by Tricia Jones
She wasn’t about to beg.
Dropping her hands away from him, she moved back. The movement was so fast, so determined, she hit her head against the door. Discomfort reverberated through her neck into her shoulders, making her head spin a little.
“You okay?” Now he did touch her, cupping a hand on the back of her head to give it a soothing rub.
“Fine.” She tapped his hand away. The blow to her head, and Nathan’s refusal to hold her, made her temper flare. “What sort of stupid games are you playing, anyway?”
“Last time you were here I told you I don’t play stupid games. I’ll add to that by saying the games I do play are always with willing partners.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She said it for want of something better to say, shaking her head away when he traced his thumb across her jaw.
“When we sleep together it will be because we both want to in equal measure. I’ve no interest in having you any other way.”
“There was nothing equal about that kiss just then. You wouldn’t even touch me.”
“I can’t trust myself right now. Not since I felt your legs wrapped around me, felt you against me. A man only has a certain amount of control, Chloe.”
“So what are you waiting for? Me to tell you I want to have sex?”
“Not exactly, although I can’t say I wouldn’t relish the prospect.” He shook his head as if to clear it, but when he looked back at her, the irritation was still evident in his tight jaw and the gentle flare of nostrils. “I want more from you. You don’t trust me, I’m not sure why. Maybe there’s been some jerk in the past who hurt you.”
He waited, but Chloe dropped her gaze from his and looked at one of her shoes poking out of his pocket. How could she tell him the truth? How could she tell him it was herself she didn’t trust, and that she didn’t want her heart broken again? How could she tell him that he’d already started the process and that the thought terrified her?
She knew she should just ask him to take her home or to call a taxi for her, but something greater was pulling her in the opposite direction, making her want to stay with him, be with him…learn how to feel again…with him.
“You said something about a view from the terrace. How long will those torches burn?”
“A couple more hours.” He took the shoes from his pockets and handed them to her. “The terrace is this way.”
The terrace curved around the front of the house, giving views of both sides of the bay. Chloe walked to the ornate railing, thankful she could get a little distance between her and Nathan for a few moments. She kept her attention on the lights out on the rocks, dimmer now but still sparkling. They glowed, a tiny button of hope in the dense, dark cavern of sea.
Behind her she heard the tinkle of glass and turned to watch Nathan pour champagne. “You thought of everything,” she said, perhaps too accusingly, as he came toward her. He’d taken off his coat and loosened the dress tie so that it hung in two thin strands down the front of his white shirt.
“When I set the scene for seduction, I go all out.” His mouth set into a hard line as he handed her champagne.
“That’s not exactly what I meant.” She looked down at the champagne, then up at him. It was a powerful combination, the desire he unleashed in her and the tenderness she felt remembering what he’d done for her—how he’d made her first trip on the sea in years a magical experience.
“I want to thank you for all this. For making me get back on the water, trying to help me cure this phobia.”
“Did it work?”
She sighed. “I’m not sure. I don’t feel like going back out anytime soon. Not yet anyway. But tonight was lovely. Magical. Thank you.”
“Then let’s drink to magic.” He tapped his glass against hers. Sipped. All the while, his gaze stayed locked on hers.
It was a mysterious thing, when somehow the brain disengaged and pure instinct took over. Before she could think, reason it out, she took his glass and set it down with hers on a small mosaic table.
A wary expression spread across his face, and he drew his shoulders back. For an instant she thought she might lose her nerve, but she took a breath and let the words come. “I want you to kiss me. Properly this time. Arms and everything.”
“Chloe?”
Moving closer, she ordered herself not to think. “Do you see any panic in my eyes?” She snaked her arms around his neck and slipped her fingers through the dark silk of his hair.
“No.” Nathan sucked in a breath. “But I’m damn sure you can see it in mine.”
His body felt tight against hers and the thought of having this normally sexually confident male on his back foot spurred her on. “Why would you be panicked? This is what you want, isn’t it?”
“I’m not exactly sure what you’ve got in mind.” His gaze flickered over her face, cautious and circumspect. “That’s enough to send any man into a panic.”
“I would have thought what I’ve got in mind is evident enough.”
“Maybe you’ll take this so far and change your mind.”
Chloe felt the tension in his body loosen as he moved against her. “I won’t change my mind.”
“It’s what you want?”
“Kiss me and find out.” She wouldn’t stop this sudden rush of confidence, didn’t want to, in fact; nor would she question the wisdom of her actions. Nathan sparked feelings in her that no woman should bury or deny herself. Even if her happiness was fleeting, she would have this time with him. She was going into this with her eyes wide open. Life wouldn’t get the chance to snatch something precious away from her when she least expected it, because this time she was prepared for the loss. For this night he would be hers, and she would be his. Just for this night.
His arms came around her with a solid grip. Then his mouth found hers. Plundered. Devoured. Chloe clung on. This was exactly what she wanted. Exactly what she needed.
This time neither held back, perfectly matched in need and desire. It was like being in the centre of a storm, Chloe thought while she still could. Swept away but at the same time safe and sheltered in the very centre of its rage.
She gripped, pulling him closer until her body was plastered against his. His arms were so tight around her the only breath she could manage came in sharp, tight little pockets.
It felt like something had been released inside her. Something primitive and shocking. She felt like a siren who made her home out there on the rocks. Where had all this passion been hiding, all this heat and craving? God. She’d never known she had it in her, but she would have it tonight. With this man. This man who made her head spin and her heart tremble.
Hold something back, some protective part of her cautioned. Give him much, but not everything. There had to be something left to keep her sane when all this was over. When he left. A skittering of panic fled down her spine only to disappear as Nathan trailed his fingers down it, caught her buttocks and squeezed.
She pulled in some air. “Nathan?”
“Hmm?” His mouth raced over her throat.
“I’m not going to change my mind, but…” She almost forgot what she wanted to say as his teeth caught her earlobe and bit in. All she could do was drop her head to the side on a little moan, and give him more room to work.
“But?” he prompted, nibbling her ear.
“It’s just that… Can you stop doing that a minute?” All the muscles in her stomach were tight and there was this throbbing between her legs, not to mention the heat pumping through her system. “I just want to explain something.” This was moving so fast, she just needed to prepare him, make him realise she wasn’t as experienced as the women he normally took to his bed.
He slid his arms to her shoulders, eased back a tad. “You’ve picked a weird time for a conversation.”
She took a breath. “I just thought you ought to know that, well, I’m not sure what you expect, but I’m not… I haven’t…”
“You haven’t?” Now she did see panic in his eyes. “
You mean you’re—”
“No. Of course not.” Though why she felt she had to apologise for that, she didn’t know. Probably because he looked so horrified. “I just don’t make a habit of this. I’m not exactly what you’d call experienced.”
He pulled her close, understanding and relief evident from the deep exhalation he gave. “Then we’ll just take it slowly, although how in hell I’m supposed to manage that now thay I’ve got you in my arms, God alone knows.” He plundered her mouth again, then rasped, “Chloe, you fire me up to blazing.”
“I don’t want you to make any allowances or anything. I just thought… I didn’t want you to expect… I’m probably not like any of the other women you—”
Nathan gripped her bottom and lifted her into his arms. She could only cling on, her arms around his neck, legs around his waist. “This particular conversation is over.” He almost growled it, then said nothing as he carried her upstairs.
His bedroom was a typical man’s room, with dark utility colours and a minimum of possessions scattered around. Between kisses, Chloe tried to register her surroundings. A big mahogany wardrobe, a black sweater strewn over the back of a chair, an opened book, spine up, on the bedside table. Her foggy mental listing ended abruptly as Nathan lowered her beside the huge bed with its duvet the colour of ripe plums.
Nerves and desire formed a lethal combination, but desire took over as he eased her back into him. “I want you, Chloe, but you need to be sure.”
She pressed a finger to his lips. “I am. I want you. I’m a little nervous, probably because… Well, you know, but I am sure.”
To prove it, she instigated their kiss.
Air brushed over her skin as Nathan slipped the wrap from her shoulders. His hand found her breast, and even beneath the barrier of sheer silk, Chloe felt the warmth of his palm, the touch of his fingers, the brush of his thumb over the sensitive nipple. She arched against him, offering murmurs of encouragement.
She might have protested when his hand left her breast, but he was slipping the straps from her shoulders, easing the zip of her dress. In turn, she fumbled with the top buttons of his dress shirt, trying not to gasp at the sight of his solid, muscular chest and the smattering of dark hair arrowing down his torso.
The dress slid down easily over her braless body, over her slim hips, resting in delicate folds around her heeled shoes. She would have stepped out but Nathan held her firm, his fingers gripping her arms as he leaned back a little.
“Stay like that for a moment, let me look at you.” His gaze slid down, pausing at her breasts, her stomach, her thighs, then did the same on the journey back to her face.
A flush of embarrassment sprinkled over her and she dropped her gaze to his chest, reaching out to release the remaining buttons. If she was almost naked, it was only fair he should be too. She wanted the feel of his hot, tight skin against hers.
His fingers gripped her wrists and curled around them. “Not yet. My turn first. I want you more relaxed, less nervous.”
Less nervous? Was he kidding? She’d never been more nervous in her life. Bad enough she stood half-naked with a gorgeous man devouring her as if he intended to gobble her up at any minute, but what if he expected her to be like his other lovers? She wasn’t particularly adventurous, or least she hadn’t been that first time. That disastrous first time when she’d lost her virginity to a man just because he was leaving town the following week and she’d never have to see him again. Never get involved, never have to care. Not that she ever would have, not with him. But with Nathan?
Her feet left the floor, and the cool slide of cotton at her back as Nathan lowered her onto the bed sent a shiver of sensation over her heated flesh. He leaned over her, dark and dangerously gorgeous, the unfastened strips of his tie brushing against her naked breasts.
He cupped her chin, dropped his lips to hers, led her in an erotic dance of mouths, tongues, touches. She melted against him, felt responses she never realised she was capable of. Shivers here, tremors there.
His fingers ran down her throat, across her shoulders, down the inside of her arms, barely touching her breast. When they danced across her abdomen, she arched, her tummy muscles tightening against the sharp, heavy pull between her legs.
“You still look like chocolate,” Nathan murmured as his fingers danced over the lace edge of her ecru panties, his gaze travelling down to take in the garter belt and sheer stockings. “White chocolate this time, but no less appetising.” His gaze travelled up, locked with hers. “I’ve got this need to feed my new addiction.”
Her whole body felt like an electrical charge as secret places throbbed and trembled. “Will you let me take your shirt off now?” Her voice sounded wispy as she tugged one end of his tie and pulled it away. His fingers found her breast and she gasped. Oh God, it felt wonderful, and she let her lids flutter down. Those long, steady fingers floated over sensitised flesh, and Chloe bit her lip and tried not to moan. But as hard as she bit, she had no defense when Nathan rubbed one hardened nipple between his finger and thumb. Her eyes shot open as her whole body went tight.
They shared one long look full of mutual need and desire. A kind of surrender. In that instant, Chloe knew that any defense against her feelings for Nathan Fitzgerald was a fool’s ploy. She had feelings for him, deep feelings. He could do anything to her now and she doubted she’d put up one iota of a fight.
When he bent, took her nipple into his mouth and sucked, she almost shot off the bed
She was desperate now. Desperate for his flesh against hers and, damn him, she wanted his shirt off. Her fingers no longer trembled but were firm and demanding as they reached for the fine cotton and all but yanked it from his shoulders. He shifted and with Chloe’s impatient assistance, shrugged out of the shirt. The steady control she sensed he’d tried to retain seemed to snap as their flesh melded and rubbed. He wrapped her in his arms and subjected her to a hard, tortured kiss bearing no remnants of that control.
Now that she had the feel of his flesh, hot and damp and firm, she intended to explore every inch of it. She felt the hard curves and sinews of his back, his arms, those broad shoulders, and let her hands fly.
Oh, she would have one night of this. With him. No matter how much she had to feel again. How much she would lose. No matter what his eventual leaving would cost her. She would have the taste of him, the feel of him. Over her. Around her. Inside her.
The thought of it sent something skittering down her spine again, only this time it wasn’t panic. It was anticipation.
He stroked her abdomen, let his fingers nudge the edges of her panties. Her muscles jumped as he slid his hand beneath lace. He turned his face to hers, their gazes locked, and he slipped a finger inside her. Slow and deep. He watched her as he set up a steady rhythm of torture.
The feeling building inside her was reaching fever point and Chloe was dangerously close to writhing. She licked her lips, a signal for Nathan to drop a kiss there.
“Nathan.” She tried hard to keep her eyes open and fixed on his, thrilled by the desire she saw burning in his gaze. For her.
“Tell me what you want, Chloe.” He whispered it, dropped another kiss to her lips. Before she could answer, tell him that whatever he wanted to do was all right with her, Nathan tugged at the delicate lace. “I need this off. I want to look at you.”
He slipped her panties down her legs, tossed them onto the floor. Then he stood, watching her as he unzipped his trousers and stepped out.
Chloe couldn’t stop looking at him. All lean muscle and sculpted curves. He was a big man, in every respect, and she tried not to think how she could come close to accommodating him. The first and only time she’d had sex, it had been painful, and if her memory served, her partner then hadn’t been anywhere near as well-endowed as Nathan.
Her muscles tightened as Nathan lowered himself next to her.
“What?” Nathan ran a hand across her waist, skimming the edge of her garter belt.
“Nothing. I�
��m just still a bit nervous.”
“Then let’s get you relaxed.” His hand moved down, stroking over her abdomen as he drugged her with long, slow kisses.
Chloe tried to heel off her stilettos, but he caught her legs. “Don’t. Not yet. That’s really sexy.” His hot gaze skimmed her garter belt and stockings in confirmation.
“You really are turned on by stockings.” The worst of her nerves evaporated and she gave him what she hoped was a sexy pout. She felt so turned on it was unbelievable. How could she act this way when she’d promised to hold something back? To recognize this night for what it was. Temporary mutual pleasure. Until he left.
“I’m turned on by you,” Nathan groaned. “I’m on fire.”
She let her legs fall open to cradle him as he moved between them. A little clutch of nerves came and went as the long length of him brushed against her heat.
She felt him tense in response and slid her hands around to skim the tight shoulder blades, the hot, slick flesh of his back. “Don’t stop,” she whispered against his mouth as she coaxed him down to her. “I want you.”
His slide into her was slow, and in some part of her brain, Chloe knew it cost him. But oh, heavens, it was exquisite, and when he was inside her, fully inside her, Chloe arched, moulding herself to him as she savoured each thrust. Soon they sank into an easy rhythm. The heat of his mouth sampling her exposed throat increased the pleasure, and Chloe moaned when he cupped a hand over her knee and, easing it higher, sank deeper.
Pleasure intensified with each powerful thrust, faster now, harder, until Chloe was on the shimmering edge. She said his name, twice. Heard her own returned to her, whispered, but with that same ragged need. Nathan waited, pushing her on and over, and then as she shattered, followed her into the abyss.
Chapter Seven
Nathan’s head lay on her chest, his breathing even now. Alongside the struggle to get her own breathing under control came the realisation that she was in deep. She’d fallen for him…hook, line and sinker. There would be no easy parting from Nathan Fitzgerald, and as much as she’d tried to hold something back, tried not to give him everything, she had. He had demanded it, had brought her to a merciless, shuddering brink of pleasure, then gone right on and tipped her over. No mercy.
