Class Mom

by Laurie Gelman

“Max, want to come with me or stay with Chyna?”

  “Mommy, I’m working.”

  “Righty-o! I’ll be back in a little while.”

  On my walk over to the table, I am stopped at least a dozen times by friends and customers all congratulating me on the success of the day, as though I had anything to do with it. I promise to pass along their compliments to Ron, if I ever see him again. Finally, I spy the announcer’s table and Garth chatting up some guy in a suit. I wait until he sees me, then I wave him over. I’m not in the mood to press any more flesh.

  “There you are! I was looking for you. You must have really had to pee.”

  “You have no idea,” I respond. “Where’s Nina?”

  “She’s getting something from the car. How are you feeling?” He puts his arm around me.

  “I feel great! That was a breeze. I wanted to go right back and do it again. How did I look?”

  “Like a girl who’s ready for a bigger challenge, that’s for sure. I’m so proud of you. You must be on such a high.”

  Well, I was, I think but do not say. The whole Miss Ward/Kim Fancy drama has really pulled me off track. Garth is right—I should be walking on air. Instead, all I want is to find Nina and tell her everything. But Garth doesn’t need to know any of this.

  “I am. It was amazing and I owe it all to you.” I give him a hug.

  I can tell Garth is happy. “And we aren’t finished yet. August, baby. That’s when the real deal will happen. We need to keep training all summer.”

  “I’m ready,” I tell him. I spot Nina walking toward us. “I’m going to steal your girl for a few minutes.” He smiles and waves me on.

  I grab Nina’s arm and redirect her to a bench near the street.

  “Looks like you and Ron—”

  I cut her off immediately.

  “I have to tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone else.”

  “Okay.” Nina seems more dubious than curious.

  “Swear on Chyna’s life that you won’t say anything.”

  “Uh, no. But I’ll swear on our friendship, if that makes you feel any better.”

  I regard her for a moment, then nod.

  “Good enough.” I take a deep breath. “I just saw Miss Ward and Kim Fancy making out by the Porta Potties.” I wait for a reaction, and Nina doesn’t disappoint. Her eyes nearly pop out of her head.

  “Are you shitting me?”

  “Nope.”

  “Didn’t you tell me one of them slapped the other?”

  “Yup.”

  “Are you sure they were making out? Maybe they were just hugging.”

  “With their tongues?”

  “Oh, my God, seriously?”

  “Yup.”

  “Was it hot?”

  “No!” I laugh. Only Nina.

  “I’m just sayin’—they’re both good-looking women. Would a guy think it was hot?”

  “Probably. Not really the point I was getting at, though.”

  “This is seriously good gossip.”

  “You promised you wouldn’t say anything,” I remind her.

  “I won’t. Wait, can I tell Garth?”

  “Of course.” I know I’ll be giving Ron a play-by-play later.

  Nina looks past me toward the parking lot.

  “We should get back. Garth is giving me the ‘Mayday’ sign.”

  While Nina goes to rescue Garth, I check in with Max, who is still manning the Gatorade table with Chyna.

  “Hey, guys. Having fun?”

  “Mom, I’m hungry. Can Chyna and I go to McDonald’s?” I can see Max is losing interest in his job, and the golden arches next door are acting like a bat signal on him. Let’s see, Pop Tarts for breakfast and now McDonald’s for lunch. I hope Child Protective Services isn’t watching.

  “I guess so,” I say. “But I don’t have my purse with me.”

  “I have money from my mom,” Chyna assures me.

  “Okay. Well, don’t eat too much if you’re going to do the course later.”

  “We won’t,” they say together, and head off.

  The event is going strong. People are still lined up to do the course, and the announcer has started to play great motivational tunes like “We Will Rock You” by Queen. I smile to myself, because I’m happy for Ron. This is a real win for him.

  I pass Ali Gordon limping to her car and realize we’d never finished our conversation.

  “Are you okay?” I ask her.

  “Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just my calves are starting to seize up. I think I should have trained a bit for this.”

  “As someone who did nothing but train, I’m going to agree with you. Need some help?” I lean toward her.

  She gives a resigned laugh and puts her arm over my shoulder. “I guess I do, thanks.”

  I support her around the waist and we start walking. I’m generally a nice and helpful person, but I’m not going to pretend I don’t have an ulterior motive. I want to see if I can get Ali to spill the beans about her and Don. I’m in no shape to be clever or crafty, so I just come straight out with it.

  “So, what’s your deal with Don?”

  She sags a bit more into me.

  “I’m sorry I said that earlier. I just get frustrated sometimes.”

  “Why?”

  She sighs. “Look, he’s a good guy. He’s just really…” She’s searching for a word, but I don’t have any suggestions.

  “He’s Peter Pan,” she finishes.

  “He dresses in green and flies around the city?” It’s a joke, but apparently not to Ali.

  “I mean, he has Peter Pan syndrome. He doesn’t want to grow up.”

  “Really? I don’t get that from him at all.”

  “Why would you? You haven’t had to raise a kid with him.”

  I think about that for a second.

  “Is he not involved with Lulu’s life? I mean, he shows up for all the school stuff.”

  “Yeah, that’s a recent development. Now that she walks and talks and communicates, all of a sudden he wants to be Dad. When she was a baby, forget it.”

  “That’s rough. Why did you guys have a kid to begin with?”

  She gives a bitter guffaw.

  “The condom broke.”

  “No!” I gasp. “Oh, my God, that actually happens? I always think of it as an urban myth like the alligators that live in the New York sewers.”

  This she does laugh at. “Nope. Not a myth. We had only been dating a few months when it happened. That’s my car.” She points to a beige Hyundai parked on the corner. She takes her arm from around my neck and fishes her key fob out of her fanny pack. But I’m not letting her leave just yet.

  “And you wanted to keep the baby, of course.”

  “We both did. I mean, Don was forty-two at the time and I was in my late thirties, so we thought why not, you know? He wanted to get married, but I held off on that, thank God. I was like, ‘What’s the rush?’ Don was really into it until Lulu was born, and then reality set in.”

  “Oh, God,” is all I can think of to say.

  “He freaked out.” She sighs and leans against her car. “He was actually jealous of all the attention Lulu got. He really didn’t get it. We started fighting all the time, so I told him if he couldn’t accept that he wasn’t the child anymore then he should just stay away.”

  “And did he?”

  “Yes!” she yells. “Can you believe it? I didn’t see him for, like, three years.”

  “What an asshat.” I can’t help but think how lucky I am to have Ron “I’ll change the diaper” Dixon.

  “My parents live in Des Moines, so they weren’t much help. I was on welfare for a while. I mean, it really sucked.”

  “When did he come back?” This conversation is making me remember how tough it was carting Vivs around Europe while I was pregnant with Laura. Now there’s a book I should write.

  “You won’t believe me.”

  “Try me.”

  “We met speed dating.�
��

  “What?”

  She nods her head with wide eyes.

  “Of all the gin joints, right? When he sat down in front of me I nearly spat my drink out.”

  “What did you say to him?” I’m completely spellbound.

  “I actually said, ‘Of all the gin joints.’” She shrugs. “We agreed to meet afterward, and he claimed he wanted back in Lulu’s life.”

  “So you let him?”

  “Not right away. I mean, the guy was AWOL for three years. If he’d wanted back in so badly, he could have called or emailed anytime. I always wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t gone to that stupid dating thing.”

  I give her another way to look at it.

  “But it’s kind of romantic. Like it was meant to be.”

  “I guess. He’s been around a lot. It’s been great having help with Lulu, especially money help. And, I don’t know if you know this, but he’s really good with kids.”

  “I actually witnessed that firsthand on a field trip.”

  “He’s a natural. It makes me sad for him that he missed all those years with Lulu.”

  “Do you guys date other people?”

  “I’m not sure what he does, but I haven’t had a date in two years. That’s why I want to get in shape, you know? Stop looking like something the cat dragged in.”

  I definitely knew where she was coming from. After I had Max, “dumpy” was the only real way to describe me. That’s why I joined Curves. I consider suggesting it to Ali.

  “You’re hardly something the cat dragged in,” I assure her. “Have you guys ever considered getting back together?”

  Ali opens her car door and groans loudly as she eases herself into the driver’s seat. “Don talks about it, but I don’t know. I’m still getting over being mad at him.”

  I nod.

  She starts her car. “Thanks for the help.”

  “Epsom salt bath and Advil,” I advise. “For the pain.”

  23

  You’d think with all my newfound knowledge I would have been out there like a bumblebee pollinating all of William Taft Elementary with news of Miss Ward, Kim Fancy, and the phantom Sasha Lewicki. But I didn’t. I sat on all of it, which if you ask me shows Herculean restraint. Ron thinks I’m just scared of the fallout, and maybe I am. This isn’t just “I saw her bingeing on ice cream at Ben and Jerry’s” gossip. This is information that has the potential to hurt people and change lives. I keep thinking about Nancy Fancy and how she will have to deal with everything if this comes out. And poor little Nadine Lewicki! Oh, wait, she’s not real.

  I know I should at least let Asami know she was right all along and put her out of her misery, but I don’t know what she’ll do with the information, so I simply go on with my life.

  The mud run at Ron’s store was a huge success. It was even on the front page of the Kansas City Star, albeit below the fold. The picture they used was of Garth just getting out of the mud. You can actually see my elbow in the shot! The lieutenant governor called Ron personally to thank him. They want him to start thinking about next year and maybe doing a cross-promotion with one of the TV stations.

  It’s mid-May, so Vivs and Laura are done with school for the year, but both have opted to stay on campus and work rather than come home. I can’t say I’m surprised. Love is definitely in the air in Manhattan, Kansas. They are both coming home for Max’s last day of school, which to my shock and awe is only two weeks away. Normally, the kids would be in classes until the third week of June, but apparently the school board has scheduled good old William Taft for a facelift, so they’re shelving those oh-so-critical last two weeks when the kids do nothing but play games and go on field trips.

  I realize I should email Miss Ward to find out if she wants to have a year-end party. The last day of school isn’t a Hallmark holiday, is it?

  I get up from folding laundry and head to the kitchen-counter office to send her an email. When I log on I notice that Shirleen Cobb, Nina, and Miss Ward have all emailed me. Aren’t I the popular one today! Just for shits and giggles, I read Shirleen’s first.

  * * *

  To: JDixon

  From: SCobb

  Date: 5/23

  Subject: Play date

  Jen,

  Apparently Graydon would like to have a play date with Max. I’d like to have it at my house so I can monitor what Graydon eats. How about this Saturday?

  Shirleen

  * * *

  Yes, Graydon and Max are friends again. The whole “You’re a liar” incident is long forgotten … by some. I’m just glad Shirleen wants to host. I already have more gum than I can chew. Worrying about Graydon’s list of dos and don’ts just might push me over the edge. I email her back telling her it’s fine and move on.

  * * *

  To: JDixon

  From: NGrandish

  Date: 5/23

  Subject: Hey

  Breaking news from the principal’s office! Call me.

  Xo

  * * *

  Just then my phone buzzes and I see that Nina has texted me the same thing. I think I know what it is. She has been making noise about stepping down as PTA president, but I always assumed she was all hat and no horse. Wow, I guess she finally did it. I’ll call her later.

  * * *

  To: JDixon

  From: PWard

  Date: 5/24

  Subject: Today

  Hi, Jenny,

  I know we’re coming up to the long weekend, but could you meet me in the classroom after school today at 3?

  Thanks,

  Peggy

  * * *

  Finally! The universe has rewarded my patience and cowardliness. Miss Ward wants a meeting. I’ll seriously die if Kim Fancy is there, too.

  I type back a quick affirmative reply to Miss Ward, then text Peetsa and ask if she can take Max home with her after school.

  I just have time to run up and take a mini shower (no hair washing), put on a fresh mom uniform, and head to Starbucks before my meeting. Peetsa has responded that she will take Max with her and Zach while they go grocery shopping for their Memorial Day barbecue, which we’re invited to. I really owe her one. Taking two six-year-olds grocery shopping is only slightly easier than herding cats.

  “You look good, Mama,” I say to her at pickup. It’s a sunny spring day and Peetsa has busted out a short pleated skirt and a light blouse for the occasion. She looks so pretty.

  “I thought you weren’t going to be here.” She squints at me.

  “Miss Ward asked to meet with me.”

  “About what?”

  I shrug. “No idea.” I hate lying to her. Fortunately, Ravi comes up to us, and the subject turns to summer and what we’re going to do with the boys. We’re trying to formulate some kind of shared schedule when the school bell rings. The good weather has infected the kids and there is extra noise and activity as they pour out of the building.

  I wave Max over and give him a hug. He smells like dirt, so I can tell they were outside a lot today.

  “Hey, buddy, do you mind going with Zach T. for a while? I need to meet with Miss Ward.”

  “Are you going to talk about me?” He looks worried.

  “Nope. We’re going to talk about the super big end-of-the-year party we’re going to have for you guys.” Peetsa raises her eyebrows at me, and I shrug.

  “Can we get a bouncy castle?” Max asks.

  “And cotton candy,” Zach T. adds.

  “It’s not a carnival, guys, it’s just a party. I’ll see you later.” I wave to Ali and Lulu as I walk toward the school. My phone rings just as I am walking in. It’s Nina.

  “I’m sorry, I meant to call you earlier. Did you do it? Did you quit?”

  “I was going to, but I’m having second thoughts. But I did overhear something that you’ll be interested in.”

  “What?” I pause in the lobby because I don’t want my voice echoing down the empty hall on my way to room 147.

  “Miss Ward re
signed.”

  “What?”

  “Yup. Apparently she told Jakowski she’s leaving. I don’t know anything else.”

  “I’m actually on my way to a meeting with her right now.” I whisper even though there is no one around.

  “Oh, my God. Go find out what’s going on and call me right back.” Nina hangs up before I can even say good-bye.

  I put my phone in my purse and hurry to the classroom, where I find Miss Ward sitting at her desk, humming a kids’ song and organizing some papers. When she sees me, she jumps up much the way she did on curriculum night, oh so many months ago.

  “Jenny!” She hugs me. “Thanks for coming. Sit down. I have some news for you.” She hops up to sit on her desk, leaving me with either one of the kids’ tables or one of their chairs. I choose a table and just hope it holds me.

  “What’s up?” I ask as casually as I can.

  “I wanted to let you know that I have resigned.”

  “Really?” I act genuinely surprised, or at least I hope I do. “Why?”

  I think she’s going to confess that she got caught inventing a fake student and parent and they asked her to leave. But once again, she surprises me.

  “The private school I used to work at in New Jersey really wants me to come back, and they’ve made me a great offer.”

  “Really? Wow. Good for you,” is all I can think of to say. And then something occurs to me. “You could have just emailed me the news. Why did you want to meet?” Bold, I know. But I’m not walking away without answers.

  She looks at me slyly. “I thought you might have some questions for me.”

  “I do, actually. Did you want to have an end-of-year party? I meant to email you about it.”

  “Sure.” She waves her hand at me. “Anything you want. I’ll leave it to your imagination. Anything else?”

  I sigh. She clearly wants me to ask.

  “Why did you make up Sasha and Nadine Lewicki?” There, it’s out.

  She gives me a smile that lets me know she thinks she has won some kind of standoff.

  “Well, I was new here, and I wanted to keep tabs on the class without anyone knowing it. I loved your emails, by the way. You’re very funny.”