by Karen Jonson
This odd and obsessive reaction to something so mundane was the norm, not the exception, in the life of the JKP masters. Devotees believed that everything was done for the gurus, that our relationships with them were primary, and that even if they were not thinking about us, we should be thinking about them. This is exactly how the subordinate party in a master-slave relationship is conditioned to think.
I knew nothing about BDSM until I left the cult. In one of those online surfing experiences where you start clicking on links and wind up on some completely unexpected website. I ended up on a page where a woman was describing her BDSM relationship as a “slave” to a “master.” The more I read, the more I realized that it sounded like the relationships between JKP devotees and the gurus—who are even called “masters.”
In BDSM relationships, slaves worship their masters, surrender to them, and submissively do exactly as they are told with no questions asked. So was the case within JKP.
There is a book in the BDSM community called SlaveCraft, written by “a grateful slave.” It clarified the psychology of this lifestyle. The book details what it means to be a good submissive slave and serve a dominant master. Several passages—especially those on the concepts of surrendering to the master, serving the master, and remaining humble around the master—sound incredibly similar to concepts Kripalu and Prakash spoke and wrote about.
“To become a slave and remain blissfully happy in slavery, one must be able to replace one’s desire for pleasures that are independent of the Master’s will. This means that when our desires come into conflict with whatever the Master wants, it is always the Master’s will that prevails. This means giving up emotional investment in what I might want for myself.”
“Obedience can become much more than just following orders when a slave comes to understand that a Master’s order is an opportunity to demonstrate to Him the sincerity of the slave’s craving for surrender: that it is his privilege to bring the Master pleasure by obedience. In submission to his Master’s will is the slave’s only hope for finding true bliss. Each order is his chance to show gratitude for His attention, and the slave’s respect and/or love for Him at that moment.”
“As our slaving conditions begin to fall away and our surrender deepens, the feeling of being connected to our Master expands. Once it has expanded sufficiently, slaves fall in love with the Master - we cannot do otherwise - it just happens. At that point, the Master becomes our lifeline and our dependence on Him becomes manifest. By then, we have placed our lives in His hands many times and we get to a place in our heads where we long to deny Him nothing - nothing at all.”
Even when Dr. Gordon Warme, author of Daggers of the Mind, visited Kripalu’s ashram in Mangarh for a few days as part of his research on different cultures’ healing methods, he picked up on the sadomasochistic relationship Kripalu has with his followers. Regarding his first meeting with Kripalu, Dr. Warme wrote:
“He’d sized me up and instantly realized I was no devotee. The people surrounding us looked puzzled, probably because visitors were usually awed and submissive, my polite conversation probably looked irreverent. During my few days in the ashram, the Maharaji didn’t pester me as he did the others. He nagged his devotees to take notes when he lectured, to carry their books, sometimes to come forward and dance. From the luxury of his thrones, he lectured twice a day, every word and gesture recorded by two cameras.”
Regarding the blind-faith submission of the devotees to the guru’s will, Dr. Warme wrote:
“I could see right away that the Maharaji’s followers wished to make themselves - their souls - utterly subservient to him. Later, the devotees’ thoroughgoing denial of their own interests - really a denial of their existence - became clearer… I suddenly grasped that their self-cure was to have no soul at all, to shadow, ape, and adapt themselves to the contrasting soul of the guru, which was alive, vivacious, throbbing.”
“The guru lives on behalf of his devotees. He parties, has a sex life, feasts, is married, and has children. They live vicariously. I watched the Maharaji go into a trance, peace and bliss in his face. And then, to my amazement, he had or mimed an orgasm: heavy breathing, glowing perspiration, pelvic thrusting. And bliss on his face. A few months later, in Toronto, I told my thoughts about the orgasm to Linda. ‘He was having an orgasm or pretending to have an orgasm. Do you devotees not see that?’ ‘Well, of course, he was having an orgasm,’ she answered. ‘We live though him and he has to have orgasms on our behalf.”
Of the devotees, he observed:
“The Maharaji is the cure. The devotees have given up their souls and are reborn in him, like those reborn in Christ. But the devotees do it with a vengeance. In Canada, those who are serious about their faith know when the Maharaji has his daily bowel movement; they have theirs at the same time. He eats; they, thousands of kilometers, and twelve time zones away, eat. He prays; they pray. The devotees are examples of the cure by rebirth of the soul - but in this instance, reborn in their leader, not in themselves.”
I’m sure most JKP devotees don’t think they are in sadomasochistic relationships with the gurus; but then they wouldn’t, because as some cult researchers point out, cult relationships are so restrictive and controlling they promote a kind of psychopathology that blinds people to the truth.
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Are You Cult Proof?
How to Steer Clear of Fake Gurus and Other Con Games
NOW THAT I’M FINALLY OUT of the cult—body, mind, and soul—I know that I am finally cult-proof.
About a year after I left the JKP cult, I had a dream in which I angrily confronted Prakash, shaking with rage as I yelled in his face: “What the hell do you think you were doing?”
His response cut right to the heart of matter: “I only told you what you wanted to hear.’”
I knew this was my inner wisdom speaking to me—and warning me to be on alert. To watch out for false prophets bearing gifts: Especially gifts of what you think you are looking for. In my case, I was looking for the way to God. I thought I needed to receive a divine message that would allow my soul to snip the rope tieing me to the material world, so that I could ascend to the divine world and dwell with God forever. This is what everyone in this cult wanted. And this is exactly what the fake gurus promised. They told us exactly what we wanted to hear. Another big part of the con was people’s desire to want to be taken care of. As somone once said, they want a “sky-daddy or sky-mommy” to take care of them.
If I’ve learned anything from this experience, it’s how to spot a con. It’s easy once you know what to look for. You have to be on your guard and question everything. What’s more, if you think you’ve found someone bearing the answers to your prayers, you must demand legitimate, verifiable proof that they are who they say they are and that they can provide what they are promising. If you do this, you will quickly spot a con, because a conman or woman will fail the tests.
On my way to processing the fact that I was conned, I read many great books. These really helped me see the truth of the matter. They also taught me that I am not the first to be conned by a cult and, sadly, I won’t be the last. One of the books that helped me is Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias. It points out the common socio-structural, socio-psychological, and interpersonal behavioural patterns commonly found in cultic environments.
For example, an unquestioning commitment to a leader is a huge red flag. If you come across this situation, just turn around and run! No one has all the answers—and if they say they do, they are lying. In this case, if you request verifiable proof, you will be rebuffed. Proof is never given in controlling organizations. Also along these lines, watch out if the group claims the leader is a messiah, avatar, or God incarnate, and if he or she is not accountable to anyone.
Other troublesome indicators, according to the authors, are mind-altering practices, like excessive and routinized meditation and chanting; a preoccupation with attracti
ng new people and collecting money; regular dictates from the leader prescribing what to wear, how to raise children, or participate in unethical behavior; and a polarizing us-versus-them mentality. Other warning signs the authors share include these:
• The leadership induces feelings of shame or guilt in order to influence or control members.
• Subservience to the leader or group requires members to cut ties with family and friends, and radically alter their personal goals.
• The most loyal members (the ‘true believers’) feel there can be no life outside the context of the group.
I also gained great insight and clarity from a list of the eight criteria for mind control from the book, Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism, by Robert Jay Lifton, which explains the psychology of cultic manipulation. It provides clear insight on what to watch out for such as this point:
Mystical Manipulation. The manipulation of experiences that appears spontaneous but is, in fact, planned and orchestrated by the group or its leaders in order to demonstrate divine authority, spiritual advancement, or some exceptional talent or insight that sets the leader or group apart from humanity, and that allows reinterpretation of historical events, scripture, and other experiences.
I had certainly experienced this—in spades! My fake gurus easily manipulated their group of followers. Looking back, I realize how easy it was. They could say ANY illogical thing and the people would just nod their heads and belief. No one seemed to question anything. I imagine the gurus thinking: “You stupid cows. I can tell you anything and you’ll fall for it.” Kripalu was in the habit of calling people donkey’s using the derogatory Hindi word for “ass.” People thought it was endearing. But I don’t think so. I think it was one of the few times he was being honest.
Other warning signs of a controlling group, according to the authors are impossible demands for perfection (such as being perfect before you can be divinized); forcing members to confess their sins; creating unique verbage to describe the leader’s singular world view; and a tendancy to say that the outside world is wrong and the group is right.
I also like the “Checklist of 20 Ways to Resist Unwanted Social Influence,” by Philip Zimbardo, Ph.D., and Susan Andersen, Ph.D., in the book Understanding Mind Control. They provide a proactive way to gauge the brainwashing and mind-control tactics of any suspicious organization. Here are a few of their tips for testing the veracity of anyone or any organization:
1. Insist on an understandable explanation, without double speak.
2. Remember there is no such thing as instant, unconditional love from strangers.
3. Avoid ‘total situations’ that are unfamiliar and in which you have little control and freedom.
4. Greed and ego-flattering will get mind control manipulators and con agents far, but only if you allow yourself to be seduced.
As I said at the beginning of this chapter, I will never again be conned. But it saddens me to know that there are still many people who will be. Because as long as there are gullible people who don’t question authority figures—and through intimiation, fear, or an all-consuming desire to buy what the scam artists are selling—there will always be conmen and women preying on the weak. Like many problems of our age, true change in the area of cult control can only happen when the people supporting the con games make the firm decision to say ‘no’ and walk away. And hopefully they reach out and take a few others with them.
My utmost desire is that this book made you, like me, cult-proof. And I hope you’ll share this with family and friends, especially if you are ever afraid that being conned is a real possibility for someone you care about. Making the decision to remain cult-free is an empowering action that will truly set you free! It’s a superpower.
Your God-given inner wisdom is your true guru: Honor it, listen to it, and let it lead your beautiful life.
EPILOGUE
Life After the Gurus
My Next Chapter
IT’S COMMON PRACTICE TO TRY to find the upside of any traumatic event. The lesson. The point. The silver lining. But in the first couple of years after I left the cult, I couldn’t see any goodness in my experience. I only felt robbed—of my money, my time, and my life.
Two years after I left, I was having lunch with a woman who would become my life coach.
“What is the main thing you learned during your fifteen years in the ashram?” she asked.
I thought about it for a moment and said, “I learned to cook really delicious Indian food.”
Her eyes widened and she burst out laughing. “I thought you would tell me about some profound spiritual revelations.”
In fact, the profound spiritual lessons I thought I was learning in the ashram were, in reality, just the twisted ruminations of two fake gurus hell-bent on glorifying themselves and satisfying their worldly desires. How could anything they taught translate into deep and meaningful spiritual lessons? I could not credit them for anything “good” that came out of my years in their cult.
However, if I remove them from the equation and think about God and his or her plan for me, I can say this: That if you long for God realization to such an extent that you are willing to give up everything else in the world, including the love of another human being, it could mean that God will choose you for a purpose that you never saw coming—and for which you might not have accepted if you had known what it ultimately meant for your life. If, in fact, God did make use of my dedication to finding him or her, I think it was for this purpose: To use me as a witness to live the horror of this fake spiritual enterprise so that I could one day write this book and expose the truth as a warning to others.
It is a heavy burden and, if I am entirely honest, my years with these gurus is an experience I regret—one I would take back if there were such a thing as an “undo” button in life. There is no way around the fact that my blind faith robbed me of fifteen years of my life. Instead of “surrendering” to these men’s twisted worldview, I should have been living, loving, and experiencing this world—as, I now believe, God intends us all to do.
Many people ask some version of the question: How did you not realize that this place was a cult for fifteen years? It’s a tough question to hear and to answer. But I finally found the best answer for me. When I joined the cult, I was quite depressed. I had lost my entire family and was divorced from one man and not in love with the man I agreed to marry. A therapist once showed me a chart that illustrated how much depression can narrow a person’s vision. At the most depressed level, our vision is at about ten percent of normal, which leaves at risk for ignoring important details that help us avoid certain danger signs. This is what happened to me.
But at least I finally got out. Many poor souls have had their vision impaired permanently and will die in the cult. The primary goal of my wonderful new life now is to live as fully as possible, experience as much as possible, and enjoy the world as much as I can. The one thing I know for sure is that God did not put us on this Earth to renounce the world’s miracles, beauty, or bounty, but to live, laugh, love, and enjoy, and to understand that we are already divine. We are just having an earthly experience of God’s divinity.
For the rest of my life, I will have relationships with men, eat whatever I want, enjoy the theater and the arts, revel in the natural beauty of this world, embrace the mysteries of life, read good books, write more books, and be good to people. Instead of a God “out there somewhere,” I have found God within me. In my years outside of the cult, I have discovered my innate inner wisdom, which I always possessed, but didn’t recognize. And that inner wisdom contains the higher power that I’ve been seeking all along. This is my religion now.
Oh, and one more thing. Along with gaining crystal clear clarity on the purpose of my life, I also learned to cook delicious Indian food! When I moved to the ashram, I was a mediocre cook. But, inspired by the Indian ladies who would cook traditional Indian homecooking in our kitchen and the desire to give the devotees (who mostly had litt
le enjoyment in their lives) at least one great meal a week, I learned to cook extremely delicious food. I learned by informally apprenticing with the visiting Indian ladies—learning how to prepare spices, how to layer them throughout the cooking process, and how to make every dish pop with flavor.
I loved the fact that devotees in the ashram looked forward to my meals—because I looked forward to preparing them. It was the one bright spot in an often dull existence. I became so adept at cooking, that I ended up creating many of my own versions of traditional Indian dishes. My goal was to make every dish the best it could possibly be. I know I succeeded, because many times visiting Indians would ask me for my recipes for dishes that I’m sure they cooked at home, like pau bhaji, peas and paneer, sambar, and fried rice. And, of course, as I mentioned in earlier chapters of this book, I also become the ashram’s main baker—a skill I did not possess before living there.
When I left the ashram, I made sure I took all of my recipes with me. I have compiled them into a book with the subtitle My Silver Lining Cookbook—because learning to be an excellent cook was a wonderful gift to take away from such a bad experience.
I will be publishing this book, called Curry and Cupcakes—My Silver Lining Cookbook, in late 2015, so please look for it.
Follow the Story
It’s Not Over Yet
THE STORY OF MY TWO FAKE EX-GURUS abusing innocent people is not over.
Kripalu died in November of 2013. However, the crimes of Jagadguru Kripalu Parishat have not ended with his death. Thought he has finally been stopped from harming people directly due to his own demise, I feel certain abuse continues within JKP. For one thing there are Kripalu’s family members to consider, including, but not limited to, his three daughters — Vishakha Tripathi, Shyama Tripathi, and Krishna Tripathi. The “didis,” as they are called, inherited the organization and are named as the primary holders of the “complicated network of India-based trusts.” What’s more, they have learned everything about running JKP directly from their father. Then there are all of the men in the family who are treated as gods—and now we know that’s never a good sign. Stay far away from them, because I have heard that each and every one of the men in the upper echlon are continuing Kripalu’s secret sex factory legacy.
