by Olsen, Lisa
“Anja, we might have some problems between us, but I’ll always… help you if I can.”
For a moment there I thought he might actually admit to some real feelings for me, but it was the same old song and dance. It didn’t matter. In a way I didn’t want him to suddenly profess his undying devotion, because I was already half in love with Rob.
“Well, thanks anyway, who knows what they might’ve done with me if they’d gotten away with it.” The more I thought about it, the more I started to wonder why it was Bishop who’d gotten to me instead of Rob.
“I really need to call and check in though. Can I please see your phone?”
“I told you, it’s not safe.” He shook his head. “In a little while I’ll go make that call, but for now you need your rest.”
“I’m not going to sit around here on my bum while they’re out there worried about me. Now, if you won’t give me your phone, I’ll go out and find a payphone.” I rose to my feet, but a wave of dizziness had me closing my eyes and I let out a tiny groan. Perfect timing.
Bishop was instantly by my side, his hands holding on to my arms for support. “Hey, you’re not going anywhere. Not until I decide you’re well enough to travel.”
“I’m pretty sure I can survive a car ride back to the mansion.”
“No, I mean well enough to travel home to California.”
“Huh?” I blinked, not tracking for a moment. “I’m not going back to California, the Gathering’s not even halfway over. I’ve only had like two meetings.”
“I don’t care, you can have Felix finish up for you, or make some private arrangements. You’re not going back there until we know who’s responsible for the attack on you.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I balked. “For all we know the bad guys have already been caught.”
“Well, until we do, I’m not letting you go back there,” he said, a touch of iron seeping into his voice, but I wasn’t having it.
“It’s not up to you. Now are you going to let me see your phone or not?”
“It’s absolutely up to me until I’m sure you’re back up to par.”
“Bishop, I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”
“I think it’s pretty clear from what happened that you can’t. It’s not your fault, no one can safeguard against an attack like that. That’s why you have to stay away, don’t you see?”
I didn’t like the note of condescension that crept into his voice when he said it wasn’t my fault for getting shot. “I can see that running away isn’t going to make anything better. Whoever it is that planned this attack has to know that I’m not that easy to take out of the picture. That’s why I’m going back to the mansion tonight.”
“The hell you are.” His arms crossed over his chest, an implacable expression settling over his features.
“You’re not the boss of me.”
“I am for as long as you’re as weak as a kitten.”
“Ugh, would you stop being a bully for two minutes and listen to me? I’m telling you I want to go back.”
“How am I being a bully for looking out for your safety?”
Why was he being so obstinate? I’d be safe enough in my own suite, surrounded by my friends, most of whom would surely offer some kind of protection in a fight. I started to have the sneaking suspicion there was something else behind his reasons for keeping me there. “Why don’t you admit why you want to keep me here to yourself?”
Bishop stared at me blankly. “I just told you why you need to stay here.”
“You don’t even know, do you?” I shook my head in amazement. “You really can’t admit to yourself that there’s a reason why you might want me around, can you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The fact that you’re still in love with me and it has nothing to do with compulsion.” Suddenly I knew it was true, and from the way his eyes widened and then immediately narrowed, I could see he’d realized it too.
“That has nothing to do with it at all. This is about your safety, pure and simple.”
“I just got shot. I almost died and you still can’t admit your feelings for me are real? Are you telling me you felt nothing for me when you saw me lying there with an arrow sticking out of my chest?”
“I felt worried. Who wouldn’t be?” he hedged.
“You know, it doesn’t matter.” It occurred to me that I didn’t even care anymore. Let him be emotionally crippled all on his own. My situation with Rob might not be a bed of roses, but not because he was too scared of his own feelings to admit them. “I’m leaving, and unless you plan on conking me out like a cave man, then you’d better step out of my way.”
“If that’s what it takes.” His chin jutted out pugnaciously. “I’m not letting you go out there like this. You don’t even have any shoes, for chrissakes.”
I couldn’t stay in that stuffy room with him for one moment longer, but I knew I’d keel over in a fight if he so much as breathed hard on me. So I was forced to use the only weapon I had at my disposal. “Bishop, let me make this perfectly clear. I’m done waiting around for you to figure out what you do or don’t feel for me. I’m moving on with my life, and I suggest you do the same. So unless you can tell me in the next five seconds how sorry you are for doubting what we had was real and do some serious groveling for another chance, then you and I are done.”
Bishop’s jaw tightened as his throat worked, swallowing back whatever gut reaction he had to my challenging words. I thought for a moment he might let me have it, either haul me off to the bed and tie me up for my own safety, or possibly even kiss me, but all he did was step away from the door.
I guess I had my answer.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Barefoot, no phone, no money, I stepped out onto the streets of London in the middle of the night with absolutely no idea where in the heck I was or how I’d get home. I was embarrassingly weak. So weak that the first person I passed along laughed in my face when I tried to compel him into giving me his cell phone. I didn’t dare feed, not without being able to compel a victim into forgetting, and I couldn’t be sure I’d get that ability back after another hot meal or if it would just take some time.
Finally, someone took pity on me and let me borrow their mobile. I think the bare feet in the middle of winter was the clincher, and I tried my best to look cold and pathetic. Believe me, it wasn’t hard. The first person I called was Rob, who answered on the second ring.
“Rob?” Just hearing his voice calmed me in a way that fuzzy socks could never do.
“Anja? Is that you?” There was a mixture of frantic surprise and disbelief in his tone, which confirmed he had absolutely no idea what’d happened to me since Bishop secreted me away.
“You have somebody else you’re supposed to be protecting?”
Rob said something under his breath, I couldn’t quite catch it, the words were so smashed together. “Where are you? Are you alright?”
“I’ll be better after you’re here,” I swallowed, flashing the owner of the phone a faint smile. “Do you think you could come and pick me up? This nice man is letting me use his phone but I think he wants it back soon.”
“I’m already out the door. Where are you?”
Thank God. “I don’t actually know where I am. Excuse me, sir? Can you tell me where we are?”
“You mean, you don’t know?” he blinked at me.
“It’s alright, Anja.” Rob sounded cool and calm, and I heard the roar of a car engine on his side of the line. “Just walk to the nearest street corner and tell me what you see.”
“Um, it’s Lichfield Road and Tredegar Terrace.”
“Fine. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, stay out of sight until you see me arrive. I’m in a black Mercedes.”
“But it’s a twenty minute drive into the city at least.” It was every time I’d taken the drive.
“I’ll be there if I have to break every bloody rule of the road on my way, make no mistake about that.”
> “Thanks, Rob. I’ll be waiting.” I smiled on my end of the phone, hanging up so he’d be able to keep both hands on the wheel on his mad dash. “Thanks for letting me use your phone,” I said, handing it back to the older man.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright, dearie? I don’t feel right leaving you out here in the middle of the night without a proper coat and shoes.”
“Oh no, I’ll be fine. My friend is coming to pick me up. He’ll be here in like fifteen minutes.”
“I think I’d best wait with you then, lass. Anything could happen out here at this time of night.”
I had to smile at the old guy. What he thought he could to do to save me from an attacker, I had no idea, but I was grateful for the company. Pacing back and forth on a lonely street corner wasn’t my idea of a good time. I returned most of his efforts at chit chat, spinning the story of a date gone wrong, and listened to him tell me all about his grand-niece who’d turned up at Christmas with a spike through her nose.
A black Mercedes tore up the road, screeching to a halt in the middle of the street beside us. Rob leapt out of the car, his face intent. He didn’t say anything, just caught me up in his arms, crushing me to him in a tight embrace. When he didn’t let go after a few moments, I gently stroked the back of his neck, my head falling to rest on his shoulder.
“Hey… hey, I’m okay. I promise,” I whispered.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he said into my hair, still holding me tight.
“I’m tougher than I look, remember?”
Rob pulled back to look at me, a half smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You are at that.”
“You’ll be alright then, miss?” The old man stepped up, his face anxious. “This here’s your friend?” Rob let go of me, but stayed close to my side.
“Yes, I told you I’d be fine once he got here. Thanks again for your help, Mr. um…”
“Coopersmith. Always happy to be of assistance to a damsel in distress.” He doffed his cap to me and shuffled away.
Pulling me aside, Rob scanned the darkened street as he led me to the side of the car. But rather than opening the door, be began to check me under the streetlight, searching my face for signs of fatigue or injury. “Are you alright?” he said gruffly, his thumb brushing against the top of my cheekbone. “Do you need to feed?”
The last thing I wanted to do was try and hunt in my current shape. All I wanted to do was rest. “I’ll be fine. Bishop gave me some of his.”
His expression tightened. “Bishop did have you then. There’s been all manner of speculation as to what happened. His disappearing seemed to point a few fingers in his direction.”
They suspected Bishop of having something to do with the attack? “No, he got me out of there after… Look, I don’t want to talk about it right now,” I said with a glance up the street. What if Bishop was out there tracking me down? I really didn’t want to run into him. I didn’t think I had it in me to fight again.
Something must have shown on my face because Rob’s worry instantly kicked up a notch. “What’s wrong? Are you still hurt? I thought you said you fed.”
“I’m just tired. Almost dying will take a lot out of a girl.” I tried for a wan smile.
A car honked as it passed in the opposite lane to get around Rob’s car. “Oi, get out the road!” the driver leaned out his window to yell.
Rob gave him a two fingered salute as he passed, his expression darkening. “We need to get you off the street,” he said, herding me into the passenger’s seat. “It’s only a few minutes to my place, yeah?”
“Sure.” For as much as I’d said I wanted to get back to the mansion, mostly I just didn’t like being incommunicado from Rob and Felix. The idea of holing up with Rob in his basement apartment for the night didn’t bother me in the slightest.
The warm car and the drone of the engine lulled me into a dreamlike state, and it seemed like I’d only just closed my eyes when Rob opened the passenger door to let me out.
“I can carry you if you’re tired,” he offered, but I shook my head.
“I’ll be alright,” I insisted.
“Mind your feet then, can’t be too careful on a street like this.”
I took Rob’s advice, following him down the cramped hallway into the lower level apartment he’d inherited from his grandmother. Knowing now what I did about the woman, it seemed strange to think of him and Leila growing up there with a Granny who cared more about petty larceny than she did about her own flesh and blood.
Rob led me to the careworn furniture in the living room, which looked like it’d been frozen in time somewhere around the 1930’s. “Have a seat then, would you like a cuppa tea? I could run out and get hot chocolate if you’d rather.”
“No, tea’s fine. Sounds perfect, in fact. But I’ll come with you, I don’t want to sit out here all by myself.” Only my feet got wobbly on the way to the kitchen, and I might have ended up in a heap on the floor if not for Rob’s fast reflexes. “I’m fine,” I insisted, as his arms closed around me.
“Go on, pull the other one.” He shook his head, shifting his hold on me to keep me upright. “I should’ve known you couldn’t survive a wound like that without a proper feeding. Why didn’t you say something before?”
“Because I wasn’t sure I could manage it without a lot of noise and mess,” I admitted. “Besides, I’m not even hungry. All I really need is some more rest, I’m sure of it. Touch my forehead, I don’t even feel hot.”
Rob laid a hand to my face, moving it from my forehead to my cheek. “You don’t feel feverish, but when a vampire can’t walk from one end of the room to the other, there’s only one thing that will do, and that’s blood.”
“I’ll be fine until tomorrow. Besides, I’m not all that sure I can compel anyone to forget about it. Can you guarantee that drinking more blood will make that ability come back, or is it something that’ll take time to heal?”
His mouth pursed in speculation and I took that to mean he didn’t know either. “Fine, then you’ll have to feed from me,” he decided abruptly. “That way there’s none of that to worry about.”
That sounded like a recipe for disaster. “No, I just need to rest, I’m sure of it.”
“Why won’t you take what I’m offering?” His brows twitched together in puzzlement. “My blood is stronger than most.”
“It’s not about your quality of blood, trust me.” I’d tasted it plenty before, and the memory made me swallow, because part of me was very interested in drinking from him. “It’s because I know what it’ll mean for you. I don’t want to put you through that.” We had enough hurdles in our relationship without throwing in an awkwardly intimate thing like that. He’d already refused to take my blood in the past – what made him think this would be any less intimate?
“S’not important,” he shrugged, but I wouldn’t let him suppress his own reservations just to see to my needs.
“It is to me. Won’t it hurt you? I can’t compel you to enjoy it the way I can with regular humans.”
“It won’t hurt, not like you think.”
And that was the crux of things, wasn’t it? “Rob, I don’t want to make you more uncomfortable around me than you already are. If we do this, it’ll change things between us, and I don’t want you to leave again.”
“I won’t leave you.”
“But… you said…”
“I won’t leave you again,” he pledged, his fingers sifting through my hair. “I know what I said, and it was a hollow threat at best. I thought I could leave before and get you out of my system, but there’s a piece of you wedged in here.” Rob took my hand and laid it over his heart. “I can’t breathe without knowing I’ll see you every day. Even if it’s just to call you miss and see you pout like that.” His lips curved with amusement.
I felt it too. I didn’t think I could stand it if he went away again. “That’s why I’m afraid things will change if I drink from you.” All of a sudden I understood Bishop’s point of vi
ew when it came to Carys. “I’d rather be miserable by your side than never see you again. Wow. That’s kind of messed up, isn’t it?”
His brows drew together into a single dark line. “This isn’t what I wanted for you. You deserve more than I have to give, but let me do this one thing for you.”
“You give me more than you know.” Every night, beyond the heated looks and the occasional flirtation, his unwavering support meant more than a thousand kisses.
“I know I can’t ever be a proper man to you with Jakob hanging over our heads, but I’ll stay by your side, come what may.”
I didn’t want to hear about Jakob destroying our lives, or what might happen if we let ourselves be happy for more than five seconds. All I wanted was the man in my arms to hold me. It was enough for the moment. “Shhh, we don’t have to figure it all out right now, do we?” I cupped the side of his face with my hand, feeling the rasp of his unshaven jaw tickling my sensitive palm.
Rob leaned into my touch, his eyes never leaving mine. “Take my blood.”
I wanted to, oh, how I wanted to! If ever there was a night to taste the forbidden it was that night, where the thin veneer of need justified what we both wanted. “Are you sure?”
He scooped me up in his arms, holding me close as he carried me to the bedroom at the end of the hallway. Gently, he set me down on the coverlet and stretched out beside me. We stared at each other in the murky light streaming through the dingy basement window, bathing our skin in faintly bluish tones. Neither one of us spoke, we just savored the moment of longing and the promise of intimacy long overdue. I could see every bristle of hair in the scruff on his cheek, every fleck of gold in his hazel eyes, and the strong cords of his neck that beckoned to me.
“You know what will probably happen if we do this,” I said aloud, breaking the silence. I gave him one last chance to change his mind, because once I tasted his blood, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop until I’d had my fill. And with that hunger would come something else. Something we’d both wanted for far too long.
