“Let’s play a game. Pretend for a second you’re the sort of person who tells me everything.”
A hard sigh coursed through her body. “I’m trying.”
“And your answer is past lives?”
“Or something.”
A silence fell between them at that. Dexter stared at her long enough to determine that she wasn’t kidding, and only then did his defenses fall. They’d been together long enough to know when the other dished bullshit, something she counted on to give her story some much needed credence.
“Raven?” he asked, his voice small.
“I don’t know how it happened,” she said quickly, “but I know it’s real. I have all these memories and they’re all mine. But they’re from the eighteenth century.” She expelled a deep breath. “I was One of the Few. And Nicolai was a vampire. And we were lovers.”
Dexter blinked. “Did you hit your head?”
“What?”
“Did you fall down and hit your head on something hard?”
Her heart wrenched. She knew it was a big pill to swallow, but she’d counted on at least some support. “Dex!”
“You have to know how this sounds, Rave.”
“Well, you were there tonight, weren’t you?” she demanded. “I passed out and when I woke up, I was someone else. I was me from another time.”
He rolled his eyes. “I really don’t think—”
“My name was Ravenna Mal. I was under the care of Kenneth Mal.”
“Uh huh. And Nicholas…”
“We were lovers. He was killed and I made a deal.” She licked her lips, her eyes growing distant. “I made a deal with a demon.”
“A demon?”
“A demon I summoned from Hell. Our deal stipulated that Nicolai would be reborn and so would I.” Raven bit her lower lip, cold shudders commanding her body. “This is it. This is the second chance I asked for. All I know is for…how long was I out?”
Dexter stared at her as though he’d never seen her before. “What?”
“I don’t know what caused it or why I remember. It was…” Her eyes widened. “My birthday. Something to do with my birthday. It was midnight when it happened, wasn’t it?”
The Guardian nodded. “The hour between midnight and one is the most sensitive.”
“I know.”
“And you were turning twenty-one.”
“I remember.”
“I told you going out was a bad idea.”
“I really don’t think that’s the point, do you?”
“Yeah, well, right now I told you so is looking pretty good.” Dexter heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know if your birthday has anything to do with what happened tonight, but if there was a reason at all for what happened, I would think that had to figure in.” He met her eyes somberly. “Raven, this is insane. You know it’s insane.”
“I have two sets of memories, Dex. Try to talk to me about sane.”
“All right. Impossible, then.”
“The world we live in doesn’t believe in impossible.”
“A relationship between a vampire and One of the Few…”
Raven waved a hand. “That’s why he was killed. That’s why I made the deal at all. It’s why I’m standing here.”
“You’re serious.”
“As a heart attack. Nicolai doesn’t remember me, but he’s mine. He always has been.”
A dangerous look crossed the Guardian’s face. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t.”
“What?”
“You can’t go to him, Raven. You can’t. You know the rules.”
“I played with fate to get here, Dex. This is the reason I’m alive.”
His hands came up. “All right. Say it’s true. Say I believe you. It’s different now, isn’t it? You’re One of the Few now, and Nicholas—”
“I love him.”
An exasperated sigh tore through Dexter’s throat. “Do you hear yourself?” he demanded. “Do you know how insane this sounds? You don’t know the guy—”
“I came through centuries to find him. Believe me, I know him.”
“Raven—”
“When we were together tonight, he was the way I remember. We’re not talking about me and some other girl, Dex. This is me, all me. And I came here to find him.”
“You’re certifiable.”
“You don’t believe me.”
Dexter made a face, waved dismissively and then disappeared into the kitchen. She waited, but when she heard him pop open a beer, she knew the conversation was over. It served as Dexter’s way of ending an argument.
Just as well. They could talk themselves in circles.
She knew what felt real: Nicolai, herself, and the emptiness in her heart.
Chapter 8
Colonial New Hampshire, 1701
A splatter of yellow, red, and orange stained her hands. Paint had long since crusted against her skin and she knew without a doubt she’d be scrubbing herself raw for hours to eradicate the evidence of her artistic foray. She was allegedly training right now. The light of day shielded her from the evils at night. The sunlit hours were, therefore, occupied by Kenneth and a variety of exercises she should have accomplished by suppertime.
Once upon a time, her Guardian had accompanied her into the daylight. He would stand under the cool shade of an oak tree, barking orders and offering criticism to whatever flaw he noted. Sometimes he had her hunt down demon breeding grounds and take out whole clusters of otherwise nocturnal creatures when they could not fight back. Sometimes he sent her on missions to find some ancient artifact rumored to be buried or hidden in the woods and caves surrounding their village. Sometimes he was contented to allow her to practice new moves on the scarecrows he constantly pieced together. No pattern existed in Kenneth’s orders. He simply threw whatever he wished at her, and he expected nothing less than perfect completion by sundown.
Today, the order of business entailed dismantling the hay-stuffed dummies with a series of new moves and low punches. Once she was finished, she was to piece the dummies together again and repeat as needed.
Only she wasn’t dismantling scarecrows. Point of fact, she was far from where she was supposed to be. Instead of spending a day under the sun in a hot field, she’d taken the familiar turn toward the cottage Nicolai had secured for them. It was the place he slept during the day, and the place where at she felt most at home.
No, the scarecrows would have to wait. Today she wanted to create something lasting, not destroy stuffed dummies while pretending they were anything like the very real dangers she faced every night.
She wanted to lose herself in a world where those dangers didn’t exist.
Ravenna turned her hands over and stared at her open palms. Yes, it would take hours to scrub the paint away.
But it was worth it.
She glanced up again with a grin. Nicolai would love this.
Things had changed between them so rapidly that it was hard for her, at times, to grasp that she hadn’t dreamt it all or lost her mind. It had actually happened. Nights were something she anticipated now with the impatience of a child at Christmastime. It had become increasingly difficult to smother her grin upon leaving the cottage at sundown, as difficult as keeping her feet from skipping every other step and her mouth from humming along with the song in her heart. Her duty had become fun, adventurous, passionate, and all because Nicolai was with her. He’d meet her smiling eyes with a twinkle in his own, grab her around the waist and maul her lips with his, demanding kisses as though it hadn’t been only a matter of hours since they last saw each other. Then he’d fall into stride next to her, and while he didn’t participate in the fight every night, he always kept vigilant watch at her back. He remained prepared to jump in if she needed him.
More often, though, Nicolai simply enjoyed watching her. She moved like poetry, he said, and he was a man who appreciated poetry.
The months had appeared good to them, if not a little stressfu
l. Ravenna didn’t know why, but she had assumed it would become easier to keep their secret the longer they were together. She’d thought the eggshells on which she treaded would become pliant with age, rather than harden. Even now, she expected her fear of discovery would ease in time. She expected that she would eventually stop looking over her shoulder. She expected the rush of terror commanding her insides upon sneaking into her bedroom every night would eventually fade. She expected so many things.
Even though Kenneth remained none the wiser, she remained terrified.
It was one of the reasons she insisted that Nicolai remain in the makeshift cellar they had built for use during daylight hours. Even if Kenneth did find the cottage that Nicolai had secured for them, he wouldn’t find her lover slumbering, and therefore wouldn’t have the opportunity to catch him off guard.
While Nicolai felt touched at her concern, he similarly remained certain that she had nothing to worry about. He did as she begged, of course, and had a second bed stored in the subterranean room. After their nightly patrols, they would race each other to their small home, warring with each other to see who could get naked the fastest. Limbs entangled, tongue battling tongue as they pawed at each other with need beyond anything any poet ever put into words. They would crash onto their bed and make love for hours, holding each other in the sweet aftermath while talking about things that held no consequence, but somehow made her happy all the same. In the early hours of morning, they would take solace in each other’s bodies again, argue about whether or not Nicolai would walk her home, and end their night with hungry, desperate kisses a safe distance away from the Mal residence.
Soon they would be able to awaken in each other’s arms. Soon they wouldn’t have to say goodbye every morning. Ravenna just had to make the move to leave Kenneth. She had to tell him it was over, that while she appreciated his guidance and his role as her guide, she felt ready to live her life.
She knew, of course, that Kenneth wouldn’t see things quite her way. Chances were that he wouldn’t even acknowledge her beyond a quick nod to the day’s itinerary. Nicolai, however, remained resolutely unconcerned. If Kenneth didn’t acknowledge her independence, he said, it was solely his problem. Once she declared herself free of him, she was no longer bound to his orders or subject to his anger. She and Nicolai would leave the village and go somewhere where her Guardian would never find them.
It sounded lovely, as far as dreams went.
She just hoped that she had the courage to make the dream a reality.
“Have you been here all day?”
Ravenna jumped and turned. “Nicolai,” she breathed, a blush tingeing her cheeks. She hadn’t wanted him to see her smeared with paint, but she had nowhere to hide so she didn’t try. She sat on her knees on the bedroom floor, hands saturated in a blend of orange and yellow, the wall for the most part complete, if not perfect. “I…um…is it sunset?”
“A few minutes ago,” he replied. “Didn’t answer my question. Have you really been here all day?”
She shrugged guiltily. “About an hour after you walked me home, Kenneth had me out again. I’m destroying scarecrows right now.”
“Because after fighting the spawn of hell all night, a lot of straw-ridden dummies are gonna provide you with good defense techniques?” Nicolai rolled his eyes, which landed, not so subtly, on her artwork. “This your alternative?”
Ravenna wrinkled her nose and wiggled, feeling at once very self-conscious. “I’m sorry it’s not good. I just thought…”
Nicolai turned back to her, his gaze tender, the lines of his face softened with awe. “Raven…”
A thrill raced down her spine. She adored that name. Not that she’d ever admit it, of course, but she adored it just the same. She loved the freedom of being Raven with him. Raven the girl, the lover, the woman.
Nicolai never expected her to be anything more, and never thought of her as anything less.
“Do you like it?” she asked gently, rising to her feet.
“You painted me the sunrise.”
She nodded, her heart skipping a beat. “Do you like it?” she asked again.
“Did you…God, you did this for me?”
“It’s still wet. Don’t touch it.” Ravenna glanced down with a small, smile. “I just thought, if we ever got the chance, we might watch the sunrise in here.” She indicated the small window that sat across from the entrance to the bedroom. “It should strike the wall every morning. I’m not sure if—”
She would like to think she would have said something profound had Nicolai not moaned her name and stormed forward, capturing her paint-smeared cheeks between his hands and brushing his lips over hers. As always, the taste of his kiss had the walls melting and the world swirling away until there existed nothing but the sensation of Nicolai’s mouth moving against hers, his thumbs caressing her cheeks as his tongue stroked hers. Nothing existed but this.
Nothing but Nicolai.
“You painted me the sunrise,” Nicolai murmured again, pressing a kiss across the corner of her mouth.
“You deserve it,” she murmured back.
“Oh Raven…”
“Do you like it?”
“You made it for me.”
Ravenna grinned and curled her arms under his shoulders, walking them backward not-so-subtly until her legs hit the edge of their bed. “Pretend for a second that I did not and it was someone else’s work.”
“But it’s not and you did.”
“I used the word pretend for a reason.”
He smirked against her mouth, his hands dropping to her waist so he could drag her shirt over her head. “Someone’s feisty tonight.”
“I’m always feisty.”
“And that’s why I love you.” Nicolai grinned, tossing her unwanted fabric to the ground, his palms now free to cradle her breasts. “Have I told you I love you?”
Warmth flooded her insides as heat flamed her cheeks. The words never grew old. He whispered them a thousand times a night. He’d kiss her hello and then tell her he loved her. He’d shout his love for her in the middle of a particularly nasty fight with the local demons. He’d make a mantra of the declaration as he unwrapped her from her clothing. His lips would whisper love as they kissed her skin. And the second his cock was locked inside her, his body sang all else which couldn’t be entrusted with words.
Nicolai loved her.
Someone in her life actually loved her, someone who didn’t see her as a duty or a burden, someone who loved her for who she was and not what she was. Every time he whispered those magical words, she propelled into a world where nothing lurked in the shadows, where nothing but Nicolai waited for her in the night. In this world, the place she called home was one she loved rather than dreaded.
“Not yet tonight,” she replied.
Nicolai’s eyes twinkled, his mouth skimming southward to taste her throat. “Shame on me.”
“Yes, shame.” She hissed and thrust her hips against his as he guided her onto her back, his body falling easily between her thighs. “You’re a bad man.”
He grinned, skimming his blunt teeth along her jugular. “The baddest.”
“Oh…touch me.”
“I am touching you, sweetheart.” His thumbs caressed her nipples before his left hand dipped between them to unfasten her trousers. “God, I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Nicolai glanced up and smiled into her eyes. “I love hearing that.” He watched her face expectantly as his fingers grazed through her curls, uncovering her clitoris and favoring the small pearl with a delicate caress. “Have you given any more thought to what I asked?”
Ravenna’s heart skipped a beat, and her breath caught in her throat. Thought? She’d been able to think of little else since the question crossed his lips, since he explained what it would mean to him—to them. It was one of the reasons she’d been desperate to occupy her mind all day.
She wanted to say yes more than anything.
The pa
rt of her remaining afraid of taking the final step, however, could not be moved. If she consented to what he’d asked, they would essentially be fugitives. They would have to run from Kenneth, the High Council, and the world. They would have each other even if they never had rest, and though her mind remained conflicted, her heart had decided.
She wanted this. Any life with Nicolai was better than the half-life she lived now.
“I’m afraid,” she murmured.
“Bollocks,” Nicolai replied. “You’re afraid of nothing.”
“I’m afraid of what Kenneth could do to you if he finds—”
He rolled his eyes, his index and middle fingers sliding between her vaginal lips, his thumb settling over her clitoris. “Not this again,” he muttered, though his tone was good-natured. While she knew he didn’t like her constantly tormenting herself over his safety, she also knew a part of him very much loved having someone worry over him.
“Nicolai, you need to listen—”
“I’m not afraid of the old man.”
Ravenna inhaled sharply, jerking her hips forward to drive his fingers farther into her body. “I’m afraid for you,” she replied breathily. “You don’t know what he’s capable of.”
“Vampire, kitten. Remember?”
“He’s killed vampires.”
“Raven, please.” Nicolai’s head ducked, his tongue flicking over one of her nipples. “We’ll go away. Far away. We’ll go anywhere that’s not here. I’ll take such good care of you.”
She smiled. “You already do.”
“We won’t have to say goodbye every morning.” Nicolai paused, his lips unable to refrain from brushing over her breast, his fingers adapting a cool rhythm driving in and out of her aching body. “If it’s the other part where you’re mine forever—”
“It’s not.”
If anything, the promise of eternity in Nicolai’s arms acted as the strongest counter to her head’s logical argument.
“Yeah?” he asked hopefully, the hand at her breast deserting her sensitive skin to free his cock.
“I want that with you, Nicolai.”
“Then take it.” He grinned and nipped at her ear. “We’ll watch the sunrise tomorrow.”
Ripples Through Time Page 9
