Patrick and Faith arrived shortly thereafter along with Aleisha, Lindsey, and Baby Ricky. The little guy was two months old and growing like a linebacker. His face, arms, tummy, and legs had filled out into pudgy little rolls of soft creamy white skin. Natalie thought he would make the perfect model for a baby product ad campaign.
She hadn’t seen her dad for several weeks and was very happy when he arrived on time. It was good to see him again, and she hoped he would be able to stick around for a few days. They all sat down at the formal dining room to eat Leona’s gourmet full-course meal. Natalie had surprised the dear housekeeper by hiring a waiter for the evening so Leona could sit down and enjoy the meal with them rather than serving. Natalie had also invited Harry, her father’s longtime groundskeeper, to the lavish meal. Everyone commented on the beautiful centerpiece he had made for the table from rose cuttings from his greenhouse.
Natalie enjoyed the evening. She had been spending so much time alone in this big house that she soaked up all the love and liveliness of the occasion like a dry sponge. Her family brought some healing to her aching heart, and she vowed to stop feeling sorry for herself and move on with life. Moping about losing Michael wasn’t going to bring any measure of comfort. She needed to immerse herself in the joys in her life, not the sorrows.
After dinner they all moved to the formal living room to have Natalie open her gifts. Before she dug into the assortment of colorful packages, she took a manila envelope she had received in the mail yesterday from the drawer of the end table and pulled out the unblemished magazine inside. The shiny cover of Discover Oregon’s June/July issue had a collage of lighthouse photos she had taken two months ago, and she passed it around for everyone to see.
“Is this your first cover photo?” Brandon asked.
“Yes,” she replied, glancing at her dad who had taken the magazine from Brandon and held it admirably in his hands. He looked up and smiled.
“These are nice, baby.”
She began opening her gifts: khaki shorts and two tops from Patrick and Faith; a gift pack of bubble bath, lotion, body splash, and soap smelling like sweet flowers from Leona; two music CDs, a lovely journal, and a summery outfit from Josie and Brandon.
She had no idea what to expect from the box with Daddy’s card on top of it. Reading the small note first, she almost cried at the words he had written.
Happy Birthday, baby. Hope you enjoy this. All my love, Daddy
She set the card aside and lifted the lid from the wrapped package. Seeing the Canon label on the outside of the inner box, she gasped. On her dad’s last visit she had talked about wanting to get a digital camera because that form of technology was becoming more and more prevalent in the publishing world, and the top-end cameras could take the high-quality photographs she was used to with a traditional camera. But they weren’t cheap, and she didn’t want to settle for something of a lower quality, so she was currently saving her pennies.
“I hope I got the right one,” he said. “I’m a little behind the times with all this new equipment on the market.”
“It’s perfect,” she replied, rising from her seat to give him a hug for such a generous gift. “Thank you.”
She thanked everyone else too, and Leona announced it was time for cake. Despite her earlier comment, Leona had placed twenty-seven light pink candles in and around the roses made of blue and lavender icing. Patrick and Faith said they needed to be going soon after everyone finished their dessert, and Natalie began to feel sad the evening was coming to an end. Fortunately Daddy was here and she wouldn’t be abandoned completely. She felt anxious to show him some of her recent work from Silver Falls and Crater Lake.
“Before anyone leaves,” Josie said, rising from her chair beside the fireplace. “I have an announcement to make while we’re all here.”
Natalie saw her sister walk to Brandon’s side and loop her arm around his broad shoulders. They looked at each other and smiled.
“We are going to have a baby,” she said.
“Well, that didn’t take long,” Patrick teased, rising from the couch to give Josie a hug. “Congratulations.”
Natalie crossed the hardwood floor to embrace her sister as well. She knew they had decided to have more children as soon as possible and knew Josie’s concerns that getting pregnant may or may not happen as easily as it had when she was younger.
“That is the best news I’ve heard in a long time,” she said. “You be sure and take it easy, all right?”
“I’ll make sure she does,” Brandon said, kissing his wife on the cheek. Natalie gave him a hug and then began saying good-bye to everyone shortly thereafter.
When Leona had her kitchen back in order, she left for her cottage, leaving Natalie and Daddy alone. He had gone back to the other room to find the magazine and had settled himself beside the fireplace to look at the photographs inside the issue. She sat down beside him and pointed out her favorites and described the conditions she had taken each one in.
“You should be proud of yourself, baby. This is first-rate photography.”
“Thanks, Daddy. That means a lot to me to hear you say that.”
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“You know those prints you sent with me to take to my gallery in Boston?”
“Yes,” she replied, suddenly recalling she had done so.
“Every one of them sold in the first week.”
“Really?”
“Really. The buyer wants as many as you can send when I head back.”
“I have some work to do then,” she said, going on to tell him about her latest excursions. She decided to wait until tomorrow to show him her newest slides. He looked tired and she felt a bit weary herself.
“How long are you going to be here?” she asked before they headed upstairs.
“Through Memorial Day.”
“A whole week and two days?”
“Assuming nothing major comes up.”
“I have some darkroom work I want to do. Will you help me?”
“Sure. Do you know when you want to take that backpacking trip yet? I’m going to be scheduling some vacation time in the next few months.”
“I’m thinking sometime in August,” she replied, surprised he had remembered her request from a month and a half ago.
“I was thinking about taking a trip to Europe in July,” he said. “Would you be interested in accompanying me? I could use a good tour guide.”
“Seriously? I thought you hated Europe.”
“I’ve only been there on business. This would be for pleasure.”
“That would be great,” she said. “I always wanted you to come with me on one of my visits.”
“I know. I’m sorry I never had the time--or I should say, never made the time.”
“I’d love to go back,” she said, tucking her hand in the crook of his arm as they walked up the staircase off the kitchen. “I have an overnight trip planned with the writers on my Mount Hood project in July sometime. I’ll check my schedule.”
He kissed her good-night and headed for his room at the end of the hall. She slipped into her room and changed into her pajamas, then sat at her window-seat in the darkness to stare out at the twinkling lights shining from across the lake.
She thought about the evening and smiled when she recalled Josie’s happy news. Without taking time to contemplate her unclear beliefs, she prayed silently for her sister and for the baby growing inside her. God, if you’re there, I ask you to take care of Josie and the baby. Bless my sister and her husband with another healthy child to love and raise together.
Her thoughts turned to Michael. She hadn’t heard from him at all. She’d expected him to call during that first week, trying to get her to talk and convince her to believe as he did, but he hadn’t. She supposed he had gotten over her soon enough. A one-week relationship--nine days to be exact, hardly warranted him to be lamenting over her, she was sure. Too bad she hadn’t been able to think about their time to
gether so casually. The brief days seemed like a camera shutter opening and closing quickly but producing a lasting memory on the film roll of her heart.
Her conversations with Allison were the only link to him she had. Allison had heard the news from Josie, and her persistent friend had been calling her at least twice a week, just to check in, she’d say.
“Are you going to be at church on Sunday?” she would always ask, or “Come to my apartment for Bible study on Tuesday night. Laurie and Jen will be there along with some of the other gals from the group. Everyone is asking about you.”
“I don’t think so,” she always replied. “I need some time to sort this out on my own. I’ll come back when I’m ready.”
Allison wasn’t pushy, just persistent. Natalie appreciated her concern and phone calls more than she would be willing to admit. And in seeing Michael at the restaurant three nights a week, Allison had let her know Michael had recovered fully from his injury, that he had some job prospects, and how the band had been asked by a local music company to record a CD.
“He keeps asking about you,” she would also say. “He wonders how you’re doing. What should I tell him?”
Natalie didn’t know if Allison was being truthful, or only saying that to make her feel better, or trying to coerce her into coming back to church to have a look for herself. She had been tempted to, but what was the point? She knew there was only one thing she could say to him to give them any hope of getting back together--unless he abandoned his strong beliefs or decided he didn’t care if she agreed with Christianity. Neither were probable.
“Tell him I’m fine,” she always said. “Busy, but fine.” Neither one was a complete truth. She hadn’t gotten any new assignments since completing the Crater Lake job that had gotten huge compliments from Matt. And it was too early and much too wet to get started on the Mount Hood project. She was supposed to be going out with the writers later this week for some day excursions, but they were predicting rain for the entire week, and she knew they may have to postpone their plans.
The chilled air coming from the window began to seep through Natalie’s thin pajamas, and she moved to the bed, snuggling under her warm comforter. She tried not to give Michael another thought. She had already exceeded her limit for the day, but she hadn’t been able to go to sleep one night for the entire month without recalling his kisses so vividly she could practically feel his warm lips caressing her own.
She thought she would be over him by now. It’s been a month, Natalie. You were the one that decided this is what you wanted. Stop this obsession over a man you can never have.
She fell asleep somewhere around midnight--with the help of the imaginary sensation of being held in his arms.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Natalie slept until ten the following morning. She knew Daddy must have slept late himself when she found him at the kitchen table dressed in his plaid pajamas and gray robe, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper.
Natalie poured herself a glass of orange juice. Leona always took Sundays off, so she knew they were on their own for breakfast. “Have you had anything to eat, Daddy?”
“No. I thought I’d wait for you.” He rose from his chair and headed for the stairs. “Give me ten minutes. We’ll go out.”
She sat down at the table and read the article on the front page of the paper, up until the point she had to turn to another to read the remainder. She decided it wasn’t worth the bother. Instead she pulled out the comics and read a few of her favorites while she waited for Daddy to return.
They went to their favorite place overlooking the lake and enjoyed the full buffet table and their made-to-order omelettes at a leisurely pace. He talked more about wanting to plan the trip to Europe. She said she would take care of organizing their itinerary based on her knowledge of France and the surrounding countries if he would take care of the travel arrangements. Just talking about some of her favorite places made her more anxious to return, and she hoped Daddy wasn’t just speculating about this. His history of letting her down in the past remained in her mind, but her heart chose to ignore the possibility.
They spent the afternoon in the darkroom. She had restocked supplies and checked to see that everything was in working order several weeks ago, but she hadn’t gotten around to doing any developing yet. She had become spoiled by professional labs and knew she needed to get back to the basics more often. More was always learned by doing it herself. Daddy had taught her that.
She decided to develop the roll she had saved from the beach trip. She thought she would get some good results if her memory of the spectacular colors served her right, and she was not disappointed. The vibrant colors brought smiles of wonder and admiration from her father. By the time they finished, Daddy looked like he had taken ten years off his life, and Natalie felt sixteen again.
“Oh, I miss that,” he said as they headed upstairs to the main floor of the house. “You must get me down there more often, baby. Especially with the excellent stuff you have to work with now. Several of those would be great for you to send with me when I return to Boston next week.”
“I’m sure having fun,” she said. “Thanks so much for letting me live here so I can do this.”
“You’re welcome, Natty,” he replied, putting his arm around her shoulders and giving her a loving squeeze. “It’s the least I can do.”
They ordered Chinese food for dinner and sat on the couch to eat while watching a nature special on public television, showcasing some of the oldest forests in the Pacific Northwest, including Canada and Alaska. The documentary made her more anxious to do some serious hiking this summer.
After they put the leftovers in the fridge, Natalie showed off her latest work. Her dad pointed out several he thought she should send with him on his next return to Boston. She was glad to have something to think about besides you know who.
Daddy said he had some work to do and headed for his office. She made a list of all the negatives she needed to find and have ready to take to the lab tomorrow. At nine-thirty she headed upstairs, used her new bubble bath, and soaked in the hot, muscle-relaxing water for an hour. She took the book she had been reading from the tub to her bed and curled up with her pillow to finish Emma, one of her all-time-favorite classics, as if she hadn’t read it a dozen times before.
The phone ringing startled her. Glancing at the time, she thought it was a bit late for Allison to be calling. Checking the display, she saw it wasn’t her, nor her sister. Natalie froze and wondered if she should answer. She only let it ring once more before clicking the answer button and greeting Michael in a neutral voice.
“Hi, Natalie.” he replied. “Happy Birthday.”
“Thanks,” she whispered. “I’m surprised you remembered.”
“I had it on my calendar,” he said. “I hope me calling doesn’t spoil your day.”
“No,” she replied. “How are you?”
“I’ve been better.”
She didn’t know what to say. Is he implying that he’s missing me, or did he have a bad day?
“How are you?” he asked. His voice held concern not casualness.
Fine, was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t lie to him. “I suppose I’ve been better too.”
“I’ve wanted to call you so many times. I decided your birthday was a good enough excuse.”
The tenderness in his voice made her want to cry. But she couldn’t do that. She had to convince him she was fine, moving on.
“I hope you don’t hate me,” she said, removing her reading glasses and laying them on her night table. “I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner about, well, you know.”
“No, Natalie. I’m sorry. I feel bad for the way I reacted when you told me about your doubts. I was shocked, and I don’t think I even believed it at first. I should have said something instead of letting you drive away like that. I’m sorry I assumed. I should have asked you.”
She didn’t need to hear his voice to know she missed him, but
talking to him again brought that reality to the forefront, and she blinked back tears.
“Can we talk?” he asked. “About that, or whatever. I can’t live my life without speaking to you ever again.”
She leaned back against the headboard. “I’d like that.”
He asked her what she had done for her birthday, and she told him about the dinner and party her family had thrown for her last night. She mentioned Daddy being in town and the fun they’d had developing some film this afternoon.
She asked him about school and found out he had graduated yesterday. She told him about the magazine cover, her prints selling at the gallery, and her new camera. He sounded happy for her, and she promised to send him one of the sunset photos from the beach.
“I have a new address,” he said. “But I don’t know it yet.”
“You’re moving?”
“Yeah, I got a job.”
“As a youth pastor? Where?”
“Eugene. The same day you drove out of my life I got a call from my Uncle Jim--Brandon’s dad. He said their youth pastor was resigning to take a position with a mission relief organization and they were looking for someone new. I sent them my résumé, and without much effort on my part they decided to hire me and want me to start as soon as possible.”
“Congratulations,” she said. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. I think I’ll like it there. I’m going to be staying with my aunt and uncle until I find a place of my own. But I’ll drop my address in the mail to you as soon as I do--if that’s okay.”
“Sure,” she said. “If I’m ever down that way, I’ll be sure to stop by and say hello.”
A long pause followed, and Natalie wondered if she should say good-bye. But she couldn’t bring herself to form the words.
“Can I ask you something?” he finally said.
“Yes.”
“Do you think there’s any chance you might change your mind about God someday?”
She sighed and answered honestly. “I don’t know, Michael. I can’t tell you what I believe or why because I don’t even know. I’d love to tell you that might change, but--” Her voice trailed off.
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