There was a knock on my door.
“Claire?” It was Mom.
“Yeah?” I jumped to my feet as she peeked in through the door.
“Addie called. She said you weren’t answering your phone.”
“Oh, sorry. It must be off. What does she want?”
“She says she has to come over and borrow a book or something.”
Shoot! It better be sooner and not later. “Okay. Thanks, Mom.”
“I’m leaving now, okay?” she said.
“Where?”
“To the movie, remember?”
I’d blocked out most of what she was saying at dinner while Daniel was making faces at me. “Oh, yeah, right. Who are you going with again?”
“Dad. I told you already.”
“Dad? He’s actually going to a movie with you? Wow, it must be a slow day at the office.”
I guess she didn’t think that was very amusing because she just stood there staring at me with those deep creases she gets between her eyebrows when she’s annoyed.
“You’re not going anywhere, are you?” she finally said.
“No, I’m a slave to my homework tonight.”
“So dramatic.”
“’Night, Mom.”
But instead of leaving, she remained in the doorway for a couple of seconds, and then suddenly stepped in a little further. Great. When I looked around for backup, Daniel had disappeared again. Why did he keep popping in and out like that? It was making me nervous.
Mom was now sitting on my bed, making herself comfy. Oh no.
“Are you going to be okay, Claire?”
Was she serious?
“Mom, it’s just a couple hours. I’m sixteen.”
“I don’t mean tonight,” she said. “I mean, generally.”
The lecture. I hadn’t even seen it coming. She had ambushed me when I was weak with Daniel on the mind.
“I just can’t stand to see you so alone all the time,” she said, her voice cracking a little. “It’s been over four months, Claire. I think it’s time to move on.”
I took a deep breath and walked to the opposite side of the bed. “Everyone wants me to pretend that Daniel never died. I can’t do that, Mom. It isn’t magic.”
“How does Addie do it then?” she asked, all flustered. “He was her brother, not yours.”
Ouch.
I didn’t want to look at her anymore, afraid of crying or screaming or admitting I loved Daniel, and that I always had. I held my breath and fell backward on the bed, hugging a pillow like it was my life preserver.
“Claire…I’m sorry. I just watch how Addie and Matthew–”
Oh no. I threw the pillow against the wall and pulled off my glasses, wiping the tears that were starting to form. “Matthew? You want me to be like Matthew? Mom, do you have any idea what you are saying?” She looked offended, like I’d slapped her. “Matthew is gone, Mom!”
“Well, of course he is gone. He’s at college.”
“No. That’s not what I mean. Just because Addie has a social life and Matthew isn’t around for you to check up on all the time doesn’t mean either of them are doing any better than me,” I said, standing. “If you ask me, I’m the sane one. I’m the only one who still believes Daniel is out there…that he’s not…not…oh, never mind. You just need to let me deal how I need to deal and quit bugging me about it.”
Of course she just sat there and stared, probably wondering where she had gone wrong. When the silence lasted too long, she stood and glanced at her watch. “I have to go, or I’ll be late.”
“Have fun,” I mumbled without looking up.
She walked out the door. A couple of tears sat at the edge of my eyes as her footsteps faded down the hall, and for the first time ever I turned to my homework for relief.
CHAPTER NINE
RAIN
Claire
It took me over an hour to do five problems. FIVE! When finished, I leaned forward, rubbing my temples, feeling like I’d just run a marathon. The house was too quiet. I looked around the room. Daniel had not reappeared yet, and Addie was still a no-show. I should have probably called her, but didn’t feel like risking a thirty-minute conversation.
“Daniel?” I whispered, wondering why. It wasn’t like he’d be hiding under the bed or inside the closet, or anything. Still, where did he go this time?
As I was putting away my homework, the doorbell finally rang. I opened the door to find Addie huddled inside the porch overhang, drenched from the rain.
“Why didn’t you drive, or at least bring an umbrella?” I asked, letting her in.
“I couldn’t find one that worked, and Mom took my car to the store because hers is in the shop, and I didn’t want to wait for her to get back because I have to borrow your Spanish book, I forgot mine at school, and…” she took a giant breath as I closed the door behind her. “That entire worksheet is due tomorrow but I’m only halfway done, and I’m borderline B+ in Spanish. Who wants a B+?”
Me. “You know you’re totally dripping water all over the place, Addie.”
I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and sopped up her footprints leading down the hall. By the time I caught up to her, she was already changing out of her wet clothes and rummaging through my closet for a dry outfit.
I looked at the clock. 9:47. Fifteen minutes, give or take. It was possible. But with Addie…
“So, you do have your Spanish book, right?” she asked.
“Yes, it’s over here. Just a minute.” I pulled it from my bag and handed it to her. “Just give it back tomorrow morning on the way to school.”
“You’re all done?” she asked accusingly, a mixture of shock and jealousy.
“Yes. But you probably don’t want to copy me,” I said, joking.
“Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on it,” she answered, completely missing my joke while flinging her hair around and ringing it out on my floor. Nice. “I really need to start on this, Claire. Do you think you can give me a ride home? I know it’s like only four houses away, but I don’t want to get all wet again.”
“Sure, of course. Now that you’re in my clothes.”
“Funny.” She rolled her eyes—a special talent of hers.
When I looked around for Mom’s keys that were supposed to be on the kitchen counter, I remembered she and her car were at a movie. We were stranded.
“Sorry, Ads,” I apologized, empty-handed. “I totally forgot my parents went to a movie.”
“With both cars? Great.” She walked to the front door, like it was my fault she hadn’t planned ahead.
I was starting to get antsy. If she didn’t leave here pretty quickly, I would miss my chance with Daniel. “Hey, it’s only sprinkling now, Addie. I’ll get you an umbrella.” I stepped outside onto the porch.
“No.” She followed me out the door and collapsed into the bench like she had given up. “I’ll just sit here and wait until the rain stops.”
But the rain didn’t stop. It started pouring again, and my patience was dwindling.
“Addie, maybe you should just go right now. You can run super fast–”
“No. I don’t want to get wet again,” she said, flipping through the book. That was when I figured out Addie’s stubbornness was more about getting her way than keeping dry, and there was nothing I could do about it.
The clock was ticking away. Frantically, my mind searched for a solution, for anythingexcept violence or humiliation to get Addie to leave before my precious four and a half minutes rolled by. Convinced she was being stubborn just to bug me, I placed my glasses on the bench, grabbed the book out of her hands, and ran down the steps out into the rain.
“What the…Claire! What are you doing?”
“I’ll race you!” I yelled, taunting her. There were definitely advantages to having an over-achiever for a best friend.
“What? I don’t want to race you!” She stood with her hands on her hips—her famous pose. “Not in the rain!”
“Come on
! Just you and me, Addie, and I bet you lose.”
The rain had already started separating my hair into a stringy mess, but the water seemed to wake me up, making me feel a little bit daring. I soaked it all in. Addie stood and leaned against the railing as I egged her on. She seemed genuinely shocked when I turned and took off down the dark road without her.
Thanks to a few scattered lamplights, the street wasn’t entirely dark, but I was glad to hear Addie coming up behind me so I could follow her lead. She made sure to thoroughly splash me as she passed, and then sprinted the rest of the way. Feigning exhaustion, I slowed to a jog until I reached her driveway.
She stood at the top of the steps, smiling down at me. “You really need to get in shape, Claire.”
“Wow,” I praised, handing her my book. “I didn’t know you had it in you. I’m very impressed.”
“Why? You never even had a chance.”
Exactly.
“See you in the morning,” I said, heading back to my house.
“Thanks. I’ll probably be up all night. I have a chem test tomorrow, too.”
I spun around. “Please don’t wake me up with a frantic phone call at two a.m., okay?”
Addie shut the door behind her as I jogged back up the street, toward my house. At the halfway point, I slowed to a stop and stared up at the random droplets floating down, sparkling in the lamplight. They looked like falling stars trickling into my face, and for a second I forgot about everything—even Daniel.
Lightning illuminated the lake, followed by the reverberating echo of thunder. I paused for a second, trying to anticipate the next one. But when I turned back to the road, Daniel was there in front of me. I jerked backward and let out a little scream. “Daniel!”
His laugh was silent, but completely lit up his face.
“Where have you been?” I asked with a smile, wringing out my heavy hair.
He pointed up.
“What, you were in the sky?”
No.
Just not here, I said to myself, getting it. The rain picked up, but I couldn’t absorb any more water unless I turned into a sponge, so I didn’t care anymore. My underwear was soaked, yet Daniel walked beside me dirt-dry. Talk about surreal.
When something gentle touched my skin, I looked down to find his fingers gripping my arm. It was time again.
Yes.
I let him pull me to him, my own hands around his back. The rain was quickly drenching him now, too, matting his hair to his forehead, and I looked up at him in anticipation, remembering our first kiss, silently begging for more.
Instead, he took my hand and led me away from the road through the pine trees until we stopped beneath a canopy of dripping leaves overlooking the lake. He faced me, his dark eyes intense, like they were trying to speak. I held still…waiting, wondering what was next. It felt like all speech had abandoned me as the tension hovered between us. At last, his fierce, quiet lips found mine, chasing away all apprehension in a single, abbreviated second. I responded instantly, feeling myself go soft in his arms, kissing him back with an unexpected craving that gnawed at my sanity and choked out my breath.
Too soon he stopped.
Before I could protest, he kissed my cheek. Then, as if in slow motion, his lips traveled upward along the edge of my cheekbone, barely touching my skin. At my ear, his warm breath contrasted with the cool air, sending chills screaming through me as his familiar voice, calculating and smooth, whispered like it had a life of its own. “I’ve been trying to figure this out,” he said.
“What?” I asked, dreamily, still lost somewhere else.
“That thing,” he said, “You know, in your room last night?”
I shuddered.
He dropped his hands to his sides uneasily then grasped my hands again, as if he’d mistakenly let go. “It’s not a ‘thing.’ It’s a…how do I put it? It’s something, or someone just like me. Whatever I am.”
I pulled back slightly, but he pressed me back to him, and I didn’t resist.
“If he’s just like you, then why does ‘he’ look like a demented piece of string?” I asked.
“Really? That’s what he looks like to you?”
“Yes. What does he look like to you?”
“Like he’s supposed to. Like a person. The string thing is probably just your imagination,” he said, slightly patronizing.
“What?” I asked, a little annoyed. “You think I’m making it up?”
Daniel squeezed my hand. “No, no. I just think you’re not seeing the same thing I am. Maybe your imagination is getting in the way of what’s really there. At least that’s what seems to make sense.”
I thought about that for a second. “So, he’s not some weird science-fiction-looking creature?”
“Um, no. He’s just another… ghost. Like me, I guess.”
“Ghost,” I repeated. “That doesn’t seem to fit you.”
“It doesn’t? Then what am I?”
Daniel felt warm and solid and alive. There was no way he was a ghost—at least not right now. “I don’t know,” I said. “You’re YOU. You’re the same Daniel I have always known, but without a body. A ghost is something made up for scary stories.”
“Booooo,” he whispered, his breath sending chills up and down my neck as he kissed me again, obliterating my concentration. “Your boyfriend is a ghost, Claire.”
Boyfriend! He said boyfriend.
My eyes were still closed, my lips tingling when I felt him pull away. I looked up at him—to the old, carefree Daniel with the disheveled, but now soaked, hair falling into animated eyes, a pair of adorable dimples, and a look that meant either adoration or mischief.
“So, who is this ghost friend of yours?” I asked, suddenly curious, definitely anxious. “What’s his name? How did he die? What does he want? Why does he haunt me?”
Daniel seemed to suppress a bit of frustration as he inhaled. “I don’t know yet. He’s a little…unpredictable. I’m still trying to figure him out.”
“Well, figure it out,” I begged, squeezing his hands. “I can’t stand the thought of seeing it…or him again."
Daniel suddenly looked more serious, maybe even worried, which made me nervous. It seemed like he was trying to hide something; I noticed it instantly when he looked off to the side for a second before coming back to me.
“Do you know him?” I asked. “Like, are you guys friends?”
“No. No. I don’t know him at all. But he seems to know me. From before.”
“Before?”
“Before I died. He said something to me, about how I...”
“What?”
“Well…for some reason, he thinks I killed him.”
“What! You? Obviously he has you mixed up with someone else–”
“No, I don’t think so. He knew my name. Says we were both the same age when we died. Said a lot of stuff that makes it sound more…personal.”
“Did you kill him?” I asked, suddenly curious.
“No!” Daniel looked shocked I’d even asked it.
“Okay, okay. Sorry. I just wanted to make sure.”
He smiled, almost laughed, and then pulled me closer to him. I thought maybe I had snapped him out of his seriousness, even though my own mind felt stretched out and twisted like a rubber band.
“Did he tell you what he wants?” I asked. “I’m really not that interesting. Didn’t you tell him that?”
Daniel continued to smile, but remained quiet.
“What do I do if he comes again? Do you have any suggestions?”
“Not yet. You haven’t come up with anything?” he teased.
“Me? I’m still trying to get used to the idea of being able to see you, much less a ghost who’s trying to suck out my soul.”
“Suck out your—what?” Daniel laughed again.
I was starting to get self-conscious. “Never mind.” I decided to shut up.
He leaned forward until his head was level with mine, our foreheads touching. “Claire, he’s
just like me. That’s not so bad, if you can remember that.”
“Kind of like what my speech teacher told us to do when we’re nervous.”
“Sure,” he agreed quickly, then backpedaled as he stood up straight. “Wait, what?”
“He said if I get too nervous during a speech I should just imagine my audience in their underwear.” A familiar smile emerged as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me. I wanted to stay forever in his arms. Soon, I felt the touch of his fingers at my neck, and I looked up to find him drawing in close, his lips brushing my forehead, then my cheeks and lips, lingering there until he laughed. “You’re kinda funny, Claire. How come I didn’t know that before?”
I weakly nodded, balancing up on my toes, tightly grasping his neck as he kissed me again. Just as our lips parted, he whispered, “It’s about gone now.”
“What?”
“The time.”
The rain let up, as if in alliance with Daniel. I clasped his hands, holding them close to my heart while trying to remember their faint, distinctive impression.
In my ear, he whispered, “Don’t worry, Claire. I’ll keep you safe.”
Before I had a chance to answer, his touch and impression, his warmth and heartbeat, all dissolved into nothing as I stood there, seemingly alone in the rain.
Daniel
I knew someone else was there right away. The chills bombarded me as soon as my connection with Claire ended, but I waited until after accompanying her safely home before turning around to face my visitor.
“What do you want?” I asked.
The woman was hovering about fifteen feet off the ground, floating on a tree branch like it was a bench. I wondered if she thought it more intimidating this way. I guess it kind of was.
She smiled.
It was the same lady as before—the one with the crazy hair. Except this time she was wearing some sort of puffy white nightgown, which looked a little graveyard-ghost-like from some old gothic novel.
“You still following me?” I asked.
She shook her head, her lips pressed together like she was afraid to speak. But it didn’t look like she wanted to leave, either. Her eyes widened as she surveyed our surroundings, and then she drifted downward until we were face to face. Purposefully darting around me, she zigzagged through the trees as if looking for something, and then halted in front of me. With a finger to her lips, she said, “Shhhhh.”
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