by Hadley Quinn
Smiling, Tate motioned for the brown box and Max handed it over. “Just let me know when you’re ready to move forward.”
He left Max deep in thought. It certainly wasn’t a position he himself wanted to be in, but everyone had mountains to climb. Sometimes people just needed to know it was possible.
He jumped in his truck to head out. It’d been two weeks since he told Kellie he loved her, and he had to admit, life just seemed easier lately. It was true that he’d been busy as hell these days, but that was actually a good thing. He was working hard to save some money, finishing up his car with Jay, spending a lot of time with his grandma, and per Kellie’s suggestion, he was about to meet with Tyse for the second time to discuss some physical therapy options for his hip.
The second he walked into the back room of the therapy clinic, he could tell Tyse didn’t have good news for him. “Got your results here,” he said. “I told you I’m not a doctor, though.”
“I know, but you can read the results, right? You said you wouldn’t work on me until you knew for sure it was the right choice. It’s not okay?”
“Because things like this would be a really bad idea to do physical therapy on,” he said, sliding a sheet of film into a light board on the wall. Tyse pointed at the x-ray of Tate’s hip. “No wonder you’ve been in so much pain, man. The screws on the exterior have literally worn away the bone and they’re coming out. It’s barely holding together while your bone is being slowly whittled away. The socket doesn’t even fit right anymore.”
Tate stared at the x-ray in silence for a minute. It didn’t surprise him. The first time they’d repaired his hip and pelvis, one set of screws had been too short. They had to put in a new set four months later.
“I talked with a friend of mine,” Tyse finally said. “He’s an amazing orthopedic surgeon. There’s a repair that he explained to me…and he does a lot of studying on the patient’s body type and the way they walk, all to determine how he proceeds with the surgery. Not every body is a standard fit to the same procedures, and I think in your case, it’s worth it to go another route. You said you’ve already had three surgeries…maybe there’s a better way. This guy can determine that by the tests he’ll have you do. Either that, or he might recommend a hip replacement. I think you should meet with him.”
“I had three surgeries because my hip and pelvis were blown apart. I was told it would never be completely normal again and that I would most likely always have pain.”
“You can’t keep going with this particular problem. Your hip is literally falling apart again. What they did to patch up this section right here,” he pointed, “isn’t working anymore.”
Tate groaned and shook his head. “I was talked into doing therapy with you,” he said quietly. “That’s all I wanted.”
“And I’m sorry that’s not an option right now.”
“It’s not your fault,” Tate sighed. “Thanks, though. For making sure,” he motioned to the x-ray. “Not the news I wanted to hear, but at least now I know.”
“Get it fixed,” Tyse told him firmly.
“It’s just not a good time right now. I’ve got too many things going on; I can’t afford to be down and not able to work.”
“And you can’t afford to keep suffering with this, either. Dude, I looked through all your medical reports. You’re a walking miracle. And I’m telling you, there are more advancements every day with this kind of stuff. Meet with Dr. Haler, okay? At least meet with him and go from there. I know you have your own doctors, but Jerry has done extensive work there, too. Let’s figure it out.”
Tate had zero desire to meet with another doctor, and he especially had no interest in going through another surgical procedure. Those days in the hospital were almost as bad as being overseas.
“I’ll think about it,” he said as he turned to leave. “I’ll see you at the wedding on Saturday.”
“Tate, you need to get it fixed,” Tyse called after him firmly.
He nodded as he left the room.
Just fucking great. Like he needed more time spent on something that had already slowed him down enough. He’d been told he could resume whatever activities he’d done before, but it just might not be as comfortable as it once was. Well that was an understatement. Sometimes the pain was so bad he could barely function, but he’d never wanted it to stop him from staying in shape, so he would just push through it. He was encouraged to take medication to help control the pain, and even though he declined at first, the hurt was so bad he finally gave in. Then it got to a point where he started taking them routinely. Then he couldn’t go any part of the day without them, just so he could get through the things he needed to do.
One day, he stood in the mirror and wondered what had happened to the guy that could endure anything—physically and mentally. The painkillers had put him in a constantly dull state, like he was there in life but not really. His artwork seemed uninteresting, and he didn’t enjoy going into work everyday. His grandmother noticed instantly and she brought it up first. He denied that he had a problem, but she was persistent and ended up telling him that his father went through the same thing. Ultimately it was what broke his parents up. Gram told him that his father wished more than anything he could have recognized the problem sooner rather than later. He’d said there was a difference between pain relief out of convenience and pain relief out of necessity, and he’d failed to recognize it.
Tate would never forget those words that his grandma told him. At that point, he realized he needed to break the habit. He tried to stop taking them cold turkey and that was a joke. You’d think he was an addict of street drugs or something with the way his body would shake and practically convulse at night. One of his counselors at the hospital told him how to wean himself off of them the right way, and as of that day a year ago, he’d been free of taking painkillers.
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through another surgery and fight through all of that again.
By the time he got to Skin Expressions at noon, his mind was on other things. Kellie was supposed to meet him and he was glad she hadn’t beaten him there. He had a surprise he wanted to show her and he really wasn’t sure how she was going to take it. When he first decided to do it, it seemed like a fantastic idea. Kellie was extremely uncomfortable any time she saw a photo of herself, so he wanted to prove that she had nothing to feel insecure about. One of his missions in life had become simple: he would do anything he could to prove to her how amazing she was.
It was a Sunday, so the shop was closed, but Tate unlocked the door and flipped all the lights on. He heard her car rumble to a stop in front of the building, so he met her at the front entrance.
“I’m not quite sure you want to be alone with me in this big empty building,” she teased as she came through the entry. He’d wanted her to close her eyes for the surprise but he chose not to interrupt her. “One of these days I think Benson will find out we’ve been banging…in his…office…”
She trailed off as she came to a stop in the lobby, staring across the room at the far wall. She didn’t say a single word as her eyes blinked several times to take in the eight-foot mural of herself on the wall. Finally she whispered, “What the hell?”
Tate’s heart pounded in his chest, suddenly worried she was going to absolutely hate him for what he did. He should have asked permission, but he figured worst-case-scenario would be that she’d make him get rid of it. It’d taken a week to complete, but if painting over it made her happy, he’d do it.
“That’s-that’s me?” she stammered, still in a whisper. She took a few slow steps toward it. “When did you…? Why did you…? Is this what the photo was actually for?”
The photo he’d taken of her on the motorcycle was now framed on his nightstand. But before he put it behind glass, he used it to make a full-sized replica on the wall of the lobby. It turned out amazing, and it wasn’t just his opinion, but compliments came from every person that walked in that front door.
“Yeah,
that’s what I had in mind,” he answered. “Look, I know you’re probably really upset with me right now, but it is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever done, Kellie. And so many people agree. They come in here, many not even knowing it’s you, and they’re just in awe.”
At last she pulled her eyes away from the wall and looked at him. “Um, is it…is it proportional?” she asked.
It may have seemed like an odd question, but he’d somewhat expected it. He could honestly answer, “Yes, absolutely.” He pulled out a copy of the photo from the front pocket of his button-up. “Take a look.”
She took the picture from him and studied it for several seconds, and then looked up at the wall to compare. “Wow, Tate… You are extremely talented. Just the colors and…details and… Jeez, I’m just blown away.” She stepped closer to the wall and continued to inspect it. Turning around, she asked, “And what am I supposed to think of this?”
He couldn’t read the expression on her face at all. Shit, what was he supposed to say? Was she pissed? Just surprised? He wanted her to love it; to see what he and everyone else saw when they looked at it.
A gorgeous female with a beautiful soul.
He swallowed and took a few steps to her. “I love this more than any piece of art I’ve ever done. Everything that I treasure in this life is right there in that painting. Love. Compassion. Strength. I can’t create any piece of art that would ever represent those qualities unless it’s something with you on it. I hope you’re not mad at me, and I hope you don’t ask me to remove it, but I respect your feelings and would paint over it in a heartbeat if you asked.”
“Paint over it?” she sighed, hanging her head. “Why would I ever ask you to do that?”
He reached forward to softly touch the side of her neck and she looked up into his eyes. “That mural has made a lot of people smile when they come in here. They ask about it. They comment how gorgeous it is. They tell me how beautiful she is. They say how confident and happy she looks. Then they ask me who it is, and you know what I say?”
Kellie barely shook her head, her eyes filling with moisture.
He kissed her gently on the lips and whispered, “I tell them she’s my entire world.”
A sob came out of her as her arms wrapped around his waist and held him tight. He placed his hand on the back of her head and pressed her close to him, feeling extremely blessed with the life he’d been granted. He never expected to come back to the states alive let alone fall in love two-and-a-half years later.
Some things had clearly been God’s plan and not his own.
“I love you,” he spoke softly, kissing the top of her head.
“I love you too,” she murmured, her face still pressed firmly into his chest. “So much, you have no idea.”
She was fully crying by now. Tate took a deep breath and slowly released it. “I think I have an idea how much,” he smiled, gently cradling her head between his hand and lips.
They stood there in silence for almost a minute before Kellie pulled back and wiped her face with the backs of her hands. She smiled sheepishly and glanced at the painting on the wall. “I can’t believe you did that.”
“No? Really?”
She laughed. “Okay, yeah I can. And even though it’s really…strange seeing myself there… It turned out amazing, Tate. I’m really proud of your talent, and mostly, I’m really happy you didn’t put it on the outside of the building.”
It was his turn to laugh, and he replied, “Believe me, I was tempted. But I knew it was risky even doing this, so I didn’t want to press my luck.”
“Good choice.”
“So you’re not mad at me?”
She scoffed and wiped at her eyes again. Glancing at the mural, she shook her head. “No, I’m not mad. Just a bit surprised.”
“But what do you think of it?” he asked carefully. “What do you think of that picture of yourself?”
She stared at it for a few seconds and shook her head. “I don’t know. I’ve seen hundreds of pictures of myself but…this is just different.”
“Different how?”
“Different because…it came from you, I guess. I feel like…it’s honest. Like…I can trust it’s an honest representation of what I look like? I don’t know,” she smiled uncomfortably. “I see so many photos that are just…photos of a person, you know? This one,” she motioned to the wall and faced it. “This one is actually me.”
That was the only thing he wanted to hear. She didn’t hate it and she didn’t want him to take it down, but she saw what he wanted her to see. He wasn’t expecting to fix all of her emotional scars from over the years just through one painting, but all he wanted was for her to see the beauty that he was blessed enough to see every single day.
“So let’s get that tattoo done,” she announced, facing him again. “You still wanna do it, or was that just to lure me here to see the shrine you made of me.”
Laughing, he motioned her to the hall to follow him. “Let’s get your back done, beautiful woman.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Kellie never thought the day would come that her brother would get hitched. Growing up, he’d always been against it. She couldn’t exactly blame him. Their parents definitely were not shining examples of a respectable, loyal couple. In fact, Kellie’s own thoughts on love had been tainted by the concept that couples were matched together based on how they looked to the public.
When she was in her teens, she never even imagined she’d end up with anyone other than who her family decided she should be with. Max and Olivia almost had her mind changed; she’d almost considered the possibility that true love really could be found in Hollywood. But then that all went to shit and she found out it was just another draw for media attention by two families that treated it like a business venture.
Max was the one that was burned beyond recognition, and it not only broke Kellie’s heart too, but she became even more resentful toward love and romance…and especially her family’s involvement in any personal aspect of her life. Sometimes she couldn’t even look at a guy without wondering if he was planted in her life through the designs of someone else.
She sighed as she glanced around Jay and Melanie’s backyard. It was a lovely scene for a small ceremony. Neither of them wanted anything big or showy, and they definitely didn’t want a lot of people there. The only person Kellie wished could be there was Max. She hated that her family had to be divided like that, but she still had hope that one day things would change. She could already feel a little shift in dynamics lately, especially because it was a well-known fact that Tate and Tyse were both friendly with Max. She felt she was a bit closer to getting Jay and Teague to make amends with him too, or at the very least, stop resenting him.
But Max needed to take the first step. She knew that. And he’d tried when he came to Teague’s for a barbecue, but it didn’t amount to much. Well, Tate insisted that it did and she was beginning to believe him. It was little things like that that were going to chip away the years of distrust and hurt, and according to her boyfriend, he sensed that the inclination was present with both parties.
That gave her a tremendous amount of hope.
“You’re not supposed to be spacing out at your own brother’s wedding,” a voice whispered to her from behind. A set of strong arms slid around her waist and she leaned back against Tate comfortably.
“I was waiting for you to be done with bro time,” she turned her head so she could see him. He’d actually been dragged over to have photos done with the guys and it’d been quite enjoyable to watch. “And we need to talk about some news that Tyse happened to mention to me. About your hip.”
She felt him sigh. “Obviously I can’t count on him to keep my medical situation to himself.”
“Yes, you actually can,” she turned around to face him. “I’ve been worried about how sore you seem to be lately and I made a comment about it. It was an honest mistake on his part because he thought that meant you had told me. It led to a l
ot of ‘what do you mean’ and ‘I thought you mentioned it because you knew’ kind of comments before I figured it out. And no, he wouldn’t tell me anything but I know something is up. So whenever you want to talk about it, just let me know.”
They looked each other in the eye for a moment before he nodded his head. “I will. It’s just not something I’ve made a decision on just yet.”
“Meaning…what? Is something going on that needs medical attention?”
He hesitated, but eventually yielded. “Yeah, I need another surgery. It’s not a big deal though, Kellie. I don’t want you to worry.”
“Well I won’t worry as much if you just tell me what’s going on.”
He led her over to the porch and pulled out a chair for her. He sat down next to her as they both watched the lingering party guests continue to eat, drink, and be merry.
“I met with a specialist that Tyse recommended. He wants to do a hip replacement on me. He thinks it will fix what is giving me so much pain lately.”
“Then do it,” she spoke firmly, grabbing his hand. “Baby, I do not want you to be hurting like you have been. And don’t think I haven’t noticed. I just don’t say anything because I don’t want to draw attention to your injury or any memories or whatever. I don’t know if that’s stupid of me or not, but I’m trying to find that balance of what is right for you. For us.”
He lightly laughed. “Yeah, I understand exactly what you’re saying. You know, it’s kind of amazing that we’re so similar yet so different. It blows my mind sometimes.”
She slowly smiled. “Well I like to think that similarities and differences are equally important in a relationship. And I also agree. I think we blend our lives pretty well.”
She winked at him and it made him smile. God, she loved that smile. But just like she knew it hurt Tate to see her suffer through some of her veiled insecurities, it pained her just the same to see him struggling too. They both had to put themselves in the other’s shoes to meet in the middle on these important issues, and she truly felt it was that very bit of compassion and understanding that formed such an unbreakable bond between them.
