“Listen to me. I do not and never have disliked you or hated you,” he said looking seriously into my eyes.
“Ok. I believe you,” I whispered back holding his gaze.
Cervantes whinnied and I looked over at him. He was sticking his head over the stall door and watching me, wanting his treat no doubt. I walked inside the barn, leaving Jordan at the door. I could hear him following me. I couldn’t help looking around to make sure no one was lurking in the darkened corners of the barn, but otherwise I ignored the feelings that the barn triggered. I did not want to relive the last time I was here. I walked over to Cervantes and rubbed his muzzle.
“Demanding this morning aren’t you,” I crooned to the horse. He snorted and began nudging me.
“You don’t really believe me, do you?” Jordan asked.
I turned to face him again, “Yes, I do believe you, Jordan. Daisy told me that you didn’t dislike me you were just concerned with hurting me.”
“You discussed me with Daisy?” he seemed pleased by this. He had a cautious smile on his face, but it was a smile.
“Well, I wouldn’t say discussed. It was just a question,” I busied myself rubbing Cervantes’ head and neck, avoiding Jordan’s eyes.
“What else did Daisy say?”
“Nothing? When I asked her to explain she said I would have to ask you to explain it.” Now, I did look at him. And, I thought a surprised and then wary expression came over his face.
“Well?”
“Well, she’s right as usual,” he mumbled. “You know I’m not a healer like she and Grace are.”
“Yes.”
“I’m a drainer, Lela, like the man who attacked you.” His voice was even, but there was a stiffness about him that betrayed he wasn’t as relaxed as he seemed.
“You are nothing like that man, Jordan,” I stated firmly. “I don’t believe you would ever attack me or anyone. That makes no sense. Are you trying to tell me all drainers have homicidal or, uh, other criminal tendencies? I don’t believe that.”
“No, I’m not saying that. And, I appreciate your belief in me,” He smiled ruefully.
“Then, what does your being a drainer have to do with it?” I petted Cervantes some more but continued to look directly at Jordan. It was tricky keeping my attention on both of the males demanding it at the moment, but I managed. Jordan was looking decidedly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat.
“I kissed you this morning because I am attracted to you, Lela.”
Now it was my turn to look uncomfortable. I could feel my face flush, but I did not turn away. I continued to hold his gaze and nodded. “I kind of figured that out this morning.”
“I’ve never,” he paused as if choosing his words carefully, “kissed a human who was not either a healer or a drainer like myself.”
I guess that wasn’t surprising, but I couldn’t figure out where he was going with this.
“I’ve never actually been attracted to anyone that was, well, not one of my kind or a healer, probably because I’ve never really spent time with regular people,” he said going on a tangent. When I said nothing, just waited, he continued, “You see, Lela, as you know we need the life force of other living things in order to survive.”
“But, I thought you told me you don’t go around hurting or killing people?” I said evenly. I was surprisingly unafraid.
“I don’t. I don’t put myself around normal people to even be tempted,” he explained seeming agitated now. “But, from all that I have heard, the majority of actual people that drainers kill are killed during intimate encounters. From what I’ve been told, the life force of a regular human is very appealing to us. And, once touched, we begin to crave it.”
“You’re saying it’s like a drug? You become addicted?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then, what? I want to understand. You’re saying you form some sort of attraction to a life force, or whatever, which could turn you unwillingly into a killer?”
“Possibly. But, that’s not exactly the way I’ve heard it described. And, I’ve never even felt a regular human life force so, I’ve no idea how I would react.”
“Tell me what you heard then, Jordan,” I gritted my teeth. It seemed that he was trying purposely to be vague and confusing.
“I’ve been told that it is more like the most intense of orgasms.”
That ungritted my teeth. My mouth fell open and I promptly closed it. He went on.
“I’ve heard that the pleasure is so intense, especially during intimate situations, that one wouldn’t have any desire not to drain the life force of the other. So, whether or not doing it is possible under such circumstances, I’ve never met anyone who tried not to. Those of us who don’t go around killing people just don’t ever put ourselves in the position to find out.”
“But – but, Logan and Grace…,” I sputtered.
“Grace is a healer. Healers can protect themselves from drainers. Though, we weren’t sure if they could without their guard being up until, well, Grace and Logan are the only drainer healer couple we know of.”
“But, you didn’t try…, I mean, nothing happened when you kissed me?”
“No, it didn’t. Though, I wasn’t sure if it was something that would just happen without my trying or not. I wasn’t thinking when I did that. I just wanted to kiss you. I acted impulsively,” he said stepping closer to me, “It’s nice to know I can kiss you without hurting you.”
“Hm,” was all I could say.
He sighed, “I guess we should clear the air and talk about that too. As I said, I hadn’t planned to kiss you. I did it before I knew it. Did I frighten you?”
“No.”
“Did I make a mistake in doing so?”
“No. It’s alright…, the kiss I mean.”
“Just alright?”
“I mean no harm done, though we probably shouldn’t do it again.” My voice was sounding like a dry croak. He was too close to me now and I could smell his body wash. It was the same one I used when I used his shower the day before.
“I agree. Only, I’m not sure if I can stop myself from doing it again.” His voice had taken on a low, husky timbre.
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” I blurted out quickly, my voice now having a breathless quality. I darted a look around as if to find a way of escape. He put a finger gently under my chin and tilted my face to meet his.
“I’m not sure I’m ready for it either,” he whispered across my lips just before his mouth covered mine for the second time this morning. I did not resist. In fact, against my better judgment, I didn’t hesitate to participate despite the warning bells going off in my head. He put his arms around me this time and pulled me closer, gently but deftly, deepening the kiss. He explored and teased and I could hear the harshness of my own breathing. Unable to pull away, I came to an agreement with myself that this would be the last one. No sense in interrupting something so toe curlingly delicious. His mouth was so warm and gentle, yet urgent on mine. Yes, there would be time afterwards to reset the ground rules and clearly mark the boundaries. With that last thought in mind I gave in to the intensely intoxicating experience of Jordan’s kiss.
Feeling me completely yield in his arms, he backed me against a stall door and pulled me even closer with one arm around my waist and a hand at the back of my neck. I was willingly drowning in the dizzying kiss. I could not have resisted the power of his draw if I’d wanted to.
I might not care now, but if I didn’t stop this my self-control would desert me, and I would be a slave to his pull.
Chapter 21
A muffled moan reached my ears. Had it come from me?
Suddenly Jordan was ripped away from me. I stood blinking in surprise trying to figure out what had happened. I thought he’d leapt away from me realizing the danger of this all-consuming kiss. Perhaps he too sensed that this was not an attraction that would easily be broken if we did not pull away from it now. Then something crashed into the opposite stall door an
d a form materialized in front of me.
It was Jordan who had crashed into the stall door opposite me. The door had splintered on impact and he crashed to the ground. Just as quickly he was now standing and snarling in a fighting stance. Ethan had materialized in front of me. He too was crouching but in a defensive stance, as if protecting me.
“Are you ok?” Ethan asked gruffly over his shoulder at me, not daring to take his eyes off of Jordan. Jordan stood erect now, no longer ready to attack, but his eyes blazed with fury.
“I’m fine, Ethan, really,” I yelped, huddling against Cervantes door. I could hear him pawing the ground in response to the disturbing energy filling the room. I realized that Ethan thought that Jordan might have succumbed to the desire of my life force or something. “He wasn’t hurting me Ethan. I’m perfectly fine.”
“Of course I wasn’t hurting her!” Jordan roared.
After a tense moment Ethan straightened, turned so that he could see us both and then looked back and forth from Jordan to me. The confusion in his face cleared followed by understanding.
“Oh,” came his soft reply and Jordan stormed out of the barn. Ethan watched him go and then turned to me. His face took on an apologetic expression, “I’m sorry. I thought – ”
“I know what you thought,” I cut him off feeling awkward.
“Hey,” he frowned, “Stay out of my head.”
“I wasn’t in your head,” I hissed in near hysterics and embarrassment. I felt like I’d had too much caffeine after that kiss. This jittery feeling mixed with embarrassment had me practically twitching. I took a deep breath and then continued, “I didn’t need to try and read your feelings or thoughts to know what you were thinking. Jordan knows too.”
“You don’t feel any light headedness, pain or fatigue?”
“No Ethan. He wasn’t hurting me or trying to touch my life force or whatever,” I said, feeling myself flush all over now in mortification.
“Hm…, well damn.”
“What are you damning about?”
“I didn’t think he would act, he was so afraid of hurting you.”
“He told you, he...was… wanted – What did he tell you?”
“He didn’t. I told him. But, he wouldn’t admit it. I told him if he waited any longer to act then I would.” He grinned at my look of surprise, “Don’t look so surprised. You have to know how sexy you are. And, I know firsthand how men fall all over themselves trying to get your attention.”
“No they do not,” I protested.
“Yes they do. I watch them every time I’m out anywhere with you,” he shot back with a sly grin. Then he cocked his head to the side, “I thought you were just ignoring them out of courtesy for me. But, with that blush and look on your face, I’m starting to think you really don’t notice.”
“Ethan, stop. I can’t take your teasing right now.”
“I’m not teasing, sweetheart,” he shook his head earnestly. Then he sighed, “I guess I better go make nice with Jordan then. He’s probably really pissed right now.”
He stuck his head out of the barn and looked around. Then he stepped out waving his arms, “Daisy!”
Daisy appeared moments later sounding concerned, “I thought I heard a big crash coming from here. Is everything ok?”
“Fine. I just pissed Jordan off. Do you mind staying with Lela so I can go make nice with Jordan?”
“Sh-sure,” she said perplexed.
With that, Ethan took off after Jordan without another word, leaving me to explain to Daisy what had happened. After I explained, Daisy was laughing and I was blushing. I sure hope this wasn’t going to become a habit. I usually wasn’t prone to blushing. Then again, I usually wasn’t involved in such public displays of affection.
“It’s not funny, Daisy,” I said giving her a mild shove when she wouldn’t stop laughing.
“I know,” she snorted trying to contain her amusement, “I wasn’t laughing about what happened, just the way you told it. You should see your face.”
I saw her holding back a chuckle and turned and walked away.
“Ok, Ok,” she followed behind me and then gently grabbed my arm to stop me, “I’m sorry.”
I just looked at her and watched her face twitch as she tried not to laugh. I was mortified.
“I really am sorry for laughing. Clearly, this is upsetting to you,” She said still smiling but her face had taken on an empathetic expression.
“Yes it is,” I hissed through clenched teeth. She looked puzzled.
“Why? I mean is it just because people keep walking in on you two or is there something more?” She wasn’t smiling now.
“Yes, there’s more,” I replied but then thought better of saying more. How could I talk to her about this? Jordan was part of her family. But, couldn’t she see the problem with this? “Are you telling me you don’t see any problems with this – Jordan and I?”
“Well, that depends,” She said, cautious now, “What exactly do you see as the problem?”
“Isn’t it obvious? He could kill me in a matter of seconds and I have no chance of defending myself.”
Her eyes went wide with surprise, “Jordan would never hurt you.”
“You even said so yourself,” I retorted.
“No, I said he was afraid of hurting you.”
“Then why did you ask me if I was feeling weak or pain or whatever this morning when he kissed me?”
“Because, he’d already put my theory to the test by kissing you. And, just as I told him he wouldn’t hurt you under any circumstances, he didn’t.”
“He told me himself that he was concerned with hurting me, Daisy.”
She sighed losing her defensiveness, “Yes, he has been concerned with that. And, we have all told him that he wouldn’t hurt you or anyone else.”
“What do you mean? You’ve all discussed it? Discussed us?” I squeaked, my agitation rising. Had he been discussing me with them?
“He was concerned in the beginning with being assigned to protect you,” she hurried on to reassure me, “That’s all I’ve ever discussed with him, protecting you. He never works very close with regular humans, though he has protected them before. We didn’t know why he was so objectionable to protecting you at first.”
“What about if he was mad and lost his temper.”
“Jordan is not an abuser. He would never strike a woman. Well, at least not a regular mortal one that wasn’t trying to kill him,” she amended.
“How do you know if he would hurt me if he doesn’t even know himself?” I shot back.
“Because I know. Jordan has only seen the results of the interactions between drainers who have no care at all for the people they come in contact with and the result of their carnage. Those people seek out people to drain. He is nothing like them.”
I busied myself pulling down tack for Cervantes, avoiding her assessing gaze. She continued, “So, is that your only objection to whatever is going on between you and Jordan?”
“No, it’s not,” was my clipped reply. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. I needed to think.
To my surprise she didn’t say anything else. I’d half expected her to ask for further explanation. I was relieved that she seemed to understand that, whatever my objections were, I should be discussing them with Jordan. Or, maybe she just felt like she’d pushed me far enough. Whatever her reason, she seemed to know to back off.
I worked the rest of the day with Daisy. We made our rounds checking on all the animals. I spent some time with the puppies that one of the dogs had delivered about four weeks ago. They were moving around and awkwardly attacking each other in play. They nuzzled into my neck, when I picked them up and placed them on my shoulder, and made little yelping sounds.
By the end of the day, I was dirty, tired and smelled like most of the animals on the farm. Daisy decided that we should quit a little early so we would both have time to clean up in time for me to get home to greet my brother. Because my brother couldn’t know
what was going on, Daisy filled me in on our cover story.
She was coming home with me to hang out. Apparently, Jordan and Ethan had made sure that my brother got from the airport to our house safely, without Blake finding out of course. Ethan would then swing by to pick up Daisy later that evening since she’d come home with me. No one asked me for my input. But, it sounded like a decent enough plan so I didn’t object. Now I knew why Daisy had driven my car today. It would have been strange for me to be gone with my car still sitting in the drive when my brother arrived. It would have been equally odd for a strange car to be sitting there.
Chapter 22
Daisy, showered and dressed in her standard jeans and women’s t-shirt and came bouncing into the dining area where I’d been waiting.
“Ready to go?”
“I’ve been ready,” I drawled, “I can’t wait to get to some soap and water.”
“Well, you could have showered here you know.” She stuck her tongue out at me and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Did you really just stick your tongue out at me?”
“Yep.”
I shook my head. Daisy was like the sister I never had.
My brother met us at the door when we arrived.
“Hey,” he said moving to hug me and then stepping back with a scrunched up nose. “I would hug you, but you stink.”
“I know. Let me take a quick shower and then we can hug,” I laughed as he tapped my nose. Then he looked over my head and saw Daisy.
“You must be Daisy.” He extended a hand to her. “I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
He released her hand and stepped back to let her in, then turned back to me, “She smells better than you do.”
“Ha, ha. She’s had a shower,” I tossed over my shoulder as I headed to my room. I quickly stripped off my dirty clothes and threw them into the hamper. I tried not to linger under the spray of the shower, but it felt so good. I toweled off and then threw on my requisite jeans and women’s t-shirt. If Daisy and I had nothing else in common we had this. We both loved our jeans and t-shirts. Though, if I were staying in, I would be even more comfortable in some of my brother’s gym shorts.
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