Boris cleared his throat. “Actually, we have decided that once spring arrives, she will travel to Russia. The Czar has always wished for me to join his personal guard, and Janet will soon become accustomed to St. Petersburg. My only concern is whether St. Petersburg will survive Janet.”
“You intend to wed?”
“She has not yet agreed to a formal arrangement, stubborn wench, but I have great confidence in my talents of persuasion.”
“Good God.”
Boris laughed at his shock. “Are you surprised because you assumed I would never wed or by the knowledge that there is a female willing to have me?”
“It never occurred to me that you would ever wish for a family.”
“I doubt that it occurs to any man, until he encounters a woman who can reveal the pleasure to be found in such a commitment.”
Edmond crossed to slap his friend on the shoulder, ignoring the hollow ache in the pit of his stomach.
“I shall miss having you at my side, old friend.”
“Not if you have the sense to accept what is obvious to all.”
“Christ, not you, too.”
Boris studied him with a somber expression. “You have battled against the hope of happiness long enough. It is time to lay down your weapons and accept what the heavens have offered.”
“It is not so simple.”
“Yes, Summerville, it is precisely that simple.”
IT WAS NEARING LUNCHEON when the door to the bedchamber was pressed open and Vanya entered, her smile not entirely hiding her concern as she crossed the room and perched on the edge of the bed.
Brianna swallowed a sigh as she pressed herself higher on the mound of pillows behind her. She knew her lethargy was worrisome to her hostess, but for the moment, she could not seem to battle her way through the cloud of fog that held her captive. She was certain, however, that it was a passing sensation, and that soon she would be back on her feet and prepared to confront whatever life might offer.
Unfortunately, she seemed destined to cause poor Vanya an inordinate amount of bother until she could shake off her lassitude. Something she would have given a great deal to avoid.
“Brianna, my dear, this simply cannot continue,” the older woman chided.
Expecting the customary words of comfort, Brianna was caught off guard by the soft but unmistakable reprimand.
“I beg your pardon?”
Vanya folded her hands in her lap. “For your information, I have long been considered one of the most superb hostesses in all of St. Petersburg. Indeed, an invitation to my New Year’s ball is the most sought-after ticket in town. Now, I begin to fear that having you fade to a mere wisp will destroy my reputation beyond repair. Already there are whispers that I am starving you.”
“You know very well I adore your cook’s creations. She is nothing less than an artist with gingerbread. I just am…not hungry.”
Reaching out, Vanya grasped Brianna’s hand in a tight grip. “Is it the babe? Are you queasy?”
Pain briefly stabbed through the haze that surrounded her. “There is to be no babe.”
“You are certain?”
“I am bleeding.”
“Oh, my dear.” Vanya studied Brianna’s pale features with a hint of sympathy. “You know it is very possible that you were never with child?”
Brianna had, of course, considered the possibility. She’d had nothing to occupy her mind beyond brooding on the past few days. Oddly, it did not truly matter if there had ever been an actual child or not. She mourned the loss, regardless of the truth.
“Yes, I know.”
“And no doubt it is for the best.”
“No doubt.”
Vanya sighed, her expression troubled as she squeezed Brianna’s fingers so tightly her rings threatened to cut into her skin.
“Enough is enough, my dear. What can I do to please you?”
Surprising both Vanya and herself, Brianna shoved aside the heavy covers and moved to the edge of the mattress. Enough truly was enough. Ignoring the weakness in her knees and the twinge of pain in her healing shoulder, she shoved herself to her feet and charted a wobbly path to the window overlooking the garden.
It felt astonishingly refreshing to be out of the bed, despite the chill from the frosty panes, and with a pleased sigh, she sank onto the thick cushion of the window seat.
“Brianna?”
At Vanya’s prompting, Brianna turned her head to meet the older woman’s anxious gaze.
“I want to go home,” she said, simply.
“Home?” Vanya appeared strangely baffled by the request. “To England?”
“Yes.”
“But…” Giving a shake of her head, Vanya moved to sit next to Brianna on the window seat. “You must know such a thing is impossible. At least at the moment.”
Brianna blinked at the blunt refusal. “Why?”
“Not only is your health far too delicate to undertake such a journey, but the weather will not improve for some months.”
Months.
“I cannot remain here for such a length of time,” she breathed.
“I fear you have little choice.” Vanya directed a pointed glance toward the window that revealed a landscape layered with ice and snow. “Even the most seasoned traveler would balk at daring a Russian winter. You would be fortunate if the worst you suffered was being stranded at some uncomfortable inn, perhaps for weeks.”
Brianna bit her bottom lip. Like any true Englishwoman she found it difficult to comprehend just how savage and unforgiving a Russian winter could truly be. Or perhaps she simply did not want to comprehend.
Her hands clenched in her lap as she tried to avoid the knowledge she was well and truly trapped.
“There must be some means for me to find passage.”
Vanya smiled ruefully at the edge of horror in her voice. “Well, my dear, I must admit to being more than a trifle offended. Not only do you starve yourself until you are a mere wraith, but now you become hysterical at the thought you might be my guest for the next few weeks. Anyone could be forgiven for presuming that I am nothing less than a monster.”
A rueful chuckle was wrenched from Brianna. “Good lord, no one would ever believe you have treated me with anything but utter kindness, Vanya. Far more kindness than I deserve.” She reached out to pat her companion’s hand, a lump forming in her throat. “If things had been different, then perhaps…”
“If Edmond had been different, you mean?”
“Among a great many things, including myself,” Brianna muttered.
There was a brief hesitation, as if Vanya was considering her words. Then, sucking in a deep breath, she came to her decision.
“My dear, I think, if you will give him the opportunity, that Edmond will prove that he has changed,” she said, ignoring the manner in which Brianna stiffened at the mere mention of his name. “Or at least, he has the potential to change with your assistance.”
“Thank you, Vanya, but perhaps I should be allowed to speak for myself,” a deep male voice echoed through the room.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
IT WAS PRECISELY AS SHE HAD feared, Brianna realized as Edmond strolled into the room and her heart gave a familiar leap of excitement. Her deadened sense of unreality was crumbling to allow her raw, aching emotions to be exposed.
This was why she had to flee St. Petersburg.
Good lord, he had only to walk into the room for her pulse to pound and her body to tremble in anticipation of his ravishment. And when he smiled in her direction…her entire world seemed a brighter place.
The only way to salvage any peace for her future was to find the means to return to England and the life that she had planned for so long. That was surely preferable to allowing Edmond to become an even more vital part of her existence.
Perhaps sensing her sudden flare of distress, Vanya gently patted her hand before rising to her feet and flashing Edmond a stern frown.
“I shall allow you to speak for yoursel
f only if you promise not to make a complete hash of it.”
Edmond grimaced, thrusting a hand through his tousled hair. In truth, he appeared remarkably disheveled, with his cravat hanging loose to reveal the smooth column of his neck and his jaw shadowed with unshaven whiskers. If it were not so ridiculous, she would have thought he had slept in his current attire.
“I am not about to bind myself to such a promise. Not when history has taught me that my renowned skills in negotiation do not seem to impress Miss Quinn,” he said wryly. “I do, however, believe I would prefer to knot my own noose as to have you do it for me.”
“As you wish.”
Moving forward, Vanya paused just long enough to pat Edmond on the cheek before sweeping from the room and closing the door behind her.
Taking advantage of the brief distraction, Brianna scurried back to the bed and tugged the covers over her shivering body. It was not the chill in the air, or even the lingering weakness that sent her diving beneath the blankets, but instead, an odd sense of vulnerability as Edmond regarded her with a gaze that was unnerving in its intensity.
Although Edmond did nothing to prevent her dive to safety, he prowled forward to peer down at her with a twisted smile.
“You really do look like the little mouse I have always called you, with your wide eyes and nose twitching just above the edge of the covers. Do you fear that I am about to pounce upon you?”
“I have learned not to try and predict what you might do.”
“No doubt wise.” Without warning he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, his slender fingers running a path of pure fire down her cheek. “So pale. Mon dieu. If you wish to punish me by not eating, you have succeeded, Brianna,” he said huskily. “I have scoured all of St. Petersburg in an effort to discover some treat to tempt you, and yet each offering has been returned to the kitchen with barely a nibble.”
Brianna managed to hide the flood of warmth at the realization that he had been responsible for those exotic delicacies that had been delivered on her tray.
“It was not my intent to punish you. Is there something you need, Edmond?”
There was a moment’s hesitation before his voice floated softly on the air.
“You.”
Her breath caught at the simple word. “I…” She was forced to halt and clear her throat. “I beg your pardon?”
Brianna expected him to laugh and brush aside his stark confession as a ridiculous jest. Instead, his fingers lightly traced her trembling lips as he regarded her with a somber expression.
“I need you, Brianna. I know that is not a particularly elegant or romantic declaration, but there it is.” He caught and held her wide, disbelieving gaze. “I need you.”
Lost in the dark beauty of his eyes, Brianna was finding it all but impossible to force her mind to function in a reasonable manner.
“For what?”
His smile was edged with self-derision. “For everything, it would seem. You are not the only one who has been unable to eat or sleep, ma souris, and while I have not yet taken to my bed, I have been unable to be gone from the outer chamber for more than a few moments unless I have set myself a task I hope will please you.” His head turned to glance toward the hothouse flowers and small boxes of marzipan that had been arranged on her mantle when she had awakened that morning. “If I were observing some other gentleman mooning over a woman in such a pathetic fashion, I would be vastly amused.”
She slowly shook her head, the pain of his rejection still brutally fresh in her mind.
“But you…”
“What?”
She tugged the blankets even tighter.
“You made it very clear that you consider me no more than a convenient body to warm your bed.”
“Convenient?” His sharp, humorless bark of laughter echoed loudly through the room. “Miss Quinn, you have been by far the most bothersome, unnerving, intractable female who has ever crossed my path.”
Stupidly, Brianna found herself offended by his mocking words. “I most certainly am not bothersome.”
His lips twitched, but with an obvious effort he pushed aside his annoying amusement.
“My point is that I need only step out the door to discover a woman more convenient.”
“Then why do you not do so?” she snapped.
“Because, you annoying wench, I do not want anyone else.” He captured her lips in a brief, punishing kiss before pulling back to regard her with a glittering gaze. “I have not so much as glanced at another female since you forced your way into my home. And as for what you heard when I was speaking to Herrick, well…” His features tightened with self-disgust. “I suppose there is no excuse but the fact that I was being a ridiculous jackass.”
Brianna grimly ignored the treacherous leap of her heart as she narrowed her gaze in suspicion.
“I will not argue.”
“I am not surprised,” he said, his eyes darkening with genuine regret as he cupped her face in a gentle grip. “Brianna, I am sorry that I hurt you. That was never my intention.”
“I know your intentions, Edmond, and you have never attempted to deceive me.”
“No, just myself,” he muttered.
“What?”
With a grimace Edmond surged to his feet and paced toward the window, his shoulders stiffly angled and his hands clenched at his sides.
“I knew from the beginning that you were more than just another female I desired in my bed, but I was so determined to seduce you that I never allowed myself to acknowledge that I was the one being seduced.” He pressed a fist to the frosted window, his head turned to reveal his perfect profile. “Not even when I was forced to accept I could not be far from your side without feeling as if an essential part of me was missing.”
Bewildered by his husky words, Brianna sat upright, her brow furrowed at the mere thought that she could have such power over the man.
“Absurd.”
“Absurd, but undeniable.” He made a sound deep in his throat. “Why else would I have selfishly demanded that you remain in London with me, when it was obvious you would have been far happier at Meadowland with Stefan? And even when I did come to my senses enough to take you to Surrey, I could not leave you in peace.”
“You came to my rescue,” Brianna instinctively defended his rash return to Surrey, unable to forget the debt that she owed this man, no matter how aggravating he might be. “If not for you, then Thomas Wade would have…”
“Do not make me a hero, ma souris,” he interrupted, turning to regard her with a shadowed gaze. “We both know I should have left Meadowland once you were safe and allowed you to wed my brother, even if I would rather have cut out my heart. And I most certainly never should have demanded that you travel with me directly into the path of a brewing revolution. Hardly heroic behavior.”
“You have never forced me, Edmond. I could have refused to accompany you.”
He heaved a weary sigh, his gaze skimming over her tiny body, still hidden beneath the heavy covers.
“Could you?”
“I am not usually a spineless creature,” she snapped, embarrassed to realize just how helpless she was behaving. “In truth, I am weary of lying in this bed like a coward.”
“No, never that.” With swift steps he was standing beside the bed, his hand reaching to touch her cheek. “Not even the staunchest spine could have survived what you have endured over the past weeks and not needed to recuperate. Especially when you were concerned that you had more than just yourself to care for.”
It took a moment before Brianna was catching her breath in shock. With an unwitting movement she was pressing a hand to her empty stomach.
“You knew?”
“I overheard you speaking with Vanya just now.”
“Are you relieved there is to be no child?”
“Relieved?” His eyes flashed with an emotion so intense that Brianna forgot to breathe. “Mon dieu, I can think of nothing that would give me more pleasure than to know that you ca
rried my child.”
Brianna had considered Edmond’s reaction to the knowledge she was pregnant. She had envisioned telling him on a hundred different occasions. But not even her wildest fantasies had prepared her for the haunted yearning he made no effort to disguise.
“Oh.”
Perching on the edge of the bed, Edmond reached to take her hand in his. “Of course, I would prefer that we are properly wed before the babe is born. Thus far, we shall be able to avoid the worst of the scandal by the simple task of taking our vows. It would be rather more difficult if you are carrying our child down the aisle.”
Brianna stiffened. An awkward silence descended until she at last cleared her throat.
“Edmond?”
“Yes, I know.” His smile was tight, almost as if he were as unnerved as Brianna by his astonishing words. “It is not a very charming proposal, but the truth of the matter is that I have precious little experience in asking a woman to be my wife, so I hope you will be patient with me.”
“No…” A cold panic clutched her heart. It did not take a great deal of intelligence to realize Edmond felt obliged to offer for her. Or that he would be miserable if she were foolish enough to accept. “No, you do not want this, Edmond.”
His eyes narrowed. “You are capable of reading my mind?”
“In this, yes.”
Catching Edmond off guard, Brianna tossed aside the covers and slid from the bed. With a muttered curse he was at her side, his arm gently encircling her waist as if she were made of delicate crystal.
“Brianna, take care,” he growled. “You are still weak.”
She flinched as his words rubbed salt into her most vulnerable wounds.
“You pity me.” She shivered from the cold that came from the pit of her stomach, not from the chill in the room. “That is why you believe you must propose.”
“Pity you? Have I ever struck you as a man of great compassion, ma souris?” he taunted, his smile smug as she faltered beneath his blunt question. “Precisely. Whatever I do will always be what I desire, and what I feel will offer me the greatest gain. Or in this case, the greatest pleasure.”
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