She could see that Michael was having fun and loved his role as a music leader. He tended to be more reserved and shy off-stage. Michael seemed to bring something special to the worship time. He had a lot of passion for what he did, and it was contagious.
Several times she saw Michael look at her and smile while he was singing. Every time she felt her cheeks flush and wondered if Allison or anyone else noticed, but they didn’t seem to. Michael had wonderful stage presence and kept his eyes traveling around the room. The band didn’t do any solo performing, only leading everyone else in the songs. Loud applause and whistles erupted when Michael announced they would be doing a mini-concert tomorrow night after the evening meeting, as he had mentioned to her earlier on the beach.
They sang for about thirty minutes. The words of several songs made Michael keep his eyes closed almost the entire time, and she tried to determine what it was about particular lyrics that seemed to touch him most deeply, but it was difficult to say.
When the band finished and left the stage, Doug Mason, one of the guys she had seen at church, stood up front to pass out the weekend schedule and go over it briefly to let everyone know where things were taking place and when they needed people to help in the kitchen. Doug appeared to be at least six-four and like he had been a college football linebacker. Natalie found his soft-spoken and gentle nature a big contrast to his burly appearance. He had a sign-up sheet for K.P. duty and passed it around. Natalie put her name next to Allison’s to help clean up after dinner tomorrow night.
Ted got up to share the message for the evening. Natalie enjoyed listening to him each Sunday when he led the Bible study. He had a good sense of humor and was always telling funny stories about his three kids ranging in age from five to ten. Although he and his wife had been married for twelve years, they had only been nineteen when they got married, making them the same age or only a few years older than many of the singles in the group.
She wondered why he was leading this diverse group of single adults if he had never known what it was like to be one, but everyone loved Ted and Corrinne and didn’t seemed bothered by that fact. Sometimes he referred to their single status, but most of the time he focused on the Bible and what it had to say about work, family, relationships, and knowing God better. Natalie didn’t always understand everything he was talking about, but he always made her think. Tonight was no exception.
“We are going to be looking at the first three chapters in the Book of John this weekend, specifically at some of Jesus’ words,” he began.
Natalie saw others reaching for and opening their Bibles, and she did the same. Watching Allison for where in the massive book she turned to, Natalie opened hers to about the same area and found the correct book without too much difficulty, hoping she didn’t look as clueless as she felt.
“Does anyone know--without looking--the first words that Jesus speaks in this account of His life?”
No one was able to answer off the top of their head, an unusual occurrence with this group, making Natalie curious as to what the answer might be.
“In my Bible the words of Jesus are written in red, and the phrase jumped out at me one day when I was doing my morning devotions,” Ted continued. “I found them quite interesting. Look at the thirty-eighth verse of Chapter One.”
Natalie glanced at the page in front of her and saw only black ink, but turning the page, she did see some red lettering, and she read the words as Ted spoke them.
“What do you want?” Ted paused. “The first words John mentions that come from Jesus himself are, ‘What do you want?”
Ted paused again. Natalie didn’t see anything significant about the words.
“If you’re like me, you’ve probably read this passage before and sort of skimmed right over Jesus’ words because we tend to focus on the story as a whole. But I don’t think this is a random question Jesus is asking or one that John recorded by chance. These words are very significant for the people He was talking to on this particular occasion and for us today.
“If Jesus came up to you right now and asked you that same question, how would you respond?” Ted stepped back to sit on the edge of a stool on the platform. “What do you want? From God? Out of life? Think about the things you ask for when you pray. If you’re like me, you ask for good health, safety, blessings...”
Natalie thought about the times she had prayed. Yes, those were things she had whispered on a few occasions while lying in her bed. She didn’t know if praying to Jesus was the same thing as praying to God, however. Ted continued his talk, and she kept listening.
“If we look at the circumstances surrounding this question Jesus asks, we find that two men were following Him who recognized Him as the Lamb of God. So He’s talking to those who have some knowledge of who He is. I think that is significant, here’s why:
“If these were random people on the street Jesus had met and He asked them this same question, their responses would likely vary from one person to the next, if they responded at all. But these were people who knew who He was and had been waiting for Him. And they responded by asking, ‘Where are you staying?’ In effect they answered His question by saying they wanted to know where they could find Him.
Natalie felt a strange stirring in her spirit at Ted’s words. She had never considered the possibility that Jesus was waiting for her to seek Him, nor had she ever thought about looking. She wasn’t sure what that meant or how she would do so, and yet she had a mental picture of searching for Him: around the bend, down a wooded trail, or finding Him out in the open of an uncrowded beach like the one she had been standing on while taking pictures of the beautiful sunset.
“How often do you ask Jesus where He is? Have you ever wondered if Jesus wants to take you somewhere? If He wants you to ask Him what He has planned for you, what’s on His agenda for your life?”
She knew about Jesus in an intellectual sense. She knew He claimed to be the Son of God. She knew He had died on a cross for her sins and offered her forgiveness. She knew He had risen from the dead according to the Bible, although she wasn’t sure if she believed that part of the story. And by what she had heard others say, including Josie and Patrick, she could somehow “follow Him”, but she wasn’t sure how or why she would want to.
Now Ted was proposing another possibility of “seeking” Jesus that brought a unique feeling to her heart and mental images to her mind, but it was all a bit abstract for her. Confusing and difficult to grasp in concrete ways.
Glancing around, she saw that Allison and others around her appeared to be following Ted fine. Being the clueless one was a new experience for her. In school she had always learned things well simply by listening during class and doing her homework. Her mind had wandered during boring lectures but never because she didn’t get it.
Ted told a funny story, gaining her attention once again, although she didn’t understand what it related to since she hadn’t been listening to what he said previously. But he did keep her attention as he continued on.
“Now let’s look at how Jesus responded to the people after they asked Him where He was staying. Verse thirty-nine tells us.”
Natalie’s eyes fell to the Bible still open on her lap and she looked at the words Ted referred to.
“Come and see.”
Natalie looked up at his dramatic pause and saw Ted smiling. He had one of those smiles that made his whole face light up like a kid at Disneyland for the first time.
“Come and see,” he repeated. “Jesus invites us to follow Him. He invites us to come to Him, to get to know Him, to spend time with Him. Is this what you want? Do you want to know Him? Do you want to seek Him? Do you want to know what He wants for you?”
Ted asked Michael to return to the stage to lead them in one more song, one he specifically requested. The entire band didn’t go up, only Michael, and he encouraged them to use the words as a prayer to God. Michael played his keyboard and sang through the microphone and then repeated the chorus about four times with
out the piano or his own voice being amplified. The a cappella effect was beautiful, and something in Natalie’s heart stirred once again as she watched Michael and heard everyone around her singing the words:
Draw me closer
Let me see You
Draw me closer
Let me hear You
Draw me closer
Let me touch You
I want to know You
Draw me closer, always
She knew the You in the lyrics referred to Jesus. But exactly how was she supposed to see and hear and know and touch Him? Did Michael and the others in the room honestly think they could do such a thing?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Natalie remained seated after they were dismissed from the meeting. Michael had left the stage during Ted’s prayer to end the group’s time together, and she hadn’t seen where he went. After a few minutes she excused herself from Allison and the others to seek him out. Not seeing him anywhere on the main floor, she decided he must have gone downstairs to change. Heading up to her room, she changed into warmer clothing for their date, and then returned to the main room once again.
Allison, Jen, and Laurie were sitting in the same place she had left them, laughing and chatting. She scanned the room for Michael but still did not see him. Suddenly she felt nervous. What if he forgot? Do I look like a complete idiot standing here in this warm room with a turtleneck and this thick fleece pullover on? Her coat was draped over one arm, and she decided to place it over the back of a chair, then began wandering the house, trying not to look too conspicuous.
Natalie couldn’t find Michael anywhere. She even wandered outside to see if he was waiting for her, but she saw no one. She went back inside, feeling like a lost puppy, and was about to head back upstairs, change into her pajamas, and go to bed when she heard his voice in her ear. She had decided to wait in the kitchen where it was cooler and less people were standing around. She had stopped beside the window to gaze out at the blackness.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” he said. “Are you still up for a walk?”
She turned and saw he had changed from his casual dress clothes into jeans and a dark blue hoodie.
“Yes,” she replied.
“I’ll go grab a flashlight and meet you out front.”
He stepped to the door leading to the hall, and she headed for the main room to retrieve her coat. She met Allison in the doorway of the kitchen.
“There you are,” she said. “I thought maybe you went to bed.”
“No,” she replied. “I’m still up.”
“Great! Do you want to play Guesstures with us?”
“No thanks,” she said. “I hate charades.”
“Oh, come on. It will be fun. We all make fools of ourselves.”
“Thanks, but I have something else I want to do.”
“What?” she asked, taking in her attire.
Natalie didn’t know what to say and felt a bit annoyed Allison was being so nosy.
“You aren’t going for a walk, are you? It’s pitch black out there.”
“Shh!” she said, starting to giggle. Not wanting Allison’s loud voice to be heard by anyone else and attract attention, Natalie decided to level with her. After tonight she would probably find out about her and Michael anyway, if things went as well as she hoped.
“Yes, I am going for a walk.”
“Natalie--”
“I’m not going alone.”
Allison’s green eyes grew larger. “And whom are we going with, Natalie Matthews?”
“Michael Walker.”
Allison’s concerned face turned to delight and a wide smile emerged. “Oh, really?”
Natalie nodded. “Promise me you’ll keep this to yourself?”
“I will,” she said. “How long have you two--”
“No questions,” she said. “I’ll tell you about it later. Right now I’m going for a walk.”
“Okay,” Allison laughed.
Natalie stepped into the main room, grabbed her coat, and strolled toward the door. No one else seemed to notice her departure, and she stepped onto the porch, walked down the path, and waited for him beside her car.
He emerged from the house moments later, and they walked down the street toward the sound of the ocean. He helped her down the short rocky ledge, illuminating her steps with the flashlight. Once they reached the sand, he kept the light at their feet, but a full moon allowed her to see his face as they walked silently side-by-side down the sandy shore.
Michael reached for her hand, and Natalie felt the warmth from his fingers surrounding her own. That warmth seemed to reach into her soul. They walked in comfortable silence for several minutes. Natalie could not see the ocean, but she heard its steady roar and felt the cool but gentle breeze tossing her loose hair and tingling her cheeks.
“We probably shouldn’t walk too far,” Michael said, slowing his pace. “We don’t want to lose track of where we came from.”
She had been thinking the same thing. With Michael by her side, her fear of the dark lessened significantly, but she still felt a bit wary. As far as she was concerned, lost and dark should never be used in the same sentence.
Michael led them closer to the water, stopping when they reached the wet sand that the outgoing tide had left behind. The bright moon allowed them to see the white caps of the waves in front of them, and Michael placed his arm around her shoulder and drew her close to his side.
She looked up, and he turned his face toward hers. He was looking at her the same way he had when she had taken him home and the night two weeks ago when he had walked her to the door. The thought of him kissing her thrilled her down to her toes.
“In order for this to be an official date,” he said, “I think we’re going to have to start talking.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“I want to know you,” he said.
“What?” She didn’t think any guy had ever said that to her before.
“I want to know everything there is to know about Natalie Matthews.”
She laughed. “Now that’s being specific.”
He dropped his arm from her shoulder and took her hand once again, turning his body to face her directly. “Okay, for starters, what’s your middle name?”
“Jasmine.”
“Natalie Jasmine Matthews,” he said, making her name sound more beautiful than she’d ever heard it before. “I like that.”
“What’s your middle name?”
“Robert--that’s my dad’s name.”
“And your mom’s name is Ellen, right?”
“Yes. Have you ever met them?”
“Josie introduced me to your mom several months ago, and I talked to both of them briefly at Josie’s wedding. But I didn’t realize you were their son until after Brandon pointed that out.”
“Is Josie your only sister?”
“Yes. I have a brother too.”
“Oh, that’s right. His wife was the one who went into labor on the night I was supposed to take you to the concert. I never asked if everything turned out all right.”
“They had a boy. Patrick Richard Matthews IV. Ricky for short.”
“I take it that must be your dad’s name?”
“Yes. He’s the second. He goes by Richard. My grandfather--he died when I was little--is the first.”
“So you’re the baby of the family like me?”
“Yes. I suppose your mom still calls you that too.”
He laughed. “I will always be her Baby Mikey. Spoiled rotten to the core.”
“I was too until my parents split up,” she replied, wondering if she would regret taking this path in their conversation. “After that, everything changed.”
“How old were you?”
“Eleven.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault,” she said.
“I know, but I’m sorry you had to face such a difficult thing. I can’t even imagine how hard that would be.”
“You can’t imagine how nice it is to hear someone recognize that. I got so sick of hearing everyone tell me, ‘these things happen,’ or ‘life goes on.’ I know those statements are true, but that doesn’t make them any easier to hear when you’re eleven--or twelve, or twenty-six.”
She felt comfortable telling him more. He had said he wanted to know her, and this was as close to home as it got. She spilled the whole mess of bad memories, surprising herself at some of the little details she remembered. She didn’t want to spoil their time together, but she needed to talk about this more than she had ever considered.
“What was the hardest part?” he asked.
His interest was genuine. His concern touched the depths of her soul. She didn’t have to take time to think of her response, but she did need a moment to convince herself he was actually listening to her and wanted to hear as much as she wanted to tell him. She hadn’t had that from anyone besides Josie and Patrick before.
“After Josie left for college,” she replied. “I spent two years being mostly ignored by my dad--except for an occasional weekend here and there--and two years at war with my mom.”
“How did you cope with that? I had a hard enough time in high school without having to worry about problems at home.”
“I spent as little time at home as possible. I got involved in everything I could at school: Sports, student government, cheerleading, debate team, choir, drama. Then I took off for Europe as an exchange student my senior year. You should have seen my college and scholarship applications. I had a list of extracurricular activities so long I always needed an additional sheet of paper.”
“Did it pay off?”
“Oh, yeah. Class valedictorian, state championship in track two years in a row, lead in the school play junior year, head cheerleader, student body vice president. I had more scholarships than I knew what to do with.”
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