus, I’d have to abandon my paper and all my hours of research work. But then, I found you. Or rather, you found me.” He hesitated a moment. “Where every normal person should have lost an arm or be dripping in blood, not a single drop of blood appeared on your arm. I thought my shocked mind was playing tricks on me. Despite that, I had to stay on it. I had to find you and find out more about you. He paused, which gave me some time to process the information he’d just given me.
“Oh, my God! So, you were not actually interested in me at all you used me as a project and now that you’re done you can drop me?” I was disgusted, hurt, and embarrassed all at the same time. An involuntary tear escaped my eye. I saw our relationship crumble. I was convinced that it was stable, that we had something wonderful. But now he was telling me that it was all a big bluff from his side.
I don’t know whether he enjoyed seeing my pain because he went on. “Once I found you, I wanted to see what was actually true from the myths and whether I could find anything interesting medical wise. That’s why I tried to keep our relationship so distant. Believe me, it was hard for me, to resist you.”
I gasped for air.
“The only thing, though, I ever could compare was a hair that got caught in the guitar strap. You never seemed to lose any skin or fingernails or anything else. But there were other things that enhanced my suspicion. Your accent, which is very cute and seductive by the way, and overall, you radiate a strong attraction to all the men around you. I see the way they turn their heads at you when you walk past them. Furthermore, there is hardly anything I know about your past; you wouldn’t want to present me to your parents and so on. I don’t even know whether anything of what you have told me is true at all. However, I’m pretty sure you don’t actually study in the city. I haven’t found your name on any of the websites.”
“You are crazy. I should call the hospital. I have simply a very reluctant personality. I don’t trust people easily, and now again, I’m reminded why.”
He swallowed and then continued: “Then why doesn’t your arm heal? You are still wearing that splint. Which I’m really sorry about. My theory is that you aren’t aging. Nothing in your body is… Plus, you don’t eat,” he exclaimed. “You were always so uninterested in food and threw a lot of it away, and then that weird thing you did at the Chinese restaurant.”
I was shocked at how many things he found out about me, but I didn’t want him to see that.
“And why on earth did you come to the conclusion that this makes me a, what did you call it, a Siren?”
“You’re not a vampire because you don’t care at all about whether the sun is shining on you. But since that would be a little far-fetched, I also kept an eye on the mysterious deaths in North East America. It’s good to have access to the hospital labs as a bio student. There weren’t any with weird bite marks or without blood in their bodies. There are some others where the cause of death is not clear. But there is one small group, where the heart shrank to a dried plum and all the vessels as well. Thinking about mystical creatures in the back of my head, soon a bell rang. There was one beautiful female creature who hunted hearts. I had to be correct. This attraction which radiates from you can’t be human. I’m very affected by it as well.”
I only shook my head.
“To measure whether you were eating or not, I did another test.”
“Wow, I really was your Guinea pig.” I glared at him. “Well, what did you do, since you think to have me all figured out?”
“Actually, no, it doesn’t matter.”
“No, seriously, if you check something on or about me, I should at least be allowed to know what it is.”
He almost blushed.
“Remember when I was feeling ill after the sandwich lunch we had about two weeks ago?” He asked contritely.
I nodded slowly.
“You’re not going to like this at all,” he sighed.
“I do not like any of this, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“I put a strong laxative into both our sandwiches. If you had eaten even one bite of it, you should have felt some kind of rumbling in your stomach. But you were fine. Hence, you didn’t eat, as I suspected so many times before.”
“You purposely wanted to poison me? And I trusted you and thought you loved me.” I smashed these words at him.
“Not poison. It would only have lasted until your stomach was empty. And because I felt bad about it, I put the same amount on my sandwich too and see, in the end, it was only me who suffered.” He looked at me with huge eyes, almost fearful.
As if that made it better.
“I’m just never very hungry. I have so many allergies that eating is no fun for me. I only eat when my body tells m
e that it’s really necessary.” I shook my head. “I can’t believe you did all this. That all this was a lie.” I felt the anger rise in me. “Why did you have to pretend so many feelings if I was a simple project?” Then I added: “If indeed I should be who you are saying. It sounds extremely ridiculous.”
“If you saw your eyes, you wouldn’t think that it was so ridiculous. I’ve never seen you like that. You look as if you are one second away from killing me.” He gulped. “Which I’m sure you could do in an instant if you wanted to.”
Damned, I lost my composure. I tried to breathe and calm myself, which was impossible with the emotional hurricane that was going on inside me.
“If I don’t kill you, I’m sure others will. This isn’t a joke, Alex; you have no idea what you are dealing with.”
“Yeah, maybe I don’t, but at least I have a small idea. Plus, from the beginning and even still now, I thought that this was amazing. That you exist.”
I didn’t listen. “And to turn me into a project. Into a guinea pig. Don’t you see that now, everybody will want to know more about us? They will throw us in cages or labs like rats or we will gain publicity and reporters will hunt us. We might fight back, and it will be messy. We won’t be able to have a normal life anymore. This is above my power. I have to tell somebody, and then I don’t know what happens to you and the people you have told.” I pressed my hands against my head.
“So far, I haven’t told anybody.” He sighed.
“What about your project? I bet you have it all documented very detailed and that’s with your professors now.”
Silence.
“I didn’t hand it in. The only copies are on my laptop and USB stick. I wanted to go through with it and show it to the public. I finished it; I was done a whole week before the deadline. But then, I started to think about what that would mean for you. And for us. I knew I couldn’t see you anymore after that but either way, I knew it was wrong to reveal all I knew about you.” His voice grew weaker. “Now, I’m the joke of my professors. They are disappointed that I wasted their time or laugh because they didn’t expect differently. I won’t get any money toward the next tuition and therefore, I don’t know how I can go on with my studies. Neither do I have the energy at the moment. And I don’t have you.” He added quietly in the end. “I gave it all and I pretty much lost everything.”
“So did I,” I pressed through my teeth. I was very angry and hurt. “I can’t handle this now. I don’t know what to do. Just don’t tell anybody.”
“What are you going to do now?” He asked
“I don’t know. I have to go.” I turned on my heel and darted away.
Chapter 26
I thought about leaving a note for Melissa and Luke. They would know what to do. But I didn’t know what to write. Alex was a TRAITOR? He USED me? So, I wrote nothing and ran out into the blue. I crossed the Atlantic and its waves with my home as an aim. It was the middle of the night when I arrived, and the house looked quiet. I saw my horrible reflection in the dark window and decided that I didn’t want to cross the path of a human in that state. I ran on. Across fields and through the cities of Eastern Europe. Into Turkey and down to Saudi Arabia, across deserts, to suddenly reach the ocean again. This was the longest I ever ran without a pause, but it was as if I couldn’t stop. I rather wanted to reach the feeling of complete exhaustion instead of this pain.
I finally saw the West Coast of Australia approaching. It was late morning here. I dropped to my knees on a lonely beach and started crying. I had liked my new life. It didn’t even take me a whole year to mess everything up. I don’t know how many hours I just sat there. I was starting to get too hot, so I stripped off my clothes and jumped into the ocean in my underwear. It’s amazing how you can find a place on this overcrowded planet, where you are completely and utterly alone.
I dove into the blue and screamed under water until the last bit of air was out of my lungs. Then, I floated there for what felt like an eternity until I realized that I wasn’t a mermaid after all and had to come up for air. I gasped and splashed water around while trying to stay above the waves. The cool water felt great against my flushed face. Now I couldn’t tell anymore what were tears and what was sea salt.
I swam back to the beach and dried off for a while. Then I put my clothes back on and, like a nomad, I felt the urge to move on. After Australia, there was another long stretch of water ahead of me. I ran past a group of whales that was gliding along the surface. This would have been a magical experience but it reminded me of the whale watch experience with Alex. Yet, the constant sea breeze was just what my sad and sore body needed. Eventually, I made it to South America. I tried to avoid high mountains and therefore went along the coast Chili, Peru and Ecuador. I knew I was back in North America when there suddenly were six or more car lanes next to me again. Sometimes, I ran on the curbs of the highways but mostly, I tried to run through farmland. The closer I approached the Northeast the wearier I felt. Nothing had resolved or changed in the last thirty-one hours except that Phileas Fogg would have been jealous.
I still didn’t know what to do, when I slowly dragged myself along the road to our house. When I passed Rey’s place, he came out on the road and beckoned me inside.
“Nathalie, what happened to you?”
My clothes were completely stained, and my hair was very messy.
“Come in for a cup of tea.”
I was exhausted and followed like a zombie.
“You look a bit rattled,” Rey observed while putting on a kettle. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
“Have you ever been betrayed in a most awful way by someone you put your faith and trust in?”
“Well, you know, I trusted these doctors who should have treated my wife.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” I exhaled and stared at the wall.
“Is there anything I can do for you?” He placed a steaming cup of tea in front of me.
I shook my head. “I don’t think so.” I swallowed. Compared to his pain about his wife, my problem at least had not already lasted over a decade. But it might turn into this. Who knew, perhaps Alex was already dead. Killed by the Orbiters. I might have to answer for my carelessness, too.
“I should go home.” I got up without ever touching the tea. “Thank you. This kind of brought me back to earth a little.”
“Any time.”
I gave a weak smile and trotted the remaining steps to our house. Cathy was there.
“Finally, here you are! Why haven’t you answered your phone? Everybody has been going insane around here. You should have called.” She said vigorously and dialed a number on her phone.
“Melissa? She is here. Yes. Ok.” She hung up and dialed another number while giving me a studying look. Then, she had the same short conversation with Roisin.
I hadn’t brought my phone. I slumped down on the couch while everybody else arrived back at the house. With everybody, I mean Melissa, Luke, and Roisin.
“Don’t ever do that again! The whole world is a big place to look for somebody. After we found Alex and talked to him, we knew something was wrong and that you might be doing something irrational.” Melissa scolded, gave me a short hug, and then stepped away again. Luke put his arm around her shoulder.
“You talked to Alex?” I was horrified.
“Yes. You scared us.” Luke said.
“I’m sorry.” I meant it. “So, what has he told you?” I quickly said.
“Everything, I think. When the three of us showed up, he didn’t look so courageous. He gave me all the information he had collected, including his laptop and USB stick. Now we should have everything he knows about us.”
“So, you know everything,” I repeated rueful. “What are you going to do now?” I asked.
They all looked from one to another.
“We haven’t discussed that yet.” Roisin said, “but I don’t think it’s necessary to inform anyone else.”
“I agree,” Cathy said, and we all looked at her in surprise. “By not handing the paper in he has proven that he can decide what is smart and what not. We should accredit him that. Although the way he pulled that whole thing through is not exactly a gentleman like way.”
“But will he be able to keep that secret his whole life?” Luke asked.
“We’ll have to watch him,” Roisin said.
“I just can’t believe it.” I shook my head.
“Don’t look so gloomy,” Melissa said. “We didn’t guess anything either when we met him. He was smart and careful enough in what he was doing and so far, not even the Orbiters have interfered.”
“But they could.” I pressed my palm to my forehead. “Gosh, what will they do to him? He is not my favorite person right now, but I love him.” My shoulders sagged. “Even if he doesn’t love me and this was only a project for him, he needs to be safe. He didn’t know what he was getting himself into.”
“He’s only one simple human. It would be the easiest if they killed him and let it look like an accident”, Melissa said.
“That’s why I’m saying that we should take turns in keeping an eye on him,” Roisin suggested. “And every minute we waste with talking here, something could happen to him.”
“I really don’t want to face him right now.” I shook my head.
“Well, I’m going to look for him then.” Roisin disappeared.
“I wished I could erase my feelings for him. Since I talk to him, I can feel pain in every single fiber of my body.”
“Wouldn’t erasing be practical?” Cathy said. “Yet, sometimes only pain makes us realize how much worth something had or how important it was to us. If your feelings are so strong and there is something you could do toward them instead of blocking them out, perhaps you should do it.” She suggested.
