Lauren Stuart. Liam’s “lady friend’s” full name was Lauren Stuart. She sounded like a real New England WASP, tall and blonde and elegant—everything Marisala was not. Marisala couldn’t squelch her jealousy. “Your life’s not my business? Forgive me, I thought we were friends.”
“We are friends. But even with friends, you have to learn not to blurt out any old question that pops into your mind.”
“That wasn’t ‘any old question.’ It was a specific question for which I wanted to know the answer. I wouldn’t have asked you something so personal if I hadn’t spent more weeks than you can remember changing your bedpan, amigo.”
“I’m not so sure of that.”
“Believe me, it was weeks.”
“I’m not talking about the bedpans, I’m talking about you saying whatever you want, whenever you want. That’s what you need to work on, and I want you to start by practicing with me.”
“But in the jungle—”
“Our friendship is different here than it was in the jungle. Back then, Mara, we shared everything, even after I stopped needing bedpan service. Clothes, blankets—the food we ate.” He looked at her over the tops of his sunglasses and tried to get her to smile. “Sometimes we shared the food we ate long after we ate it. Remember Rafe’s famous beans? Living in such close quarters, we shared more than we should have.”
They had shared just about everything—except for what she truly wanted. They hadn’t shared their need for physical comfort, for physical love. As they’d spent night after night in that tiny shelter, Marisala had ached for him to kiss and touch her. She had longed for him to temporarily transport her away from the death and destruction they lived with, day in and day out.
But he never had.
It was true, she had been only seventeen and still inexperienced when Liam had left the island. She hadn’t known what love could be between a man and a woman. If she had, she would have convinced him—somehow—to share such a miracle with her.
“Is she beautiful, this Lauren? May I ask that?”
“Yes, and yes. She’s a very beautiful woman.”
Woman. Lauren was a woman, while Marisala was not—at least not in Liam’s eyes. He still thought of her as a child.
And it was only a matter of time before she woke up in the night to hear the soft sounds of female laughter as Liam brought this beautiful Lauren Stuart up to his room. It was only a matter of time before Marisala came face-to-face with Liam’s lover over the breakfast table.
She glanced at her watch. If they didn’t hurry, they were going to be late for her appointment. And suddenly her search for an apartment of her own seemed imperative—moving out of Liam’s condo was of the utmost urgency.
“I’m sorry,” Liam said to the goatee-wearing young man who’d shown them into an extremely cluttered living room. Dan. He’d introduced himself as Dan. “I think maybe I’ve misunderstood. You’re not moving out of this place?”
“He’s renting out only one of the rooms,” Marisala explained. “See, this house has four bedrooms—”
“Five,” Dan interjected.
“And one of them is empty. For only two hundred and fifty dollars a month, I could become a housemate. I’d have to share the kitchen and living areas, but—”
“Hey, we’re friendly.” Dan smiled at Marisala. His teeth were straight and white. “No one bites—at least not too hard. Come on, you want to see the room?”
“Are you a student, Dan?” Liam followed them. He hated this. Marisala moving into a house with strange people—one of them being this man—was a bad idea.
“I’m in law school. Northeastern.” Dan answered him politely, but then turned back to Marisala as he led the way up a flight of stairs. “I hope you like the room. You’re exactly what we’ve been looking for. You’ll have to meet the others, but I think they’ll fall in love with you right away too. I can’t believe you’re actually from San Salustiano. That was some intense stuff that was going on there a few years back. That’s Ed’s room. He’s in law school with me.” Dan pointed to the open doorways of the rooms they passed. “And this one’s Bill and Jodie’s. Bill plays bass in a rock band, and Jodie’s a potter. Deede’s in here. She teaches over at the League School. This is my room, and this one would be yours.”
Dan pushed open the last door at the end of the hallway with a flourish.
Marisala’s “room” was right next to Dan’s. Now, wasn’t that damned convenient?
“I remember you said on the phone you’re a freshman over at the university,” Dan continued as he followed Marisala into the empty little room. “This place is just a short ride from the campus.”
It was tiny. There wasn’t enough room for Liam to go in, too, so he stood in the doorway, looking in, feeling his frustration mounting.
“I’d have to get a bed,” Marisala mused. “But not a big one—it wouldn’t fit.”
She moved toward the window at the end of the room.
Backlit the way she was, with the light coming in through the window, she looked unearthly and angelic. Her dark hair took on gleaming overtones and her face looked so sweet, Liam’s chest ached.
He hated the way Dan was looking at her with barely hidden, very male appreciation in his eyes. It wasn’t disrespectful, though. On the contrary, Dan seemed very nice. But Liam knew from the look on the man’s face that Dan wouldn’t be satisfied with having Marisala as only a housemate.
Not that he blamed Dan. There was no doubt about it, Marisala was extraordinarily beautiful. And nice. And funny and smart and kind and…
And her lips were so soft and her mouth was so kissable, it took all that Liam had to keep himself from dragging her into his arms and kissing her again. He wanted to kiss her until she melted against him and gazed up at him with eyes heavy-lidded with heat and desire—until Dan got the hint and never, ever looked at her so hungrily again.
Dan was talking. Apparently the man never shut up. He was going on and on about weekend parties and going out to see Bill or whoever’s band play and playing basketball on Tuesday nights over at the roommate named Deede’s school gym.
Marisala was listening, nodding, smiling up into Dan’s hazel eyes, and something inside of Liam snapped. “This isn’t going to work.” His voice came out sounding much sharper and rougher than he’d intended.
Both Marisala and Dan turned to look at him in surprise, almost as if they’d forgotten he was standing there.
“Mara, we better go. I’m sorry, Dan. We’ve wasted your time.”
Dan looked from Marisala to Liam and back again. “But—”
“Santiago would never let you live here.” Liam knew the moment it was out of his mouth that it was absolutely the most wrong thing in the world to say.
Marisala’s chin came up and her eyes sparked, and she turned to face Dan. “I’m interested. Tell me, what’s the next step?”
“If you’re free, you could come back tonight and meet everyone. In fact, you’re welcome to come for dinner—”
Liam stepped forward. “Sorry, Marisala’s busy tonight.” That was also the wrong thing to say, but once he’d started, he couldn’t seem to stop.
Dan lifted an eyebrow. “I think I asked Marisala—not you,” he said coolly, straightening to his full height as he gazed at Liam.
There was real strength in the young man’s unswerving gaze. He may not have been as tall as Liam. He may not have been as solidly built. But he wasn’t about to let anyone push him—or Marisala—around. That much was clear from the set of his shoulders.
In any other situation, Liam would have liked Dan. They probably would have been friends. But right now all he wanted to do was to slam his fist into the younger man’s face. Thankfully, he was able to resist that urge, but he was unable to stop himself from taking a threatening step forward. “I answered for her,” he told Dan tightly. “As her guardian, I’m telling her right now that this is not the right apartment.”
Dan didn’t back down. In fact, he steppe
d forward, too, moving slightly as if his intention was to protect Marisala from Liam. “I don’t know where you’re from, pal, but this is America. And Marisala looks old enough to me to make her own decisions.”
Seeing this kid act as if Liam were the one Marisala needed protection from was outrageous. And when Dan met Marisala’s eyes and smiled reassuringly, Liam laughed out loud.
“Keep your pants zipped, Dan. She hasn’t moved in yet.”
Marisala’s mouth dropped open. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard Liam say. Despite the smile on his face, his eyes were steely cold and he was staring at Dan as if he wanted to break him in half.
What was wrong with him? She’d never seen him like this before. If she didn’t know better, she would think that he was jealous.
Jealous?
Mother of God, he was jealous. Liam was actually jealous.
The confusion that hit her was so overwhelming, she couldn’t do more than allow herself to be dragged along when Liam took her hand and none too gently pulled her with him out of the room.
If he was jealous, that meant…
“Marisala, I don’t know who this guy is, but you don’t have to put up with this.” Dan was following them, concern in his pretty green eyes. “If you need some kind of help—”
“I have to apologize for Liam,” Marisala called back to Dan as Liam all but threw her over his shoulder and carried her out the front door. “He’s been taking this guardian thing much too seriously. He thinks just because my uncle asked him for a favor, he’s got to—”
The screen door slammed behind them as Liam pulled her by the wrist across the porch and down the steps to the sidewalk and his car.
“…he’s got to pretend that this fire we feel every time he touches me doesn’t exist,” Marisala finished in a much softer voice.
He tried to drop her hand, but this time she was the one who wouldn’t let go. He closed his eyes. “Marisala, don’t.”
He wouldn’t look at her and she knew with a flash of triumph that he couldn’t. If he did, she’d see all of the desire and longing he was trying so hard to hide.
“You’re jealous,” she said, still unable fully to believe it herself. “You’re jealous of Dan.”
“No,” Liam said, but he didn’t sound very convinced as he finally pulled free from her grasp.
Up at the house, Dan had come out onto the porch. He lit a cigarette and pretended he was out there to smoke, but it was obvious he was there to watch them.
Liam unlocked the passenger door of his car and opened it wide. “Just get in.”
“You don’t want me to live there because you think Dan wants to be my lover.”
He glanced up at the house, up at Dan, and the muscles in the side of his jaw jumped. “I know that’s what he wants.”
“I think you’re wrong. I think you’re projecting what you want onto him.”
He closed his eyes as if doing so would keep him from understanding her words. “What I want is for you to get into the car.”
“Would it really be that terrible?” She brought his hand to her lips then pressed the softness of his palm against her cheek. “You know, you and me?”
He stood very, very still.
“We used to be honest with each other,” she whispered. “Why should we lie about this?”
Liam turned toward her then, and for the first time since she saw him at the airport, he let her truly look into his eyes. “I don’t know what the truth is anymore. Everything’s so complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“I can’t change the way I feel. And the thought of acting upon this…attraction”—he had trouble getting the word out—“feels really wrong to me.”
“Maybe it would simplify things.”
He pulled away from her, exhaling loudly. It was almost a laugh. “I doubt that.”
From the porch, Dan called, “Marisala, is everything all right?”
“She’s fine,” Liam called back. “Everything’s fine.”
Everything was not fine. How could he say that?
Liam turned to her, all of the fire and pain in his eyes once again carefully concealed. “Please. Just get in the car.”
She did, setting her bag on the floor beneath her legs and fastening the seat belt.
This was what Liam was supposed to teach her. This was what Santiago wanted her to learn to do. He wanted her to learn to smile and say that everything was fine, even when it wasn’t. Especially when it wasn’t.
Liam got in beside her and started the engine with a roar.
He was so wrong. If they became lovers, if he came to her room tonight, the entire world and all of its problems would disappear. There would be only Liam and only Marisala, together in the simplicity of their shared pleasure and passion.
She glanced at him as he drove. His jaw was tight, his mouth a thin line. He kept his eyes firmly on the road, as if he were afraid to meet her gaze.
And he was afraid, she realized. He was terrified of the palpable attraction that flared to life between them whenever their eyes met, whenever they were even in the same room.
And she knew with absolute certainty that it was only a matter of time before she broke through his defenses—particularly since they were sharing his condo.
Even though just that morning Marisala had longed to find her own apartment, she now wished fervently for the opposite. With any luck, she’d never find a place good enough or clean enough or safe enough to satisfy Liam.
“Hey, check it out.” Liam hit the brakes and pulled sharply to the side of the road.
Out in front of one of the triple-decker houses that lined the side street a man was making adjustments to a sign that was standing in the tiny yard. In large red letters, it read, APARTMENT FOR RENT.
Liam lowered Marisala’s window with the push of one button and leaned across her to call to the man. “Excuse me! Are you putting that up or taking it down?”
“Up,” the man said, his gaze flicking over Liam’s expensive car. “You looking? I could show you the place right now if you want.”
“It’s not a basement apartment, is it?” Marisala asked hopefully.
“Nope. Second floor. One bedroom. Nice and bright.”
“Excellent.” Liam pulled up the parking brake. “Is this luck, or is this luck?” he asked Marisala as he put the window back up and shut off the engine.
Unfortunately, it no longer was the kind of luck she was hoping for. She climbed out of Liam’s car, knowing with a sense of ironic resignation that this apartment was going to be absolutely perfect.
It was.
It was clean, it was bright, it was well kept, and it was within her price range. There were no bugs, no holes in the wall, no leaky sinks or blocked plumbing.
It was, however, currently occupied.
Liam pulled her aside in the kitchen. “I think you should tell this guy yes right now. If you wait, even a few hours, this apartment’ll be gone.”
“When do you need to move in?” the landlord called from the living room. “The current tenants told me they’d stay until October fifteenth if I couldn’t find a new tenant by then. I know they’d probably be willing to move out a few weeks earlier if you needed to get in here. They’re definitely going to be here until the end of September, but you could probably move in on October first if that’s convenient.”
October first was an entire month away. Marisala felt a surge of hope. Maybe…
Liam was shaking his head as he went into the living room. “We really need something immediately, but…” He looked around, then glanced back at Marisala. “What do you think? Could you stand to wait until October first?”
She pretended to think about it, taking her time to look around the living room too. It had more than its share of windows, and the bright sunshine made the room look spacious and inviting.
“This place is nice…. And a month isn’t really that long.” A month was a very long time. Surely within a month she
would be able to break down Liam’s resistance. Surely, after even just a few more days of living in the same condo, she would be able to convince him to give in to the desire she now knew he was burying deep inside.
But as if he could somehow read her mind, Liam shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe we should keep looking.”
That would be okay too. She shrugged. “If you think that’s best.”
“On the other hand, we might never find another place this nice.”
Marisala crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. “This really shouldn’t be my decision,” she told him. “I would have been happy to live in more than half of the apartments you vetoed.”
Liam laughed ruefully. “Yeah, I know. I’m the head-case. But it should be your decision, Mara. What do you want to do? Just because I like this place doesn’t mean you have to like it too.”
If she had her choice, she’d prefer living in a busy house filled with roommates. Like Dan’s. Or like Liam’s, especially now that Inez and Hector were around.
“Can you handle having me live in your place for an entire month?”
He hesitated only very slightly. “Yeah,” he said. “I can handle it.”
Marisala gazed into his eyes, marveling at the way he could keep all of his emotions, all of his doubts and fears and desires safely hidden from her.
“Okay,” she said, turning to the landlord. “I’ll take it.”
She’d take it, and pray that a month really was enough time. One thing was for certain: October first was further away than September first—the date by which she’d expected to move out of Liam’s house. And she also knew that the longer she stayed with him, the better her chances were of getting under his skin.
And maybe, just maybe, a little bit into his heart.
SIX
LIAM WAS BACK in the prison. It was dark, he could barely see, but he recognized the overpowering smell and the pervasive dampness.
Confusion nearly knocked him over. No, he couldn’t be back here. This couldn’t be real. Could it?
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