The McCallans
Page 119
He guzzled it in three seconds flat. It was like he’d been without water for hours upon hours again; it was like his memories had made his body have a physical reaction to match that time in his life.
They rode in silence for a couple of minutes. Tate knew she was giving him time to relax. Sliding out of his jacket and loosening his tie seemed to help a bit, but Kellie’s soft touch against his shoulders was the key. She was lightly squeezing his neck and shoulders, rubbing them gently from one side to the other.
“I was talking to Max about the military movie he’s about to produce,” Tate began softly. “I guess it just brought a couple of flashbacks.”
“I’m sorry, I’ll tell him not to—”
“No, it was nothing he did,” Tate smiled. “I was the one that brought it up. It happens, babe. It’s no one’s fault.”
She pursed her lips for a few seconds in silence. “Is it something you’ll share with me? The memory, I mean.”
He barely shrugged but nodded his head. “Sure. Uh, overseas… Well,” he began again. “Let me say this first. The injury I have? I got it when I was rescued from a rebel hideout in Afghanistan. My hip was blown to pieces from gunfire during a rescue operation. My best friend died while saving my life. I have a lot of memories—bad ones—from over there, but that’s the one that hits me the hardest sometimes.”
Kellie studied him intuitively but didn’t say anything for a very long time. Finally she whispered, “You were a prisoner of war?”
He nodded his head mechanically, but focused on keeping his feelings at bay for the time being. “Just for a few days,” he said, not wanting to put too much thought into it. “Basically left to die at the bottom of a pit with a pile of dead bodies—men, women, children, babies… No food, no water, the smell was unbearable…”
He didn’t want to go down that road right now; not when he had his beautiful girl right next to him and all he wanted to do was strip her naked to make himself feel better and forget the ache that was now radiating down his leg.
She seemed to read him very well because the next thing he knew, she was kissing him, telling him how sorry she was he had to go through something like that, and then she was straddling his lap with her dress up around her waist, rubbing against his hardened cock.
He reached back and unzipped her dress a few inches, just enough so he could slide it down for her breasts to pop out. He took them both in his hands and caressed her gently, leaning forward so he could run his tongue across her nipples and tug on them with his teeth just a little.
She moaned as she braced herself against the seat behind him, grinding into his dick even harder. “God, Tate, you make me so wet.”
He repositioned her so he could undo his pants, and at the same time, she stripped her panties off and sat right on his cock, rubbing her wetness against him until she situated herself to take him deep.
Being inside her… God almighty. She moved slowly at first, seating herself deeper each time she pushed down into him. But then her pace quickened, and the sounds coming out of her and the sexy look of enjoyment that was displayed on her face made Tate feel like throwing her down on the seat so he could fuck her like crazy.
When he did lay her down, something seemed to come over him as he took in her eyes and mouth, and everything else about her that he enjoyed looking at. But it wasn’t her physical features that made him feel what he was feeling; it was her aura, the mood that she easily emitted. He knew without a doubt she had a calming effect on him, and since having her in his life, he could feel the difference between who he’d been the past couple of years ago and who he was now. The feelings of loneliness and isolation were no longer so prevalent; he felt more at peace with life, despite his challenges, and was thankful for the company of an amazing woman to steer him away from the darkness.
He knew he loved her. There was no doubt in his mind. He also wanted to say it, but not while he was deep inside of her as they rode in the back of a limousine. She deserved better than that.
By the time they’d gotten back to her apartment complex he’d gotten her off twice, but nothing yet for himself. She made a comment about it as they stepped into the elevator.
“Oh, I plan on having my way with you a little bit more,” he winked at her.
He’d been pretty close to letting go during the ride, but he knew they were just about to her place by then and held off. He was also still feeling the ache in his hip by the time they reached Kellie’s apartment. Maybe it would be a better idea to just take it easy until the pain went away on its own, but following her into the bathroom when she went to take a shower was too tempting.
Until he attempted to and realized she’d locked the door behind her.
Tate sighed and stripped off the rest of his clothes, dropping them onto the chair next to her bed. She was still apprehensive about being seen completely naked in the full light and it continued to fuck him over. What was he supposed to do to convince her how beautiful she was and that she had nothing to be shy about? God, she’d seen every one of his scars, from stab wounds to gunshot wounds and all the surgical scars over his left hip. His body was far from perfect but he had no concerns about how he looked. He was scarred from battle, inside and out, and there wasn’t much he could do to change it.
How could he get Kellie to believe she was perfect to him just the way she was?
Chapter Twenty
“Come on, I really hate surprises,” Kellie whined again. She appreciated whatever it was that Tate had planned for her, but she was the worst person to ever have patience for a surprise.
“Quit complaining or I’ll take you home,” he scolded her playfully. “I don’t want to hear another word.”
Before she could reply, a loud rumble came from her stomach. She gave him a sheepish smile when he glanced at her while driving.
“Sounds like we’re heading to eat first,” he said.
“No, I’m fine. Show me whatever it is you’re going to show me. I can’t wait any longer.”
He shook his head adamantly. “Nope, you need food in you first. I could use something too, so let’s stop.”
She frowned to herself. She didn’t want to eat right now. Well, she did, but decided she shouldn’t. Her mom was coming to town tomorrow and she really wanted to keep the six pounds off that she’d lost. She’d take any little thing she could have on her side to battle Amelia Brennan.
Tate pulled into Orchid Thai on Ventura Boulevard and Kellie couldn’t decide if she loved or hated him right now. It was one of her favorite places and it would be hard to refuse an entrée.
He ordered the pad Thai, which sounded sooo good to Kellie, but she asked for some mixed vegetables instead. Tate eyed her funny, but before the waitress left, he asked for an extra side of chicken.
“So how are you handling the other night?” he asked, taking a drink of his water.
Kellie squeezed a slice of lemon in hers and did the same. “The premiere and the media buzz that followed? Mm, fine. Always a jostle of special opinions,” she smiled.
She knew that there were rumors about her floating around, but even though she never looked at a single tabloid, occasionally friends would bring it up—especially a few of her co-workers. And if it were anything of significance, her uncle or grandfather would be sure to make a comment about it.
Tate also knew the rumors included him, so maybe he needed some kind of reassurance that he shouldn’t worry about them. He’d already seen some of the photos that had been popping up everywhere. Kellie had deliberately brought home a tabloid from work just to show him; just to make sure he understood the kind of thing he’d have to deal with. Surprisingly, she had only seen pleasant things about her, and especially about her “extremely sexy” date.
Well, she couldn’t argue with that.
“Don’t waste your time on all of that,” she waved a hand. “You’ll never keep up with it and you’ll drive yourself crazy.”
“I’m not worried about a damn thing,” he
chuckled. “I just know you hate making any sort of splash in that scene and was merely asking if you’re okay with it. You know, them tying you to a commoner.”
She gave him a comical face, and even though she knew he was joking, she scoffed anyway. “Right. They can kiss my commoner ass because I don’t give a shit. I’m sorry it brings you into it though—”
“Kellie,” he sighed. “I told you, none of that bothers me.”
“You do know that people dig up a lot of truth too, right?”
He eyed her carefully. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that they’ll be curious as to who you are and will do some research.”
“I have nothing to hide.”
“I’m not saying you do but…” She trailed off, not sure if their relationship was ready for this kind of thing yet. She hated having to deal with this type of excess bullshit, but so far Tate had been really amazing with it all. He had just the personality to let unimportant nonsense roll right off his back. He was a lot like Tyse that way. “I’m just a little worried…”
“Kellie,” his soft, deep voice drawled. “What worries you, baby?”
God, just hearing him call her that… She never thought she’d like being called some guy’s baby, but when Tate said it, it wasn’t just a flippant word added to a sentence. It held significance—it was a title—and she knew he valued it.
“I know we’ve talked about it, but I just don’t want you to be caught off guard,” she told him. “People—the media, paparazzi—they use who they can to get close to certain celebrities. That’s not your focus, but it’s your life that I’m worried about. I don’t want them bothering you or you being affected by any of it…”
He slowly shook his head. “You’re right, we have gone over this. And again, I’m in this relationship with you, Kellie. There’s nothing about who you are or who your family is that’s going to change how I feel about you.”
As much as she wanted him to expound on that, she was just grateful enough to hear it. She never felt Tate was the type of person that would ever betray her trust or her family’s privacy—that wasn’t the case—it was his own life that she wanted to make sure he was comfortable with. She never wanted him to regret being with her.
“I’ll be honest with you…”
“Please,” he nodded. “Be completely honest. Always.”
She agreed with a bob of her head. “I know how you feel about your experiences in the military and keeping things private, but all of that—your time overseas, your injury, your time in the VA hospital, your counseling and stuff—all of that is starting to trickle out. My grandfather was the one that asked me about it, which means his sources are reliable. He has people that keep tabs on that kind of stuff. Tate, I know you’re gradually opening up to me about it, but are you ready for the world to know too?”
He studied her carefully for quite a while. Because he paused so long, it made Kellie’s heart pound in her chest. This was it. He was going to bail. She knew how long he’d been battling to bounce back from all of that, and even though he wasn’t extremely secretive about it, he was still hesitant now and then.
Getting him to share his life with her was one thing; having it on display for the rest of the world was another.
“You’re right, I am very protective of my experiences,” he finally agreed with a nod. Kellie’s heart fell just a little bit more, but he continued with, “But that doesn’t mean I’m trying to bury the past, sweetheart. I told you that from the beginning. It’s just that…I don’t know what I want to share or how. Yeah, I still go to counseling sessions with other guys in my similar situation, and I do talk to those kinds of people that understand. They teach us that not everyone likes to talk about it and that’s okay, but they also teach us that there are a lot of people out there that suffer in silence because they don’t know what to do with what’s going on inside of them. I’ve spent some time on that path, and it fucking sucks. The number of suicides that result from war trauma… God, I can’t even believe it.
“Kellie, I’m lucky enough to have you now—someone I can open up to, and I’m trying to do better—but some soldiers don’t have that or aren’t ready to deal with it. And I hope that doesn’t scare you—I don’t want you to feel pressured that you have to fix anything or know exactly what to do or say because I seriously don’t expect that—but just having you in my life… It’s done more than you know. You’re enough, and you always will be.”
She was pushing down a lump that had formed in her throat and could feel the tears prick her eyes. This guy… Damn, he had become her world. He was worried he’d overwhelm her? Not even close. Tate gave her more than he knew, and hopefully she could find the courage to show him that.
“You can’t scare me, Tate,” she looked at him lovingly. “And I’m here for whatever you need, don’t ever feel like you can’t share something with me.”
“Likewise,” he eyed her, almost like he knew she was keeping things from him.
She sighed to herself, feeling the guilt wash through her. It was difficult to be feeling this way. It was like she was teetering on the decision to give him the rest of her heart or just keep it protected a little bit longer. She’d never loved and respected someone so much that she would even consider the possibility of opening up entirely. It was definitely something she needed to address.
Just not now.
“So can I have a hint as to what we’re heading to do?” she asked, changing the subject.
She could tell he knew she was changing the subject as well, but he answered, “No, not a single hint.”
“But you told me to wear sexy panties?” she smiled at him.
He arched that damn eyebrow at her, the one that was hot as hell and totally turned her on. “I never said it had anything to do with the surprise.”
Kellie laughed out loud, just as their food was brought to the table. “You’re crafty,” she pointed a finger at him. She thanked the waitress and picked up her fork as Tate slid a side dish of chicken her way. “What’s that for?”
“You,” he replied, twirling a section of noodles on his fork. “Protein. Eat it.”
She dropped the fork onto her plate. “Seriously? He talked to you behind my back?”
Tate slowly lowered his utensil. “Excuse me? Who talked to me behind your back?”
She watched him for a few seconds. He seemed confused, which made her confused. “Nothing, never mind,” she mumbled. Knowing that wasn’t a good enough answer, she refused to make eye contact after that. But she could still feel his eyes watching her, so she looked at him again and sighed. “There’s something I want to talk to you about, but not now. Okay?”
He paused for a moment and then slowly bobbed his head. “Okay. Whenever you’re ready.”
She was grateful he let the subject drop but knew she couldn’t avoid it forever. However, she did feel inclined to add the chicken to her mixed vegetables, and while Tate quietly ate his dinner, Kellie fought with herself internally. She knew Max had every reason to be worried; she also knew she was walking a dangerous line by how her thoughts had been slowly drifting into murky territory again.
It needed to stop before she started to fall instead of just teeter.
***
“We’re visiting my brother?” Kellie asked as they pulled up Tyse’s long driveway. “I thought he took Sarah to San Diego for the week?”
Tate stepped out of the truck with a mysterious smile and walked around to open her door. “He did. We’re here to visit something else.” After he kissed her and she set foot on the ground, he reached behind the seat and pulled out a small backpack-like bag.
“What’s that?” she narrowed her eyes.
“Just something,” he grinned at her. Shutting the door, he grabbed her hand and pulled her along to the side of the house. He slid a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door to the garage.
“Okay, I’m completely confused and it’s pissing me off,” she finally said.
She slowly shook her head, still fully baffled. “Uh, that one,” she pointed to the gray cover.
He carefully uncovered the Harley Softail and smiled. “Ahh, she’s beautiful. Doesn’t quite match your beauty, but she’ll do.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Another smile filled his face, and it was a good thing he was so damn sexy because she was starting to get irritated. She was seriously terrible at being patient when it came to stuff like this.
He stepped closer to her and slid his hands behind her neck. Kissing her lips slowly and seductively, he answered, “There’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a very long time, and if you tell me no… I’m telling you right now I will be completely crushed.”
She chuckled uncomfortably. “Um, okay. You know I like making you happy…”
“And I’m counting on it,” he said as he slipped his fingers underneath her tank top. He kissed her neck, and after pulling her top up and over her head, kissed along her collarbone and down her cleavage.
He wanted to have sex in her brother’s garage? She was trying not to feel self-conscious right now…
“So…matching or not?” he inquired, trying to get a peek at her underwear by slowly inching up her cotton skirt.
She pursed her lips and then smiled. “Complimentary.”
He raised an eyebrow and stared at her black bra. “Hmm, I’m intrigued.”
During the course of distracting her with kisses, he’d managed to strip off her skirt off until she was just in her bra and underwear. It felt awkward standing there practically naked while Tate was fully clothed, but at least the garage lights were not all that bright and she felt a little hidden since she was backed against a work table along the wall.