by Eric Asher
“Faith darling, you don’t need to have any cosmetic surgery. You are beautiful the way you are. Don’t you see that yourself?”
“Mum I am not. I know what I see when I look in the mirror. I haven’t had a boyfriend in years, I suppose nobody wants me. I never walk into a room and make people turn to stare at me. I want to be able to do that at least once in my life.”
“To me you do that every day. I always see people looking at you when you walk in a room, you just don’t see it yourself.”
“They stare because I’m fat and ugly Mum, not for any positive reasons.”
“That’s not true.”
“Well I believe it to be true, so I have booked an appointment next week to see the cosmetic surgeon.” She starts to interrupt me and I hold up my hand, she closes her mouth and smiles a little. “I have an appointment with a cosmetic dentist this week. I am going to see about braces or veneers for my teeth.”
“Well it sounds like you have been busy Faith. Maybe you don’t need to have that much work done, maybe you could just go and see a personal stylist or something and maybe change your hair, makeup and style of your clothes. That might be enough for you instead of doing all this surgery and nonsense.”
I smile at her. “I know you worry about me mum but I have wanted to do this for a while and I feel ready for it now.”
“Well if you are sure then I will back you one hundred percent.” She smiles at me and takes me into a hug.
We hear a loud shout from the lounge and we both run in to find dad with the cabinet assembled and trying to hang it on the wall on his own. “Dad what are you doing? I didn’t mean for you to hang it yourself.” I walk over and help him to hold it while he screws it into place.
After another hour we have finished assembling and hanging and I have to say it looks fabulous. We all sit down to the dinner that mum has made. She doesn’t ask me to tell dad what I have planned; I know she will tell him when they are on their own.
Before I know it, it’s Thursday morning and I am off to the cosmetic dentist. I am excited and can’t wait to see what he has to offer me. I drive over to his office and after parking I go and check in at reception.
I get called to go through to see the dentist and I am shocked that it is a woman. She stands as I walk through and shakes my hand “Hi Faith I’m Joan, take a seat.”
She indicates for me to sit down and again I am surprised because it is not the dentist chair that I imagined, it is a very comfortable armchair on the opposite side of her desk.
“So what brings you here today Faith? What are you looking to have done?”
“Well I don’t know really, I was thinking about discussing with you about braces and veneers. My teeth are a bit sticky out and I want to bring them all to the same colour and whiten them up. I didn’t know if veneers were the right way to do that. I’ve wanted my teeth straightened for a long time.” I’m waffling because I’m nervous, I don’t really like the dentist.
“Why now? Why this week? If you have wanted the work doing for a while then why now?”
I laugh. “My aunt died and left me some money and I’ve decided to make some changes to my life, and this is one thing that I always wanted to do. I’m scared of the dentist, but I know I need to do it for myself.”
She laughs. “There is nothing to be afraid of. I’ll talk you through everything. Right I’ll take you through to the clinic and we can have a look at how your teeth are now and what we can do to remedy them, if we need to.”
She stands up, indicating for me to follow her, I stand and do just that. She opens a door and we walk into her clinic and I see the dreaded chair. I hate that chair. She beckons for me to sit down.
“Now I’m going to lean the chair back and then I want you to open your mouth so that I can do a full check and then we can talk teeth.” She laughs; she obviously uses this joke all the time. But as you all know you can’t laugh very well when you have your mouth open and she is sticking a pointy thing in there.
She examines all my teeth and makes notes; she makes me close my mouth so that she can see how my teeth lay when I bite down.
“OK Faith, come back through to my office and we can talk about what work you need.”
I follow her through, glad to get out of the clinic and that stupid chair.
“So, we need one filling, some cleaning and then we can make a start on the straightening of your teeth.”
“That’s good I thought I might need more work because I hate coming to the dentist.”
“No you’ve looked after your gnashers very well. I’ll book you in for another appointment next week where we will do your filling, scale and polish your teeth and if you still want them straightening then I will take a mould of your teeth.”
“Ok that’s perfect.”
“Now you need to think about what kind of braces you want, we do a few different ones. Do you want the train track kind?”
“No definitely not.” I know that I will think of Ugly Betty every time I look in the mirror.
“What about the Invisaligns? She asks.”
“I’ve never heard of that, what is it?”
“Well it’s quite new and it’s almost invisible, they are removable so that you can take it out to eat and clean your teeth as normal.”
“I like the sound of that. No one would be able to see them?”
“If they are looking for them, then they will see them, but if they don’t know you have them, then they certainly wouldn’t notice.”
“How do they work?”
“We change the aligner every two to three weeks and your teeth gradually move into the correct alignment.”
“That’s what I want, they sound perfect.”
“Great” she looks at her diary. “What about Monday morning then for the first lot of work and the mould of your teeth to get the aligner made.”
“I’m so excited now I can’t wait.”
She stands up and I do the same. She holds out her hand. “Thank you Faith, I look forward to seeing you on Monday.”
I shake her hand and leave feeling much happier than I did when I woke up this morning.
This is it; this is the start of the rest of my life.
I decide to go to Blanchardstown Shopping Centre to have a look around. When I stop for coffee, I look up local slimming classes on my phone and see one that is running Monday evening in my local Community Centre, Slimming World. I take a note of the time and then I take the last bite out of my scone and decide to go and see about a Personal Shopper.
I am so happy; I can feel everything falling into place. I smile to myself thinking about Jake and how he will be so surprised when he sees me. I hope he likes it and I just know that he will be sorry for the way he treated me and he will want to be with me.
I find the office for the Personal Shopper and talk to a lady called Bridie.
“Hi, I am looking to update my wardrobe. I am going through some changes in my life right now and feel that I need to change my outward appearance as well as what’s inside. I want you to know though that I am starting with Slimming World next week so I will be losing weight.”
“You sound like a very determined woman who knows what she wants. That’s good. Well we offer a few services that might interest you. We can just look at your wardrobe or we can do a full image consultation and look at hairstyle, colour, make up, the works.”
“Yeah I want it all” I laugh and explain to her about Auntie Jenny and the gifts she left to me.
“That’s so beautiful, now if you are going to be dieting we could wait for a few months before we change your wardrobe or we can start by picking only a few items that could be part of your staple wardrobe until you lose the weight. Although, I don’t really think you need to lose weight you look beautiful the way your are.”
“Thank you but I feel like I need to do this for me. I have been given an opportunity of a lifetime to make myself into the person I have always wanted to be. I am going to take that opportu
nity and run with it and see where it takes me.”
We spend the next two hours going in and out of the shops and trying on lots of different clothes, and shoes to try and establish a style that suits the new me. I am having so much fun and I can’t wait to see Mum and show her the new things I have bought.
I make an appointment to go back in a month’s time to see how I’ve got on with the slimming and hopefully to get some more clothes for my new wardrobe.
When I leave the Shopping Centre I am smiling. I feel so happy. I can feel tears pricking my eyes because I have wanted this for so long, I just know that these feelings will be just as overwhelming when Jake see me, and wants me.
I go to Mums for dinner and she loves everything I bought and is excited about the Invisaligns too.
After dinner we are sat in the lounge and she asks me “did you read the book that Jenny left you?”
“No I didn’t I know that story so well, I don’t need to read it.”
“I know you do, but she told you to look behind the words and you will find their true meaning. Maybe there is a hidden message in the words of the story.”
“Mum, it’s called the Ugly Duckling, are you trying to tell me something?”
“But Faith he turns into a Swan, maybe that’s what she thought of you. Do you have the book with you?”
“I do, I haven’t taken it out of my bag since the first night we got it, I totally forgot about it.”
I reach into my bag and pull out the book, we open it carefully and mum reads the story to me. I feel like that Ugly Duckling, the only difference is I am trying to change into the beautiful swan, it won’t happen naturally for me. I don’t mind that though, as long as I turn into the beautiful swan at the end.
“Mum it’s been so long since I heard that story, it really is beautiful.”
She smiles, closes the book and hugs me. “Come on it’s time for bed, do you want to stay?”
“Yeah I think I will because I have my new clothes with me so I’ll be fine in the morning. I don’t have any plans tomorrow anyway so we can just spend some time maybe searching for clues about Philip. What do you reckon?”
“I think that sounds like a great idea.”
We say our goodnights and then I go to bed. While I’m laid in bed, I lay looking at the ceiling thinking about Auntie Jenny and all these things we have found out about her that none of us knew. Why did she keep these things secret?
While we are having breakfast my phone rings, I answer it and it is A New You.
“Hi Faith, I’m just ringing because we have had a cancellation today if that’s not too short notice.”
“Wow, that would be great, what time?”
“Can you make it to us in an hour?”
“Yes, yes of course I can.”
We finalise the details and I start to feel excited. “Mum this is it, this is the day that I have been waiting for. Today I will change my whole life forever.”
Mum laughs at me. “It’s good to see you so happy but don’t get too excited. Surgery isn’t easy you know Faith, it might not be the right thing to do.”
“I know Mum but at least I am going to find out.”
I quickly have a shower and get dressed in some of my new clothes. Bridie was right, it does make a difference to wear clothes that enhance my figure and not hide it.
On the drive over to A New You all I can think about is becoming this tall, leggy, buxom blonde, just how Jake loves his women. It makes me smile to think about the changes I am going to make after today.
I go into the offices of A New You and when I walk up to reception there is a beautiful tall, leggy blonde sitting there. I think this is just to rub salt into the wounds.
“Ah you must be Faith, so happy you could make it at such short notice. I’m Beverley but everyone calls me Bev” she tells me as she holds her hand out for me to shake.
“Thank you for ringing me and giving me this appointment. I’m nervous.”
“That’s pretty normal. Don’t worry Dr. Whyte will put you at ease.” She smiles and indicates for me to follow her down a small corridor to a room, where she opens the door and asks me to go in.
“Thank you” I say, looking at her before walking inside. There sat behind the desk is the most handsome man I have ever seen. My mouth is dry and I don’t know what to say to him. He is wearing a grey three-piece suit, which makes him even more attractive; he has dark brown hair which is kind of brushed off his face. He has a small beard, very neatly cut with a little bit coming down from his bottom lip, which is full and succulent. His eyes are a beautiful blue colour that sparkle and I know that he is full of mischief.
He smiles, stands up and walks around the table to shake my hand. “Faith, it is so good to see you, thank you for coming at short notice. We don’t always get to fill cancellations and I end up sitting around for an hour or so and get bored of my own company.” He laughs.
I still can’t speak. I just smile at him. His hand is still being extended; I look down at him and then back up to his face. He smiles and I realise he is expecting me to shake his hand. I slowly reach out and my hand slips into his bigger one. As soon as his hand engulfs mine I feel something, like a shot of electricity shooting up my arm. It is so strong I pull my hand away and wipe it on my trousers.
When I look up at him he looks bewildered and he is wiping his hand too. Strange!
“Sit down Faith and let’s have a chat.”
I sit down and still don’t say anything. He chuckles.
“So, do you want to know my credentials first or do you want to tell me why such a pretty woman like yourself is doing here.”
I start to laugh, he’s made me feel at ease “Do you use that line often Doctor?”
“Yeah that did sound a bit corny” he laughed.
“Yes it did. Well I’ve always thought of myself as being someone that no one takes any notice of and I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want to change my imperfections so that they become something I’m not embarrassed about. Does that make sense?”
“Yes it does Faith. A lot of people come in here wanting to change their faces and bodies to be somebody that they’ve always wanted to become. That doesn’t mean it is the right thing for them to do. There are other ways to bring out your true personality.”
“I know that and I have already been to see a cosmetic dentist about straightening and whitening my teeth so that I am not embarrassed when I smile. I went to see a personal shopper yesterday and I am starting with Slimming World on Monday.” I can’t believe I told him all of that, but he has made me feel so comfortable that I feel I can tell him everything.
“That’s good, I’m glad you realise that there are some things that can be done by you that can’t be done by me or anyone else. Sometimes those things are enough to make you feel better about yourself.”
“I already feel a little bit better but it’s not enough Doctor, it’s just not enough.”
“OK so what kind of treatment are you looking for?”
“I’m not sure really. I had thought about a nose job because I have a bump on the ridge and then I was thinking of maybe breast enlargement.” I blush when I say the word and see him looking down to my breasts. I suppose he is entitled to do that. He is making notes on his iPad and then looks up at me and makes a noise of encouragement to continue.
“The biggest change I want to make is a facelift.” I hear him start to make a noise. “Please let me explain. I want to change my face; it doesn’t open any doors for me. I have saggy eyelids, flabby jowls and want to have higher cheekbones, ones that are noticeable when I walk in a room. I never have anyone look at me, I want to be able to walk in a room and for people to turn and look at me in awe. That’s my dream.”
I lift my eyes from the floor where they had been when I had been talking and I see him staring at me intently. I blush. He looks like he is undressing me with his eyes.
“The way I see it Faith is that you are lacking in confidences and y
ou don’t really need those changes to be made. Having surgery is drastic and sometimes unnecessary. So, bearing that in mind, we always have counseling sessions to discuss the real reasons why you want these changes. We need to get down to the nitty gritty and decide if this is the only solution.”
“I know it is Doctor, there is no alternative for me.”
“Please call me Toby, if this is the right treatment for you then we will be getting to know each other very well over the next few months.” He smiles and it lights up the room.
“T… Toby, I know this is the right thing but do I really need to do the counseling?”
He laughs. “Of course you do, even the A-Listers have to do it.”
“Oh ok, it was worth a try though wasn’t it.”
He laughs and nods his head “yes it was. So when will we book you in for your first counseling session? I see you already have an appointment for Tuesday morning, do you want to make it then?”
“Yes, yes I know you are fully booked out so yes let’s make it then.”
“Great that’s sorted. Now go off and have a great weekend and I’ll see you on Tuesday morning.” He stands and walks over to me as I stand up. He puts his hand on my lower back and leads me out to reception. When we get there he takes my hand and holds it tight this time. He looks me in the eye and says “it was a pleasure and I look forward to talking with you again.”
“Thank you so much, me too.” He eventually gives me my hand back and it feels cold.
I leave the clinic and drive home, my mind is spinning thinking about everything he said. I am just through the door and my phone rings, it’s my friend Janie from work, well my old job now.
“Hi Faith, how are you? I only just heard what happened to you on Monday.”
“Really? It’s Friday.”
“Sasha told us that you were on holiday this week as well, but then I over heard her and Jake arguing about it.”
“Really what was he saying about me? Does he miss me?”
“Faith, he is an arrogant prick, we’ve all told you that. You need to stop thinking about him in a positive way. Apparently Sasha was moaning about the workload, and all of his work that he expects her to do, and that she thought he should do some of it himself. He was not impressed and I heard him say “Well Faith would have done it”. Sasha did not like that.”
