Certain Sure
Reina M. Williams
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to places, establishments, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © Reina M. Williams 2011
Cover design by Laura J. Miller
www.anauthorsart.com
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any format without permission.
First Kindle Edition/December 2011
Acknowledgements
Many thanks to my friends and family, especially my mom, Patricia, Edith, Jessica, and Lisa.
Chapter One
Katie snuggled with her niece Rose, whose head lolled on the pillow, finally asleep. They’d spent the last few days pretending they were on vacation together: they explored the streets of the neighborhood, found oddly shaped rocks, sunbathed in the back yard, had tea with “Lady” Knight across the street, gathered leaves from the park, where they were explorers or botanists--though sometimes they forgot and played on the grass or swings before climbing the tall peaks of the play structure as if it was Mt. Tam. All the things Katie used to do in her childhood, here in this same house.
She kissed the top of Rose’s head. Rose’s silky fine hair smelled of Johnson’s baby shampoo. The wave of longing for a baby of her own threatened to pull Katie under, to convince her again to settle for Michael. For so long, her top goal had been to work at her dad’s pub, though after their last argument, Katie knew that wouldn’t happen. Still, her second objective—marriage and children—could be achieved with Michael. They didn’t have the kind of love Katie’d wanted, but dreams of happily ever after were just fairy tales. As her aunt Aleen said, you had to work for what you wanted, and usually it wasn’t what you thought it’d be. Dreams became nightmares, like whatever had happened between Aunt Aleen and Seamus, the mystery man from her past.
Katie slid out of her bed, gave Rose a last glance, and walked into the hall. The frosted glass light spilled bright on the pale mossy green walls, lined with family pictures: Rose, in all five years of her life, Katie and her sister Maureen at various ages, Maureen always the gorgeous Irish red head to Katie’s mousy, tiny self. A few of the whole family, what few of them there were, but no pictures much older than Katie herself.
At the ring of the doorbell, her hand flew to her mouth. She had forgotten her meeting with Michael. Jogging downstairs, she paused before opening the front door.
“You’re not ready,” he said once they’d said hello and she’d invited him in.
“I’m sorry. I completely forgot. Mary collapsed on Wednesday while I was there for lunch and she and Mr. Dunbar asked me to bring Rose here.” Katie shut the door and touched her thumb to her lips then pulled it away to clasp her hands behind her back. Almost twenty-four and she still bit her nails.
“Is she okay?” Michael said. His eyes roved the front entry, distracted.
“They’re not sure yet, but they think so. Mr. Dunbar’s taken her for the weekend to his favorite hotel in the city. She should hear from the doctor on Monday.” Katie bit her lip. Her older sister Maureen’s in-laws, Mary and James Dunbar, were part of Katie’s family—had been since Maureen and Fergus started dating when Katie was fourteen, Maureen sixteen, and Fergus eighteen.
“I guess she’s fine, then. Are you going up to change? Where are your parents?” Michael said, glancing into the darkened living room.
“Working at the pub. I’m here with Rose, I’m sorry. I know I promised we’d talk. Want some coffee or tea?”
“This isn’t what I had in mind.”
“I don’t see what difference it makes,” she said. They were only going to arrange how to tell everyone Katie had broken their engagement. Again.
“I hoped for something a little more romantic.”
“So you lied.” Katie walked down the hall.
“I do what I need to.”
Katie strode into the kitchen. “You know the way out,” she said over her shoulder.
“Don’t I deserve something? Not even a proper goodbye?”
Katie stopped and faced him. “Okay, goodbye.”
Michael stepped over to her, took her by the waist and kissed her, hard and long. Her stomach fluttered. Michael’s kisses were by far better than any of her other ex-boyfriends’. Maybe she should marry him and give everyone what they wanted. Even Aunt Aleen said she wouldn’t argue if Katie took Michael back.
Katie leaned into Michael’s chest. Wanting more than this was emotional nonsense--like those flashes of another man, a man too similar to her teen crush, Fin Dunbar, were--only silly daydreams, all in her imagination.
“You were saying?” Michael smiled. He was handsome with his light brown hair, deep green eyes, and chiseled features. The girls down at the pub teased that he resembled Brad Pitt, except Katie didn’t like Brad Pitt. She frowned.
“Aunt Katie, who’s that?” Rose called from the landing.
Katie ran up the worn carpeted stairs, Michael following.
“Hi, Rose. It’s only me. Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Michael said.
His patronizing tone made Katie shoot Michael a scowl, her best imitation of her mom’s school teacher scold. “I’m sorry, Rose. I forgot Michael was coming over. Let’s get you back to bed.”
Katie led Rose back into her room, where Rose had been sleeping every night, too scared to sleep alone. It was her first time away from her parents for more than a couple nights. Maureen and Fergus had gone on a second honeymoon for their fifth anniversary, a two-week tour of Europe, revisiting their favorite cities. Katie had never been outside California. Michael had wanted her to go with him, Fergus, Maureen, and Rose to Ireland last year, but, at the time, Katie couldn’t leave her AmeriCorps position in Oakland.
Michael stood on the landing when she came back out, having gotten Rose settled again.
“Whose room is that?” Michael asked.
“Mine.” Katie inhaled, already missing the sweet innocence which surrounded Rose.
“Do you know I’ve never been up here before? Maybe you’d like to show me the other bedrooms?” His eyes circled the U-shaped hall, the doors leading to the four bedrooms, the bathroom she and Maureen had shared, and the linen closet.
“How about tea?”
“I’d rather have something else,” Michael said in an undertone as he followed her downstairs.
“I think you’ve had that recently. Besides, it’s not on the menu.” Katie doubted that kiss she’d seen last week was all Michael had done with another woman, no matter what he said.
“It’d be different with you,” Michael said as he came up behind her, kissing her neck. She brushed him away. The scent of his sharp cologne left a tinny taste on her tongue.
“Do you want me to make you tea or not?”
Michael moved away, sighing. “Fine, if that’s all I can expect. Maybe some green tea?”
Katie nodded. After starting his tea brewing, she made herself a cup of black tea.
“Thanks, Katie. You’re going to be a wonderful wife.”
“Michael…” she said in warning.
“The invitations really need to go out. My mother’s been asking me why she hasn’t received hers yet.” He pushed his mug toward her.
“You haven’t told your parents?”
“Should I? We can work this out. We can give each other what we want.”
“You don’t know what I want,” Katie said. A who, not a what: Fin Dunbar. But he wasn’t the kind of man she should want.
“Don’t I?”
“No, you know what I thought everyone wanted for me.”
“Come on.” Michael studied her, making her hold his gaze. She shifted in her seat.
“That’s who you are. Why not
embrace it instead of fighting it? You’d be happier and so would everyone else.”
Katie blinked back her tears and gripped her mug. “Would I?”
“Yes. You wouldn’t stay with me for a year if you weren’t at all happy.” Michael scooted next to her, touching her hair. “It was just a kiss, Katie, it didn’t mean anything. I want you.”
“Why me? I can’t be what you want.”
“Yes, you can. Give us a chance. Once we’re married and our kids are older, I’ll convince your dad to let you manage the pub.”
Katie closed her eyes. Her dad would listen to Michael. Her parents would be so happy and when she and Michael were alone, when he held her silently, she felt content. Maybe that was all she could expect, maybe all those other feelings were Hollywood stuff. They wouldn’t last. If she and Michael ended up like Mary and James Dunbar, polite partners, as her Aunt Aleen told her they would, why would that be so bad?
“Okay.” Katie exhaled a shaky breath.
“I knew you’d come around.” Michael smiled, satisfied, like when he won a tennis match. “Here.” He slid the engagement ring back on her finger.
Katie tried to return his grin, but she couldn’t. Her throat stung and her ears tightened. Her feet tingled, ready to run to her room. Instead, she plodded to the sink and washed the dishes before setting a plate of cookies on the small kitchen island. Michael wouldn’t eat one, of course, but Katie put them out anyway. There was something wrong with a man who never ate cookies.
Michael knew how to placate her, Katie had to admit, as he held her on the sofa in the family room. He’d led her in, put on one of her favorite movies, “When Harry Met Sally,” even though he didn’t like it, and held her almost the whole time. The tiny guilty whisperings began again that this wasn’t how he wanted to spend his evening. That had always been a problem for her. When they did what Michael wanted, she was usually miserable but guilt blistered her, like hot oil popped onto her skin from the deep fryer, when they did what she wanted.
“Did Maureen give you the name of her stylist?” Michael asked as he ran his hands through her hair.
“No.” Katie shrugged away from him. So Maureen had long, straight, deep red hair. There was nothing wrong with Katie’s wavy, shoulder length, light brown locks.
“I thought you wanted to try a new look before the wedding.”
“No, you wanted me to. I like my hair the way it is.”
Michael shrugged and sat up. “My parents want you to come up for a party at the country club next weekend.”
“Do we have to?” Katie frowned at the way she sounded, like a spoiled child.
“It’s important to me,” Michael said as he squeezed her arms then took her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. “I did what you wanted tonight, can’t you come with me?”
“Okay.”
Michael kissed her, soon pressing her to him. Katie’s stomach jittered, as usual.
“Michael…” she said as he moved his hands under her shirt while nuzzling her neck. “Rose is upstairs.”
“She’s asleep.” Michael leaned her back into the sofa. Katie pushed him away, all the harder when the side door opened. Michael slowly sat up while Katie smoothed her clothes.
“Michael. Good to see you here,” Katie’s dad said, standing by the doorway. Michael rose and shook his hand and said hello to Katie’s mom.
“I suppose I should be going,” Michael said.
“No need to leave on our account. We’re going up. Stay as long as you like.”
“Rose will get me up early. Thanks for coming over,” Katie said. As she walked past her father, he took her hand. He hadn’t given her a hug or cast her a glance in over a week, since she’d told him she’d broken up with Michael.
“Back on, is it?”
“Yes, Dad.” Katie met his eyes; their dark depths still glinted almost warily. But he hugged her. Her dad wasn’t a big man, but his solid frame and Old Spice and hops scent threw a cloak of safety around her, if only for a moment. Katie put her head into his shoulder before he pulled away.
“Good girl. You’ll be happy.” Her dad patted Katie’s arms and she gave him a weak smile. “Goodnight Michael. Katie, you lock up.” He kissed her forehead. Her mom gave her a peck on the cheek. Everything would be okay now, she was loved.
She followed Michael out and kissed the corner of his mouth.
“I’ll be in Tahoe this weekend, but I’ll call you,” Michael said. Katie’s stomach dropped. She suspected he wouldn’t be alone. “I see that look. My family goes up every Memorial Day weekend, remember?”
Katie nodded, scuffing her feet on the door mat. Why did she feel so guilty? He’d given her reason to be suspicious.
After he left, she locked the door then walked around the house, checking the side door, turning off the lights. She’d be married in five weeks. She needed to get happy.
Standing in the darkened kitchen, she peered at the banquette. Moonlight shone through the windows, over the green and white checked half-curtains, creating pools of light and shadow. She swallowed and shut her eyes. A flash of the man, the man from her visions: he stood in the side yard, unseen in the shadows. “Come here, Katie,” he said.
Shivering, she opened her eyes and fumbled to unlock the door. Peeping outside, only the roses, lavender, and white-faced daisies nodded welcome, bathed in the glow from the neighbors’ porch lights. Of course no one was there. Katie didn’t believe in such nonsense as dreams and visions. Hugging her arms, she trudged upstairs.
Katie and her parents took Rose to Nealon Park the next morning where they all enjoyed the sunny day and taking turns pushing Rose on the swing. Trees whispered in the light breeze-- shush, shush. Even nature told her to be quiet, do what everyone wanted. As they walked out, Katie’s dad gave her a half hug.
“You’re going to be happy. Michael is a good, responsible lad. If there’ll be more grandchildren on the way, I better get help down the pub.” Katie’s dad claimed he wouldn’t work so hard if he had more grandchildren to spend time with.
Katie crossed her arms. When she was a girl, her dad encouraged her to work at the pub. It was something special they shared. But after Katie started college, all that changed. If she held onto the warm childhood feelings she’d be okay. If she didn’t think too much she could do this. Everyone told her she thought too much.
They ate lunch around the kitchen table, Katie’s dad teasing them.
“Are you sure you want to eat pizza tonight, Rose? Don’t you know it’s what monsters eat?”
“I love pizza! You don’t like it.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you when a raft of monsters come knocking and me not here to protect you.” He wagged his finger at them, a grin softening his steeliness.
“I’ll be here, Rose,” Katie said.
“You’ll protect me,” Rose said, as if it was a definite fact, which it was.
“Certain sure.” Katie touched Rose’s hair in a quick movement while Rose chewed the last bite of her tuna sandwich. A fierce flash jolted Katie. No one would ever hurt her girl, not if she was around to prevent it.
“Have fun, girls. We’ll try to be home by ten, Katie,” her dad said as he and her mom got ready to leave. Usually Katie would beg to work down the pub with them, but since she had Rose to take care of, she didn’t.
Rose and Katie waved them off, her mom and dad’s light brown hair touching as they leaned their heads together, strolling down the front path to the driveway. Then she and Rose ran into the back yard where they spent a long time peering up at the clouds and making big daisy chains from the plants in the side yard. Bouncing, Rose tugged her inside, where she insisted on doing Katie’s hair. Maureen had been teaching Rose to braid. Katie put up Rose’s hair, so like her own was, wavy and dark wheat colored, topping her head with a princess tiara. They giggled at each other in the mirror. Rose was the image of Katie as a girl, but Katie thanked God Rose had more confidence and smarts.
Down to th
e kitchen they tromped, where Katie tied aprons on them both. She stifled her giggle at Rose dwarfed in the big striped apron. Taking out the dough she’d made earlier, Katie set out the flour, board, rolling pin, and pizza pan, pulling a low stool up to the island where they would work. She and Rose got out all the toppings and started the oven heating. As she set Rose on the stool, ready to roll out the dough, there was a loud knock on the front door.
“Blast,” Katie said, waiting a moment, hoping whoever it was would leave. Now the doorbell rang. “Stay here and don’t touch anything. I’ll be right back.”
Katie jogged out and up to the door, opening it with a swoosh. Fin Dunbar stood on the brick stoop, a boyish grin on his face, his arms laden with flowers and packages. Katie stared at him, a surge of electricity she hadn’t felt in years powered through her. She touched her stomach.
“Hello, Katie. Isn’t Rose here?” His lilting voice matched his dark Irish charms, his black hair curved roguishly across his brow, his deep brown eyes twinkled.
Katie touched her cheek, knowing a deep blush mottled her fair skin. “Oh! She’s in the kitchen, we’re making--”
A screech twisted by as something metallic clattered to the floor. Fin dropped his things inside the door, giving Katie a look she’d only ever seen from his father, Mr. Dunbar, when he was displeased, and pushed past her toward the kitchen. Katie shut the front door, shaking her head. Why did he have to show up now, just when she’d gotten back with Michael? It didn’t matter—Fin wouldn’t want her. And she wouldn’t let herself want him again.
Rose shrieked. Running, Katie followed Fin into the kitchen.
Chapter Two
Katie suppressed her laughter at the sight which greeted her--flour snowy over the floor and Rose, a light dusting on Fin as he held their petite niece up.
“Is the princess a chef today?” Fin asked. He laughed, quick and hearty. The wave of longing Katie’d felt before swirled to tsunami proportions.
“Uncle Fin!” Rose said.
Certain Sure Page 1
