by Ivy Jordan
“I don’t know. I just couldn’t bring myself to take the chance every time I started to. What if he had, though? Freaked out, I mean?”
“So what, you didn't want to risk rejection? Serena, that’s crazy.”
“It’s complicated, Ash.”
“It’s only as complicated as you make it. I think you were just being selfish.”
“Selfish? Are you serious right now?”
“Yes, I’m serious right now, Serena. You saw how good Cade was with Alan. You saw how much they were bonding. You freaked out.”
I contemplate her words. “But, what if” I start quietly.
“What if what?”
“What if I had told Cade the truth and he turned his back on us? What if I told him and he left because a family wasn’t what he was looking for? What if I told him and he broke my heart? And Alan’s?”
Ashley studies me before speaking. “Do you love him?”
I take a stuttering breath as tears threaten to spill down my cheeks and I rest my head in my hands, elbows positioned on the table in front of me, unable to look at my sister. “I do,” I admit. “Damnit. I’m in love with him. I’m so head over heels in love with Cade, but I’m a scientist, and he’s a superstar quarterback. How could he possibly love me?”
“Serena, you know you’re not just a scientist,” her tone was comforting, but still firm.
“He dated one of the most A-list actresses in the world, Ash. I can’t measure up to that.”
“Of course, you can’t – because you’re better than Josephine. He wouldn’t have sought you out the way he did if he didn’t feel something, too. You’re not just some nerd scientist, Serena. That is a part of you, but it doesn't define you. Just like being a quarterback doesn't define Cade. If you can’t accept that, then you’ll never be able to move forward with him.”
“When did you get so smart?” I ask, a smile cracking my features as I look up at her.
“I’ve always been this smart. It’s just that no one noticed because you’re smarter,” Ashley teases me.
“So, what do you think I should do next?” I question.
“I think you should try calling him one more time. Put yourself out there. Be vulnerable. And, I think you should tell Alan the truth, too.”
“You’re right. They both deserve the truth,” I say as I sit for a moment, summoning the courage to do that. After a moment and an empowering breath, I stand. “No time like the present, huh?” I stride purposefully to the other room where Alan is playing and stand in the doorway to watch him for a moment. He looks up and smiles.
“Hi, Mommy. Wanna play cars?”
He holds one of his cars out to me as I walk in, sitting on the bed. “Come here, baby, I want to talk to you for a minute.”
He climbs up beside me and stares up expectantly. His eyes are the same as Cade’s. I can’t believe he didn’t figure it out sooner. “What is it, Mommy?”
“Baby, you know how you have asked me why you didn't have a daddy at home like your classmates?” He nods. “Well, you do have a daddy, sweetheart. It’s Cade.”
His eyes widen, and he hops up to stand directly in front of me, smiling. “Mr. Cade is my new daddy?”
“No, honey, he’s always been your daddy.”
“Did you get him at the daddy store?”
“No, sweetie, you don’t understand-”
“I love Mr. Cade! Mommy, I’m glad you got me a daddy.” He hugs me, throwing his little arms around me.
I realize I’m in the midst of a losing battle trying to explain this to him, so I decide to cut my losses. “You know what, sweetie, we can finish talking about this later. I just wanted you to know. You play with your cars. Aunt Ashley is making dinner; it should be ready soon. I’ll come get you when it is, okay?”
“Okay, Mommy!” he calls out, falling against the giant stuffed panda Cade got him in the corner of the room before going back to his cars.
I return to the kitchen where Ashley is taking dinner out of the oven. “How did that go?”
“He thinks I went to the daddy store and bought Cade.”
Ashley tries to cover a laugh, but it comes out as a snort before she bursts out laughing. “The daddy store? Get me something for my birthday from there, will ya?”
I laugh along with her at the absurdity. “I guess I have a few things to teach him, huh?”
“Maybe in a few more years you can teach him about the birds and the bees, and it’ll make a little bit more sense to him.”
“Maybe. But hopefully, Cade will forgive me before then and he can have that talk with him.”
“Hey,” she says, coming around to hug me. “I think he really cares about you and Alan; if it’s meant to be, he will come back. Just think positive.”
“At least the truth is out,” I add.
“Yep. It can only go up form here.”
“I’m going to call him again. Not that the ball isn’t already in his court.”
She nods. “I’ll finish getting dinner ready.”
I walk out the backdoor into the yard and dial Cade. I hold my breath as it rings, hoping he’ll pick up, but when his voicemail picks up, I’m not surprised. I try to let out the breath as I listen to his voice, instead, my heart seizes and I stutter as it beeps on my ear.
“Oh, um, hi, Cade, it’s me, Serena. I guess you know that already by now. I just needed to call and say again that I’m sorry for not being upfront with you. It was wrong of me, and I should have trusted that you wouldn’t have freaked out over the news. I just let myself get into my own head. I never thought a guy like you could ever feel anything for a girl like me.
“Anyway, I’d really like to see you and talk in person. If you don’t want to, I understand, but maybe you still want to see Alan? I told him, by the way, that you’re his dad. Of course, he thinks I went to the store and picked you out, so he doesn't really understand it yet. I’d like it if you were a part of his life, even if you choose not to be a part of mine. But, I hope that maybe you still want to be a part of it. That’s all I wanted to say. I won’t bother you again. The next move is up to you. I…I miss you, Cade. Please call me. I’m sorry.”
I hang up and stare at my phone, lost in my thoughts until Ashley comes out and taps me on the shoulder. I throw my arms around her and just hug her as I cry. She doesn’t say a word, just lets me cry in silence before we go inside to call Alan to dinner. I have to be positive, I remind myself. Whatever will be, will be.
I just hope it’s an outcome I’ll like.
Chapter 35
Cade
It’s been four days since I walked out of Serena’s house a crushed man. I haven’t slept well since. Truth is, I miss her. I miss her like hell, but I’m still hung up on the fact that she lied to me. I can't wrap my head around how the person I’ve gotten to know could also be the person who chose to keep the truth about Alan from me.
She left me another voicemail last night, and I’ve listened to it twice today. I’m sitting in my living room, lost in my thoughts as I re-read her apologetic text messages when the phone rings.
It’s Tyler. He’s been checking in on me every day. He even came by yesterday to hang out for a few hours to try to help me get my mind off it all. Thing is, no matter what we talked about, my thoughts always seemed to go immediately back to Serena. I appreciate that he tried, though. I answer the phone, expecting more of the same diverting conversation.
“Hey, man,” I answer.
“You call her yet?” he asks immediately.
“What? No small talk, we're just cutting straight to the point today?” I say with amusement.
“No use beating around the bush. So, have you called her yet?” he repeats.
“No. I haven't called her yet.”
“It’s been four days, Cade. What are you waiting on, man?”
“I don’t know,” I admit – because I really don’t.
“Call her and put both of you out of your misery already. Damn, man. You’re mi
serable and you know it. I bet she is, too. Just call her already.”
“She lied to me, Ty. I’m struggling with it,” I admit.
“I know, and I get that you’re angry and hurt, but she’s been raising that kid on her own for three years. Dude, she’s just been trying to protect him. You can’t blame her for that.”
“She told him,” I chime.
“She told who what?” he asks, clearly confused by my statement.
“She told Alan that I’m his dad.”
“I thought you said you didn’t call her?”
“I didn’t, but she left me a message last night, apologizing again, and she told me that she told him, but that he didn’t quite understand. He’s three, though, so I guess that isn’t all that surprising, right?”
“Umm, no. It’s not. But you are not three. So, when are you going to man up and call her?” Tyler asks me again.
I sigh. “You are such a girl sometimes, you know that?”
“Just because I’m in touch with my feelings doesn't make me a girl. That’s misogynistic; do you really want to teach that to your son?”
“No,” I say.
“You know I’m right. I’m always right,” he says matter-of-factly.
“And smug. Don’t forget smug.”
“Just call her.”
“I will.”
“When?” he asks.
Before I can answer, the sound of my front door swinging open and then closing warrants my attention. That’s when I hear Josephine's voice call out. “Hello! Cade, honey, where are you?”
“Is that-” Tyler starts in my ear.
“What the hell? I’ll call you later,” I say hastily as I hang up on him. I drop my phone on the couch and jump up, meeting Josephine in the hall. Her face lights up with a smile.
“Baby,” she coos as she approaches me. She flings herself at me and tries to kiss me, but I avert my face quickly, and her lips graze my cheek. She pouts as she pulls back. “Is that any way to say hello? Kiss me, Cade.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” I demand as I pry Josephine off me and push her away from me.
“I still have my key, and you didn’t change the alarm code,” she chimes like she knows I didn’t change it just so she could come over. She couldn’t be more wrong. I make a mental note to change both as soon as possible.
“You need to leave. Now,” I command.
“Cade, I came to check on you and make sure you’re okay.”
“Okay? Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“Oh, you must be in denial. Poor baby,” she says, running her hand along my arm. I yank away from her touch. “I saw on XYZ about that lying bitch. Those commoners are never good enough for people like us, Cade.”
“People like us?” I question, studying her face, wondering what she’s really here for.
“Yes, you know. Famous. A-list. The elite. She was never like us, Cade. Never will be. She’s a lying whore, and you deserve so much better.”
“What, like you?” I laugh loudly, and Josephine frowns.
“Yes, like me. No one gets you better than I do.”
“You know that you liked having an attractive man take you out all over town, but you don’t know anything about me. You never cared about me, only yourself.”
“What, you think that slut cares about out? In your dreams. She cares about your money, parading that kid around and going after your fortune,” she spits.
“You don’t have a damn clue, Josephine. She’s not a whore,” I bite out.
“Maybe, maybe not,” she shrugs. “But she’s not in your league, Cade. She’s not even that pretty. And, she’s just some nerd scientist who teaches in a public school. What are you supposed to do with a woman like that? You certainly can't take her out in public. You’ll be a laughing stock, showing up places with someone that looks like her.”
“You know what, Jo? There’s only one laughing stock and it’s you. You’re so ugly inside that it’s starting to show on your outside.”
“Oh, Cade,” she laughs. “You silly, silly man. You don’t know what you need. That’s why I hired that private investigator. How else would you have ever known about your son if not for me? I’m prepared to take you back and forget all about this little episode. We can start fresh, me and you. Doesn’t that sound perfect? Just the two of us. We’ll never have to see that awful woman again.”
“Josephine?”
“Yes, baby?” she purrs as she sidles up to me.
“Give me back my fucking key,” I say from gritted teeth. She steps back flustered. “Give it to me!” I raise my voice, losing patience with her. She reaches into her purse and pulls it out, throwing it at me. It bounces off my chest and skitters across the floor.
“Now get the hell out of my house and my life,” I continue. “Don’t ever come back. I mean it. We are done. Over. Through. We are never getting back together. Not now, not in two weeks, not in five years. Not if you were the absolute last woman on Earth. Never. You are a bitch and hiring a private investigator to follow me around and dig into Serena’s life is the lowest you could stoop.
“You say Serena isn't in my league, but the truth is, you aren’t in her league. She’s better than you, and you can’t stand it because you’ll never be as good as her while she doesn't even have to try. She just is.”
“She kept your son from you. Who does that?”
“She had her reasons.” For the first time, I can see why Serena didn’t necessarily want to be part of my world back then.
“You're just going to justify her lies?” Josephine asks in complete shock.
“It’s really none of your damned business. Get out.” I point to the door.
“She’ll never understand you the way I do. She’s just an ugly ass scientist whore.”
“Do not ever speak about the mother of my child like that again,” I roar. Josephine’s eyes widen, and she steps back from me. I take several breaths to calm myself. “Get out of my house, and don't ever fucking come back. Do not speak to me. And don’t you even think about Serena. I do not love you, and I never did. I am in love with Serena, not you. Do I make myself clear?”
Her mouth falls open. “You can’t mean that, Cade. What we had was good.”
“What we had was toxic, Josephine. You never loved me.”
“I did,” she insists.
“You didn’t. You loved parading me around to prove something I’ll never understand. Serena doesn't need that. She doesn't need the world to think she’s perfect, like you do. She has character and layers to who she is, and I love getting to know each and every one of them.”
“She’s still ugly,” Josephine mutters.
“See, now I know that’s just your jealousy talking because Serena is sexy as hell. Every time I see her, I want to make her mine, I want to hear her cry out my name. I just want her. It’s exciting and passionate every time. It’s not lackluster, and I’m never just going through the motions like I did with you. Furthermore, she looks that good all on her own. No makeup, no tens of thousands of dollars spent on plastic surgery. She’s gorgeous without even trying – something you will never be.”
“I’m going to give you one last chance to reconsider, Cade,” Josephine says, stepping toward me again. “One last chance to tell me that you love me and don’t mean anything you just said.”
“How completely moronic can you be? I meant every word of it, Josephine. Now, you have exactly two minutes to get out of my house and off my property, or I call the cops, and you’re the next scandal splashed across XYZ.”
She inhales dramatically, and tears begin to form in her eyes as we stand there staring each other down. Thing is, as much as she’s a cold-hearted bitch, she’s a good actress, so I know it’s bullshit. “Thirty seconds,” I tell her, walking to the couch and grabbing my phone.
“Cade...” she tries one last time.
“I’m not messing around, Jo. Stop your fake tears and get the hell out. It’s over between us. It’s been ov
er for months. Accept it and move on, because I have.”
“Fine, I’m leaving. Goodbye, Cade,” she huffs and stomps toward the door.
“Goodbye, Josephine,” I say gruffly as she swings the front door open with more dramatic flair than is necessary. I watch until her car pulls out of my driveway. Back inside, I close the door and pick up the phone to call my alarm company.
“Yes, hello, this is Cade Thomas. I need to change all the codes on my system, and do you maybe have the number to a good locksmith that you recommend?”
Chapter 36
Serena
Yet another day has slipped by. I have been trying to focus all day while reading over my stack of term papers, but my thoughts always seem to stray to Cade. He still hasn’t called, and at this point, I’ve given up hope that I’ll hear from him, despite Ashley’s continued faith that things will work out. It was my turn to cook dinner, but Ashley took pity on me and ordered pizza. She said she was simply craving a deep dish, but I’m certain she’s just afraid I might get distracted and catch the kitchen on fire. She might not be wrong.
I turn and glance down the hall to check on Alan who’s playing in the sun room by the back deck, then try to focus so I can at least finish grading the term paper I’m only a couple of pages from completing before the pizza arrives. When there’s a knock at the door, I know that might not happen. Ashley goes to answer it.
I am deep into reading the term paper, and I don’t look up until Ashley clears her throat. When I do, a lump forms in my throat. Cade is standing behind her.
“I’m going to take Alan outside,” she says softly. I can only nod, and she squeezes my hand as she passes. When I hear the door close behind her and Alan, I make eye contact with Cade.
“Hi,” I say quietly as I stand from my chair.
“Hey,” he replies flatly. I start towards him, but my steps halt and tears begin to trickle down my face. I can’t help but think he probably doesn’t want me near him. In seconds, Cade is in front of me and pulling me into his arms. The moment he does, I lose it. My tears fall freely, wetting the front of his shirt. He just holds me.
