He'd done a month in the Red Army as well, then returned home after dropping out. Pock-marked Lu'd almost had his liver and lungs, but fortunately he sold a coffin he'd prepared for his grandmother, held a three-table banquet in atonement, and begged two people to be his guarantors-even so, he only just escaped with his life.
"That Pock-marked Lu, I'd run his ancestors through! Son of a tiger and a pig-sticker, stupid he was, evil too, even if his death took seven days and nights it still wouldn't settle these scores!" When he reached the bit about his grandmother's funeral, he couldn't stop himself howling and yowling. Out came the snot and tears again, once again he wiped his nose with the palm of his hand.
This wipe set my mind more at rest.
"If Chairman Mao and the Communist Party hadn't come, I, Luo Yuxing, wouldn't be here today!"
"Well said! You must say that when you get onto the stage, you must cry."
"Cry? Of course I'll cry!"
To my everlasting regret, he didn't actually cry. But still, it wasn't too bad: though he stammered a little from nerves, he basically produced the memorized speech, going from history to reality, from the individual to society, using philosophies like the "externals/fundamentals" theory, spoke of his own outstanding achievements, and praised socialism. He didn't wander too far off the point, thanks to my repeated earlier warnings to him, didn't end up blabbing about having been a porter for the GMD and having eaten American flour. The worst he did was to extemporize a little when denouncing revisionist philosophy: revisionism was really bad, he said, it plotted against Chairman Mao and harmed the meeting we were having now, held up work. Although this wasn't quite the point, it still went along with the general idea.
So, as it turned out, the three days I'd spent getting him to memorize it weren't wasted.
Afterwards the commune nominated him a few times to go and speak in other communes. By then Fd been given a temporary transfer to the County Cultural Institute to write theater scripts and didn't have much to do with him. All I heard about was that one time when, returning from philosophy work, he passed a mad dog on the road that attacked him and took a bite out of his leg; medical treatment came too late and he was bedridden for about six months. Later on, he scattered-died.
I remember the last time I saw him: a plaster stuck on his forehead, hardly anything left of him apart from his two eyes, he was watching oxen from the side of the field. A golden yellow butterfly was nibbling at the oxen's backs.
When I asked about his sickness, his eyes widened in surprise: "Strange, isn't it, I've never been bitten by a dog, and now one comes and bites me here."
This remark struck me as odd.
He lifted up his leg to show me. What he meant was, there'd been a scar on this leg where a sickle had cut him, where he'd fallen, and in the end a dog bit him here as well. He'd reflected on this replication a hundred times without ever figuring it out.
"Be better soon, eh?"
"How's it going to get better then?"
"Had an injection?"
"Doctors can cure illness, they can't cure fate."
"You should have faith, old man, it'll get better."
"What's the good in getting better? Won't I still have to slave like a beast of burden? Planting rice, digging the hills, what's so great about that? Much better to watch oxen like I am now."
"Don't you want to get better?"
"What's the good in not being better? It hurts me to take just one step, I can't even squat in the toilet hut."
He hadn't lost his way with words.
He had a small, pink radio in his hand, probably brought to him recently by his godson, a rare treasure indeed for country people.
"Here's a good friend," he pointed to the radio, "from morning till night, never stops talking, never stops singing, don't know where he gets his energy from."
He held the radio to my ear. I couldn't hear very well since the sound was too soft; probably the batteries were too low.
"Everyday I know whether it's raining in Beijing," he said smiling.
It was only later that I found out the illness had already reached his vital organs, that he'd put his funeral shoes at the head of the bed, afraid that when the moment came he wouldn't have time to put them on. But still, calmly as ever, he got out of bed to watch the oxen for a couple of days, to put down a layer of fresh grass in the ox pen, to twist two lengths of ox tether; he even smiled and discussed the rain in Beijing with me.
*Mouth-Ban (and Flip Your Feet)
: The team leader had asked the bamboo carpenters to mend the bamboo baskets and winnowing baskets, but there was no money for meat. Fucha, who, in his capacity as public accountant, was responsible for getting hold of meat to treat the carpenters, reckoned that Uncle Luo would be flush, that maybe he'd have his remittance from his godson in Nanjing, and decided to try borrowing a couple of yuan to tide things over. Uncle Luo said he didn't have any money; what godson? he said, he spends all his salary on Party fees, he'd long forgotten all about his birth-meeting godfather.
Fucha didn't really believe him and said he'd return anything he borrowed, he wasn't going to keep what was his. What good was the money doing moldering in a crack in the wall?
This needled Uncle Luo: "Slanderer, you slanderer! Fucha, my boy, I'm eight years older than your dad, where's your conscience? Where's your conscience?"
That day Fucha had been frazzled by the sun, traipsing everywhere- with no success-to borrow the money, and as he walked along the road afterwards he couldn't stop himself swearing: "Flip your feet!"
You couldn't help saying things like this when the sun was just too hot.
Little did he realize that "Flip your feet," the most taboo oath that Maqiao people knew, the most poisonous curse imaginable, was practically equivalent to digging up someone's ancestral grave. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, two bamboo carpenters standing nearby jumped in surprise and looked Fucha over twice. Fucha was probably just like me, having no idea about the phrase's history, nor much time for mouth-bans, and the words just slipped out of his mouth when his guard was down.
The next day, Uncle Luo was bitten by a mad dog and set off for the underworld.
Uncle Luo's death became a source of terrible heartache for Fucha. There were, besides, some private mutterings in Maqiao that held Fucha responsible. According to local custom, a curse could still be retracted even after it'd been set loose: all it would've taken was for Fucha to stick incense into his doorframe in time, cut off a chicken's head, wash the threshold with chicken's blood, and Uncle Luo's life would have been protected. But Fucha had been busy that day and he forgot about this set of procedures. Afterwards, he explained to a lot of people that it'd been an accident, he hadn't at all meant to curse Uncle Luo to death. Nor had he known how serious the curse was. Why did a mad dog happen to come along so coincidentally? He tended particularly to address such remarks to Educated Youth, because Educated Youth came from barbarian parts and didn't care much for Maqiao rules; they all told him to give himself a break, that he shouldn't pay any credence to it being a mouthban, or whatever. Some Educated Youth even thumped their chests in fraternal spirit: curse me, then, curse as hard as you can, they'd say, let's see what demons you can bring out!
Quite overcome, Fucha would wend his uncertain way back home.
Not long after this, whenever he was talking about the drought or grain rations with other people, he'd meander distractedly onto the business of Uncle Luo, how he hadn't really meant it, it was just that the sun had frazzled his brain and his mouth had run away with him for a moment, and so on and so forth. This started to get on people's nerves, started to become a problem.
A "mouth-ban" is a linguistic taboo. Words are, in fact, just words, no more than a whoosh of wind past the ears, unable to harm a single hair on anyone's body. But Fucha quickly shed a layer of flesh, the white hairs on his head noticeably increased, and even when he flashed a smile it would lack depth, it would be a facial exercise without roots i
n his inner being. Previously, he'd generally been a neat dresser, would even glance in the mirror and comb his hair, would always pin his collar down straight and smooth with a few clips. But now his clothes were a mess: there was mud on his shoulders, his concentration easily wandered, had him doing his buttons up wrong, or losing his pen, his keys. In the past, he'd only needed a day to do the end-of-year accounts; now he had to sweat over them for three or four days, the accounts sheets heaped into a confused pile. His mind was decidedly not on the job, he'd search for ages, up and down in the pile of account books, until he'd forgotten what he was looking for. In the end, after he'd managed inexplicably to lose five hundred yuan of cotton money in the supply and marketing cooperative, the team committee no longer felt he could stay on as accountant.
He himself no longer felt he could stay on as accountant; he handed over the account books and they found someone else. Afterwards, he kept ducks for a while but they were struck down by duck plague. He studied carpentry for a time but couldn't get the hang of it. Basically, nothing worked out for him, and he ended up rushing into marriage with a woman whose hair was a permanent bird's nest.
I was amazed that a mouth-ban could affect a person like that for decades. Couldn't he make up for it in some way? Couldn't he begin again?
In the opinion of most Maqiao people, he couldn't. The matter was already past, and just as you couldn't cry over spilt milk, Fucha's mouthban would be there forever; the longer it was there the bigger it got, the longer it was there the tougher it got, it would never quiet down and disappear.
The power of language infiltrates our lives deeply. Language is the source of human superiority: humans can pity animals for their lack of language and therefore for their lack of knowledge, for their inability to form societies, to acquire the enormous power of cultural accumulation and scientific progress. But the other side of the coin is that animals, unlike Fucha, will never, ever, after having shouted something improper, go into terminal decline until they've practically lost their capacity for survival. On this point, language makes humans more vulnerable than dogs.
A "mouth-ban" is a manmade convention, a framework for keeping feelings of fear and awe in place. Humans, who have used language to separate themselves from the animal world, still need to find some kind of framework for emotional expression, to give structure and solidity through commonly accepted psychological props. The way that Maqiao people laid down linguistic taboos is exactly like the way people elsewhere need rings when they marry, like a country needs a national flag, religion needs idols, humanitarianism needs stirring songs and enthusiastic speeches. As these things are passed on and inherited, they then become sacred, inviolable. Any violation on the part of their inheritors and users ceases to represent simply abuse of a piece of metal (a ring), a piece of cloth (a national flag), a piece of stone (an idol), or a few sound waves (songs and speeches), but instead becomes an insult to people's feelings: they have, to be precise, been set into some kind of emotional framework.
A totally rational being who seeks out logic and functionality alone, should consider not only Maqiao's mouth-ban, but also the sanctification of metal, cloth, stone, and sound-waves absurd-no objective logic dictates these strange psychological constructions should be thus. But this is how things have to be. People just aren't dogs, they can't regard material items as simply material. Even a totally rational being often bestows a spiritual aura on certain material items: he will, for example, separate one piece of metal (his lover's, his mother's or his grandmother's ring) from a big pile of metal objects, view it differently, imbue it with particular emotions. At this moment, maybe he's started to verge on the absurd, is no longer so rational-but he's started to act like a proper, normal person.
When a ring is no longer simply a lump of metal, rationality has ceded the field to faith, to all forms of unreasoned reasoning. The absurdity and sanctity of life join together in a bizarre fusion.
Confucius's dictum that "the true gentleman stays far from the kitchen" is, of course, a kind of emotional framework. He couldn't bear to witness the scenes of bloody slaughter that took place in the kitchen, but this didn't in the least prevent him from wolfing down meat (he had a particular fondness for lean, dried meat). The prohibition among Buddhist disciples on killing living things, even from eating meat and fish, is another kind of emotional framework. But they've failed to register that plants are also living organisms, and that, according to modern biology, although a tree can't let out a cry for help, it feels pain, has nervous reactions, and can even make quick physical actions in exactly the same way. But can we laugh at their emotional frameworks? Put another way, in what sense, to what degree, can we laugh at their forms of absurdity and hypocrisy? If we viewed things differently, if we encouraged every person, every child even, to carry out the large-scale slaughter of chicks, piglets, kittens, cygnets, and every edible living thing, if seeing children revel in such blood-letting, we felt no disquieting discomfort within, then absurdity and hypocrisy would no longer exist, to be sure, but at the same time wouldn't we have lost something else?
What should we do, then? Stop children from eating meat, from eating anything at all, or laugh at and destroy their sympathy for any beautiful living thing? This sympathy that comes from Confucius, from Buddhist disciples, and from our other cultural forbears?
It was only thinking about this that I came to understand Fucha. He hadn't retracted the curse, hadn't cut off a chicken's head and washed the threshold with chicken's blood in time to save Uncle Luo, and so was engulfed forever by an inescapable miasma of guilt.
He was totally irrational.
And totally rational.
*Knotted Grass Hoop
: Fucha had been to high school and was one of the few intellectuals for miles around. Not only was he a good accountant, he could also play the flute and the huqin (the Chinese violin), was respectful and polite to the old, careful and thorough in managing affairs, and his fine, pale white face monopolized the attention of women wherever he went. He was oblivious to this and his gaze was never careless or unfocused but always projected straight out in front of him, directed at some safe, reliable target, such as fields or the faces of old people. Was it that he was unaware or that he pretended to be unaware of the whispering huddles of women, of their pretences of bashful surprise? No one had any idea. Some women, seeing him arrive, would deliberately plant the rice seedlings sloppily, to see whether he'd take any notice. He was a cadre, of course he took notice, but-his face utterly expressionless-he'd say something like "Careful with your planting," then walk on without pausing. Another woman, seeing him approach, deliberately tripped over and scattered the basket of tea leaves on her shoulders all over the ground, crying out in pain to see whether he'd help her out. He was a cadre, of course he'd help her out, but poker-faced as ever he just lent a hand gathering the tea back into the basket, hoisted it onto her shoulder, then walked on.
He had no sense that there was someone still lying on the ground, still wiping her tears, that this was something of greater importance than tea leaves. He just said "Sorry, got to go"-this was not nearly enough, not by a long shot. Neither did he have any sense that, when women wore clothes more flowery than usual and stuck more cassia or peach-blossom flowers into their hair, this had anything to do with him.
"Use your eyes, can't you?" The women became less and less tolerant, and more and more indignant toward his cold arrogance. After a few of the locals had sought out Fucha's mother to ask about marriage and been brusquely rebuffed by Fucha, this indignation gradually took on collective proportions, spreading out from Maqiao to its environs, and became a common topic of conversation throughout the mass of unmarried girls in the area. Somethimes, when they met each other at the market, or at some mass meeting in the commune, there'd be times when they couldn't help huddling around to share their hatred of the enemy, to bad-mouth his flute, his huqin, his milky-white skin. They'd say Maqiao already had one Red-flower Daddy with Uncle Luo, looked like
it had a second generation Red-flower Daddy now-no, more likely it'd produced a eunuch the emperor didn't want. They reveled in their outbursts of venom, laughed till the tears fell.
Maybe they weren't as angry as all that. But their emotions were always magnified in the collective: things changed as soon as the girls got together. They lost control of their cells and nerve-ends, felt pain where there was no pain, itched where they didn't itch, felt happy where they weren't happy, angry where they weren't angry, they had to make a huge fuss about everything-nothing else would do.
In the end, about ten of them secretly knotted grass as an oath that none of them was allowed to marry him, and whoever broke the oath would be condemned by the gods to change into a pig or a dog.
This was called "knotting the grass hoop."
Time went on, year by year. Fucha had no idea such a grass hoop existed, had no idea he'd provoked such a sacred covenant. In the end, he won no daughter of a dragon king, no princess of a jade emperor, he took a wife whose hair was always badly combed, who always looked as if she had a chicken's nest perched on top of her head. This chicken's nest was the bedraggled result of these women's decade-long vow of collective hatred. Of course, long before this time, one by one they'd left their parents' homes to become the wives of other men. Among them, three could have chosen otherwise, since Fucha's matchmaker came to each of their houses in succession to convey the wishes of Fucha's mom and of Fucha. But they had a prior agreement, they'd knotted a grass hoop that they couldn't go back on and be shamed before their sisters. They had a sense of loyalty toward their earlier oath, a sense of joy in revenge, a sense of collective excitement that forgot personal interests, and shook their heads resolutely.
Shaogong, han - A Dictionary of Maqiao.html Page 33
