He left the room, and as Leah’s worry about Ethan grew, she pushed herself from the couch and walked through to the kitchen and into the back garden, which sprawled straight out toward the horizon. A garden that could have been filled with color was, unfortunately, mowed to within an inch of its life, the borders covered in stone chips and little else. Leah crossed her arms and frowned. Both he and Daisy deserved—needed—some vibrancy and light in their lives.
But how was that to happen with Ethan’s ex in such serious danger? Some women might have been threatened by his concern for Anna, but his care only drew Leah to him more. He was a kind man. So caring and attentive to others that it made her want to learn more about him, get to know him better. Yet sooner or later she would have to leave him be. He might have kissed her, said he didn’t want to ignore any chance of romance between them, but the way things were, Leah’s presence would only add to his burden.
Ethan made her crave an intimacy she realized had been sorely lacking in her life since her estrangement from her parents. He made her want to build on the trust between them and share more of their dreams and fears. Since her grandmother’s passing, she’d yet to find a special someone she could trust. Sure, she had a fabulous friendship with Sasha, but now she wanted more.
The way Ethan guarded his and Daisy’s seclusion and independence, his right to solely choose what was right or wrong for her, screamed of a man who would reject the kind of intimacy Leah yearned for.
They would never work.
She would come to accept that, but how was she supposed to walk away until she was certain there was nothing more she could do to help him?
Sometimes, though, she failed those people she tried to help. She missed the signs of intentional abuse, of people not being who they seemed on the surface. In these rare cases, it hadn’t mattered that her superiors supported her, or admitted they would have assumed or thought the same in a particular situation. Instead, those failures left Leah questioning her decision making and capabilities. A battle she fought on a daily basis at the hospital and in her personal life.
“I hear what you’re saying, but why don’t you come to the Cove?”
Leah stilled when Ethan’s voice emerged from behind her as he walked out through the open patio doors. Slowly, she turned.
He paced the deck, his phone pressed to his ear and his soft, dark hair mussed as though he’d put his hand through it a hundred times.
“Anna...” He sighed. “If you come to Templeton, yes, they might follow you, but surely you’ll be safer close to me than miles away? I’ve told the police what’s happening. If you’re here, Cat Garrett will do all she can to protect you. If Harry or anyone else turns up, she’ll be perfectly in her rights to arrest them. Coming to the Cove makes sense. You know it does.”
Uncertainty pushed at Leah’s heart. She understood the generosity Ethan was showing his ex-wife, his need to help her. But in doing so he could be exposing Daisy to untold danger. Taking a slow breath, Leah walked closer and sat on one of the chairs around his large patio table.
He looked at her and shook his head, his expression a mix of worry and frustration.
Sympathy squeezed Leah’s heart. The situation was so unusual that it seemed Ethan had no more idea of what to do than she did.
He sat next to her and closed his eyes, the phone still at his ear. “Look, Daisy finishes school for the autumn break next week. Mum is having her over for a few days. Why don’t you come here, then? You could stay at my place and decide what you want to do. I know you want to do something about this drug dealing or you wouldn’t have come here in the first place.” His jaw tightened. “Unless, of course, it was all about getting me to give you money.”
Leah grimaced. Maybe it was a deserved shot, but unnecessary considering the poor woman had been beaten up. Ethan’s frustration came off him in waves and she reached over and covered his hand with her own.
He opened his eyes and her heart jolted to see they shone with unshed tears. Caught as he was between bad and worse, what else was he supposed to do but to vent his frustration on the one person responsible for bringing such danger into his daughter’s life?
Blowing out a breath, he sat back, easing his hand from under Leah’s. “Fine. Have it your way, but I really don’t know what you expect me to do, now that I know the depth of trouble you’re in. Despite everything, I’ve never hated you, Anna.” He stared straight ahead. “Okay, ’bye.”
He tossed the phone on the table.
Birds sounded in the distance, a few crickets chirped, but the quiet pressed down on Leah. Slowly, she faced him. He continued to stare ahead, his profile set.
She cleared her throat. “Ethan, if she doesn’t want your help...”
“She does, that’s the problem.” He turned, his gaze angry. “She came here. I’m involved.” He blew out a breath and his shoulders drooped as his eyes filled with regret. “Look, I know I’ve said this before, but this time I mean it. We need to put some distance between us. I warned you I’m not good at relationships at the best of times, but with all this with Anna on top of caring for Daisy...” He shook his head. “You and I are a nonstarter. I’m sorry.”
Even as her heart twisted with empathy and loss, she couldn’t ignore a rising feeling of irritation. “A nonstarter? I’ve been here for you and Daisy, Ethan. I’ve tried my best to help you.”
“I know, and I appreciate it, but the longer this mess carries on, the more guilty I feel having you mixed up in it.”
“Isn’t sticking around my choice?” She reached for his hand, relieved when he didn’t pull away. “You like me. I like you. I hate that you’re willing to walk away from what we’ve shared. No one gets anything in life without a fight. That’s a lesson I’ve learned over and over again. If I don’t matter enough for you to fight for, then at least be honest about it and not blame the situation on Anna.”
He squeezed her fingers, looked deep into her eyes, his gaze sad. “I’m trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need protecting. I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself. I’ve done it for years.”
“But that was before you met me. I hope if I’ve done little else, I’ve convinced you I care enough about you to keep you away from all that’s going on with me right now.”
A horrible sense of loss whispered through her and she slipped her hand from his. She leaned back. “I understand that you have to do right by Daisy and Anna. We don’t get to choose our families and, with Anna being Daisy’s mother, she’ll always be a part of yours. You have to do all you can to help her even if she refuses to listen right now. But...”
He raised his eyebrows, his gaze questioning. “But?”
Leah sighed. “You don’t owe me anything, Ethan, but please, be honest. If you want me to butt out, keep my distance until you have everything straightened out, then say so. If you don’t think we’re going to work regardless of what is happening outside of me and you, then say that. Either way, I hope we can still be friends.”
For a long moment, he stared at her. Leah held her breath as a barrage of emotions swept through his gaze.
He leaned back, raised his hands in defeat. “Fine.”
She frowned. “What does that mean?”
He swiped his palm over his face, and when he met her gaze, his eyes were filled with determination. “Fine. I’m not sure we’re going to work.”
Hurt slashed through her even though she’d surmised the exact same thing. Swallowing hard, she lifted her chin. “Right. Okay, then.”
He looked away into the distance. “Daisy will probably stop talking to me when you aren’t around anymore.” He faced her. “But it will be for the best in the long run.”
Exasperated, Leah found further words battling for release on her tongue. Things weren’t in line for them right now, but who knew what might happen in t
he future? Part of her wasn’t quite prepared to let go of the idea of them being together.
She drew in a shaky breath. “You’re too nice a guy to spend the rest of your life alone. Daisy’s going to grow up one day, you know.”
“And when she does, I’ll start focusing on my own life.” He abruptly stood. “Until that happens, I’ll worry about Daisy above all else. Which is why she’s going to my mum’s, so Anna can come here.”
Leah closed her eyes as a bad feeling settled over her. “And then what?”
“I’ll persuade her to go and see DI Garrett. Tell her about the drugs. Maybe Anna can be put in witness protection or something until the trial.”
“Trial? You really think Anna will testify against these people?” Leah shook her head. “Ethan, if she won’t come to the Cove and stay with you as you’ve asked, it’s highly unlikely she’ll press charges against the assault. How on earth will you persuade her to go up against these people publicly?”
“I don’t know, but either way, we need to stop seeing one another. It’s not fair for you or Daisy. I see what your job means to you, Leah. I see how you need to care for people. I’m not ready to let anyone into mine and Daisy’s lives that way. Not yet. I’ve got far too much to lose if I mess up my job as her dad a second time. Daisy is seven now, not two. She can’t remember my past mistakes, my past selfishness, but if I mess up now or in the future she’ll remember.” He shook his head, his fear showing deep in his eyes. “I’ll do all I can to stop that from happening.”
Leah smiled softly. “You’ve just described the same thing a hundred and one other parents have when they’ve come into the ER with a hurt child. They turned their back and their son broke his arm by falling down the stairs. They’d gotten talking on the phone and didn’t notice their daughter dragging a chair to the medicine cabinet and helping herself to something that shouldn’t be consumed. Accidents happen, Ethan. Parents mess up. You’re human. Nothing more, nothing less.”
His cheeks darkened as his determined gaze burned into hers. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I’m not ready. I’m sorry.”
Leah stared helplessly into his eyes before standing. “Then I’ll respect your wishes. I only want what’s best for Daisy, too. I hope you know that.”
“I do.”
“Good.” She hesitated, part of her longing for a final kiss, a final embrace. He stood stock-still, his hands in his pockets, and Leah nodded toward his hand. “I’d like to see if those stitches need to come out. Shall I take a look before I go?”
His jaw tightened and he shrugged. “Sure.”
They sat down and she unwrapped his hand. “I think they’re ready.” She lifted her gaze to his. “I’ll go and grab my kit from the car.”
He nodded, his gaze sad as it grazed over her face. “Okay.”
She walked through the patio doors into the house. Tears threatened as she reached the bottom of the stairs and looked upward, imagining Daisy fast asleep and safe in her bed. There might not be any hope for romance with her father, but there was also no hope of Leah not returning to the police, when there was every chance she would live to regret it.
She let herself out of the house, ignoring the slash of pain in her heart at losing not one, but two more people she could possibly have come to love.
She’d hold her tears back until she’d seen to Ethan’s hand, and then she’d leave his house as quickly as humanly possible. No looking back. No hoping for more between them.
* * *
ETHAN TOOK A steaming mug of coffee from his mother and stared toward Daisy, where she played in a paddling pool along with his mum’s two spaniels. The sun shone high and bright in a clear blue sky, every flower, bush and tree in his mother’s garden bursting with color. The scene would be idyllic and he might have even considered staying over for the night if he didn’t feel so troubled by everything else going on.
His mother sat at her small bistro table beside him. “It doesn’t matter how many times you tell me there’s nothing wrong, I know there is. Firstly, you’ve got a big old bandage on your hand that doesn’t warrant the little accident you say you had, and second, your face is telling me something has you worried. Really worried. It would be easier if you just told me. I might even be able to help.”
“Everything’s fine.”
“Ethan Matthew James, I raised you better than to blatantly lie to my face. You are always so keen to push away people who want to help you. Now, what is it?”
Ethan took a long breath as his mother’s dark blue eyes bored into his with the ferocity of a rottweiler. He fought to stand his ground. “Fine. I’ve stopped seeing someone I’ve been out with a couple of times. Someone Daisy liked way too fast, way too soon.”
“It’s a problem because she really likes this someone?”
“Maybe.”
His mother frowned. “What’s this girl’s name?”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s over. Just forget I mentioned her.”
“I will, once you’ve convinced me you’ve done the right thing by showing her the door. Which, young man, seems entirely unlikely if Daisy liked her and you clearly did, too. What happened to make you give up on her so quickly?”
“I didn’t give up on her. She’s not the type of woman a person gives up on.”
“Meaning?”
He sighed and leaned back, his gaze automatically turning to Daisy. “She’s one of those one-in-a-million types. Pretty, kind, funny, caring...the whole deal.”
“Then why did you call things off? You sound halfway to falling in love.” She touched his arm. “And for the record, a person only has to be perfect in the eyes of the one who wants them. So if you’ve turned away from her because of something you might have heard on Templeton’s nonstop busybodying streets, then—”
“It’s not that. I imagine she’s pretty much liked by everyone. It isn’t her—it’s me.”
His mother huffed a laugh. “And you call yourself a writer. Whatever happened, you have been on your own for far too long. Call this girl up and tell her you made a mistake.”
Anna’s beaten and bloody face came into his mind’s eye. He snapped his gaze to his mother’s as the loss of Leah pressed hard on his damn, stupid heart. “There’s something going on right now that I don’t want Leah to have any part in, okay?”
“Ah, now we’re getting somewhere. So her name’s Leah and you’re in some kind of trouble. Good. Okay, more explanation, please.”
Ethan held her wily gaze. He couldn’t tell his mother about Anna. First, she’d pitch one hell of a fit, and next, she’d be driving to Bristol and promptly adding to the bruises Anna had already sustained. Things had always been strained between his mother and Anna when she and Ethan were together. When she’d walked out, there was no going back, as far as Hilary James was concerned.
He swiped his hand over his face. “Look, you wanted Daisy for a few days and here she is. There’s nothing else you need to know. I’ve been out with women since Anna. Leah was just another one that didn’t work out.”
“She’s not just another one, from the way you described her.” His mother sipped her coffee. “In the past, you’ve barely given me more than a grunt when I’ve asked about the women you’ve been out with. What’s the trouble you don’t want this girl exposed to? Is it the danger of being knocked down by your thick head?”
Ethan glared.
His mother smiled and cupped her hand to his cheek. “I love you, you idiot man, but please don’t let this one get away so easily, sweetheart. She sounds like a keeper. Leave Daisy here for a few days, by all means. I love having her. But when you get home, call Leah and arrange a night out.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Or a night over. You deserve some happiness. Take it.”
He shook his head, his stomach feeling like lead. “I can’t. Maybe in time—”<
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“Time? You think we’ve got an endless pot of the stuff? Time is now, Ethan. Anything that happens before now, or after, doesn’t come into play. It’s now that’s important.”
“I disagree.” He stood. “I need to get back. The book I’m working on isn’t going to write itself and I’ve got a deadline looming. Call me whenever you want me to come and pick up Daisy.”
“She can stay here as long as she likes.” His mother frowned as she stood and pulled him into her arms, reaching up to press a kiss to his temple. “Be happy, Ethan. For me.”
He nodded and managed a half smile before hugging his mother back and releasing her. His tread was heavy as he approached Daisy, his heart yearning to pick her up and take her back home where she belonged. The trouble was his mother’s home was by far the safest place for her until he knew Anna and her danger had passed.
Daisy smiled at him. “Are you going home, Daddy?”
He forced a smile and flicked some water at her, making her giggle. “Yes. I have lots of work to do, but will come and pick you up as soon as I’m finished. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“I love you.”
“Love you, too, Daddy.”
After pressing a kiss to her wet hair, Ethan straightened, lifted his chin and strolled back toward his mother, who stood watching him, her face etched with concern. He stood in front of her. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Okay. Be good and do as I ask. Promise me.”
He sighed. “I’m not promising you something I can’t guarantee, and you shouldn’t expect me to.”
“What I expect is for you to be happy. It’s what every mother has a right to expect. Are you going to deny me my God-given right?”
Tears glinted in her eyes and Ethan kissed her cheek. “I love you, Mum. See you soon.”
Leaving her standing alone, he walked through the house and into the front yard. With a final, long look at his childhood home, Ethan hurried along the street toward the train station.
Half an hour later, he was on the train heading back to Templeton, the scenery passing by unnoticed. His mind whirled with his mother’s words, Leah’s beautiful face and the little girl he’d left playing in his mother’s garden.
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