by Hadley Quinn
“Did you just get that out of your pants?” she narrowed her eyes at him. “My big pregnant ass was down on the floor when you had it all along?”
“Uhh, last time I checked, it’s not your ass that’s pregnant. And I was gonna tell you I had it but you were already on your knees. On your knees for the wrong thing, but whatever,” he murmured playfully.
She laughed and shook her head at him. “All that just to get a blow job?”
“No,” he chuckled. “But it almost worked out that way.”
“Thinks you.”
“Ah, I’m pretty sure you’re that sweet and giving.”
She gave him a watchful eye but then chuckled. “I can’t believe you haven’t put me into labor already.”
“Trust me, I’ve tried,” he cocked an eyebrow at her.
Again she laughed, but she held her stomach that time. “Yes, I know you have. Between car rides and—”
“Jay rides,” he interrupted with a wink.
Her mouth was still open, paused in mid-sentence, but then she scoffed with a smile. “Yes, exactly. I can’t believe this kid is still in me,” she shook her head.
“Well I’m all for giving it another try,” he said with a shrug. “This time it’ll work, I’m sure of it.”
“You’ve said that for the past two weeks. And back to my lyrics,” she motioned to the paper in his hand.
“Sorry, I got distracted and walked out with it. You said I could read them so…”
“Oh, yes, of course you can read them,” she smiled, taking it from him. “I just thought I was going crazy.”
“Just crazy for me,” he said, pulling her close to him again. Her belly pressed against him and she wrapped his arms around her. He loved the smell of her hair, her body, everything about her…
He massaged the back of her neck and across her shoulders, and when she tilted her head up to kiss him he said, “How ‘bout you lay on the bed for a few minutes and I’ll give you a massage. Feet? Back? Whatever you want.”
“Oh that sounds so good,” she exhaled. “But we really should get go—”
He walked her backward toward the bed until her legs hit the edge and she sat down.
“Wow, smooth move, McCallan,” she said dryly, staring right at the crotch of his jeans.
“That’s not what I had in mind,” he laughed, moving to sit right next to her.
But she grabbed his hips and kept him in place. “Well maybe I do,” she smiled as she unbuttoned him. “Come here, baby. I really do want you before we go.”
“You better be ready to be super late, then,” he winked at her as she opened his pants and slid his underwear down. He was already hard, just from thinking about what she was going to do to him.
“I’ll be quick,” was her answer.
“But I’m not gonna leave you in need for me, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you too.”
“It’s okay, I’m really tired today.”
“Well maybe we should just— Ooh, mmm.”
Her warm lips slid over his cock and it was enough to shut him up. It felt incredibly good until something pinched him and his eyes flew open.
“Did you just bite my dick?” he asked with surprise. It hadn’t exactly hurt but kinda startled him. But then he noticed the grimace on her face as she held onto her belly. He thought maybe she was messing with him before but now she looked like she was in pain. “Are you okay, Mel?”
She exhaled a deep breath of air and answered, “Yep, I’m pretty sure I’m in labor because that one hurt even worse.”
Jay had to blink the confusion away and asked, “Hurt worse? Hurt worse than what?”
Melanie took another deep breath and let it out slowly. “Uh, I’ve been having contractions all day. Not really painful just…uncomfortable.”
“And you never said anything? Uh, what the fuck? Shouldn’t you be in the hospital then?”
She stood from the bed. “Yeah, they’re way more painful, and happening way more frequently. I probably should get checked out, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“Pack it up, sport,” she said, nodding to his cock at half-mast. “Let’s go.”
Shaking his head he answered, “Nah, I’m gonna go to the hospital just like this, so everyone can see what you did to me.”
“Haha,” she smiled at him. “Suit yourself, but can you and Captain Half Boner get in the car to give me a ride?”
He scoffed with amusement and put his pants back on as Melanie walked across the room for the closet. She picked up a bag from the floor and then grabbed a towel from the bathroom.
“What’s the towel for?” he asked, taking the bag from her so she didn’t have to carry it.
“It’s to mop your seat off when my water breaks all over your new upholstery.”
His mouth dropped open. He hoped to God she was just joking. “I’m calling a cab then.”
“Shut up,” she chuckled. “Just help me to the car, please. We can take mine if you want.”
Jay grabbed her bag and said, “This guy does not drive girl cars.”
“Oh my gosh,” Melanie laughed. “You’ve driven it before. When you took it to get new tires a few months ago?”
“And I lost half my manhood. Come on, you’re riding in style and if you ruin my new seats I’m gonna auction off your clothes to pay for it.”
“Rude,” she frowned at him.
“Necessary,” he corrected her.
But all joking aside, he was starting to get nervous. She looked extremely uncomfortable as he walked her down the hall, and as he texted Teague that they were heading to the hospital, Melanie sat down on the couch suddenly. She was pretty much silent as she breathed through another contraction, but Jay didn’t know what to say so he remained silent as well.
“Okay, let’s go,” she said, making an effort to stand.
“Here, lemme help,” Jay offered a hand, but he didn’t notice the damn dog lying next to the couch and he tripped over him, pretty much crashing into the coffee table.
“Tank, what the fuck!” he called out, but Melanie was laughing so hard that it was tough to get upset about it.
“Life moves fast,” she chuckled. “No more drunk-crashing the coffee table, now it’s the family dog’s fault.”
“Life is awesome that way,” Jay replied dryly with a smile. He pulled himself upright and added, “I might’ve just broke my cock, so that sucks for you.”
Melanie laughed again but pulled herself up from the couch, just as they both heard, “Rawk! Cock-cock-cock-sucker!”
Jay turned toward the bird and his mouth dropped open. “What the hell, did you just say cocksucker?”
“Oh my God!” Melanie groaned. “You’ve still been teaching him that!?” She smacked him in the arm and said, “Jay! I hate you right now!”
“Hey buddy,” he smiled at the parrot. “Say cocksucker again. Cocksucker.”
“Cock-cock-cock!”
“Uh…sucker,” Jay finished. “Cock. Sucker. Come on, pal. Just say it one more time.”
“I’m driving myself to the hospital,” Melanie said, grabbing her bag that had ended up on the floor.
“No you’re not, just give me a sec. Hey Fucktard, say cocksucker.”
“Come on Tank,” Melanie called for the dog. “Let’s put you out back, boy. I have no idea how long we’ll be gone.”
“Just once,” Jay pleaded to the bird. “Cocksucker.” The bird just stood on the perch, staring at him with his head tilted. “Performance anxiety? I have no idea what the hell that is like, but I’ll pretend to understand.”
He heard the front door shut and that’s what made him look around at the empty house to notice Melanie was gone. “Well shit. Thanks for nothing, bastard,” he told the bird as he rushed to the door.
He was just about to shut it behind him when he heard, “Cock-cock-cock-sucker!” from inside the house.
“Yes!” Jay fist pumped as he jumped off the front porch.
Melanie was tos
sing her bag onto the backseat of her car and barely smiled at him, but it worried him because of the way she was holding on to the car for support.
“Oh, baby, hey, lemme help you…” Jay rushed to her side but she was opening the driver’s door. “Hell no, you’re not driving.” He redirected her to walk with him around the front of the car and opened the passenger’s side. “What are you thinkin’, woman? Like I really feel like eating a telephone pole when a contraction hits.”
“What am I thinking?” she spoke softly as she climbed into the car, trying to breathe steadily. “I’m thinking you should just stay home with the bird and have fun cocksucking. That’s what I’m thinking.”
“Whoa hey now,” he chuckled at the smile on her face. He bent down to help her with the seatbelt and kissed her face. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere in the world except here with you.”
“I’m sure you can think of a few places,” she retorted with a tiny smile.
He did pretend to think for a moment, and when she shoved him playfully he laughed and said, “I’m kidding. If I’m somewhere without you, I’m in the wrong place for sure.”
“Aww, you’re getting so good at this sweet and sappy stuff. It almost breaks my heart that you have to stray so far from your personality.”
“Oh, what little faith you have in me,” he winked, lowering himself to his haunches to be eye level with her. “You’ve brought out a side that I’ve saved all this time just for you, sweetheart.”
“Oh, just for me?”
“Yep, just for you. And there’s enough to go around for this little one, too,” he added, softly touching her belly as he leaned forward to kiss it.
He looked up at Melanie and noticed her eyes were full of moisture. She placed her hand against his face and didn’t say anything, but it looked like she was trying not to cry.
“Now who’s getting sappy?” Jay teased.
She exhaled a deep breath. “Yeah, that was really sweet,” she answered in a strained voice. “But I’m having a damn contraction, Jay. Can we please go now?”
He laughed and kissed her face. “I love you, babe. I am the luckiest fucking bastard on the planet.”
EPILOGUE
Two months later…
I consider myself a pretty fair guy. Most people don’t give me the benefit of the doubt, but that doesn’t really matter to me. I don’t feel like I have to prove anything to anyone. People are too damn judgmental in the first place. Just knock it the fuck off, okay? We don’t need that useless shit in the world.
But…I’ll admit I can be a pretty big asshole when I want to be. I don’t wait for an invitation to offer my opinions because hey, ninety percent of the time, the people that need to hear it the most would never ask in the first place. I like to be generous like that. You know, when people can’t ask for help, I’ll just jump right in and tell ‘em how it is.
I’m Jay Fucking McCallan. The first time I ever said that to anyone was as a seven-year-old. Yep, said it right to the face of my grade school principal. Granted it was private school and my last name got me out of it just as quick, but it only got worse from there. My parents never spent any time with me, so I pretty much did whatever I wanted. Teague and I went to the same school since we were old enough to, and I can’t even begin to describe all the trouble we got into. There are even things we did that my parents will still never know about…
Relationships. I’ve always known what it was like to be appreciated by your best friend and adored by your sister no matter what. Teague has been my biggest supporter for as long as I can remember, and Kellie was the only female I ever loved. I’ve always had girls on the chase in one form or another. Sometimes it’s pretty fucking cool to be seen as a piece of meat, I’m not gonna lie. I’ve never wanted to get close to a single one of them, so if that’s all they saw me for, I was okay with that. A few tried to get deeper into my world but that shit was halted pretty damn fast. Stay out of my life. Stay away from my thoughts and don’t force me to share stuff with you. I’m not a fucking country song. Not gonna whine for a woman to make my life complete. And if you can’t handle that, back the fuck off. I don’t want you anyways.
Now I’m an adult. Okay, so I’m supposed to be one. I never thought anything would ever faze me until I became center stage to the two most important people in my life. How this happened, I have no clue. I guess the moment she walked into my life was the moment the damn stars started to align or something. Okay, I don’t believe in that garbage, but Melanie likes to tease me about it. She’ll throw all kinds of nonsense my way just to give me a hard time.
And I let her. She can say whatever the hell she wants to me and I will always love her. For me to actually feel that about someone scares the fucking shit out of me. I don’t want to lose in life. I don’t want to be holding on to something only for it to be taken away from me in some way later on. To have most all of my happiness come from one single source is just not right in my book. I don’t like giving away that control. She has the power to bring me to my knees and it is difficult for me to accept.
But the parts of me that knew I would not be whole without her decided to break down the stubborn parts that were going to let her go. It was losing either way, and somehow, just the thought of her living in another city—or shit, moving on with someone else—woke me the fuck up. I had to gamble everything I had to win that hand. I had to gamble and hope with all that I had that it was the right thing to do and I wouldn’t be setting myself up to lose everything. It was the hardest fucking thing I ever did. But you know what…?
I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Because life isn’t like a game of cards. I learned this, and I learned it the hard way. Life consists of human qualities like love and forgiveness, second chances and redemption. You don’t get that in a stupid game of cards. If you lose your hand, there’s no going back to change your strategy for a different outcome. And fuck no, in a card game you don’t get makeup sex when you act like an ass or say something stupid.
That is the best part of fucking up in the real world.
And it helps when your woman is the most amazing person ever. I don’t know what I did to deserve her, but I have been blessed beyond measure. I feel like a homeless dog that’s been taken in by a loving family.
Tank knows what that’s like. He’s in the front room to greet me as I enter the house. His favorite spot is right next to the couch, and his tail thumps up and down when he sees me.
“Hey buddy,” I say quietly. The house is pretty much silent. Even the birdcage has been covered with a sheet for night-night time. It’s the only way we can get Fucktard to shut the hell up now and then. Don’t get me wrong, I love chatting with the bastard, but there are some changes in this household that just don’t allow that asshole to run his mouth all the time.
Tank pulls his lazy ass off the floor to greet me. He’s huge already, up to my knees, and he’s only going to get bigger. It was probably one of the dumbest moves I’ve ever made—bringing a puppy into this crazy new mix in my life—but I was pathetic and desperate and knew that Melanie wanted him. I would have adopted five of him if I had to. Yeah, I used a sad and useless animal to lure Melanie back into my life and I’m not even fucking ashamed of it, either.
But Tank has been worth his weight. It took him several weeks to get over cowering anytime someone came near him or even looked at him, for that matter. He would even piss on the floor if he got too scared. This was a huge problem for me because I always had to clean it up. I was ready to put a damn diaper on the dog anytime people came over. Thank God we realized it had to do with eye contact. A stranger can pet and talk to him without making him piss on the floor as long as we warn them not to look him in the eye.
I have no idea how long we will have to go through this, but as much as it is an inconvenience, it also makes me angry that someone did that to an innocent animal. We love Tank to pieces, despite his flaws because of a fucked up human being, and it was a glorious day when
that bastard got reamed in court with a fine and jail time for animal abuse. I know there are many out there just like him, and that kills me inside, but I’m thankful we at least saved Tank from one heartless abuser.
Sometimes Tank is very timid and still acts as if someone is going to yell at him for anything he does. He even eats his food like he’s afraid to. It’s so sad. I don’t know if he will ever grow out of that phase or not, but we accept him anyway. He is a mellow dog by nature and would rather sleep all day, but he is also very much a lover. Even now he’s at my side to be pet and he would normally be with Melanie—which means she was probably occupied somewhere else. I’d walked into this house enough times in the past two months to gauge what everyone was doing at the moment.
I set the bags on the kitchen counter and put a few things away. Tank already has his nose in the air, sensing that I picked up a bone for him. But when he notices that I notice his interest, he hangs his head slightly and looks away. God, that kills me. The poor dog can’t even be excited for something without feeling guilty about it.
I hold the bone in front of him and talk to him softly, encouraging him to take it. Finally he ever so slowly reaches forward to take it from my hand. I pretty much have to wedge it in his mouth because he’s still unsure if he should be doing this. “Good boy,” I tell him. “Go lay on your bed. Good boy.”
He finally takes it and trots back to his bed by the couch. His tail is wagging and that makes me smile.
Eager to see my girl, I head down the hall quietly. It’s almost seven o’clock. It had been a long day at work and when I texted Mel to see how she was doing, I asked if she needed anything. I was in a fucking zombie state while at the store, but did it in a heartbeat. Now I was ready to crash for the night.
I walk into the bedroom and smile instantly. Melanie is asleep on the bed, fully clothed right on top. Her mouth is open and she’s breathing heavily. I’m not sure if I should laugh at how funny she looks or feel bad for how exhausted she probably is.
