by Noah Harris
He startled and stilled when the doors to the library opened and suddenly the voices were thrown into audible clarity.
“—just don’t like it, Arulean,” said a gruff voice, deep and hoarse with a pleasant cadence and the ease of familiarity. He had a hard time placing it. The man’s scent and presence was overshadowed by Arulean, and Rajiah didn’t know enough of his kind to place it by voice alone.
“You do not have to like it,” came Arulean’s voice, dark and smooth, with a cadence of its own like a steady river. Powerful but deceptively calm. Danger lurked below those waters, but the surface looked peaceful as a pool. “The fact remains that this is our reality. My reality.”
“She is not who she used to be.” The man persisted. The doors closed behind them and the voices came deeper into the library. Rajiah pushed himself into the nook beneath the desk, keeping his breathing steady and shallow as his fingers nervously played with his scent blocking bands.
“I am no longer who I used to be.”
“Exactly! No one would blame you if you found another. Most are surprised you don’t have several mates already. You’re the most powerful male alpha of our kind right now. We need you—”
“You need me to keep her on a tight leash. Not to spread my seed.”
“You have proven to be fertile in the past.”
“And not anymore.” His voice grew sharper with irritation. It was a small flare of anger that Rajiah wasn’t used to hearing from him. Especially not recently, when everything about the man was carefully calm and cold.
“Arulean, I’m sorry, but you can’t dwell on the past.”
“The past is what shapes us. The past is what I hope to never repeat. I keep it close so we can learn from it.”
“But living in the past gives you a fractured existence. I see you now, Arulean, and you look like you’re not entirely here. Half your mind is always away. I see the shadows in your eyes, the ghosts on your face. You need to let them lie and live for the future.”
“I am living for the future!” the Alpha snapped. “The future is what haunts me! It is on my mind near constantly. I know what I have to do, and you cannot persuade me to do otherwise. I have given this far too much thought. I know what my path holds.”
“Your path will lead to your unhappiness.”
“My happiness is not important.”
“It is.”
“Not when the fate of our entire race is on my shoulders.” He sighed. “I once lived for happiness, for myself, and that got us to where we are today. I cannot afford to live like that anymore. I am not that young naive dragon any longer.”
“You can allow yourself some semblance of happiness.”
“Perhaps... but not in the way you suggest.”
“She cares nothing for you, Arulean. Anyone with eyes can see it.”
“That does not matter.”
“To hell with that! She looks upon you with disdain. That is not the look of a mate, Arulean. It is the look of a cobra poised to strike.”
“She will not harm me, nor will she leave me.”
“You don’t know--“
“Gerrald.” Arulean snapped, effectively silencing the man. Gerrald. Recognition sparked. Gerrald Onyx, Arulean’s younger brother, second-in-command during the wars, and one of the only ones close enough to him to speak so openly. “I know so. I am half of her power, and she craves power above all else. It is what drew her to me to begin with. Without me, she loses half of her influence. She will not harm or leave me.”
“Just usurp your ideas and authority,” Gerrald sneered.
“I can handle her. She is not quite so crafty as she likes to think she is.”
“She’s dangerous.”
“She is. She is passionate about her opinions, and that makes her very dangerous indeed. But it is nothing I cannot handle or curb.”
Gerrald sighed, a sound of resignation that seemed to echo about the room, then fading to silence. They were close. Too close for comfort. “I just don’t like seeing you this way,” he said softly, almost reproachfully.
“And which way would that be?”
“You know which way. You walk these halls like a ghost, Arulean, when you used to rule your domain with a fire of life that not even the sun could match. She brings you no happiness. If anything, she worsens your condition.”
There was movement, the sound of someone leaning back against the desk, a defeated but resigned sigh. Rajiah stiffened, skin prickling and itching, but he dared not to move. “We have been over this. How I feel does not matter. Not anymore. Besides, I am not quite sure happiness is something I deserve anymore.”
“Nothing was your fault. You couldn’t do anything to stop it, and you know that.”
“Perhaps,” He said softly. “But I cannot help but feel I could have done more to keep it from getting so bad.”
“You don’t need to keep suffering for past mistakes. Allow yourself to be happy.” Gerrald continued quickly, cutting off another protest. “I’m not saying drop everything. I’m saying if happiness comes your way, be open to it.”
Another sigh. “We will see.”
“Promise me you won’t run from happiness.”
“Gerrald--“
“Promise me, Arulean.”
“I will not break our mateship.”
A sigh from Gerrald this time. “I’m not saying—just ... don’t let her hold you back.”
“Fine.”
“Thank you.”
There was a pause, a silence, a drumming of fingers on the thick wood of the desk above him. There was a shift in Arulean’s aura, a shift in his scent. It was subtle, but noticeable. “Perhaps you should return to the festivities.” There was a shift in his voice. Something far too calm to be natural, not when just previously they had been speaking with a frank openness and familiarity. Rajiah stiffened, breath stilling.
Gerrald paused, apparently noticing the shift judging from the mild confusion in his voice when he spoke. “Will you be joining me?”
“I have something that needs attending to. I will return later.”
“If you don’t, Lyphnia will use that against you...”
“I do not need to be there for everyone to know my presence.”
“She will use this as time to plant seeds of doubt.”
“I will be there later.”
“Arulean--“
“I promise I am not locking myself away again. Now if you will excuse me...” His voice was stern, stiff, and allowed no argument. Gerrald huffed, and Rajiah could only imagine the disgruntled look on the gruff man’s scarred face. But then there were retreating footsteps, the door opening and closing, and the silence. Fingers continued to drum atop the desk in a steady pattern. Rajiah held his breath. He waited, prayed, for Arulean to move and go about his business, but he never did.
“I know you’re there.” His voice was chillingly calm, low, and sent shivers straight down his spine. The fingers continued to tap. Rajiah didn’t move. He wasn’t sure he could. He certainly couldn’t breathe. “You might as well show yourself.”
Tension stretched, taut as a bowstring ready to snap. Had Arulean been anyone else, he might have tried to call his bluff, continue to hide, hope he wasn’t found. But if anyone could sense him past his precautions, it was this man.
Steeling himself, he took a deep breath, feeling the adrenaline rush through his system, giving him courage. Settling himself into a passive, casual, calm, he pushed himself out from under the desk and stood.
Arulean was leaning back against the edge of the desk, hands back on the wood and fingers tapping, legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. His back was to Rajiah, and he didn’t turn around. That, in and of itself, was a blatant show of power, proving that he didn’t feel Rajiah was enough of a threat, so it was acceptable to put his back to him. He was right, but it still made his hackles rise at the disrespect.
They were both silent for a long moment, tension thick and apprehension clawing i
ts way down his throat. He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning his weight to one hip and adopting a position of defensive nonchalance. He stopped holding back his aura, letting it simmer and shine as it wanted. He hadn’t done anything wrong, and he wasn’t going to act like he had.
“What are you doing in my library?” The voice was the same deceptive calm, deep but icy at its core. It was a voice used to intimate, but it only made Rajiah’s annoyance rise. He refused to submit to anyone. Not Lyphnia, not his own mother, and certainly not Arulean.
“I wasn’t aware it was yours.” He said calmly, voice just as hard.
Arulean turned his head at that, glancing at Rajiah over his shoulder. He hated to admit the hitch in his breath when he met those dark eyes. Arulean looked him over, one eyebrow raised. “It is my castle,” he said, perfectly neutral.
“And so visitors aren’t allowed in the library?” Rajiah asked, raising an eyebrow to mirror him. “Typically, libraries are public spaces.”
“No one visits the library except for me,” Arulean said matter of factly.
“Does that mean no one is allowed?”
A pause. “No,” He turned around more fully, eyeing Rajiah with more curiosity, but still with closed-off assessment. “But no one visits the library.”
“I do.”
“You never have before.”
“I used to come in here whenever I visited.” He admitted, shifting his weight under Arulean’s heavy gaze and letting his eyes roam the bookshelves. “It’s quiet in here ... peaceful. It’s a good place to escape when the others are overwhelming.”
It was quiet for a moment, and then Arulean nodded. “It is. That is often why I come here. I also enjoy reading. The knowledge this room contains is vast, but so few are eager to learn.” He said, gesturing widely at the room.
“I like reading, too.” Arulean looked at him like he didn’t quite believe him.
Rajiah scowled. “I do!”
Arulean looked him over, brows furrowing just slightly. “You are a peculiar one, Rajiah Bronze.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, so instead he asked, “How did you know I was there?”
Arulean pushed off the desk, loosely clasping his hands behind his back as he strode over to the book stand Rajiah had been standing near, idly flipping back through the pages. “I was reading this earlier, and I noticed it was no longer on the page I had left it on.” He didn’t look up as his hands traced words on the page. Rajiah found himself transfixed by those long, slender fingers. The thought came unbidden, of what those fingers would feel like against his skin, caressing him with the same amount of tenderness and care. “I could smell traces of someone, but I had assumed he had been in here earlier. It wasn’t until I was seated there that I noticed your presence. It was subtle at first, nearly drowned out by Gerrald and I.” He looked at Rajiah then, dark eyes sharp and suspicious. “It is... very peculiar for a dragon.”
Rajiah shrugged. “I’m very good at hiding myself.”
“I noticed.” He turned back to the book, flipping a page. But while he looked nonchalant, Rajiah could still feel the tension in the room. “But tell me, why do you have need to hide in the first place.” Rajiah opened his mouth to respond, but snapped it shut when he didn’t know what to say. Arulean continued. “As you have stated, the library is a public, if seldom used, place. So why should you hide beneath a desk when my brother and I come?” He looked at Rajiah then, eyes sharp and lips pursed into the smallest of frowns. The hostility was sudden enough to make him freeze. “Unless you are here for ill-begotten purposes.”
Rajiah gaped, eyes wide and brows furrowed. “Like what?” He asked, incredulous.
Arulean closed the book gently but firmly, letting the sound echo dully in the room. “Like spying for your sister.”
“What?”
He turned toward him. “Like listening in on private conversations to gather information.”
“I’m not—”
He took a step forward. “Like positioning yourself in a space that only I frequent and looking through my most recent research for clues.”
“I wasn’t--“
Several more steps, closing the distance between them in long, fluid strides. “Like reporting back to your sister regarding my movements.”
“Will you stop--“
Arulean stopped right in front of him. They were toe-to-toe, and Rajiah had to crane his neck back to look up at the taller man, but he refused to back down. Not when these accusations were being thrown at him. Not when Arulean was accusatory and angry and was making Rajiah’s defenses act up. He stood his ground, his own anger increasing.
Then Arulean bent down, and suddenly their faces were very close. Too close. The scent of him, strong and powerful, smoke and musk, like cool nights and campfires, washed over him. Rajiah knew the scent of alphas. He could admit to being lured in by it. He could admit that alphas smelled good. It was his biology to be attracted to it. But never had an alpha’s scent hit him with enough force to leave his mouth dry, his knees weak, and cause heat to go spiraling through his gut. He could do little more than gape, trying to get a handle on himself.
“Like working with your sister to undermine my authority.” Arulean’s breath ghosted over Rajiah’s face, caressing his cheeks, his lips. His stomach tied itself in knots, and he found it hard to breathe.
Only through the pure force of indignant anger was Rajiah able to keep himself from grabbing Arulean by the face and dragging him forward.
“I’m not working for my sister,” he spat, putting a hard emphasis on each word as he scowled. His hands clenched into tight fists, the pain of his nails digging into his palms keeping him grounded.
Arulean was still far too close, his dark eyes searching Rajiah’s. The dim lighting made it difficult to see the line between iris and pupil, even at this distance. The bridge of his brows pinched just a fraction. “She is ... your sister?” It was said like a question, flavored with confusion.
Rajiah scoffed. “Yes, and?”
Arulean leaned back, face blank as he looked over Rajiah’s face. “You are not loyal to her?” he asked slowly, as if the question tasted odd on his tongue.
Rajiah rolled his eyes. “She’s my sister, but she’s not my master.”
Both Arulean’s eyebrows went up at that. “Blood does not bind you?”
Rajiah’s lips quirked up at that, his scowl fading into something more akin to amusement. “You don’t know much about me, do you?” he asked dryly.
“I admit, I do not. It is not often Lyphnia speaks of you or her family,” he paused, and then added. “Or much to me at all.”
Rajiah’s smile curved wider as he tilted his head to the side, wavy locks falling across his forehead as he stared up at the other dragon. “Not even my mother could control me.”
“That ... must have bothered her greatly.”
The Great Mother had been known for being a very controlling alpha. Most of her children, and most of those she met, were quickly put under her thumb. She had butted heads with Lyphnia more times than he could count, but that was because they were far too similar. In the end, she couldn’t help but be proud of what her daughter had accomplished and how powerful she had become. Rajiah had been another person she couldn’t control, but one she hadn’t tried too hard with. He had always thought it was because she considered him a lost cause. But now, with Lyphnia’s words echoing in his memory, he was starting to wonder if it was indeed because he was a favorite.
“It did.”
Arulean stepped back, regarding Rajiah with an expression that the latter couldn’t read. “Who are you loyal to then, Rajiah Bronze?”
Rajiah didn’t hesitate. “Myself.” He lifted his chin. “And our kind.”
“To dragons.” He tilted his head just a fraction, giving Rajiah a very pointed look. “To the Elders or the kings and queens?”
“Neither,” Rajiah said, lip curling. “I don’t mean dragons. I mean all shifters.”
> Arulean remained silent at that, but he blinked a couple times to show his bafflement.
Rajiah continued, “They suffer just as much, if not more so, than we do. We’re all shifters, and I want what’s best for all of us.” His lip curled into a sneer. “None of this ‘we’re better than them’ talk.”
“You ... do realize Lyphnia’s stance on the subject of lesser shifters?” Arulean asked cautiously.
Rajiah rolled his eyes. “I’m aware. It’s not like she hides her opinions.”
“So you do not agree with her on most points?”
He threw his hands up in the air with an exasperated sound. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”
“Then what were you doing in my library?”
“I told you! I came here to get away from everyone!”
“Then why did you hide?”
Rajiah crossed his arms over his chest, shrugging one shoulder. He looked away, down to the side as he mumbled. “I don’t know. Habit, I guess. I don’t like being noticed.”
“You are very noticeable.” He said so bluntly, and with an odd edge to it that made heat rise to Rajiah’s cheeks. He scowled, trying to force down the flush.
Before he could speak again, however, they both heard the sudden and sharp tap of footsteps in the hall. They both whipped their heads around to look at the door. Heels on stone, sharp quick pace. There were only a few things that could mean. Sure enough, when Rajiah reached out hesitantly, he felt the fiery crimson aura of his sister.
His eyes widened. “Oh no,” He whispered, whipping around to Arulean, one hand already resting on the desk. “Don’t tell her I’m here, please.”
He eyed him curiously. “Why?”
“She’ll drag me back downstairs and force me to talk to suitors. I’ve had enough hungry eyes on me tonight, and if I’m forced to listen to one more story of self-imposed bravery from an egotistical alpha’s mouth, I might just snap.” He met Arulean’s eyes, pleading silently, and then whispered, “Please.”
