Balance of Forces

by Ali Vali

  “Why would anyone want to hurt me?”

  “If you get too close, you become a weapon my enemies can use against me. This isn’t a game, and you need to understand the danger before it’s too late and you get caught in an impossible position.” She relaxed her hold so she could see Piper’s face. “Now that you see I’m all right, you need to go, and this time please keep your word. Stay away from me until I find my brother and deal with him.”

  “I don’t want to go, not yet.” Piper laid her head on Kendal’s chest and tightened her arms around her waist. “Everyone I care about sends me away for my own good, and I think it’s time to decide for myself what’s best.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “My mother died after having me, and after that my dad checked out instead of trying to take care of me. From what I remember, if he was given a choice, I’m sure I’d never be it. He just gave me away.” Piper’s voice got softer as she spoke.

  “Little one, from what I know of your family, your father didn’t give you away. He was lost without the woman he loved. Apparently your mother, before you came, was his world, and her death killed a large part of his heart. It wasn’t right that he couldn’t show you how much you meant to him, but you can’t keep thinking that he considered you lacking in any way.”

  “He blamed me for her death. He never said it out loud, but I could tell. If she hadn’t given birth she’d still be here.”

  Kendal put two fingers under Piper’s chin and raised the tear-stained face. “Your mother’s death was nature’s fault, not yours.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I know lots of things, and I’m sure of this. Your parents were lucky. Their love and life together was short-lived, but they left behind the most precious evidence of what they meant to each other. They left the world you.” She ran her hand along Piper’s face, wiping away her tears and trying to comfort and heal the hurts of the little girl who had taken on her father’s pain and guilt, which had become heavier the longer she carried them. “Open your eyes and see what the rest of us do. You’re smart, driven, and beautiful.”

  Piper blushed and laughed at the compliment. “I thought you said I was annoying. If I remember correctly, you mentioned a pesky little thing buzzing around your ear.”

  “Lucky for you, I happen to like annoying. If we had dismissed each other right off, we wouldn’t be here. I’ve found that, sometimes, anger’s as strong an emotion as all the others combined. It hasn’t been boring, has it?”

  “No, and you’re right. I can’t explain why I’m here. Not that long ago I wanted your head mounted on my wall.”

  Kendal moved her hands down to Piper’s waist. “And now?”

  “Now I want to do everything I can to keep you whole so I can spend more days walking around Oakgrove with you, listening to your stories about interesting people who lived long ago. And in return, I want to build a friendship with you that we’ll both treasure.”

  “I’d love that, but we had a deal, remember? You need to leave.”

  “I said I would, but we’re not done.” Piper moved a step back and took her hand, then looked around until she found the bathroom and started tugging her in that direction.

  “Piper, can I ask what you have in mind?”

  “I believe that the blood isn’t yours, but it’s disgusting, so I want to help you clean up. After that, I intend to order room service and then watch you sleep. If you’re running around after people who want to kill you, you have to refuel.”

  Part of her brain loved the suggestion, but the more rational section applied the brakes. “As great as that sounds, we can’t.”

  “Why not? It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.” Piper’s smile turned teasing as she pulled harder on her hand.

  When Kendal set her feet, she was sure Piper would have more luck pulling up an ancient oak with her bare hand than getting her into the bathroom. “I appreciate it, but I don’t need to sleep, and not to sound repetitive, but you’ve got to get going.”

  “Unless you’re not human, you need to sleep. I was up all night trailing you and I’m exhausted, though I just rode around in the car. If you don’t lie down and sleep, you’ll force me to break my promise and follow you in case you need my help.”

  “Then let me be honest.” She did the only thing she could think to motivate Piper to walk out the door. With a gentle pull she pressed Piper against her and kissed her with passion. This time she gave herself permission to let her hands wander as she took possession of Piper’s mouth. She was sure Piper would want to get as far away from her as possible, and she didn’t stop until Piper slumped against her.

  “Um…” Piper looked up at her like she didn’t really know what to say.

  “I don’t want to be, because I know how you feel about this sort of thing, but I’m attracted to you. It’d be torture to get in that shower and know I couldn’t touch you like I want. With a little time, I’m sure I can get used to the idea of just being your friend, but I’m not there yet.” Kendal laughed and patted the side of Piper’s face. “That and remaining clothed at all times when we’re together.”

  “Um…”

  “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, and I’ll understand if you want to leave now.”

  As she had before in their short history together, Piper did the unexpected by walking away from Kendal and putting her hands on her hips. She was clearly pissed and didn’t appreciate being played, which only made Kendal’s libido stand up and take notice. If Piper’s eyes got any darker, Kendal would have to beg, she was sure, since she was ready to begin.

  “Who said anything about me joining you in the shower, you big moose.” Piper moved her hands from her hips to the top button of her shirt. It popped open quickly, and Piper moved to the next ones until the garment was close to undone.

  “Um, Piper, sweetheart, you have to stop before we reach some place you don’t want to be.” Kendal’s order sounded weak, and she kept her eyes glued to the black lace bra that was visible when the fourth button gave way.

  Piper’s shirt dropped to the floor behind her and she moved to the buttons of her jeans. “The way I see it, you big take-charge types look at women like me and have an uncontrollable urge to do our thinking for us.”

  “Big take-charge types?”

  “You have some sort of conqueror complex. I’m sure you could find hundreds of books on the subject. You run around with your sword and swagger and think the rest of us are here to bow and scrape.” Piper’s shapely hips wiggled to help the jeans slide down her legs. When they hit Piper’s ankles, the only moving Kendal wanted to do was put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door. The matching black bikini underwear was doing funny things to her blinking reflex.

  “I do not expect people to bow and scrape.”

  Piper moved her hand to the clasp at the back of the bra, jutting her breasts out quite nicely. Drooling is not an option here, Asra, Kendal warned herself.

  “Yes, you do. ‘Piper, go home and don’t worry your pretty little empty head about me.’” Piper lowered her voice to sound more like her. “‘Only I get to decide when and where we’ll spend time together.’” Piper had to stop and cough from trying to sound gravelly, making Kendal laugh. She took a step forward when the bra came loose and slid down Piper’s arms. “Don’t even think about it.”

  “You get naked over there and you expect me to just stand here?”

  “I’m not naked.” Piper put her fingers at the sides of her underwear and pulled down. “Now I’m naked.” Her fists moved back to her hips. “Still want me to leave?”

  “No.”

  “Want to get in the shower with me?”

  “Yes.” She couldn’t stop sounding like an idiot. Piper’s gorgeous body had reduced her to one-word answers. To remedy the situation, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “But you just said you didn’t want to get in the shower with me.”

  “I don’t, I want you to get in the
shower with me. There’s a difference.” Piper closed the gap between them and pulled Kendal’s shirt off, leaving her in a pair of plain white briefs. “How can you be so perfect?”

  “Cigar smoking,” she said, stepping over the pile of clothes, and scooped Piper off her feet. As they moved to the bathroom, Piper pulled the tie out of her hair and ran her fingers through it.

  They stood under the spray simply enjoying the feel of each other’s skin. With time to think, Kendal was able to control her urges. Instead of moving too fast, she touched Piper in a way that had nothing to do with sex, but more about giving reassurance and being someone for Piper to hold on to. Mac and Molly had provided everything within their power, but even their love had not been enough of a balm to heal the scars life had inflicted.

  In her, she guessed, Piper had found someone with whom, perhaps for the first time, she could let her defenses down and fear no ridicule for who she truly was. And she believed Piper had been completely open with her, so as physically different as they were inside, they were two of a kind—people who projected an image that hid their true self, which almost no one was privileged to see.

  She ran her fingers through Piper’s hair to get it wet. She hated to use the hotel’s shampoos since Piper smelled so good just as she was. When she was done, she stood still and watched as Piper gently washed away all the evidence of her injuries.

  “You know what’s funny?” Piper asked.

  “Not me, I hope.”

  “Not you, but being here feels so right. Before you, personal closeness was never easy, and being with someone like Kenny made my skin crawl. I would’ve never done this with him.” Piper ran her fingers along her collarbone. “But I can’t curb the urge to touch you.”

  “In your defense, I think Kenny has that effect on most people,” Kendal said, quickly pressing their lips together to erase Piper’s pout. She had been with so many women before Piper, but very few had reached so deep inside her so quickly. Piper made her want to do what was necessary to remove people like Kenny from her life. The last thing Piper needed was a champion, but she’d gladly take the job if Piper offered it. “If I tell you something, will you try not to hold it against me?”

  “I can’t improve on my record of holding things against you, so I doubt it.”

  “It has to do with what you just mentioned, and it’s the answer to what you’ve asked more than once.” She looked at Piper and combed her hair behind her ear.

  “You can tell me anything.”

  “I helped you and Mac for only one reason, and you owe me only one thing in return.”

  At the word “owe,” Piper pulled violently away from her and opened the shower door to leave. “God, I’m such an idiot. Of course there’s a price. Why would I think you’d be any different? At least you ’fessed up before we had sex.”

  She’d given the money freely, and Piper wasn’t leaving until she heard why. She wrapped her hand around Piper’s bicep to keep her close. “I respect your grandfather, especially for the kind of businessman he is, but I did all this for you.” Piper still faced away from her, but she wasn’t resisting, which made her hold unnecessary. “Unless you try to sink Marmande Shipyard, you’ll never have a reason to feel you have to sacrifice yourself to someone like Kenny to keep what’s yours. I never want an animal like that to put his hands on you, unless you ask of your own free will.”

  She finally let Piper go. “What do I owe you in return?” Piper asked as she faced her.

  “I want you to be happy and strive to be whole, that’s all. Take the freedom you have now and enjoy it. You do that and you’ll never owe me a thing.”

  Piper stepped closer, but still seemed wary. “That’s all?”

  “This isn’t a trick, Piper. I’ve finished my business with Marmande, and nothing in what I gave you binds you to me.”

  “So you’re giving us millions? Forgive me for sounding skeptical, but who does that?”

  “Stop searching for angles and loopholes—you won’t find any. I just want what I asked for, but remember, the price is steeper than you think. Living a full life is more difficult than people imagine, because in most cases they plant the seed of doubt and misery themselves.”

  Piper moved under the spray with her, leaving an inch of separation. “How hard can it be to make myself happy when you’ve so freely given me everything I’ll ever need?”

  Kendal smiled before tapping a spot over Piper’s heart. “Money makes life easier, but it’ll never bring you happiness. So many have written about that subject that I don’t need to explain it to you.” She flattened her hand over Piper’s chest. “Completeness comes from within yourself. No one and, more important, no thing can give that to you.”

  It was easy to acquire wisdom, given thousands of years to live, but in her time she’d been lucky enough to meet some who learned the answers to life’s riddles in only one lifetime. A man living in the streets of Nepal had taught her the lesson she was repeating for Piper. He owned only what he was able to carry, but he believed he was wealthy because he understood what true fulfillment really was. He’d amassed knowledge, and sharing it with others only added to his bounty.

  “Once you let go of all that baggage from your past, you’ll discover true happiness. Then you can dismantle that fortress you’ve built around your heart and start to enjoy your life. With an open mind and heart, you’ll be ready to welcome the person who’ll share the rest of your days, and they’ll bring with them the love and devotion you deserve.”

  “It’s that easy, huh?”

  “Your family’s business is important to you, and you’ve become important to me, so, yes, it’s that simple,” she said, turning around for one last rinse.

  “Then thank you.” Piper pressed herself to her back and wrapped her arms around her waist. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

  “Remember,” she turned around and held Piper, enjoying the feel of her, “don’t ever share yourself with someone who makes your skin crawl, as you put it. Save that gift for the one who holds your heart and sees you. If not, at least share yourself with someone who stirs your passion.” She kissed the top of Piper’s head and let her go.

  “Who are you really?” Piper asked, holding on to her this time so she wouldn’t leave.

  “Why do you ask?”

  “Because what you say doesn’t compute with what you do. You sound like a warrior poet,” Piper said, her smile back in place and her face relaxed and open.

  “It’s my pleasure to share my life’s experiences with you.” Kendal stepped out of the shower. Behind her, Piper shut the water off, so she handed her a towel before drying herself. Piper held her towel up as if she’d suddenly become shy, so Kendal put on a hotel robe and opened the door. “I’ll leave you to finish up. Take your time, there’s no rush.”

  Giving Piper her privacy allowed Kendal time to straighten the room, so when the bathroom door opened again she was sitting on the bed with Piper’s neatly folded clothes next to her. She extended her hand in invitation to wipe the hesitation from Piper’s expression. “Time for you to go, my friend, and time for me to get back to my battles.”

  “I’m not leaving yet. I want to make sure you get some rest before you start chasing crazy people around town.”

  “If I was tired, trust me, I would, but my internal clock works differently than most.” When Piper didn’t take her hand, she held up the delicate panties on the end of one finger, but Piper still wouldn’t budge.

  “If you lie down with me for an hour, you can ask me to leave and I will,” Piper said, walking toward her. As if to encourage her to accept her offer, she lost her shyness and reached for the tie of Kendal’s robe, opening it with sure hands. Kendal went willingly when Piper eased her down on the bed and climbed in with her. Once Piper pulled the covers over them, she opened her own robe and lay almost on top of her so they were skin to skin. “Close your eyes and hold me,” Piper said, softly kissing her chin, then her lips.

  She return
ed the kiss and gladly gave Piper her wish by putting her arms around her. “Sleep now, and I promise to keep you safe.”

  Piper’s breathing hitched for a moment, but she stayed quiet, as if trying to find the right words for what was bothering her. “Don’t you want me?” she asked finally in a small, fragile voice.

  “Remember what I asked of you? This is about you and what you want, and need, so please don’t think I’m deciding for you. Right now you’re tired, which isn’t the best time to make life-altering decisions.”

  When Piper didn’t object, she began to speak again, but in Chinese so Piper would concentrate on the sound of her voice instead of her words. She recited a poem that a warrior who served one of the Chinese emperors wrote to the woman he left behind when he went to war. She carried his son in her womb, the testament to their love and his existence. His wife finished the verses for him when the boy grew to be a man and followed his father’s path into battle. The warrior never knew the boy and entered the afterlife at the end of an enemy’s sword, but his last thought was of his wife. In her face, in his mind’s eye, he found his salvation and a way to push away the pain. His killer died years later, still wondering why the man faced death with such a blissful smile.

  “Because he knew love,” she whispered to Piper, who was sleeping deeply in her arms. “It is what gives our blades courage.” She kissed Piper’s temple and closed her eyes, trying to memorize every inch of her.

  She gently rolled Piper over, not wanting to wake her, and got up to dress. If only she’d had more time. She smiled at the notion, but now she had to completely erase Piper Marmande from her mind, not only to keep her safe from Henri, but also to set her free before their feelings grew any deeper. Piper deserved someone to grow old with who would give her a life full of beauty, not the nightmares she had to face to keep the balance tipped toward the light.

  She gazed at Piper one last time, feeling the years she’d lived like a weight on her heart. Piper, more than any woman she’d known, made her imagine how special it would be to share herself with someone so beautiful in every way. Be well, Piper, and thank you for making me feel alive, she thought, then walked out the door.