"Throwback." I said, thumbing through what he had.
"Best way to do it." he replied.
"True. So who is this Demon Hunter?" I asked, staring at a CD.
"You're kidding me, right? Put it in."
I cocked an eyebrow at him.
"Just do it! Please?" he asked, smiling.
I laughed and gently slid the CD out of the sleeve and into the CD player.
He cranked the music once more as he flew down the road.
I was really into the band, so when he turned it down I looked at him, my mouth open and my eyes huge.
"They are amazin'!"
He laughed. "Yes! So, favorite bands?"
I shrugged, "Every band I listen to is my favorite, I cain't just pick one. But I listen to everything from Country to Rock. I don't really like Rap, though. The crap talkin' about bitches and stuff. Now old school hip hop? Tupac? Love that stuff."
"So wide variety. Like that. Name some bands, though."
"Sugarcult, Blue Oyster Cult, Blink-182, Sum 41, Demon Hunter--"
I trailed off.
He laughed, "It doesn't work like that. You just heard Demon Hunter."
"I don't care. Jack Off Jill, I could keep goin'."
"I got a general idea. Favorite color."
"Hot pink and black. Yours?" I asked, wondering where this was going.
"Black and red. Favorite season."
"Fall. Yours? Where's this goin' by the way?" I asked, turning in my seat so that I could watch him.
"General conversation. I want to know you better. Mine would be Summer or Winter. Favorite food?"
"Anything. This is more than general conversation."
"No, it's not. It's called knowing someone. I want to know you, and if you never give me your number I'll never hear from you again." he said, putting his truck in park. That's when I noticed we had made it to his house in record time.
"Well here's an idea. Give me your number and I'll text you." I said, but part of me regretted it.
"Phone?" he asked, holding his hand out.
I handed him the phone that Mike had given me and he quickly typed in his number. "There. Now I expect a text."
I laughed and mock saluted him. "Yes sir!"
"That's right, respect your elders." He winked at me and hopped out of the truck, grabbing the movies and bag.
We were sitting on his couch, the movie that we had picked out playing. He had a bottle of water and I had a tea. I pulled my phone from my pocket and quickly sent him a text: "Now you have my number." I hit send and within a few seconds, his phone was ringing. He looked at it and smiled.
"Good. You've got to promise me you'll send me your new number asap."
I laughed. "Fine, fine."
"Yay. Now watch the movie."
"Whatever," I mumbled.
"What was that?"
I laughed, "I said. Whatever." I replied slowly.
"Do I sense an attitude?" he asked, playfully.
"None at all," I replied, throwing a piece of popcorn at him.
He grabbed it off of his shirt and popped it into his mouth. "Good."
"I have a few questions of my own after this movie."
He paused it, "I'm not diggin' it so ask away."
I laughed. "I wasn't either. So why ain't ya found anybody else?"
He shrugged. "You want a beer?"
"Please."
He disappeared for a few minutes and came back with beers. He sat down and stared at his bottle for a little while. "I haven't looked. I'm like you. I don't want some one-night stand here and there. I want my next relationship to be my last one. I mean, I'm not getting any younger, but it's hard to find somebody I can trust."
I nodded. "At least we have that in common."
"So far we have a lot in common. It's a little scary."
"True. So no kids or nothin'?" I asked.
He shook his head, "Nope. If and when the time's right, maybe." I took a sip of my beer, trying to figure out if I should ask him anything else. "Hey, what's going through your head? Talk to me."
I looked up quickly. "Absolutely nothin'. I was tryin' to find another question to ask."
He laughed, "Oh. I've got to say I find your accent sexy."
I blushed, "Thanks." I whispered.
"So, any other movies you want to watch?"
I shook my head. "No. I kind of like sitting here, the moments of silence are peaceful, but the conversation is amazin'. I think you know more about me than most guys find out after three months."
He chuckled, "Makes me feel special."
"Good. I like makin' people feel special."
"How is it, you've been through so much, but you seem to still be able to look past all that and worry about other's?"
I took another sip of my beer, mulling it over. "I don't know. I guess I know that there are people who have gone through much worse than me. There's no point in pityin' yourself or feelin' bad. There are people out there that have absolutely nothin'. Okay, I don't have my parents. My brother doesn't talk to me often, and my boyfriend cheated on me. I still have a house, I still have a job. I have people that care about me. Hell my day's seem long and my nights seem much longer, but I try to remind myself on a daily basis; it could be worse."
"You're amazing. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't. You hear me? That is the smartest, most level-headed thing I've ever heard come out of a female's mouth. And most of them aren't as young as you. I know we've known each other for a short while, but I hope I never lose you as a friend." he said, holding his bottle to mine.
"Thank you, seriously. I hope I never lose you as a friend either. I've been more open and honest with you than most men I've met in the bars. I'm not always this level-headed, though. Sometimes I can cry for what appears to be no reason at all, but really there are a million reasons. Sometimes it rolls in like clouds and they don't leave for days. It's cripplin', but I continue with my day like nothin' is botherin' me. Sometimes I'm more short tempered than normal. Sometimes I push people away and just sit in the dark--"
He stopped me, "Point out the good things about yourself. You've spent so much time downing yourself that I'm beginning to wonder if you know anything good about yourself."
"I cain't point anything out, all I've ever heard were the bad things. Lance was great, but he didn't know how to compliment me. Of course, he knew how to win me, and he knew how to win all those other girls, but he didn't know how to keep any of us."
"Well, I'm going to point out a few things. You're beautiful. You have a kind heart. You have a gentle soul." I blushed, looking down into my beer. "No, look at me. I'm not just saying those things. Anyone who knows you has to know these things. The storm gets bad, but I hope you find someone that will weather it with you. All of us deserve that at least."
I nodded. "I hope you find someone as well. No one deserves to be alone."
"I chose it. I could have a girlfriend, but I don't want any of these superficial, playboy bunny rejects. I want a girl who has brains, who has guts. I want someone who knows what it's like to love and be loved."
I giggled. "Superficial, playboy rejects."
"I'm glad that made you laugh." he said, a smile on his face, but his eyes staring into my soul.
"It's been nice to laugh again."
"I love to make people laugh, and not to brag, but I'm pretty good at it." He took my empty beer bottle and returned with fresh ones.
"I don't think you're braggin', I think you know the good qualities about yourself," I said, taking a beer from him.
"It took time to learn. Just like you I was broken for a while, but after a while the pieces will begin to go back together, and you'll almost forget what it was like to be so broken."
"I hope so," I said "I want to be happy again. I want to feel whole again. Even though I'm not sure I ever really felt that way."
"You did, and you will. There's been a lot of heartache and tragedy in your life. But one day you'll wake up and see the sun w
here there was once clouds. I promise. I don't know when, or how, but it'll happen. Just give it time."
"Well, patience is not one of my virtues," I replied.
He laughed, "Mine either, but it'll happen."
I woke up the next morning, curled the pillow into my arms and snuggled deeper into the blankets. I looked at my phone and had a text.
"Wake up sleepy head. I thought we could go to breakfast. At least make it a little more believable ;)"
I giggled and hit reply. "Fine, fine. Give me a few minutes. I'm awake I just don't want to leave this comfy bed."
"When's the last time you had breakfast in bed?"
I cocked one eyebrow. "Uh...never. I'm getting up."
"Stay there. I want you to experience breakfast in bed."
My breath caught in my throat. "I'm already up. Sorry."
"Don't be afraid. Just a friend wanting you to break those chains."
I smiled weakly. I was beginning to think that those lines were becoming blurry between leading Ashley and Mike along, and actually trying to be a couple. I shook my head, went into the bathroom and freshened up.
I stepped into the living room and saw Josh sitting there on the couch, scrolling on his phone. "What's up buttercup?" he asked, without looking at me.
"Nothin' new honeydew."
He laughed, "Ah, the first girl that knew what to say back."
"Seriously?" I asked as I sat down next to him.
He put his phone in his pocket. "Seriously. So breakfast and back to Mike and Ashley's?"
"Well, I thought if you didn't have any plans, you could show me some of your favorite places."
He looked at me, "Oh yeah? Alright. Breakfast and sight seeing. Sounds like a good Sunday."
"I hope so," I replied, smiling at him.
After breakfast, he took me out sight-seeing and I had to admit, some of the places were breathtaking. By the time we made it back into Los Angeles, it was after lunch.
"You hungry?" he asked.
"I'm always hungry. Take me somewhere and it'll be on me since breakfast was on you this mornin'." I smiled, turning the radio up as he continued to drive.
"You know, am I the only one beginning to think those lines are becoming a little blurred?"
My smile slowly faded, "No. I was startin' to think the same thing."
He nodded, "But hey, you know what? I'd much rather those lines become blurred with you. You're a great person."
I blushed, "I'm just myself."
"That's exactly why you're great. You're being yourself."
"Well thank you. Shouldn't we just stick to bein' friends though?" I asked, trying to steer this conversation away from where I feared it was going.
"Who says we aren't? It was just a question."
I nodded furiously. "I know."
Chapter 7
The rest of my time spent in California was fun. I stayed at Mike and Ashley's during the day while they were at work. I'd swim in their pool and just hang out in the beautiful sunshine. I split my nights between them and hanging out with Josh. After our talk about blurred lines, we'd kept it light and friendly. It still didn't make it easy leaving today. As bad as I missed Nashville, part of me wanted to stay another two weeks. Ashley, Mike, and Josh had told me they wanted to take me to breakfast before I caught my flight back to Nashville, and obviously, I had agreed.
We had just finished eating when Ashley looked at me. "I know you said leave it alone, but I'm not. You two are adorable together, I've noticed the looks and how much time y'all spend together. I just wanna know what exactly's goin' on."
I sighed, but before I could say anything Josh stopped me. "We're friends. I'm not saying that's all we'll ever be, but for now, that's it. You two started out as friends right? You know what that's like. The difference between you two and us is that there was no heartbreak and betrayal before you two found each other. Mike, you hadn't had a girlfriend, a serious girlfriend in what? Six months? And Ashley, you had been living here for a year, and you had left your boyfriend behind. I was cheated on, Jo was cheated on. We're taking it slow. I understand you two are head over heels in love, you're engaged, and you want us to be happy. Have you thought that maybe we are happy in our own way?"
My mind was still stuck on the part where he had said 'I'm not saying that's all we'll ever be.', my consciousness was caught up in the conversation, though. When I looked up all eyes were on me and I couldn't help but blush.
"What?" I asked.
"You okay?" Josh asked.
I nodded. "I'm fine. Sorry."
"No, you're not." Mike said and I hated that even he had caught on.
"Did I say something wrong?" Josh asked, looking more closely at me.
"No, no. Not at all. I was just thinkin'. I'll talk to you about it later." I said, forcing a smile that wouldn't give me away.
"You got her when you said, 'I'm not sayin' that's all we'll ever be'. She heard that, and it stuck out." Ashley said.
My chest was tightening when Josh looked back at me once again. "Is that true?" I shrugged. "Talk to me," he whispered, and I couldn't help but look up at him. In those hazel eyes of his, I found myself falling, but I couldn't let him know that.
"Later," I whispered in return, just as the waitress walked up, interrupting our conversation. In that moment, I silently thanked God for saving me from this uncomfortable situation.
It hadn't lasted long of course because now Josh and I were sitting in his truck watching the waves roll in. "Look. We've sat in silence long enough, should I not have said that earlier?"
I tried silently calming my nerves, but it didn't work. "You said nothin' wrong. It just kind of caught me by surprise."
"Well, I'm gonna tell you something else. You've begun to chip at the walls I've had up for a long time. No one else has ever been able to do that. I'm beginning to like you more and more. I still just want to take it slow, though. Friends first, then, if and when the time comes we can be more."
I looked at him quickly. "Why is it so easy for you to voice how ya feel?"
He laughed. "It's not."
"I have a feelin' I'm gonna regret this--"
He stopped me. "Don't ever regret anything other than the words left unspoken."
I smiled shyly. "Fine. I've started to like you. Today when I looked at you in the restaurant I caught myself fallin'. I don't want to, not yet. Not for a while. I just want a friend, but I just want you to know that I'm open to more when the time is right."
"So we're on the same page? Well how about we talk as much as we can and see where this goes? Obviously, I'm not going to be dating anyone. But I want you to date--"
It was my turn to stop him. "I'm not datin' nobody. I don't want to. Not because I'm holdin' on to hope that we'll be together, but because I don't want to date. Not yet."
"So we're in agreement on being friends and seeing where this goes?" he asked, watching me carefully.
I met his gaze, "Yes." I whispered.
"You don't sound too sure about that."
"It's a scary thing. The unknown. The slight knowledge of feelin's for someone. I'm sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry for. It is scary."
Once we were back at Mike and Ashley's house the question came up. "So who's takin' you to the airport?" she asked.
"How 'bout all y'all?" I asked, winking at her.
She laughed. "People pleaser."
"Friend pleaser. Only for y'all."
Josh smiled, "Well how about we take my truck?"
My smile widened. "Sounds good to me."
"Hold on, y'all didn't do nothin' did ya?" Ashley asked.
I laughed. "No! Glad to hear your southern twang again."
"I think you bring it out."
I smiled. "Maybe."
"Hate to break this up, but doesn't your flight leave in about an hour? If you're gonna make it we better leave now." Mike said.
I nodded and went to reach for my suitcase, but Josh was already there. I smiled up at
him. "Thank you."
He returned the smile. "You're welcome."
We were sitting there waiting for my flight to be called, Mike and Ashley had gone to get coffee.
Josh looked at me. "I want you to call me when you land. I want you to call or text me anytime."
I smiled. "I'll get annoyin'."
"Never," he whispered, and I could hear something in his voice.
"We'll see how ya feel after a few days." I replied, winking at him.
"Deal. When do you go back to work?"
"Monday. I'm pretty excited. I have a feelin' I'm gonna be really, really busy, though. Bein' gone for two weeks? I'm gonna have to do some catch-up work."
"You're ready, though. Right?" he asked smiling.
I nodded. "Yes!" I exclaimed.
Just then my flight was called. Ashley and Mike came walking up. They both gave me a hug and made me promise to call them as soon as I had landed. I had obliged but knew I'd be calling Josh first.
I landed at 6:30 P.M my time and couldn't wait to get home. I got a cab, and on the ride home, I quickly dialed Josh. It rang several times before he answered.
"How was your flight beautiful?"
I automatically blushed, "Fine, but you gotta stop doin' that. You got me blushin' like an idiot."
I could hear the smile in his voice. "I bet you look amazing in red."
"Shhh," I replied.
He chuckled. "So the flight was good?"
"Yeah, it was alright. Got stuck next to some guy who felt the need to snore the entire time."
"Awe, but it was only a four and a half hour flight. Who's that tired?"
"This guy. Looked pretty rough too. I'd say late Saturday night, early Sunday mornin'. Doubt he learned his lesson, though."
Josh laughed. "You."
I smiled. "Me."
"So you headed home?" he asked.
"I am. Ready for my bed."
"Mine wasn't good enough?" he asked, sounding as if though he were pouting.
I laughed, "It was great. Didn't want to leave, but I just love my bed."
"Understandable. People would think the worst if they would have just heard that exchange."
California Sunshine Page 4
