“I can help you with that.” David says from behind me in the kitchen doorway and I jump and nearly drop the bottle of ancient iceberg water. “Oh! Damn it! You scared the shit out of me Dr. Carter!” I don’t know why I didn’t call him David. The blonde hairs on my arms are crawling with warning and I’m suddenly very thankful I have a set of eyes on me at all times in this house. I hope Isaac is on watch and not Mr. Saint, Isaac would keep this under wraps and Saint would not. Another thought bolts through my mind and I’m immediately ashamed. If Evan can’t see he won’t be able to review this video and he will never know I was alone with David in the kitchen tonight.
Nothing’s happened of course, and nothing will, but I know I’m right about David’s feelings toward me to some extent and I’m worried he will take advantage of having me alone, away from Evan. “I’m sorry Mia, I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me come in.” “No, it’s ok, I was just not expecting anyone to be in here.” It isn’t fucking ok, it’s really not ok. I need to smoothly get out of here and pray Evan doesn’t wake up and wonder where I am. David approaches me and I instinctively step back, he pauses and looks surprised at my retreat. “Mia? Everything ok?” “Yes, of course.” I laugh nervously, something is off. I can’t help it.
I have a way of knowing when something isn’t right, since my attack it’s like a sixth sense. He extends his hand and I look at it confused until I look at him directly and he pointedly looks at the water bottle. He wants to help me open it. “Oh yes sure, here.” I thrust it at him with too much force and he takes it arching one eyebrow, he knows I’m uncomfortable but he pops the little cork from the bottle and steps closer to me anyway. I’m against the counter now, no way to nonchalantly escape, and he knows it. “So Evan got off to bed ok, no problems?” “No, he's fine, watching T.V. actually.” I lie. “He’s made quite a career for himself, hasn’t he? It’s amazing that selling Italian food can bring in this kind of extravagance isn’t it?”
His words are harmless but his tone is irritating and it makes me bristle. I stand up a little straighter having new found confidence in my anger. “Yes, he has. Rags to riches kind of story, he deserves it though he’s worked very hard.” I retort and take my water from his hand. “Mia, has anybody told you…his history?” History? What the fuck does he know about Evan’s history? “I’m not sure what you’re referring to, I know his background, I’ve met his sister and I’m aware of what he was like before the accident.” “Hmmm.” “Is there something you want to say David? If there is just say it.”
Now I’m really angry and holding it together by a thread, I’m vibrating and my sight is blurry, that’s how I know I’m past pissed and full on fucking mad. “Don’t get upset please Mia, I’m only worried about you. This man…he’s not like us. He’s from another world, and I don’t just mean the privileged and wealthy I mean the mob. Evan Lawson is, or was, the leader of the Italian mob. He’s killed people, he’s ruthless…” I’m speechless, where the hell would he get this idea? Really? Where? “I’m sorry to dump all of this on you, I’m glad to catch you alone, I wasn’t sure how I was going to warn you. When you called and told me who the patient was, well I came right away because I was concerned for your welfare and to tell you the real reason why nobody will do his surgery.
Mia physicians are afraid of him, nobody wanted to mess around in a mad man’s brain. If they couldn’t fix it his people would have killed them.” Oh God, oh God, oh God…this is insane, untrue, complete nonsense, not my Evan. He’s so loving and giving, tender and kind…to me. David’s words begin to take ahold and my anger turns to fear, what if he’s telling the truth? What if he’s not just interested in me but trying to save me from a monster? No, as soon as those thoughts creep in I toss them right back out on their ass. It doesn’t matter to me who he was, I love who he is now, today. I love this Evan not the brutal man he was before. David waits for my reaction while I count to ten and draw a deep breath.
“David, I appreciate your concern but it’s really unnecessary, he may have been different before his accident but he’s been nothing but perfect to me since we met.” Lies, he’s not been perfect, but no fucking way am I admitting to that, never. “Is that why you were seen in the hospital here for trauma to your neck and throat?” Shit, he’s really been checking up on me, and why? I’m shocked into silent twice in a few short minutes and this time I just stare at him, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, if Evan were here he would say a bird might poop on my lip if I don’t close it up.
I can’t breathe, panic floods me and I know what’s next, I need help but not from this man feeding me crazy information I have zero desire in knowing! The tunnel vision begins and I raise my hand in the air waving it around like I’m drowning, because in a way I am. I need Isaac, please, please be watching Isaac! “Mia? Shit, don’t pass out, here let me help you.” As he advances I try to make my legs move away but I’m past that. I’m going down and David’s going to end up catching me, but before he does I hear Evan roaring in the most terrifying voice and once again a small part of me is thankful for the ability to black out and escape situations like these. I can’t imagine the fallout from this, it’s going to be severe.
Evan
My fucking head hurts again, it’s different this time though, not the familiar sharp axe cutting it in half, more of an ache. And I’m thirsty, hell more than just thirsty, parched. The dim light hurts my eyes, thank god for that. Every time I open them I pray I’ll still be able to see, to look at the beautiful face of my gorgeous brave queen. Mia…where is she anyway? Her half of the bed is empty and undisturbed but when I sit up I notice her shoes tossed haphazardly on the floor. It’s so easy to put them in their place, why can’t she do that? No matter, she can destroy the room if she likes, as long as she doesn’t leave me again, I can’t live through that. So, shoes, but no beautiful woman. I reach to the bedside table for my phone and speed dial Isaac, he is on watch tonight and I need to know what’s going on and where my Mia has gone.
“Isaac, where is Mia?” I get straight to the point as always, no fucking around with manners or protocol, just give me what I want and lets be done, that’s how I like things to be. Immediately I sense a problem, Isaac is breathing fast, running maybe, fucking hell, I go to sleep for a few minutes and that woman has gotten herself into trouble already! “In the kitchen, with David. I thought everything was ok until she started signaling me and I think she’s going to pass out!” Running, yes he’s panting and running! I throw the phone across the room with monumental force and watch for a split second as it explodes into a million pieces before I’m up and running. One single solitary image in my malformed tangled up brain flickers on repeat, Mia and David, in the kitchen, alone, and she is panicking! Fucker, I knew something was wrong the second I met him, he’s shady and has lustful eyes for my Mia, MY Mia!
I take the steps three at a time but lightly hold the banister, no peripheral vision is fucking with my ability to get to Mia but I continue to barrel through the house, why is the god damn kitchen so far from our bedroom? And for fucks sake why is she wandering around alone? Kitchen straight ahead, I see the tail end of Isaac as he turns the corner beating me by mere feet and I was twice as far away. I round the corner and what vision I have left goes red. What I see is disturbing to say the least.
Mia is fainting and that bastard David has his hands all over her easing her to the ground, touching her face, smoothing her hair away from her eyes! I am no longer in control of myself, not the man Mia loves or the one she fears. Both are gone and replaced with an animal with no conscience, just pure rage and the need to dominate and destroy anyone who comes between Mia and I. I’m going to kill that little fucker, I don’t care if he’s the only dumb ass on earth willing to perform surgery on me. I wasn’t going to let him anyway, not after I saw the way he looked at her. He is held under her spell, the way I am but the difference is I benefit from her witchcraft and he does not, he will not.
Chapter 32
&
nbsp; “Say Something”
A Great Big World
featuring Christina Aguilera
I’m really tired of hospitals, all of them. Working in them, being in them, visiting them. This happens to be a very modern hospital compared to the one Evan took me to for my neck injury. This is the hospital where Dr. Carter was supposed to remove Evan’s tumor, where we were supposed to be set free from the terror of separation, where our forever was supposed to begin. Instead, I’m being discharged from the E.R. after fainting yet again. I was only brought along because of the insanity that surrounded me when the ambulances arrived at the house. Isaac couldn’t leave me behind dazed and trying to grasp what was happening.
When I woke up I found myself propped against Isaac watching paramedics swarm the kitchen tending to a moaning, bloody David and an unconscious Evan being lifted onto a stretcher. The scene was unfolding in slow motion around me. My first instinct was to go to Evan but not fully ready my legs give like jello. “Hey there, take it easy now. He’s going to be all right, they had to sedate him to keep him from killing your doctor friend.” I relax against him for a moment while I regroup. “Is David ok?” “I don’t know.” he says with a long exhalation. His response feels defeated and tired. “Isaac, what did he do?” Standing and assisting me up with him he is silent and it feels like he’s stalling. “Isaac, tell me, what did he do?” I turn and face my only friend here in Italy, someone who understands how it feels to be a part of Evan’s world knowing all too well the complications of being in it.
“Mia, he was deranged, absolutely detached from reality, homicidal. He would have killed him if I weren't here. Mr. Saint called the ambulance as soon as he knew Evan was on the move, his temper is, well, it’s nothing to tamper with.” The information David gave me suddenly returns to the forefront of my mind. “Isaac, is Evan part of a mob?” I say nearly in a whisper reaching out to hold onto his arm for physical support and my eyes fill with tears as I look to him for emotional support as well. Something tells me it’s the truth but denial is a strong force and one I’m willing to keep holding on to until I’m absolutely sure. He pulls me into his arms embracing me tightly and I know.
A shock wave of disbelief travels through me and finds its home in my heart. This is a defining moment. I need to make a decision, stay and be strong and support the man I love despite who he used to be and who everyone still thinks he is. Or let him go and ensure my safety by returning home and attempt to start over. I don’t even realize I’m sobbing until a paramedic touches my shoulder and asks me if I need any attention. Isaac lifts me into his strong arms and I bury my face in his chest to continue with my pity party. “She fainted, I think she’ll be all right but can you please look her over?”
I’m taken outside into the cool air and lovingly secured on a gurney in the back of one of the many ambulances in the driveway. Isaac crouches next to me at eye level to be sure his words will be heard. “Mia, you need to think about this. I know you love him, and I’ve wanted to tell you what a dangerous lifestyle you were getting into from that first day I met you in the hospital.” “Then why didn’t you?” “I saw how he was with you, how different he had become and I love him too. I wanted him to be happy, I’ve never seen him so content. And to be honest I was afraid if I told you and he found out, well you saw what happened here tonight. Anything that threatens his relationship with you will be pummeled, destroyed.”
I was going to be angry with Isaac for not telling me but who the hell could blame him for wanting to stay alive? How have I gotten involved in this mayhem? I can’t think straight, I can’t think at all so I merely stare blankly back at Isaac’s beautiful face. “Go to the hospital and let them look you over, I’ll ride with Evan and check on you when we get there, all right? Will you be ok alone?” Will you be ok alone? Those words bounce around in my blank mind. Will you be ok, alone? The pure and simple answer to that is no, I will not. That’s the moment my neurotransmitters decide to go into hyper overdrive and flood me with the chemicals needed to feel hope and determination again.
The decision has been made for me, was there really any decision to make? I will not be ok alone therefore I will stay and fight for Evan, whatever it takes I’m staying at his side. I’m sure I’m going to be tested and filled with stories and information I don’t want to hear but none of it can matter. I can’t even think of a life without him. Moving forward knowing he is still existing on the same planet but not with me, it’s not possible. So he’s a mob leader, and a murderer, and people hate him and are probably out to kill him. That’s not the man I know, and that’s all that matters. We will rise above this and make a new life together, face the demons head on, think positive Mia, I tell myself. Your life depends on it.
I look up and down the long bright hallway outside the emergency room and wonder where they’ve taken Evan, and where is Isaac? He said he would be here. I can’t even ask anyone because I don’t speak a lick of Italian. But hey, I spent over a week communicating without words, I can do this. I approach the nurse’s station and the plump receptionist says something I can’t understand. I point at a pad of scratch paper and a cup of pens, she follows my direction and when she realizes what I want she promptly hands them over. I scribble Evan Lawson across the paper and hand it back, she reads it and unpleasant recognition clouds her face.
She immediately pulls her round body from the chair and for a second I worry it may come with her stuck to her behind but she just makes it out, barely. Pointing down the hall, I follow her waddling figure as she quickly ushers me to what I recognize as a trauma area of the E.R. Isaac is sitting outside a glass room with his elbows on his knees, head in his hands. I thank the little lady and close the distance between us quickly. “Isaac, how is he? Is he awake yet?” When Isaac raises his face to mine I gasp, his eyes are red rimmed and he’s visibly shaken. I begin to take steps backward and thrust my hand out in an effort to prevent him from telling me what I think has happened.
“No, no, no, please Isaac.” He jumps up from his seat “Oh Mia no, he’s still here, he’s not…” Relief smacks me so hard it nearly knocks me over. “God Isaac, you made my heart stop!” He folds me into a hug again for a short moment and then holds me at arm’s length. “I’m sorry. But I do have to tell you something.” I brace myself for whatever it could be, as long as he’s alive I can deal with it. “He’s back in a coma. They reversed the sedative but he didn’t wake up, and if I’m understanding the doctor correctly they aren’t sure if he ever will.”
I don’t even allow myself a reaction this time, I just make my way to the glass door and slide it open. My life companion, partner and lover lays in yet another hospital bed, surrounded by medical equipment. He’s attached to a ventilator that softly pumps his lungs with air making his beautiful chest rise and fall, a little familiar click with each breath it provides him. Just when I had thought there were no more tears left in me to be shed I’m proven wrong. I well up and let them stream steadily down my cheeks for a few minutes while I take in the scene and then I rub them away fiercely and straighten my spine.
I have to be strong enough for both of us now, this is one time he can’t tell me to let him do the worrying. This is all on me. Stepping to his side Isaac stands on the threshold of the room hesitant to interrupt but I motion him to come in. “Sit.” I command and Isaac pulls up two chairs next to the bed. I remain standing though and take Evan’s hand in both of mine. I lean over and say quietly but loud enough for Isaac to hear me. “Evan, it’s me Mia. I’m here now, it’s time to start fighting. I’m not leaving you, I know who you were, I know what you’ve done in the past but it doesn’t matter to me. You and I are forever remember?” I bring his hand to my chest and press it against my heart. “I’m not doing this alone, so get yourself back here to me, do you understand? That’s not a request, it’s an order. I’ll be sitting in this damn uncomfortable chair waiting for you, I know you can do it, I’ve seen it before. I love you Evan Nathaniel Lawson, you go, I go. It�
�s all up to you, to keep me breathing, keep me existing. Bring your stubborn, bossy, insane loving ass back to me.”
I glance back at Isaac and he scoots the chair closer so I can continue to hold Evan’s hand and sit. “I’m serious Isaac, I’m not leaving his side until he wakes up. I’ll need some clothes brought to the hospital and Yes and No need watching. I also need his laptop and calendar.” Somehow I’ve switched gears and I’m now in no nonsense business mode, things need to be done and I’m the one left responsible for them. Less than 24 hours ago I reluctantly accepted half of everything this powerful man possesses. I didn’t want any of it but I’m in charge and I don’t want to let him down, when he wakes up his world will be just as it is today, maybe even a little better. “Mia?” “Yea?” “What’s yes and no?”
The corner of my mouth lifts in the smallest half smile. “My kittens, Evan gave me two kittens today, I named them Yes and No.” “Ahh, ok, thank God I was worried for a second there.” “No need to worry, I got this. He’ll wake up soon, I know he's listening, and he’s too stubborn to let me boss him around.” Isaac’s look is full of sorrow as I put on my brave front but I ignore it, he may have given up hope but I haven’t, he’ll wake up, he has to.
Chapter 33
Dark Thief (The Two Sides of Me Book 2) Page 19
