by E. Earle
“Beats getting shot!” I smirked.
He stared at me in shock and then burst into laughter. “You’re all right, you know that?”
We stood a second longer before Riley went and embraced a friend in the crowd, leaving us both standing there with an arm around each other. I glanced at him again, but he was smiling at the others, watching them laugh and joke around.
“Hey!”
Brynn and I turned to see a girl approach, and then I realised it was the model-look-a-like from Craggys. Her long hair swung in the faint breeze and she was wearing hotpants and a crop top. I resisted looking down at my own attire and felt my gut twist as she flashed a brilliant white smile at Brynn.
“Hi Sam, how you doing?” Brynn said, his feet shifting awkwardly.
She glanced at me and hesitated seeing his arm around my shoulder. “I’m doing great thanks!” she enthused. “Hey, are we still on for lessons tomorrow?”
“Sure, why wouldn’t we?”
She swatted him playfully on the arm and giggled as if he had said something hilarious. “My friends and I are going to get some drinks, do you want one?”
“Um, well-”
I shrugged myself from under his arm and fixed a wide smile on my face. “I love this song!” I told them both. “I’m off to dance!”
Brynn was staring at me strangely as I waved to Model Girl and threw myself into the beat with Jessie and Charlotte. I turned my back to them both, not wanting to see if they went for a drink or not, and angry at myself that I even cared.
But cider was there as a substitute for rum and it soon numbed any twinges I had. We danced some more, ate, drank and eventually it was time to return. Brynn soon reappeared to walk back with us but I refused to make eye contact, not even sure why. I was exhausted by the time we had walked off the field and were making our way down the lane. It was nice people shouting to us, recognising us by our staff t shirts and after selling the dozen Jack had done, he was swearing he was going to make more.
“Does anyone smell smoke?” Jessica asked, leaning on Jack.
“Probably people doing late night BBQs,” I said mid yawn. I turned around and saw that Brynn had stopped to talk with Model-Girl and scowled. I needed to get away from the group momentarily and shoved my way forward. I’m a fast walker when I want to be and soon I was at the front of the walkers. I felt bad that I had left the team, but sometimes I just needed time to breathe.
I paused and looked up to the moon, wondering if its full state was making me go loopy.
That was when I heard the meowing. Stopping dead in my tracks, I strained my ears.
It wasn’t a normal meow. It was the long sorrowful call that I had only heard once. My feet started to run immediately.
My heart was pounding in my chest, the alcohol in my blood pushing me to run faster, the adrenaline forcing my legs to take longer strides. I was getting closer, closer to the call and closer to Craggys. That’s when I realised where the smoke was coming from.
I skidded in front of the place my biological father had left me to find the outbuildings in flames. Ben sat in front, the flames reflecting in his eyes as the smoke billowed orange into the air.
“Shit!”
“Ellie,” Ben hissed seeing no one was around. “Donny’s inside!”
My eyes widened and I almost fell to my knees. Seconds of my hesitation paused and soon people had started to crowd around Craggys shouting out.
“Someone call the fire brigade!” I screamed.
The fire spat out of Donny’s quarters and I jumped at the sound of breaking glass. I took a breath, seeing the open door.
Ben meowed.
“Don’t you even think about it!” I shouted at him. “You stay back!” I stared at the hungry colours spilling out from the outbuildings and knew I didn’t have long to decide.
Sometimes you had to do what was right. Make a decision you could live with. Even if it was the stupidest thing you ever did. I looked down at Ben, seeing the light glimmer throughout his fur. He already knew.
Knowing Brynn would be there any second to stop me, I dived into the building and into the heat.
Someone screamed behind me.
The smoke scorched my lungs as soon as I entered. I wrapped my t shirt around my mouth and nose and screamed out Donny’s name. The black and white photographs on the wall were flaking away, the black spreading and destroying the happy people within. Donny was asleep on the sofa, his arms crossed over his chest.
“Donny!” I shoved him and he startled awake.
“Wha- what?” He opened his eyes and saw his home in flames. “Oh God…” He made a mournful sound then, seeing his memories and possessions burning up. “Oh God!”
I pulled him up, tears running down my face from the smoke. Donny’s eyes rolled in his head and he started clutching for his chest. I started shouting and shaking him, trying to get him to stand. Donny fell back onto the sofa as the fire crept in, passed out. I pulled his arms over my shoulders, trying to lift him.
“Ellie!”
I could hear my name being shouted by Brynn outside, but the sound of the flames were calling louder. My eyes searched my surroundings and found no other exit, the windows impossibly small and too high. I turned around just in time as a beam cracked from above and swung down towards us. I cried out and threw myself over Donny as the sparks exploded and singed my clothes. Donny’s breath rasped in my ear, and I suddenly wondered if I would ever get out.
“Leave me,” he murmured, his eye lids fluttering as he came around.
“No!” I growled.
His milky blue eyes reflected the flames around us as he fixed them on mine. I grasped his hand and squeezed as a wash of pain twisted his features and he was gone again.
I had to save him.
Oxygen was burning away to nothing inside my blood and I sat back down, sweating and clawing for life to enter my lungs.
My head sagged as a cloud of darkness pushed down on my mind. It was getting harder to think. I tried to raise my head but it fell further down onto my chest.
Suddenly, I was a child again in my room in Tamworth. I couldn’t breathe. I had put my ladybird ring in my mouth and had started choking. Kayleigh started screaming as I struggled to breathe. Barry rushed forward and started hitting me on the back. I threw up and out came the ring. I saw it lie in a pool of spaghetti, my favourite Victoria plumb bedcovers ruined. I turned around but my dad was already walking downstairs, his duty done.
The memory disintegrated as hands were on my arms and dragging me up. I shoved them away from me and turned around.
Brynn’s urgent face was covered in a red light as he yanked me to him. “What the hell are you doing?” he yelled into my face. He lifted me by the waist and started dragging me away before I struggled free.
“Get Donny first!” I screamed.
Brynn finally made out the image of Donny passed out on the sofa. His face furious, he swung forward, picked up Donny and slung him over his shoulder.
“Ellena, come on!”
I choked as I took a step forward after him and suddenly there was no more air. It was like being underwater again. Suddenly another beam fell behind me and I swung around just in time to see the gas canister that Donny liked to have for his heating.
Oh shit.
“Get out, get out!”
Sometimes you had to do what was right. Even if it was really stupid.
Taking a breath that didn’t exist; I ran and picked it up, crying out when the metal burnt my hands. Turning back around, I tore through the outbuilding, jumping over a fallen beam and into the sea of screaming faces.
Hands reached for me as I ran with it outside behind Brynn and threw it as hard as I could away from the fire. Hands touched my shoulders, and their added weight forced me down, my eyes never leaving the metal cylinder as it rolled down the hill.
Away from Craggys.
I didn’t even make it to my knees before I was caught by a group of people. Tears ruined
my vision as I made out people’s faces swimming in front of me.
“Donny…” I wheezed. “Is he ok?”
Someone was patting me on the shoulder but still my eyes stung from the smoke. People were laying me on the ground then as the world started swimming.
The faint sound of sirens were beckoning.
“Hey, is that a cat?”
“Get it away!”
“No!” I growled, reaching out for anything and feeling fur. I pulled it close, knowing he was there. “Oh God, Ben. Thank God you’re here.”
He purred against my face and I didn’t care if my hands were red raw. He licked the salt from my tears and stuck his face in my ear. “Silly little human,” he gently meowed.
“Don’t leave me,” I urged him, feeling my consciousness crawl away. “Be there when I wake up-”
I could hear people talking and someone murmuring in my ear, telling me I would be fine. A hand stroked my hair and I grasped onto it, not knowing who it was. The hand was large and freckled. I knew this hand. I had stared at it forever, engraving each line and mark into my memory.
“Remember these hands,” I told myself as I sat at the hospital bed with him.
I looked up into the crowd of blurred faces and saw only one in a midst of smoke.
My Granddad smiled at me.
I laughed and allowed blackness to swirl me away.
We were in my Nan’s living room. It always happened there. The family were milling about but it didn’t matter. My focus was on one person. My granddad was smiling at me, glancing at his sons interestedly as they spoke. I couldn’t make out any words anyone was saying. They didn’t matter in that moment- what mattered was that he was there.
“Granddad?”
I watched my mother talk to my Nan and I tried to pull on her jumper to get her attention. For some reason I couldn’t get a grasp. I looked back at my Granddad.
“All right, trouble?”
I nodded, unable to keep the smile form splitting my face in two.
“We need to tell them you’re here,” I said to him.
He shrugged at me as if saying, “Be my guest.”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out.
“See?” he said with a chuckle. “It’s hard isn’t it?”
Frowning, I stood up, and as I did, the image of him wavered. “Come home with me,” I pleaded.
“I am home, pet,” he said, his eyes glinting. “Where are you?”
Chapter Seven
“This is a hospital not a zoo!”
“You don’t understand-”
“You need to get that animal out of here!”
I opened my eyes to feel a weight on my chest. Orange stared back at me and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was always at home with Ben.
Apparently me, Donny and Brynn had been taken to hospital last night. Donny had suffered a heart attack from the shock of waking up seeing his house ablaze, I had a bad bout of smoke inhalation and they brought Brynn in as a precaution and released him the same night.
“You’re not to say anything to my mother about this!” I hissed at Brynn as he spooned soup into my mouth. I had badly burnt my hands by grabbing the gas canister and couldn’t pick up a thing.
I shook my head in embarrassment at being spoon fed and growled when it dribbled down my chin. Ben was hiding under the covers away from the nurse. I had tried to explain that he was my therapy pet, ignoring Brynn’s raised eyebrows to the nurse and that if they tried to remove him, I would discharge myself.
I would have to do that at some point anyway.
Brynn wanted me to stay to make sure, but I wanted to get back to Craggys. The fire was being investigated by police and they had wiped it off as a prank by the revellers. Brynn and I knew better.
He was angry that I had jumped into the fire, but when I snapped at him that he would have done the same thing, he soon shut up about it. He did however start shovelling the soup in a bit faster, I guess to stop me from arguing with him further.
“You jumped in after me,” I stated, unable to look at him for some reason. When I finally did, he was staring at me, his face drawn.
“I did.”
“That’s the second time you’ve saved my life,” I said, trying to inject a smile into my voice to lighten the mood. It didn’t work.
“You went after Donny,” he said, placing the now empty soup bowl on a side table. “If that gas canister had gone off-”
I put a bandaged hand on his shoulder to stop him from talking. We didn’t have to talk about that. His eyes fell on my bandages and he winced.
“It’s ok,” I said.
His dark eyes caught mine, angry and pained. “It’s not ok, Ellena.”
We both decided to say nothing to my mother. We knew no good could come from it. What had been done was done- her flying back from Australia would help no one- least of all my mother’s frayed nerves. I called Kayleigh however, wincing when she swore on the other line. Brynn politely excused himself during the conversation as I couldn’t do anything else but have it on speakerphone.
She threatened to come down, but after a lot of persuading agreed to stay where she was and keep her mouth shut. I don’t know why I told her, to be honest- I just had to. I told my sister everything that happened to me.
I could feel the depression start crawling back at the edges of my mind as I lay there in the hospital, memories of being there last winter tormenting me. But I had been without Ben, and without him I was lost.
Unfortunately, it made the news the next day. Brynn left the hospital to look after things and came back to report that it had all had a strange effect on our custom. I had braced myself to hear our sales had dropped- but in fact the place was packed. Festival goers were all talking about the fire and spread stories about the drama of the situation.
One day was the longest I managed to hide Ben.
When the nurse found him under the covers and tried to throw him out, I was gathering my things as fast as I could.
“Please, get back into bed,” she hissed at me, her hands going on her wide hips.
I shook my head, avoiding her chiding gaze. The threat of Ben being ordered to leave made my skin crawl. My hands shook as I was picked up my clothes and I stared at the bandages that were making everything so much slower. In my haste I had forgotten my injuries. I turned around with red eyes, exhausted and shivering.
“You guys have been brilliant,” I told her. “I’m not a crazy cat lady, but if you try and take him away from me, I think I’ll go mad.”
She fixed her eyes at me for long seconds, as if for a moment considering if she could allow Ben to stay and then finally shook her head. “If you insist on discharging yourself I can’t stop you,” she said, her Polish accent sounding delicious over her t’s. “But you need to get back into bed. You are not well enough to leave.”
I shook my head stubbornly.
“Fine,” she said. “If you insist on leaving, at least allow me to contact someone to get you?”
I shrugged and when I next looked up she had gone.
Brynn came to the hospital within twenty minutes. We didn’t talk much- he had strain written all over his face. I knew he was relieved that Craggys wasn’t doing too bad, but stressed because Donny was still in a bad way. I had been in to see him but he was sleeping and the guilt crushed my shoulders so much I had to stagger back out.
I don’t know why I felt it was my fault- I just did.
After ten minutes of driving in silence I cracked. “What’s wrong?” I asked Brynn, aware that his body was completely tense as he sat beside me. “Are you angry at me?”
He sighed and stared ahead. I waited for a full two minutes before he answered me. “Why would I be angry?”
I frowned at him, his words sounding too sarcastic for my liking. I stared at my bandaged hands and allowed myself a moment’s pity.
Ben purred against me, content that I had chosen him before the hospital. I smiled at the thought of it. He never q
uestioned my decisions- he allowed me to go ahead with them and was always there at the end whether they went right or not.
We started coming across familiar roads and I attempted to relax. Festival goers were walking through the village down to the beach or back to the fiesta field to have a look at the hippie market. Ben looked out of the window in interest as the world went by, his whiskers pressing against the glass. I would have given anything to ask him what he was thinking right then. I’d probably be disappointed.
He was more than likely thinking of bacon.
Craggys came to view soon enough, people walking in and out, avoiding the wreckage that had once been Donny’s home. Tape cordoned it off from the public, the bright yellow flapping in the breeze like frantic hands waving at my return. I closed my eyes to it.
Brynn slammed down the brakes a bit too hard, making me slap both my palms down on the dashboard to steady myself. I bit back a cry of agony and held my hands to my chest.
Brynn’s moody composure faltered for a second to allow guilt to pass by and he got out of his side, grumbling under his breath.
Holding back a small sob, I opened my own door before he could help me, ignoring the pain screaming from my palms. I didn’t want his help. Ignoring his open mouthed attempt of apology, I shoved past him and started walking towards Craggys, Ben happily trotting on ahead.
“You have a guest,” Brynn called behind me as I stormed ahead.
I was about to snap at him that we always had guests when Calloway’s still figure in front of me stopped me in my tracks.
All sound left, all words crumbled and everything else in my sight was blurred except him.
And suddenly I was back there in the barn, bleeding from a gunshot wound with Detective Arthur Calloway shouting at me to stay awake.
His face was drawn, pale and serious, hands clenched in black pockets. He was impeccably dressed as always in his black slim fit suit, professional and deadly. I wanted to drag my eyes away but failed, wanting to push away the feelings of hurt, anger and yearning that suddenly coiled up in my gut like a heavy rock.
