‘Some deeds must be paid for in blood. It is the warrior code, and nothing will content a wronged man until he has exacted the price from his enemies. My lord husband has taught me that.’
‘It is a lesson I have but lately learned. I tried to talk Leif out of going.’
‘As well tell the wind not to blow.’
‘It was foolish, I admit. It’s just that I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to him.’
Ragnhild regarded her keenly. ‘You care for him very much, don’t you?’
‘Much good may it do me. His heart is out of reach.’
‘Yet he is not indifferent.’
‘Not entirely, but he does not care enough to marry me and give our child a name.’ Astrid sighed. ‘The settled life no longer has any attraction for him.’
‘No longer?’
‘His first marriage ended in disaster.’
Briefly Astrid outlined the circumstances. Ragnhild heard her in appalled silence and then shook her head.
‘He’s afraid, isn’t he?’
‘Too afraid to commit himself again.’
‘Only he can overcome his own fear, and if he’s not prepared to do that you’re better off without him.’
‘I know,’ said Astrid. ‘I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.’
Chapter Twenty-Three
Leif and his men arrived in Mørkestein two days later. He went directly to the king’s hall to ask for an audience. However, it wasn’t Halfdan who received him. Instead he found himself face-to-face with Ragnhild. She greeted him courteously and listened with close attention as he explained his mission. Then she shook her head.
‘I regret that you are too late, Jarl Leif.’
His heart sank. ‘Too late?’
‘My lord husband set out a week since,’ she explained. ‘I have lately received word that he and his men met the rebels in the field and won.’
Leif was silent for a moment, torn between pleasure and disappointment. Then he recollected himself. ‘And Gulbrand?’
‘Dead, along with most of his force.’
‘I’m pleased to learn of the king’s victory, although I had hoped to play a part in it.’
Ragnhild smiled. ‘Your loyalty does you credit, my lord. It has also cost you dear. We heard of the attack upon your estate.’
‘My lady is well informed. However, the perpetrators are dead.’
‘It is well. Perhaps now order may be restored to the land.’
‘That is a hope I share, my lady.’
‘My lord sends word that he expects to return very soon. I have no doubt he will be most pleased to see you and to learn your news. Until then, you and your men are welcome to remain here. Accommodation and food will be provided for you.’
‘My lady is gracious.’
The queen smiled and inclined her head. ‘Farewell for the time being, Jarl Leif.’
He bowed and retired, his brain assimilating what he had just learned. As he had anticipated, the news caused a stir among his men too.
‘Well,’ said Thorvald, ‘I’m delighted to hear that Gulbrand’s dead. All the same, it’s a pity we missed the battle.’
‘Especially when we’d just got warmed up and all,’ replied Ingolf.
‘That’s life for you.’
‘There’s still Steingrim and Thorkill to deal with. If Finn and Erik don’t kill them first, that is.’
‘Chances are they will though,’ replied Thorvald.
Ingolf frowned. ‘There must be someone left to fight.’
Leif smiled ruefully and strolled away, leaving the men to talk. While it was disappointing that they hadn’t been present for the final confrontation, he couldn’t regret Gulbrand’s demise either. No doubt they’d learn all the details soon enough. The skalds would sing of it at the feast when the king returned. It promised to be a lively affair. Afterwards the Sea Serpent would set sail for Agder. Leif sighed. The battle might be won but his problems were far from over.
* * *
Astrid looked at her friend in astonishment. ‘Leif is here, my lady?’
‘That’s right. I’ve just spoken with him,’ said Ragnhild.
She related the gist of the conversation. Astrid received the news of her uncle’s demise with little surprise and even less regret. Her dominant emotion was relief. Einar’s power over her was at an end. More importantly, Leif was alive and well.
‘He and his men are to stay awhile,’ the queen went on. ‘Halfdan will certainly wish to speak with him.’
Astrid’s stomach fluttered. ‘Oh, yes, of course.’
‘You need have no fear. You don’t have to see him unless you wish to.’ Ragnhild paused. ‘It’s your choice.’
‘I wish I didn’t want to see him. I wish I could feel as detached about him as he feels about me.’
‘Perhaps we should test this apparent detachment.’
‘Test it how, my lady?’
‘Don’t reveal your presence here. Let him return to Agder and find you gone.’
Astrid’s eyes widened. ‘Merciful gods! He’d be furious.’
‘Furious is a good start,’ replied Ragnhild.
‘Is it?’
‘Of course. No man who is truly detached would react like that, which means he’ll come after you.’
‘Any anger he feels will be a consequence of being thwarted, nothing more.’
‘It’s good for men to be thwarted occasionally. It stops them from getting complacent. Anticipate a great deal more than anger from Jarl Leif. One powerful emotion is like to engender others, the ones I suspect he conceals even from himself.’
‘And if it doesn’t?’
‘Then you’ve lost nothing. Either way you’ll know the truth.’
Astrid was silent for a moment. If she agreed to this plan the truth would come out, but she had to face the possibility that it might not be what she hoped for. However, Ragnhild was right. There was nothing to lose now.
‘I’ll do it.’
The queen smiled. ‘Good. It’s time this man was brought to his senses.’
* * *
The king’s return was greeted with great acclaim and his victory celebrated with feasting and drinking. Astrid remained in the women’s quarters throughout. In accordance with Ragnhild’s instructions no one spoke of her presence, and particularly not to Jarl Leif. As the queen had expected, Halfdan received his friend warmly and expressed his regret that Leif had missed the battle.
‘You’d have enjoyed it. The rest of us did.’ Halfdan grinned. ‘Especially the part where I cut off Gulbrand’s ugly head and stuck it on a spike.’
Leif smiled in quiet appreciation. ‘I’m truly sorry to have missed that, my lord. Unfortunately my men and I were delayed...’
He gave the king a summary of recent events. Halfdan listened attentively and his grin widened. When the tale concluded he clapped Leif on the shoulder.
‘So Einar’s dead as well, eh? This calls for a drink.’
In fact the drinking and feasting went on for the rest of that evening and all of the following day. Leif and his men participated in the celebrations, the latter with considerable enthusiasm, but, while the jarl was sincerely pleased by the recent victory, he also felt a curious sense of anticlimax. His enemies were slain, with the possible exceptions of Steingrim and Thorkill, and when Finn and Erik had enough men they’d take care of the matter. Leif was content to let them. He’d achieved his aim and his revenge was complete.
He’d once thought that the accomplishment would leave him with an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, and in some ways it had, but it also left a gaping hole in his life.
For the first time he began to think about what he was going to do next. He had a ship and a crew and the whale road offered plenty of new adventures. He had a holding which needed to be rebuilt. There was timber aplenty and enough skilled hands to do the work. His imagination supplied the image of a fine new hall and a barn and fields of growing crops. It would be a fresh start, a
place far removed from Agder and its attendant memories. He could take Astrid with him.
In many ways the thought pleased him, but there was still the matter of her pregnancy.
Most women rejoice in their babies. What if that really happened? What if her words proved true? After all, she had spoken the truth about everything else. That knowledge revived his guilt and he frowned. As soon as he returned to Agder they were definitely going to talk. It wouldn’t be an easy conversation but it was necessary; without it they couldn’t move forwards and he realised he wanted that. Somewhere along the line she had become necessary to him. He knew he couldn’t just sail away and forget her but there were other ways to lose a woman, ways that could not be seen or fought or helped. The dark shadow was stealthy and insidious in the way that it overtook its victims, but its grip was sure and terrible and far-reaching. If it happened a second time... It wouldn’t happen a second time. It couldn’t. Surely even the three hags wouldn’t be that cruel. He found himself clinging to that hope because the alternative filled him with dread.
* * *
He and his men departed a few days later. Astrid heard the news with a heavy heart. Living in such close proximity and not being able to see him or speak with him had been torment and for the hundredth time she wondered whether that course of action had been the right one. Only time would tell now. She laid a hand over her belly and closed her eyes, trying not to think of all the long, empty years ahead without him.
Ragnhild had been kind, doing her best to keep up her friend’s spirits. Astrid was grateful for it. Without that the days would have been bleak indeed. She tried to keep herself occupied and silently prayed to every god she knew. If things did not turn out as they hoped then eventually another husband would be found for her.
‘You are fair and nobly born,’ said Ragnhild, ‘and you are now an heiress. My husband has confirmed that Einar’s estate in Vingulmark shall pass to you. With so fine a dowry there will be no lack of suitors. You need have no fear of the future.’
Astrid summoned a smile. For such a reward she had no doubt there were men who would take her, bastard child and all. Among them there might even be one or two who would use her with kindness, but they would never have her heart. That belonged to one man only and it always would.
* * *
As the cove and the steading came into view Leif felt a pleasant sense of anticipation. The voyage had afforded him leisure to clear his mind. He still didn’t know exactly what he was going to say to Astrid; all he knew was an overwhelming desire to see her again. With every day that passed it grew stronger. This wasn’t like the other times. Familiarity with her had not bred contempt, only a sense of rightness and belonging.
The steading was quiet and basking in the same atmosphere of peaceful prosperity. Leif smiled to himself. He’d only been away a few days yet it felt much longer. Once it would have been impossible to think that he might look forward to coming back here. As the arrivals approached the hall Aron appeared to greet them, clearly surprised to see them so soon.
‘I thought you’d be gone longer.’
‘We came too late for the battle,’ explained Thorvald. ‘By the time we’d dealt with Einar, the king’s forces had already defeated the rebels.’
‘Do I take it, then, that Einar and Gulbrand are dead?’
‘You do.’
Aron nodded. ‘Well, that’s good.’
They all trooped into the hall and the men put down their sea chests and called for ale.
Aron eyed his jarl uneasily.
‘Is something wrong?’ asked Leif.
‘The woman has gone.’
Leif frowned. ‘Astrid? Gone where?’
‘I think you’d better speak to Ingrid.’
The ensuing conversation removed every last trace of Leif’s good humour. ‘You connived in this?’ he demanded. ‘You allowed her to leave?’
Ingrid paled but she met his gaze. ‘It was not for me to forbid her. Astrid is not a thrall. She’s a free woman and entitled to go where she will.’
‘Her place is here. She belongs with me.’
‘Perhaps you should have told her that.’
His jaw clenched. ‘She knew it well enough.’
‘Did she?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You carried her off, got her with child and yet had no intention of marrying her. Why ever would she want to stay?’
Leif’s face turned pale too. ‘Where did she go?’
‘To a friend.’
He took a step closer. ‘Where, damn it?’
Ingrid swallowed hard. ‘To Vestfold. To the queen.’
He stared at her, dumbfounded. ‘To Ragnhild?’
‘She said the two of them were old friends.’
‘I last spoke with the queen only two days ago. She said nothing to me of Astrid’s presence.’
‘Perhaps Astrid asked her not to.’
His mind reeled. Had Astrid been at Mørkestein all the time without his knowledge? The palace was large and rambling. Concealment would not be hard, especially with the queen as an ally. Her orders would be obeyed without question. Moreover, she would not have given those orders unless Astrid had requested it. She’s my best friend. Suddenly it didn’t seem so incredible. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to think. She timed her flight well, waiting until he was safely out of the way and could not prevent it. Then she had deliberately avoided him in Mørkestein. It could not have been through fear of his anger, because she knew he wouldn’t physically harm her. That argued she really didn’t want to see him.
He cast his mind back. They had quarrelled on the night before he left but then made it up afterwards. He didn’t want them to part at odds with each other and she had agreed that they should not. In retrospect her reply implied a different kind of parting. She must have been planning her departure even then. His frown deepened.
‘No woman likes to be taken for granted,’ said Ingrid. ‘Astrid has no need to. She’s beautiful and nobly born and not without friends.’
He glared at her. ‘Astrid is mine, and if she thinks I can be so easily shaken off, she’s mistaken.’
‘She has the queen’s protection. You can’t remove her by force.’
‘We’ll see about that. Tomorrow I leave for Vestfold. When I return, Astrid will be with me.’
* * *
Anger smouldered through the rest of the evening until he retired. Then, as he lay alone in his bed, other feelings began to creep in. Not least were loss and pain. He’d once thought that achieving revenge had left a gap in his life but it was as nothing compared to the gap that Astrid’s absence left. Losing her was like losing his right hand. He had to get her back. In spite of what he’d said earlier, he realised that force was not the answer. He didn’t want to hold her against her will; if she stayed with him it had to be because she wanted to. You carried her off, got her with child and yet had no intention of marrying her. Why ever would she want to stay? He winced inwardly. His treatment of her had left much to be desired, but he could make it up to her if only she would let him. Somehow he was going to have to persuade her, make her understand how much he needed her.
Chapter Twenty-Four
On his return to the palace he was received again by Ragnhild. She greeted him courteously as before and then enquired of his business. Leif came straight to the point.
‘I think you know why I’m here, my lady.’
‘Perhaps. Would it have anything to do with Astrid?’
‘It would.’
‘I will enquire whether she will see you.’
‘I’m not leaving until I do.’
She raised an eyebrow. ‘Then you may be here some time.’
Leif drew a deep breath, fighting impatience. ‘I must speak with her, my lady.’
‘Must? I think you are in no position to make demands, Jarl Leif.’
For a moment he was sorely tempted to ignore her and go straight to the women’s quarters and find A
strid himself. Of course, if he did that the resulting uproar would bring the guards running, and at the very least he’d find himself ejected on his ear. Common sense prevailed.
‘I beg your pardon. I did not intend it so, my lady. It’s just that the matter is urgent.’
‘Urgent? How so?’
He controlled the urge to shake her. ‘I’ll explain that to Lady Astrid.’
‘If she agrees to see you.’
Leif put his hands behind his back. ‘Perhaps you would be so gracious as to ask her, my lady.’
Ragnhild inclined her head in acquiescence and then left him. Several minutes passed. He paced the floor slowly, frustration suddenly replaced by anxiety. What if Astrid still refused to see him? If she did agree to see him what was he going to say? All the speeches he’d prepared had gone right out of his head.
As more minutes passed, his anxiety increased. She wasn’t going to see him. She had to see him, even if it meant turning the palace upside down to find her and taking on every damned guard in the palace...
He heard a light footstep behind him and turned quickly, only to stop in his tracks. She was wearing a pale blue gown with a darker overdress edged with red embroidery. It was fastened at the shoulders with fine enamelled clasps. Her golden hair hung loose down her back. She might have been the daughter of a king. He watched her cross the room towards him. Although he could not yet detect any sign of her pregnancy, he could not deny that she was blooming.
With an effort he found his voice. ‘You look wonderful.’
‘Thank you.’
For a moment or two they lapsed into silence. Her expression was contained and thus hard to interpret.
‘I have missed you, lady.’
A hint of some deeper emotion flickered into the violet eyes. ‘Have you?’
He sighed. ‘I wish you had not left, Astrid.’
‘I thought it for the best.’
‘I’m sorry you did.’ He paused. ‘In truth, I’m sorry for many things.’
‘As am I,’ she replied.
‘You have done nothing to apologise for.’
‘Yes, I have. It was wrong of me to try and talk you out of avenging yourself when your honour demanded it. I see that now.’
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