by Calia Read
“I don’t think you’ve met two of my children,” my mom says and points to Aniston and me. The blonde nods her head and gives us a smile. “Laurena, meet my son, Ethaniel and my eldest daughter, Emiliana.” My eyes widen. “Kids, I would like you to meet Laurena Sloan.”
She reaches out and shakes Aniston’s hand. When she holds her hand out to me, I just stare.
My blood runs cold as I stare Laurena. I’m face to face with Macsen’s mother. If I look close enough, I see Macsen in her sharp cheekbones and olive skin tone, but that’s where it ends.
Her dark blonde hair is pin straight and falls to her shoulders. Those shiny strands brush against her dark red, empire waist gown. She’s skinny, and I catch most the women around me looking at her waist with envy. Laurena’s gray eyes shine as she looks straight at me, and I can see that she thrives on attention. The urge to take off my stiletto and hit her with the heel is so strong I have to take a deep, calming breath and a step back.
All I can think of is Macsen and his dark, messed up childhood. I don’t know all the stories of his adolescence. There may have been happiness mixed in with all the bad, but all I picture his sadness and hurt when he explained what he did when he was eight.
And that’s all on Laurena.
She lifts a perfectly plucked brow, like she’s realizing I know something but keeps her hand out. Reluctantly, I shake her boney hand.
I swear I just shook hands with a viper.
“So nice to meet you, Emiliana.”
I suppress the urge to shiver and pull my hand away. “You too, Ms. Sloan.” Both of my hands squeeze my clutch and I know I have to get out of this room. I have to call Macsen. “If you’ll excuse me,” I say apologetically, “I’ll be right back.”
“Yes, of course.” Laurena says.
Somehow, it feels like I’m getting her permission. I look at her skeptically and walk quickly out of the ballroom.
My head is bent as I turn the corner and pull my phone out. It takes four tries to press dial. My hands are shaking and I can’t focus on anything. I just know that I need to talk to Macsen.
The bathroom is to my left, and I quickly walk inside and call Macsen. It rings six times before it goes to his voicemail.
I don’t leave a message.
A few ladies walk in and give me a brief look before they walk over to the sinks and talk quietly.
Seeing his mom is totally unexpected. I don’t know all the people my parents rub shoulders with, and clearly, that shows tonight. But the fact that Laurena Sloan is one of those shoulders makes me angry. I feel like a traitor to Macsen for being in the same room as his mom.
Being loyal to him comes as easy as breathing. I don’t think about it, I just do it.
Counting to ten, I try to take deep breaths. I re-dial Macsen’s number one more time.
He still doesn’t answer.
I already didn’t want to be here, but now I’m desperate enough to take a cab and get the hell out of this place. The thought of seeing Laurena is enough to make me push myself away from the wall and walk back out the door.
“You okay?” Aniston asks. He leans against the wall with his arms crossed, staring at me thoughtfully.
I move out of the doorway and nod my head. “Yes.”
“Good. Because it looked like you walked out because of Macsen’s mom.”
“Really?” My shoulders lift in a shrug. “Not at all, I just needed to go to the bathroom.”
Aniston gives me a nod and straightens the sleeve of his jacket as he idly asks, “Do you wonder if Macsen is here?”
My back becomes straighter in a nanosecond. “No.”
“But wouldn’t it be great?” Aniston asks. “You could really finish off your Burn List with one last attack.”
I smile at the couple walking past me and when they’re far enough away, my smile is wiped clean and I glare at my brother who’s quickly starting to feel like my enemy. “I’m done with the list. I’m done with revenge toward Macsen.”
He nods his head in agreement. “I know. You told me that earlier.”
“So let it go,” I utter firmly.
Aniston nods his head and says nothing. But there’s a look of satisfaction in his eyes. I’ve grown up with that look. And he only uses it when he’s won a battle.
My eyes turn into little slits as I look at him. “Get that look off your face, An-”
“Revenge?” A deep voice asks next to me.
No, no, no, my mind screams out.
“Macsen,” I whisper.
My head starts shaking back and forth before I’ve even looked around. My brother’s face is neutral and I realize that he knew Macsen was within earshot. I expect to be betrayed by strangers, not by my own blood. I glance at Aniston with wide eyes and for a millisecond, he looks guilty, but when it fades, he’s back to looking satisfied.
Turning to face Macsen is painful. I feel nothing but panic because there is no way to get out of this. My body is reluctant to move, like it knows it’s the wrong decision. I do it anyway and when I fully face him, my knees start to wobble because I’m not looking at my Macsen, I’m looking at New York Macsen. His dark hair is baseball cap-free and styled with gel. The stubble is shaved.
Gone.
But even with this different look, he’s still gorgeous.
Gorgeous and completely angry.
I’ve imagined how I would tell him the truth. There have been so many times when it was on the tip of my tongue to spill my soul to him, but I never did. The fear took over. It did its job and made me doubt myself. In my ear, fear whispered that telling him everything would send him away from me.
With Macsen, I have something. I have love. I have someone who does more than see me, he understands me. And I don’t want to give that up. Ever.
But I see it now. I see how I’ve made the worst, most selfish mistake. I should have told him the truth because the longer I stand here watching his eyes become angrier, the quicker he slips from my fingers, and out of my life.
Rushing forward, I reach out to grab his arm, but he takes a step back. My lips want to quiver at his response and I press them tightly together.
His arms are clenched at his sides as he stares at me. “What are you talking about?
Desperation fills my blood and makes my voice quiver. I don’t even know where to start. “Please, let me talk to you alone.” I shift my eyes and see a few people staring and whispering our way. When I look to Macsen, I plead with him, “This looks all wrong.”
“But revenge toward me, that’s true?”
I don’t want to answer him. As much as I know I need to, I don’t want to. The look on Macsen’s face makes my heart drum erratically. But reluctantly, I nod my head. I feel like I’m going to crumble to the floor. “Yes,” I whisper.
Macsen laughs harshly and grips the back of his neck with both hands. He stares up at the ceiling before he looks at me with a steely gaze. “My brother was right. They all were.”
His words are a punch to my gut. “No!” I burst out with so much honesty. “No! They aren’t right!”
“How are they not, Emilia?” he yells. I flinch and press my lips together. Tears are gathering in my eyes. I will them to go away because I refuse to cry in front of everyone. “What did I ever do to make you do this? Tell me!” His voice is dark and completely raw.
It’s my time to make everything right and all I can do is stare at him. He looks at me with confusion and I’m pleading with my eyes that he’ll just walk out of this building with me and never look back.
Looking over my shoulder, I see Aniston, still standing in the same spot. But his face is pale and drawn and I know he sees it. He knows I love Macsen. “My brother makes it sound wrong-”
Macsen pulls back and widens his eyes. “Aniston is your brother? This is fucking great!”
“She didn’t tell you that?” my brother asks with a sardonic smile. I slam my eyes shut and hope this is all just one big nightmare. “You really don’t know Emiliana, do you?”
My eyes open instantly. “That’s not true!” I say vehemently. “You know me better than anyone,” I tell Macsen urgently.
He glances at me and I see how disoriented he looks, like he can’t believe any of this is really happening. The shock on his face is so clear. I’d do anything to take away that expression from his face.
“Emilia had a Burn List,” my brother explains.
“Stop it,” I yell at Aniston and grab onto Macsen’s arm. He doesn’t pull away.
Aniston keeps talking, “She created it to get back at all the people that messed with our sister.” My brother’s eyes narrow darkly. “You were the last name on that list.”
Macsen’s hand pulls away from mine with a giant tug. It yanks my heart from my chest in the process. I lean back against the wall and shake my head over and over as Macsen rubs his temples.
“Did you want me to fall for you?” he asks. I open my mouth but Macsen keeps talking, killing me with his questions. “Was the tutoring all a part of the game? Was me fucking you part of your revenge?” he shouts.
Aniston steps forward, his eyes so dark he doesn’t even look the same. I hold out my hand and keep him from walking any closer. Macsen’s words sting, but I know he’s lashing out. I never want him to doubt what’s between us and that’s exactly what’s happening.
“I never…” I stutter on my words. “None of that was a game. None of it!” I plead.
“What the hell did I do to deserve this?” he yells.
“Our sister!” Aniston says angrily.
Macsen looks at me with so much confusion. It makes my eyes close tightly. “Who is your sister?”
I feel it in my gut that he didn’t do it. It’s first instinct that I trust Macsen and that instinct makes me questionable in my family’s eyes. “You were written in her journal,” I explain. “She talked about you years ago.”
My explanation makes Aniston move away from the wall, toward us. “You believe the innocent act, Emilia?”
Saying nothing, I keep my eyes on my Macsen. He looks at me with disgust.
“You’re falling for him!” My brother rushes out. “You’re falling for him just like her!”
Turning around, I stab a finger into my brother’s chest. “Go, Aniston! Let me talk to him.”
“We don’t need to talk,” Macsen says darkly.
“Yes, we do,” I plead quickly and shove Aniston away. “Everything has changed. The minute I discovered who you really are, I stopped it all.” I can’t stop shaking. Macsen gives me a bit of peace that not even my family can give me. If he leaves, so does that peace. “When we’re together,” I emphasize slowly, “it isn’t a game.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that you fucked with my life. And for a sister I don’t even know,” Macsen says calmly, but there’s a coat of ice around his words and I shiver because I’m seeing just how cold Macsen can be. “You see how that’s fucked up?” he asks without any emotions.
“I know it’s wrong and messed up. Macsen, I’m sorry!” I plead.
He shakes his head, and I keep talking. I feel like I’m losing him. “My revenge stopped as soon as it began! If I could go back and change everything I would.”
“But you can’t,” Macsen says with such finality that it becomes impossible for me to breathe.
“I’m sorry!” I repeat frantically.
His eyes morph from anger into sadness. He doesn’t say anything, but his expression shows everything he can’t say. I’ve betrayed him. I’ve crushed him.
I’ve ruined everything.
Macsen takes a step back and I know he’s getting ready to leave my life for good. I make one last-ditch attempt to make him stay. “We’ve barely started, Macsen! If you leave, you’re walking away from everything that we could be!”
“You’re right,” he agrees.
I smile, but it’s short-lived.
“We were only together for two weeks and we’ve already crumbled.”
“No,” I whisper. My head moves back and forth.
A waiter clears his throat. “There’s a party going on. The two of you need to take this outside.”
Macsen shoots him a glare that makes the waiter shrink back. With a snort, Macsen steps away with his hands in the air. “No worries. I’m leaving.”
I walk to him quickly. Staring at him with wide eyes. “Macsen-”
He turns so quickly that I almost run into him. Standing close to him, I watch his throat constrict. I stay perfectly still and he continues to kill me with his words. “I’m fucked up and I’ve made mistakes, but I didn’t do a thing to your sister, Emilia. You go on with your life. I’ll go on with mine.”
“I don’t want that,” I say painfully.
Macsen smiles half-heartedly. “You wanted revenge and now you have it. You fooled me. I’m humiliated. I’m done.”
“Macsen!” I call out as he walks away from me.
“Leave it alone, Emilia,” Aniston says next to me.
I whip my body around and let a few tears drop. “Do not-” I whisper darkly. “You’re my brother!” I accuse him.
“Three years of pain. That’s what Macsen did to our family. He gave us that pain,” Aniston says darkly. I know he’s trying to remind me of everything I’ve felt for so many years, but I’m numb. His attempt doesn’t work.
“He didn’t do it, Aniston,” I tell him firmly. I don’t know why, though. Aniston’s mind is made up just as much as mine is.
My brother looks at me doubtfully. “Emi, I’m-”
I walk away, ignoring his words. My head is held high as I walk across the lobby and out the door.
A year ago, I was planning revenge against Macsen Sloan. A year ago, the bond I had with my siblings was so strong, nothing to separate us.
But now lines have been crossed and we’re strangers.
I should be filled with guilt, but I’m too crushed to care.
Numbly, I hail a cab down and ignore my brother shouting my name. I shut the door, tell the taxi driver my address, and stare out the window with no emotions, no feelings.
I’ve lost the person I love.
Chapter Twenty-five
EMILIA
I slam the door behind me and brush my tears away as I walk toward the stairs.
Eden’s head pops out of the family room. “Emi?” I turn around and her eyes widen. “What’s wrong?”
Aniston opens the door and I point my finger straight at him. Eden looks at him with confusion.
“What the fuck, Emilia?” Aniston shouts. “You want to explain to me what just happened?”
“I left the event because you’re an asshole!” I yell loudly. My brother betrayed me tonight and that’s not something I can easily forget.
“What happened?” Eden says with her brows knit tightly together.
Aniston looks over at her and waves a hand in my direction. “Our sister loves Macsen Sloan.”
Eden’s face pales and her eyes widen. She says nothing, but looks at me with disbelief.
The truth of what I’ve done hits me like a tidal wave. I thought nothing could be worse than watching Macsen walk away from me, but the look on Eden’s face is a close runner-up.
It was only a matter of time until everything came into the light and fell apart.
I step back down the stairs, toward my sister. “You two don’t get it and I don’t expect you to.”
“Explain it to us then,” Eden murmurs quietly.
I swallow loudly and try to gather my thoughts. “I went for revenge, I had every intention to destroy him, but…”
“But what, Emilia?” Aniston asks in a taunting voice. He leans against the wall with his eyes narrowed into tiny slits.
“I’m not talking to you!” I scream at Aniston.
He throws his hands in the air and paces the foyer. I turn back to Eden. “Things started to change. Eden, I know he didn’t do this!”
She steps back like I’ve slapped her. “That’s a pretty strong thing to say.”
“Emi, why didn’t you tell us?” Eden asks. And then she says quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What did you want me to say, Eden?” My voice raises an octave and I keep talking. “That I love him? Did you want me to call you both and announce how I was feeling? That I knew he couldn’t have possibly done it, but have no proof … other than the way I feel?”
“You could have walked away when it became too much!” Aniston snaps. “You could have been loyal to your family.”
“Loyalty? You want to talk about loyalty? You’re my brother! And you set me up tonight!” Anger makes my voice shake. “You knew Macsen was close by when you brought up the list!”
Aniston doesn’t even deny it. “You’ve been lying to us—your family—for months.”
“I owe you no explanation,” I mutter darkly.
“You owe your sister an explanation,” he says firmly.
That drives the knife deeper into my heart. Tears start to run down my cheeks and I make no attempt to brush them away. “Fuck you, Aniston!” I scream.
I walk past Eden, who stands in the doorway with wide eyes. When I enter the family room, I reach for a tissue on the end table, but stop.
My jaw is wide open in shock.
Pictures that were taken down four years ago, are now hanging back up. I turn in a full circle and look at all the pictures from the past. They’re hanging up where they once were and it’s like they were never taken down. Pain so raw cuts through me as I truly realize how much I miss those moments.
“Who did this?” I whisper.
Eden walks into the room with a pale Aniston at her side. He looks completely beat down as he stares at each picture. All of our anger at each other seems to dissipate as we take in the pictures.
“They needed to be put up,” Eden says firmly.
“Do Mom and Dad know?” I ask.
She frowns down at the carpet before she looks up. “Yes. I wouldn’t do this without them agreeing.”
“They’re coming down,” Aniston mutters before he walks to the nearest framed picture.
