And then, after lunch, it would be time to face Valerie.
Caroline ducked her head underneath the water and enjoyed the silence. The only sound in her world now was the whirring of the whirlpool.
Her ringing cell phone brought her back to the surface. That would be Robyn, telling her she’d arrived.
Twenty minutes later, dressed and clutching a cup of coffee, Caroline padded into the office. Memorabilia from Lance’s career lined the walls.
Robyn looked up from her perch in one of the oversized recliners. She set her iPhone down and smiled. “Good to see you. You look great.”
Caroline gave her a half smile. “Thanks.” She sat down at Lance’s massive desk. “Give me a rundown of everything.”
Robyn began ticking off messages and household items. She’d found a new landscaping company a couple of weeks ago after the company they’d been using had gone out of business. The garage door had been sticking again, and someone was coming out to look at it on Monday.
Once Robyn was through with her list, Caroline smiled. “Thank you for all your help. How are things with the center?”
Robyn nodded. “Going really well. Are you planning to stop by while you’re in town?”
“If at all possible. I’d like to talk to them about the possibility of expanding.”
Robyn raised her eyes. “Expanding?”
Caroline nodded. “I’ve become attached to the Lancaster area. I’d love to look into the possibility of opening one there. The part of the county I’m staying in is pretty rural, but the city of Lancaster might be a good fit for a center. I’d like to at least look into it.”
“Are you planning on staying there for a while?”
Caroline sighed. “I’m not sure. I like it there. A lot.” She waved her hand around the room. “But I’m not quite ready to sell this place yet.” She grinned. “I guess my future is kind of up in the air.”
“That’s kind of nice, though, isn’t it? Kind of exciting?”
Caroline nodded. “I’m enjoying myself right now.” She smiled. “I got a dog. His name is Bandit. And I know I’ve only been gone for a day, but I miss him.”
Robyn laughed. “I’m the same way about my cat. Can’t imagine going home and her not being there.”
After Robyn left, Caroline wandered around the house. She stopped in front of the large picture of herself that hung in the hallway. It was her bridal portrait. She peered closely at it. Were there still traces of that naive small-town girl in her today? Back then she’d thought true love conquered all, just like in the fairy tales. And now…she wasn’t sure if she even believed in true love. Could Michael make her believe again? His kisses had certainly felt as if they were true.
Only time would tell.
“Hey there,” Jenny said.
Michael turned from his computer and nodded. “Hi.” He turned back to his computer. He was trying to select some Gettysburg pictures to go along with his article. He’d use the rest for the blog and the Facebook page.
Jenny grabbed the guest chair from the corner and slid it next to Michael. “Whatcha workin’ on?” she asked.
He motioned toward the computer. “Just choosing some shots.”
“Let me see them. I can help you choose.” She bumped against his arm. “Just like old times, right?”
These kinds of situations never worked out well. His experience with women told him that. There was no way of declining her help without coming across as a jerk. But he really didn’t want to spend any more time with her than he had to. “Yeah. Old times.” He glanced at her. “But I know you have your own stuff to work on.” He grinned. “Deadlines, you know.”
She let out a tinkling laugh. “I’m all caught up. Now we just need to get your piece finished, and this one will be a wrap.”
He clicked through a few pictures. It would be tough to narrow it down. He’d taken a ton while they were at the battlefield.
“Michael,” Mr. Sinclair said over the intercom, “can you come in here for a second? The organizers of a half marathon are on the phone. I’d like you to be in here while I talk with them about ways we can help them promote their event.” He cleared his throat. “I know you’re on a deadline, but it will only take a second.”
Michael glanced at Jenny. “I’ll be right there.” He expected her to go back to her cubicle, but she stayed put. He hurried toward Mr. Sinclair’s office.
Thankfully, the conversation didn’t take long. “I’d be happy to post the information about the event on our Facebook page as well as on our Twitter feed,” he said. “And if you’ll email me a flyer, I’ll get it on the event calendar in the magazine.”
That seemed to satisfy Mr. Sinclair and the organizers. “Thanks, Michael.” Mr. Sinclair waved him out of the room as he lifted the receiver.
When Michael returned to his desk, Jenny was gone. He breathed a sigh of relief. Now he could finish his task in silence and get out of the office at a decent time. Although with Caroline in Atlanta for the weekend, it wasn’t like he had big Friday-night plans waiting for him.
Chapter Thirty-One
Caroline took a breath. This was it.
The guard led her through a door. “Right this way,” she said. “Just pick up the phone to talk to her.” The guard motioned to a spot next to the wall. “I’ll be standing there. Just signal me if you’re ready to leave before time is up.”
Caroline nodded. She tried to ignore the pounding in her head. Then she spotted Valerie, seated behind a Plexiglas wall.
Valerie smiled tentatively when she saw Caroline approaching. She was already holding onto her phone receiver.
Caroline sat down across from Valerie, trying to calm her nerves. The whole experience seemed unreal, like a bad dream. After a long moment, she reached out and picked up the phone receiver. For a split second, she wished she’d thought to bring a Lysol wipe with her but quickly pushed the thought away.
“Thank you for coming,” Valerie said quietly. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d ignored my request.”
Caroline chewed on her bottom lip. “I decided it was in my best interest to hear you out.” She met Valerie’s gaze. “I’ll be honest—I’m searching for closure at this point.”
Valerie shifted in her seat. “I would like to apologize. For everything.” Her voice broke. “I had no right to have a relationship with Lance in the first place. And then to snap like that…” She shook her head. “You have to believe me when I tell you I’m sorry.”
Caroline had practiced her speech in the car on the way over, but she couldn’t remember how it began. She gripped the phone tightly. “You were my friend.” She shook her head. “No. I thought you were my friend.” She swallowed hard. “I guess I don’t get why you were so surprised to find out there were other women besides just you.”
Valerie bit her lip. Tears threatened to spill from her dim blue eyes. “Because I was your friend, I knew that your marriage was all but over. So when Lance asked me to have dinner with him at his apartment, I said yes.”
Caroline didn’t want the details. She didn’t want to know how her friend and her husband had developed a secret relationship behind her back. But she needed to learn the truth. That way maybe she could finally be free and move on.
“I thought he loved me. He made it sound like the two of you were about to officially split up.” Valerie shook her head. “I was so stupid.”
“Yes, Valerie, you were.” Caroline kept her voice calm. “I’ve never understood why a woman would choose to get involved with a married man. Because if he’ll cheat on his wife, chances are he’ll cheat on you someday too.”
A mixture of hurt and anger flashed across Valerie’s face, but behind the safety of the Plexiglas, Caroline felt brave. “And furthermore, I don’t get how you thought this would end well for you. And then to shoot him like that. All you did that day was ruin lives. Yours included.”
Valerie’s face flamed. “Don’t you think I know that? I’ve been reminded of it e
very single day since it happened. I didn’t even go over there intending to shoot him. But I was just so mad. So tired of the way he could walk through life and see everything he touched turn to gold. He never cared who he hurt along the way.”
“I still don’t understand. Couldn’t you just walk away? Is it really better this way?” Caroline gestured at the Plexiglas.
“I couldn’t walk away. He said he loved me. But then when that love was put to the test, he didn’t want anything to do with me.” Valerie spit the words out bitterly.
“Put to the test?” Caroline asked.
Valerie put the phone down and slowly rose from her seat.
Caroline couldn’t hide her gasp.
Valerie’s round, pregnant belly looked almost like a basketball hidden underneath the standard-issue prison garb.
“Pregnant?” Michael asked.
“Yes,” Caroline whispered, clutching the phone. “Can you believe it?”
“No. How are you holding up?”
“I don’t have the feelings you might expect. I mean, I’m not jealous or whatever. I’m mostly just sad.” She paused. “Is it okay for me to talk to you about this? Because if it makes you uncomfortable, I understand.”
“Of course it’s okay. You can say anything to me; you know that. In fact, I think you need to talk about it. Get it off your chest.”
“Okay. But if it weirds you out in any way, just let me know and I’ll shut up.” She’d already unloaded so much on Michael. What if this were too much for him to take?
“You’re funny,” he said. “I promise it won’t weird me out at all. Now, tell me the whole story.”
She paced the length of the master bedroom. “I’ve always wanted children. I love kids. No.” She shook her head. “I adore them. That’s one of the reasons I went into early childhood education. I liked the idea of helping to shape children during their formative years.” She tugged absently on a lock of hair. “And these past years with the media spotlight, I’ve always tried to be a good example.” It was true. She’d visited schools all over Georgia, talking about everything from staying in school to abstinence. Lance used to laugh at her and tell her that she wasn’t Miss America with a platform. But she’d always felt it was her duty.
“So why didn’t you have kids while you and Lance were married?”
She picked up on the strain in his voice. It was hard for him to talk about this with her. She knew she shouldn’t have brought it up. “Lance didn’t want to.” He’d refused to have a family with his wife but apparently hadn’t had any qualms about having one with Valerie.
“Are you mad? Now, I mean?”
She sighed. “I think I might be thankful—now that I know how things turned out. I still want to be a mother. Someday. But I want my children to have a good dad. The kind who will be involved in their lives.” She flopped down on the bed. “And in hindsight, I know Lance wouldn’t have been that.”
“Sometimes God’s plans are better than yours.”
Michael’s words were simple but their meaning profound. “That’s something I’ve really been learning lately.”
“So how did you leave things with Valerie?” he asked.
“Oh. I haven’t told you the craziest part.” This still blew her mind. “She asked me to raise the child.”
Michael was silent.
“Did you hear me? Are you there?” Caroline held the cell phone out to check to see if she still had service bars.
“I’m here,” he said in a quiet voice. “Just surprised.”
“Join the club.” Caroline fluffed her pillow and lay back on it. “She told me that she knew what kind of person I was and that since she wouldn’t be able to raise the child herself, I was the perfect person.” Just saying it out loud seemed unbelievable.
“What did you tell her?”
Caroline sighed. “I didn’t know what to say. She really doesn’t have any family. Lance’s parents live in Florida at a retirement community. He has a brother, but he’s a bachelor who can barely keep himself out of trouble, much less provide a stable home for a child.” She paused. “And then there’s me. The woman who’s always wanted to be a mother.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
“Simon,” Dat said, “I’m so glad you could join us for dinner.”
Lydia Ann kept her eyes on her plate. She’d been surprised when Dat came home and announced they were having company. And she was even more surprised to find out that company was Simon.
“Did anyone come help you feed the baby calfs today?” Katie inquired.
Simon grinned at Katie’s question. “I had a couple of helpers today, but they weren’t as good as you and your sister.”
Katie beamed. “Maybe we can come back soon to help you.”
“That sounds like a wonderful-gut idea, Katie,” Lydia Ann said.
Simon nodded. “How about tomorrow?” he asked. “The bookstore is closed tomorrow, isn’t it?”
Lydia Ann nodded. “It is.”
“Please, Mamm,” Mary said. “Can we visit the farm?”
“I don’t see why not,” she said, smiling at Simon.
“How were things at the bookstore today?” Dat asked.
Leah smiled. “We had a steady stream of people.” She glanced at Lydia Ann. “It was fun to help out.”
“Caroline will be back on Monday,” Lydia Ann explained. “But you’re welcome to stop in anytime.”
“Miss Caroline reads books to the kids,” Mary piped up. “She’s really good at it.”
Thursday’s story hour had been a hit with everyone in town, but especially Mary and Katie. They’d loved the funny voices Caroline had made as she read the stories. Lydia Ann could see how much her friend loved kids.
“This food is delicious,” Simon said. “Thank you for having me.”
Leah smiled. “You’re welcome.”
Once they were finished with the meal, Lydia Ann jumped up to clear the table.
“Let me help.” Simon turned to Leah. “We’ll take care of this.”
Leah looked from Simon to Lydia Ann and smiled. “Danki.”
“Thanks for helping me,” Lydia Ann said once they were in the kitchen.
“I’m not usually fond of doing the dishes.” He grinned. “But for you, I’ll make an exception.”
She chuckled. “I appreciate that.” As they stood side-by-side at the sink, she was struck again by how his nearness unnerved her. It was the same feeling she’d had the day they visited Gettysburg. She’d only experienced that tingly feeling in her stomach one other time, and that was when she’d first gotten to know her husband, Levi.
Once all the dishes were clean, she glanced at Simon. “I hear Michael’s big Gettysburg article is coming out in a couple of weeks.”
He nodded. “I think that’s right.” He smiled. “That was such a fun day.”
“Jah. I had a wonderful time.” She smiled.
Simon returned her smile. “I guess I should be going,” he said.
She followed him into the living room so he could tell Dat and Leah good-bye.
He turned to Lydia Ann at the door. “I hope you’ll bring the girls to the farm tomorrow.”
“We’ll be there bright and early.” She grinned and stepped outside onto the porch.
Simon motioned toward the porch swing. “Do you want to sit down for a moment?”
She nodded. “Just a moment, though. I need to go put the girls to bed.” She chuckled. “If I can get them away from Bandit.” She sank next to him carefully, so as not to brush against him.
“Lydia Ann, I just wanted to tell you that I’m glad I met you,” he began.
She blushed. “I’m glad I met you too.” Even though she’d always been certain that she would never be interested in another man, meeting Simon and spending time with him had made her reconsider the wisdom of her certainty.
“I wonder if you think you’ll ever be ready for another relationship, though,” he said. “Because I understand if that’s not some
thing you’re interested in.”
She sighed. “I used to think the answer to that would always be no.” She glanced over at him. “Watching someone you love battle an illness is one of the worst things you can ever imagine. It’s something I would never want to go through again. I felt so helpless. I couldn’t do anything for him.” She wiped away a lone tear. “And getting used to him not being around took so much time. I honestly thought that that was my one-and-only chance at love.”
“Even though you were so young? I mean, you were only twenty-one when Levi passed away, right?”
She nodded. “I was. But you have to remember that by the time I was twenty-one, I’d lost my mother to an accident, become the mother of twins, and dealt with the illness of my husband.” She waved her hand toward the front door. “And my dat had remarried and moved.”
“So what you’re saying is that even though you were only twenty-one, you’d done a lot of living…and dealt with a lot of sorrow.”
She smiled. “Exactly. I don’t want any more sorrow. Just happiness for me and my girls. And recently I’ve started to wonder if happiness for us might mean sharing our lives with someone.” She met his gaze and felt the flutters in her stomach. She wasn’t completely sure she was ready to give her heart to another man. But she knew the idea was at least worth considering.
He stood. “I’m glad we had this talk.” He gave her a bright smile. “At least I know that you’re not closed off to the idea of love.”
She returned his smile. And when she went back inside, she was glad Dat and Leah didn’t comment on what she knew was a goofy look on her face.
Simon got to the farm extra early on Saturday. He’d not been able to sleep well the previous night because his mind kept drifting to Lydia Ann. After their conversation, he couldn’t help but think of a future with her. But he knew she planned to return to Charm at the end of the summer. The thought hovered over him like a dark cloud.
Love Finds You in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania Page 16
