by Kody Boye
She may be blind, but she can still hear your footsteps.
Could the dead understand that you were there? Could they, when physically materialized but emotionally gone, sense your feelings, your doubts, your fears? They said that ghosts lingered in places strong in power, but could they truly inhabit the dead once spiritually gone from the world?
“Do they?” he whispered into the room. “Do they even…?”
Though he didn’t finish his sentence in the hopes that the thought would not occur to him, it came anyway, drawn to his doubt like blind insects on a dark, lonely night.
Do they even have souls?
Shivering, unnerved at the prospect that the dead were nothing more than dry husks, he drew up against Jamie’s side and tried to block his mind from any further assaulting thoughts, but was almost immediately targeted by his own aggressive emotions. The next thought to occur to him shook him even more, forcing him back to a childhood unguided and full of wandering doubt.
Forcing his eyes shut, he gave in to the thought that threatened to send him into hysterics if he did not let it speak.
Do we have souls?
The dagger slid into his heart.
A startled sob escaped his frame.
He couldn’t allow himself to dwell on that question.
Madness begins in such small ways. When breath is allowed, life begins.
Dakota stayed in bed for most of the morning. When Jamie woke and tried to rouse him from sleep, he complained of a stomachache and said to leave him alone. He didn’t bother to mention that he hadn’t slept for most of the night, nor did he say anything about the shadows that flickered in the corner of the room, casting doubt over his eyes like black tape sewn over his eyes with knitting needles. He kept expecting Diana to appear from the darkness and to look at him with her hollow, dead eyes, to judge him in ways only the dead could.
If she can even see.
Though Jessiah said she had no such ability, he knew better.
Earlier, in that cold, dark barn, he had felt something looking at him.
The blind couldn’t see. He would have felt no such thing had Diana lost her vision.
Curling into a ball in the hopes that he could steal the last traces of Jamie’s warmth, he wrapped the blanket around his body and sunk back against the wall, willing himself to close his eyes and to force light over his darkened frame of mind.
Force it, he thought. Force the light to come.
He squeezed his eyes together as hard as he could.
Pain blossomed in the corners of his vision.
A faint light winked in the distance.
There. You did it—it’s coming! It’s—
Two black eyes burst into view.
Frozen, Dakota could only watch as Diana’s lips curled back over her teeth. A wisp of air escaped her cracked nostrils like steam hissing from pipes. Her mouth opened.
The most horrible sound Dakota had ever heard echoed forth and yanked him from sleep.
Unable to sleep any longer and with fresh tears in his eyes, he pushed himself out of bed and ran toward the door.
If he could not fight the wolves, he would face the sheep.
“Hey,” Jamie said, looking up as Dakota entered the room.
“Hey,” Dakota replied, collapsing in the seat next to Jamie.
Leaning forward, Dakota pulled his socks up his feet and laced his shoes, sighing when he turned his head up to face the stares that greeted him. Most turned their eyes immediately, like the younger boys, who feigned interest in something else, while Desmond and Kevin looked on with wary, unsure eyes. Jessiah, meanwhile, watched him like a hawk, gaze indifferent as Dakota locked eyes with him.
You know, he wanted to say, but kept his words to himself.
“Your stomach better?” Jamie asked.
“It’s better,” Dakota nodded. “Did you ever get the map?”
“We got it sorted out,” Kevin said, leaning over the couch to set a half-empty can of apples in Dakota’s hand. “They’re fresh. Well, mostly…we canned them a few months back.”
“Thank you, sir.” He accepted the spoon Kevin offered and glanced back at Jessiah. The young man offered a smile Dakota wasn’t able to return. “What were we doing wrong when we drove in here?” he asked, using the question to defer Jessiah’s gaze and allow him to glance back without being suspicious.
“Driving around in a circle. I pointed it out to Jamie so he wouldn’t repeat the mistake, but there’s a road that’s almost always hidden by a pair of shrubs some jackasses decided to plant on opposite sides of the road. I gave Jamie a hatchet so you can cut them down before you leave.”
“It’s already in the truck,” Jamie said. “We were just waiting for you.”
“You mean we’re leaving? Today?”
“Well,” Jamie shrugged, “that was the plan. Unless you’re not feeling well.”
“You’re welcome to stay until you’re better,” Kevin offered. “We enjoy your company. Don’t we, boys?”
The younger children nodded. Jessiah bowed his head and began to cough into his hands.
“I appreciate it,” Dakota said, “but I have to be honest, we’re wasting time. We’ve been here for two days when we should’ve only been here for one night. Steve, Erik and Ian might already be in Idaho.”
“We can make it there by tonight,” Jamie said. “It’s not going to be that hard with the roads this empty.”
“And what if we run into another roadblock? What then?”
“Then we’ll figure it out if it comes to that,” Jamie said, stretching his back as he stood. “Well, Kevin, I guess this is where we part ways. You’re still more than welcome to join us if you’d like.”
“I appreciate the offer, Jamie, but we’ll stay here for now, especially since my son’s so sick.” Kevin accepted Jamie’s outstretched hand, then did the same for Desmond when he stood and stepped up to Jamie’s side. “Good luck out there, you guys.”
“Thanks,” Dakota said, accepting the man’s hand. “It was nice meeting all of you.”
“Be safe,” Arnold said.
“We will,” Jamie smiled. “Don’t worry.”
“Bye,” Mark said, eyes sad and unsure.
“Bye,” Dakota replied.
Jessiah locked eyes with him.
You’ll figure it out, he thought. I know you will.
He raised his hand. Jessiah raised his in response.
“Goodbye, Eagle,” Dakota said, nodding as he stepped into the room. “Thank you for your help.”
“There’s no need to thank me, son,” Eagle replied. “Be careful out there, and listen to what Kevin said about the roads. Take the path into town, then up to Minneapolis, but try to steer clear of the city if you can.”
“Will do,” Jamie nodded.
They stepped toward the door, looked back at the small family, and offered their final goodbyes before stepping out and into the cold air.
Almost immediately, Dakota felt a weight lift off his chest.
Though he felt sad for the young man and the unbearable pain he had to be enduring, he could not suffer someone else’s emotions.
“Jamie,” Dakota said. He leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you.”
“Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”
“There is,” Dakota sighed, “but nothing that has to be discussed now.”
Jamie shrugged and slung an arm over Dakota’s shoulder.
Just before they climbed in the car, Dakota thought he heard Diana whinnying.
CHAPTER 9
A gust of wind brought with it a colossal amount of rain as they crested the tip of Wyoming and pulled into what appeared to be a ghost town. Unsure of their current situation and unable to drive any further in the driving rain, they pulled in next to a furniture store and piled out of the car, shivering as the cold air bit into their skin and slicked their hair with fresh moisture.
“Fuck,” Steve breathed, rubbing his arms. “Who doesn’t have a
fuckin’ heater in their car?”
“I don’t know,” Ian said, teeth chattering together. “Can you get the door open, Erik?”
“Trying,” the medic said. He pulled a pocket knife from his belt and flipped the blade out, frowning as he stared at the single wooden door in front of him. “I’m gonna try to tease this thing open.”
“How?”
“You learn a lot of shit in the army,” Erik said.
While Erik pushed the door in and tried to relieve the pressure on the lock, swearing under his breath in the process, Steve looked out into the parking lot and grimaced at the amount of rain coming down around them. It looked like a living, breathing thing, gelatinous in appearance and forceful in nature, pounding upon them as though it were some angry god seeking retribution for the crimes they’d committed. Once, Steve thought he could see the flicker of something moving within the rain—a bird, possibly, maybe even a floating eye or something else—but he didn’t dwell on it for long. Just as his fantasies began to entertain themselves, the lock clicked and Erik pulled the door open.
“Thank God,” Ian breathed, pushing himself into the building.
“Stay sharp!” Erik called after him. “Hey, Steve?”
“Huh?”
“What were you looking at?”
“I thought I saw something in the rain.”
“Like what?”
“I dunno. A bird…a giant eye.”
“At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did,” Erik snorted, gesturing Steve inside with a wave of his hand. “Come on. We’re gonna freeze to death if we stay out here.”
Steve turned and made his way into the building. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was watching him just before Erik turned and locked the door behind them.
“The perfect place to spend the night,” Ian laughed, stripping down to his underwear and wrapping a quilt around his frame.
“I guess,” Steve frowned. He pulled a blanket around his naked torso and looked toward the massive glass panes that made up the front of the store, sighing when he saw that not only had the rain worsened, but that hail now fell with it.
“There’s no way we’ll be seen this far back,” Erik said.
“Especially not without any lights,” Ian added. “We’re practically invisible in here.”
“We have a car sitting out front, guys. I don’t see how you can think we’re invisible.”
“Do you want to go move the car?” Erik asked.
“I…” Steve sighed. “No.”
“Trust me, Steve. We’re out in the middle of nowhere. No one’s going see us.”
“And if there are zombies,” Ian said, “they’re not gonna notice a car that wasn’t there before.”
“Whatever.”
Steve settled down on the bed next to Ian and leaned against the headboard, closing his eyes in the hopes that his weary body would eventually drown out the sounds of the rain and allow him to sleep.
You know it won’t, he thought.
Who was he kidding? They’d been going for two straight days and had only managed to make it to the tip of Wyoming. His nerves were shattered at their lack of progress. He couldn’t really blame them though. They’d spent much of day one recovering from the flight from the school and gathering whatever else they could from one of the vacant gas stations on I-90. Yesterday they’d been on the road, navigating dead traffic and the occasional corpse. Now here they sat in near safety, quilts about their shoulders and warmth within their hearts.
It’s ok. You’re fine, Erik’s fine, Ian’s fine—everyone’s fine. You know Dakota’s fine too.
Biting his lip, Steve forced his eyes together and tried not to think about what could have happened to his best friend.
They got away. You know they did. Dakota’s damn smart and he can run faster than any stupid zombie. And he’s got his boyfriend with him. Desmond too. Jamie wouldn’t let anything happen to them. They—
All thought stopped.
After nearly three days of unbearable agony, he let out a long wail and sobbed. “I can’t stand it!” Steve cried. “I don’t even know if they’re alive!”
“Keep it down,” Ian hissed. “You’re making too much noise.”
“Fuck you, Ian.”
“That’s enough,” Erik said. “Come on, Steve.”
“Come on and what?” Steve sobbed.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me that they’re not alive.”
“I—”
“Look in my eyes,” Erik growled, “and tell me they’re not alive!”
“I don’t know,” Steve said, forcing himself to look into Erik’s bullet-hard eyes. “I can’t tell you that.”
“Think about. Jamie’s a soldier. Dakota’s survived just as long as you have, and so has Desmond. You can’t honestly think that something happened just because they’re not with us.”
“I don’t know what to think, Erik.”
“Erik’s right,” Ian said.
“Besides,” Erik continued, setting a hand on Steve’s arm, “none of us are about to lay down and die just because we got separated, right?”
“He’s my best friend,” Steve said, reaching up to wipe tears from his eyes. “I’d die if anything were to happen to him.”
“Jamie’s my best friend too, Steve. I feel the exact same way, but we can’t act like this, not right now. Until we know for certain, we can’t start thinking that any of our friends are dead.”
“How do you do that?”
“You just have faith,” Erik sighed, bowing his head. “That’s all you can do in a time like this.”
Steve closed his eyes. He’d never known himself to have faith, but at that moment, he knew he could have it in one thing. If he couldn’t, he didn’t know how he’d make it through the night.
He stood in a parka in the middle of the rain, hood drawn up to protect his face from the icy sheets that barreled down from the heavens like comets falling from the highest parts of the atmosphere. It felt like at any moment he would simply turn to ice, frozen amongst the dead cars and the long-forgotten businesses, but that wouldn’t stop him.
Cheeks burning and teeth clattering, he crossed the parking lot and made his way toward a run-down convenience store that looked to have been on its last legs even before the world went to shit.
Just get in, get out, he thought, shivering, stabbing his hands into his pockets. If there’s something that might be useful, bring it to the front. If there isn’t, just leave it.
“Can’t have yourself getting hurt by being stupid,” he muttered, drawing the revolver out of his pocket.
As he expected, the door hadn’t been locked before the initial owners and employees had abandoned it. Inside, masked in darkness and veiled in a thin layer of dust, remnants from the normal world lay toppled like statues. Glass from broken jars lay scattered across the floor, display stands hung from their last threads and change twinkled on the counter—it looked nothing like it should have, despite its ramshackle condition. What sent a tremble of unease through Steve’s chest, however, wasn’t the state of the store—it was the smear of blood on the checkout counter.
You don’t have to go in there.
“We’ve got nothing but cans. We need something.”
Stepping forward, he maneuvered around the shattered glass in front of the door and picked up a shopping basket, adjusting his grip on its twin handles before he continued into the darkened building. Eyes wary, heart beating hard in his chest, he crossed the narrow space that led to the cart section, then took a right and headed toward the far wall, where he saw racks perfectly suitable for housing chips and other bagged goods.
“You’re doin’ good,” he said, coaxing himself forward, despite the shadows that harshened with each and every step. “Keep goin’.”
At one point, he couldn’t even see where he was going. However, when he caught a glimpse of light piercing through part of a display, he stepped forward and let out a breath of relief when he saw a
shelf full of chips, pretzels and other goods.
Thank God.
“Hey, Ian,” Erik said. “Where’s Steve?”
“Dunno,” Ian said, squeezing water out of his shirt. “I think he went across the street.”
“By himself?”
“Well…yeah. Neither of us are with him.”
Erik shook his head. He set two fingers to his temple and rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing when a bolt of pain lit the center of his face and began to expand across his vision.
“I’m getting a migraine,” Erik said, easing himself onto the floor with the help of his other hand.
“Shit, man.”
“It’s genetic. My dad used to get them all my time. So did my grandpa.”
“How could you stand being in the army if you get headaches?”
“I only get them occasionally. Besides, I usually have enough painkillers around to get rid of them.”
“I think I just saw Steve on the other side of the lot.”
“Good. I want to get the hell out of here.”
“Is he ok?” Steve asked, frowning as he took notice of Erik sitting near the door.
“He’s got a headache,” Ian said, unlocking the car and tossing the spoils of Steve’s trip into the backseat. “That means one of us is gonna have to drive.”
“I’m ok with that. I didn’t feel comfortable with him driving the whole time anyway.”
“Neither did I, but he’s a bullheaded bastard.”
“I heard that!” Erik called out. A groan followed shortly thereafter.
“Guess that means we’ve gotta be quiet, huh?”
“He’s gonna hate sitting in the car then,” Steve sighed, slamming the door shut. “Are we taking anything with us?”
“Like what?”
“Blankets, for one. We’re gonna freeze if the rain keeps up like it has been.”
“It doesn’t seem to be letting up any,” Ian agreed. He turned to face the building and shouted, “Hey Erik! You fine with us staying for a little while longer so we can gather some stuff up?”
