by Hadley Quinn
Glancing into the crowd, she asked if all the kids were still in the playroom, and once it was confirmed that Rayne was in there watching them, she pulled the cover off as people gathered curiously.
Max waited for the onslaught of swear words and squawking, or hell, maybe Geraldo would bust out in song or movie lines. But he was completely silent as he eyed everyone watching him.
“Great, you taught him something newer and filthier?” Tyse asked, mainly looking at Jay.
Jay scoffed and held up his hands. “Hey, I’ve been too busy with baby shit and puke. Whatever this is has nothing to do with me.”
“Rawk! Motherfucker!”
That instant response from the bird after hearing Jay’s voice was hilarious.
“Hey, you lying piece of shit,” Jay shot back. “I didn’t teach you anything new!”
“Rawk! Motherfucker!”
“Stop it, you two.” Melanie pretended like she was going to cover the cage with the sheet again, and the bird bowed his head in silence.
“Too bad you can’t shut Jay up that way,” Teague stated.
Jay gave him a middle finger.
“Okay, okay, anyway,” Camryn interrupted, waving her hands for them to shush. “Go ahead, Mel. What’s up?”
Melanie took a dramatic breath and continued. “Well last week one of you asked how old the bird was and I realized I didn’t know. So I went to the vet today to find out.”
“Ah, I hope Fucktard got probed,” Jay narrowed his eyes at the bird.
“Basically,” Mel agreed.
“So how old is he?” Camryn asked.
“About fifteen.”
The room was silent for a few seconds, but murmuring ensued.
“Wait, that’s not the same as dog years or anything, right?” Jay asked. “Like he’s fifteen fifteen?”
“Yeah, fifteen years old. Just a baby.”
“A baby?” Kellie snorted. “That filthy-mouthed bird?”
“Wait a minute,” Jay held up his hand and paused dramatically. “How long do they live?”
“They average thirty years.”
The room erupted in a mix of laughter and disbelief, and Jay groaned, “No!”
“Thirty years?” Teague repeated. “That makes him middle-aged. God Almighty.”
“You guys are so mean!” Melanie scowled at them with a chuckle. “And I haven’t even shared what I was gonna share.” She paused to wait for everyone’s attention. “Geraldo is a girl.”
The room could not have been any more silent at that moment. Max did what pretty much everyone else did and stared at the bird for a few seconds, trying to process the information. The bird that he’d known as Fucktard for the past three years, who was the butt of endless jokes and crude humor…was a fucking female.
“My life as I know it has been a lie,” Jay finally whispered.
“Yeah, this changes everything,” Teague added. “I can’t even…I can’t even look at him—her!—the same way.”
“I’m not handling this well. Nope, all of our conversations, bird… I thought we were brothers. You’ve betrayed me. I just don’t know if I can get past this.”
“What a game changer. Did not see that one coming.”
“Would you two knock it off?” Melanie frowned at them both. “It’s not the end of the world. She’s still the same bird you’ve been trying to warp for the past three years.”
“Yes, but it’s a she,” Jay narrowed his eyes. “A she!”
Melanie took the cover off the cage all the way. “Well, we’ll just have to call her Geraldina.”
“No,” Teague shook his head. “I can’t. It’s Fucktard, and it’s always been Fucktard but…now that feels wrong.”
“Yeah, that feels so wrong,” Tyse agreed.
“What about…Fucktarda?” Jay contributed. “Like, is that feminine enough?”
“Would you stop being idiots?” Kellie said. “Jesus, it’s Fucktardina, okay? That solves everything.” But she couldn’t keep herself from laughing.
Tate was standing nearest to Max at that point, and they just looked at each other in disbelief. What kind of family argues about what to name a trans-gender, dirty-mouthed parrot?
“I guess you guys can call her whatever you want since you do anyway,” Melanie said. “I just thought I’d let you know. And because the kids are getting older… I think I should find her a new home. That’s all I really wanted to say, so if you know of anyone who wants a swearing parrot, let me know.”
Everyone went silent. Melanie had always loved her bird, and no matter how many times Jay told her he wanted to get rid of it, Max knew he secretly loved that bird. It was one-of-a-kind.
“I might know someone who could work with him—her,” Max spoke up.
Melanie looked relieved but confused. “Work with her? What do you mean?”
“I know a guy who trains animals for movies, he specializes in birds. Maybe he could work on fixing some of the, uh, language issues.”
“Seriously?” she asked wide-eyed. “That would be great. I don’t know about correcting her language at this point, though. But if he could at least give me an assessment…”
“Doesn’t hurt to ask. And if it’s not something that can be fixed, I’m sure he could help you re-home the bird.”
“Put it in a movie, not even kidding,” Jay muttered.
As the discussion continued about the bird with everyone else, Tate turned to Max and asked, “Speaking of movies… Yours releases in August, right? How are you feeling about it?”
Max slowly bobbed his head. “You know, I’m feeling pretty stoked about it. I’ve been through the process so many times before and know a winner when I see one, and I’m pretty damn sure this will be one. I don’t even care what awards season says early next year; I already achieved what I wanted to achieve by creating it. Hey, I actually cried when I first screened it. It exceeded my expectations. It was surreal.”
“That’s good, man. Oh, and everyone at the tat parlor wanted me to thank you for all you did. You really went above and beyond with dinner and perks that day, they really appreciated it.”
“It was no problem at all. You’ve got a good thing going there. And with Anna,” he added as she joined them.
“What about Anna?” She slid her arms around Max and squeezed him tight. He was betting she was pretty tired after a long day.
“Tate working with you. You guys have a good business.”
“Yes, we do. But Kobe and Tate do all the work. I’m just a name and face.”
“You’re the sales ticket, woman,” Tate joked. “I wouldn’t have the work without you. And looks like my baby is a little pissed.” He excused himself to meet up with Rayne, who was holding a tear-streaked Phoenix. It seemed to be about that time of night where all the kids were getting cranky anyway and were being corralled by their parents.
Chase came out holding Cade’s hand until Melanie got to him. She handed Elias to his dad and knelt down to pick up their toddler. “Thank you so much for looking out for him,” she told Chase, giving him a hug. “He loves you so much. Did you have fun?”
He answered yes and they talked for a minute until Chase came to Max, rubbing his eyes.
“Aww, looks like someone is ready for bed,” Anna spoke softly.
“Hey, buddy, you ready to go?” Max picked him up, and with Chase in one arm and Anna in the other, a feeling of contentment washed over him. He didn’t think he could feel happier than he was in this moment.
Chase wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck and squeezed him tight. “I love you, Daddy,” he whispered.
~The End~
Dear Reader,
You’ve just finished the entire McCallan series. Although there are only five books in this saga, I may or may not have a little holiday novella in the works =) If you’re interested in a bit more from this family, make sure you let me know!
~Hadley
The McCallan series:
Kiss This
Ta
me This
Only This
Maybe This
Saving This
In the meantime, here are some other books I’ve written if you’d like to check them out:
The Fighter’s Block series:
Donovan, Book One
Cole, Book Two
Level Up
Always Be the ONE
Ivory
On Air
For the music lovers…
Each book in the McCallan series has had its own music playlist on Spotify, and although each individual book has a description of these songs and their meaning in the story, I will just list them here:
Kiss This
Evil Angel- Breaking Benjamin
Broken- Lifehouse
I Drive Your Truck- Lee Brice
Kiss This- Aaron Tippin
Howlin’ For You- The Black Keys
Between The Raindrops- Lifehouse/Natasha Bedingfield
Madness- Muse
Never Stop- SafetySuit
Tame This
True Love- P!nk/Lily Allen
Headstrong- Trapt
Still Swingin’- Papa Roach
Run- Matt Nathanson/Sugarland
I’m On Fire- Bruce Springfield
Spin- Lifehouse
When the World Breaks Your Heart- Goo Goo Dolls
Better Than Me- Hinder
Sorry- Buckcherry
Anywhere But Here- SafetySuit
Only This
Best I Can- Art of Dying
Flaws & Ceiling- Frank Hamilton/Lauren Aquilina
I Want You To Want Me- Gary Jules
Not a Bad Thing- Justin Timberlake
Find a Way-SafetySuit
Bad Blood- Bastille
Come On Get Higher- Matt Nathanson
Give It To Me Baby- Rick James
Tonight- Emphatic
Alive- Adelita’s Way
Forever- Ben Harper
Maybe This
Try- Colbie Caillat
Shake It Off- Florence + the Machine
Who Am I Living For- Katy Perry
Fix Me- Icon For Hire
Love Me Love You- Gavin Mikhail
Wrapped In Your Arms- Fireflight
Have a Little Faith In Me- John Hiatt
Breathe In Breathe Out- Mat Kearney
My My Love- Joshua Radin
Everything- Lifehouse
Saving This
Hall of Fame (acoustic)- Gavin Mikhail
Maybe- Sick Puppies
Before You- Jon McLaughlin
Legends Never Die- Ferras/ Katy Perry
All In- Lifehouse
Start a Riot- BANNERS
I Won’t Let You Down- Static Cycle
Shine On Me- 12 Stones
Last Stand- Adelita’s Way
Let it Go- James Bay
