by Alex Mulder
Luke nodded.
“Yeah, I think I just need some air.”
He pulled away from her and walked over to the gates of the compound. A spell had struck them during the fray, and one of the members of Athena’s Wrath had spent the better part of an hour repairing it. He started to open up the gate when Tess pulled him into a hug from behind, her soft arms gently wrapping around him.
“Kato…” she whispered. “Luke. What’s going on?”
The stars and moons were out, lending enough light to the night to make her face visible even away from the bonfire. Unlike everyone else, Tess didn’t look happy. Moonbeams streaked across her beautiful pale face as she watched him with concern.
“Tess… I killed Marcus.” Luke let out a small, defeated sigh. “And yes, I know he’s not really dead. But I feel like I would have done the same thing, even if it had meant that he would have been.”
“Luke…” Tess stepped in closer to him and cupped his cheek in her hand. “It’s okay. I understand.”
How can you understand? I barely know it myself.
Tess brought her face close, not to kiss him, but to speak words that she spoke almost inaudibly.
“It’s because you live here now.” She had an intense, serious look in her eyes. “The outside world isn’t your home, at least not your real home. Not anymore.”
She’s… right.
“This is just a game, though,” said Luke, bitterly. “Or at least that’s the way most people treat it. And I still have to suffer through my life on the outside.”
“Luke… What if you didn’t have to anymore? What if neither of us had to?”
“…What?”
Tess kissed him softly on the lips.
“I’ve been through a lot in my life, Luke,” said Tess. “In the so-called ‘real world,’ I am my own worst enemy, the source of my own torment. It’s not like that for me here.”
“Tess…”
“And you realize it too! I know you do. It’s why you were willing to do what you had to do.” Tess rubbed her hand through his hair. “This game, this world, it’s beautiful, Luke. And I don’t want to have to let the beauty that I see here go.”
The group over by the bonfire broke out into raucous laughter. Luke felt as though he needed to take a break.
“I’m going to log out, Tess,” said Luke. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
“I’ll log out too!” she said. “You’re at my house, remember?”
Luke smiled at her, and then after pulling his journal out of his satchel, disconnected.
It was dark, and taking off the headset gave Luke a mild headache. Ben was sitting at his desk, still in Yvvaros, still at the party enjoying himself. After packing up his computer and VR headset, he shouldered his bag and walked to the door.
I need to clear my head…
Emily was already waiting for him in the hallway. Looking at her felt different than it had immediately after he’d discovered who she was in-game. He saw his friend’s older sister, but he also saw Tess. They had merged into one in the same.
“Hey,” she said. “Is this helping, at all? You don’t have to force yourself to play if you really don’t want to.”
“I’m going to head home for the night, I think,” said Luke. He smiled weakly at Emily and turned away.
“You can’t!” She grabbed his hand as he started toward the stairs. “Luke, after what your dad did to you last night… it’s not safe.”
“I’m going to have to face him eventually,” said Luke. “It’s just another shitty part of my life.”
“You still don’t get it…” Emily stepped in closer to him, keeping her eyes locked onto his. “Luke, you can leave it behind. Your dad isn’t a part of your life in Yvvaros. He doesn’t know about the guild hall or Dunidan’s Rest. Your problems here don’t follow you there.”
Luke could see something in her eyes that was impossible to ignore.
She’s carrying so much pain on her shoulders, but from what?
“Is that why you like playing it so much, Emily?” Luke couldn’t stop the question from coming out. Emily looked away from him and then shrugged.
“Do whatever you need to do, Luke,” she whispered. “And I’ll do whatever I need to do.”
Luke watched her for a moment longer, trying to find words that would break the tense silence. None came to him, and instead, he walked down the stairs and out the front door into the street.
It was nighttime outside, just as it had been in-game. Somehow, that made the transition out of the digital world a little easier. He was still glancing around for his HUD indicators as he walked home, but at the very least he didn’t feel jetlagged as he often did.
His dad’s car was parked outside and he hesitated before going into the house, but Luke knew that he didn’t really have any choice.
He’s not going anywhere. Even if he is an abusive asshole, I can’t change the fact that he’s my dad.
Luke walked up to the front door and slowly opened it. The house was silent inside, and for a moment he thought his father might have already gone to bed.
“You’re back.” Chris Smith was sitting on the couch. His posture was unnaturally still. “I wasn’t sure if you ever would be.”
Luke swallowed his anger and forced himself to speak in a neutral voice.
“I wasn’t sure if I was going to come back, either.”
His dad didn’t stand up.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
You’re sorry? That’s your apology? Just like that?
“There’s some food on the counter if you’re hungry.” His father gestured over to the kitchen, where a couple of fast food bags sat crumpled.
“I can’t stay here…” Luke was a little surprised by how heartfelt the words sounded as they left his mouth. “I’m not staying.”
Chris Smith sighed, and then stood up. He moved slowly, as though he was watching a deer or a wild animal that might spook easily.
“It’s your life to live, Luke,” he said. “I’m not…the father that I should be. But you need me now more than ever.”
I need you like I need cancer.
“No,” said Luke. “I don’t need you, dad.”
“Luke…” Chris Smith shook his head and looked up at the ceiling. “The game is not what you think it is. Yvvaros is not just an escape from the world… it is a world of its own.”
He’s actually…right, I think.
“I’m sure you’ve seen the news stories about people ‘going all in.' It’s not a game anymore.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Luke snapped back at him with a little more intensity than he’d intended. “Dad… some people don’t have the life they want in the real world. Of course, they’re going to be tempted by the prospect of living a second life.”
Chris Smith shook his head.
“They won’t be for much longer.” He sat back down on the couch and turned the TV on with the remote. “I’m not going to tell you not to play it. Soon, it’s not going to matter either way.”
What the hell is he talking about?
Luke watched silently as his dad flipped through a couple of channels, and then turned the TV off, as though he was looking for a distraction that he couldn’t find. He stood up and walked across the living room to the stairs.
“Goodnight, Luke,” said his father. Luke didn’t reply, and his dad disappeared up to the second floor.
Even though every fiber of Luke’s being was telling him to grab what he needed and go, he decided against it. There was something about his dad’s words that reverberated in his head, like a cryptic prophecy of what was to come.
It’s not just a game anymore…
CHAPTER 27
Luke stayed the night at his own house. When he woke up the next morning, his dad had already left, and he was thankful for it. It left him with the opportunity to take his time showering and getting ready for school without having to worry about another confrontation.
&nbs
p; The sky outside was a depressingly overcast shade of gray. Luke walked quickly, feeling as though it could start raining at any time. Ben hadn’t texted him that morning and Luke figured that he’d already left as he passed by his friend’s dormant looking house.
He headed straight to his locker once he’d arrived at school. The process of dropping off his bag and picking out his books for his first class felt forced and artificial.
Why am I here, doing this? What’s the point?
One of the jocks that had a locker next to his said something that didn’t register in Luke’s awareness. He closed his locker and walked to his first class.
It was a Tuesday, and that meant he was in Mr. Hartman’s Computer Science class. For a change, he arrived a bit early and had a chance to log into one of the computers and get settled before the other students started milling in.
The classroom slowly filled up. Computer Science was the only class that Luke and Ben shared, and he waited a tad impatiently for his friend to walk in and take the computer next to him.
If he left early like I thought he had, he’d be here by now, wouldn’t he?
Mr. Hartman came into the room and closed the door just as the first bell began to ring. He started teaching in a monotone, unenthusiastic voice. Luke was completely tuned out.
He has to be back at his place. Is he in-game? Did something happen with the guild?
“Mr. Smith,” said Mr. Hartman, catching him by surprise. “Could you repeat back to me what I just said?”
“Uhh…” Luke heard chuckles coming from the rest of the students in the room. “No, sorry, I can’t.”
“Take a guess,” said Mr. Hartman. “That’s what you usually do in my class, anyway, judging by your test scores.”
Luke felt anger condensing in the bottom of his throat. He sighed, and then, unable to contain himself, he stood up.
I can’t be here right now.
“Mr. Smith, I didn’t give you permission to get out of your seat!”
Luke wasn’t listening. He didn’t even bother to log out of his user account. Instead, he just grabbed his books and headed for the door. All of his fellow students found it hilarious, and Mr. Hartman was more focused on calming them down and keeping control of the room than preventing him from leaving.
The halls were empty. Luke felt a strange, foreboding sense of urgency as he grabbed his bag from his locker and headed for the exit.
Ben would have told me if something was going on. He would have told me, even if something wasn’t, before just skipping out on school.
Luke hustled out of the parking lot and toward his friend’s house, walking at a pace that was fast enough to make his calves ache. He did his best to keep his thoughts in line, but at the edge of his mind, fear and worry swirled together, forming into worst case scenarios.
Ben’s house looked exactly as it had earlier that morning. Luke walked up to the front door and knocked on it softly, then again a little bit louder. Nobody came to let him in. Immediately his fears began to percolate as if all of the bad omens had been validated.
“Ben? Emily?” Luke called up to the second-floor windows of their rooms. “Hello?”
He waited for only a second longer before opening the door and heading in. There was no sign of anyone downstairs. The living room and kitchen were untouched from the night before. There were still shoes sitting on the foot mat and dirty dishes piled high in the sink.
“Ben? Hello?” Luke made his way upstairs, a growing sense of dread twisting his stomach into a knot.
When he reached the door to Ben’s room, he threw it open without any hesitation. His friend was in almost the exact same position he’d been in the last time Luke had seen him. Except now his pipe was out on the desk, along with the bottle of vodka, which was significantly less full.
“Ben!” Luke walked over and began shaking his shoulder.
He’s skipping school to play Yvvaros. That’s not alright… is it?
It took physically pulling the headset off of him to bring Ben back from his game induced trance. He let out a surprised gasp as the headset’s contacts left his scalp and kicked the inside of his desk as he flailed around in surprise.
“What the fuck?” He was breathing as though he’d just run a marathon as he swiveled his chair to see what was going on. “Luke? What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” said Luke. “It’s 9 AM. Why didn’t you show up for school today?”
“That’s not possible. Emily would have pushed me out of the house if that were the case.”
Emily… Wait a second.
Luke stepped away from Ben and bit his lower lip. He walked out into the hallway and headed toward Emily’s room, toward Tess’s physical address.
“Hey, where are you going?”
Luke felt like he was walking through molasses. He struggled with an intense, sickening feeling that something was horribly wrong. He threw the door to Emily’s room open and froze.
She was lying on her bed with a VR headset on, one of the newest Gamesoft models, the same as what Luke and Ben had been using to log on with. The room’s metallic, copper smell was the first thing Luke noticed, followed by the dark red stains that coated the sheets on Emily’s bed.
“Fuck…” Luke shook his head and forced himself to walk over to her. “Fuck!”
She wasn’t moving. Luke fought against his emotions, along with the rock that had formed in his throat. He forced himself to check for her pulse and felt nothing but cold, clammy skin.
“No, no, no!” Luke let out a ragged breath and began shaking Emily desperately, wishing that there was something, anything that he could do.
“What… is this?” Ben was standing behind him in the door and wore his disbelief openly on his face. “Emily… has a headset?”
“Wake up!” Luke shook her even more vigorously. Her body felt disgustingly stiff. Tears were beginning to form in the corners of his eyes.
“Luke, how is this… possible?”
“She’s Tess!” Luke practically spat the words out, anger seeping into his voice. “She’s been with us from the start. She…”
He paused, and looked back at Ben, who appeared to be even more confused by his revelation.
“But… that means… you and my sister?”
“She just killed herself, Ben!” screamed Luke. “She… she tried to go all in…”
Ben shook his head and walked back toward the door. After a second, he began to take shallow, raspy, hyperventilating breaths.
“Luke… Tess was in the guild hall,” he said. “She was there ten minutes ago, probably is even still there.”
“…What?”
“If she was trying to go all in…” Ben looked as though he was thinking intently as he spoke. “I… I think it might have worked.”
Luke looked back at Emily’s body, feeling an intense need to confirm that she really was dead. Nothing had changed. His heart rattled against his ribcage like a rickety, rusty motor.
Without saying anything to Ben, without even expecting it himself, Luke turned and ran out of the room. The air tasted hot in his mouth as he ran to where he’d set his bag down in the living room, and within it, his gateway to Yvvaros.
“Ben!” Luke looked back up to the second-floor hallway at his friend. Ben was standing hunched, with shoulders pulled in and hands clutched together in a crumpled prayer.
“I’m going to… to check.” Luke felt his eyes and mouth scrunch together in an involuntary, anticipatory wince. “I need to know for sure.”
There is no way that it could be possible… could it?
He set up his laptop and headset right there in the living room, fumbling to plug into the power outlet and typed his password into the log in screen.
“Luke, we have to call 911!” Ben was down on one knee, still taking deep, shaky breaths like an asthmatic recovering from an attack. “Her body is still in there!”
“Ben…” Luke pulled the headset over his face,
half in desperation, and half in an attempt to keep his closest friend from seeing the tears beginning to leak out of his eyes. “I have to see for myself.”
He pressed the enter key and transported himself into another world. It was late in the afternoon in Yvvaros, and the sun was a burning orange sphere on the western horizon. Further up, he could see the faint outline of the larger, azure moon. Luke’s heartbeat felt even more intense in-game, and for a second, he hesitated from lowering his vision down and over to the nearby guild hall.
Dunidan’s Rest…
Luke began walking over to the open door of the rustic, wooden building.
Tess and I cleared this zone together. All of us did.
He stared at the ground as he set his hand on the wood of the frame, the wood that he had chopped down himself, and then stepped inside.
“Hey, Luke. Miss me?”
CHAPTER 28
Tess was grinning from ear to ear, a style of smile that Luke had never seen on her before. She was radiant and gorgeous, and very much alive. A shiver went down Luke’s spine and he ran forward, even though the distance between them was too short for his speed to be practical.
“You…” Luke pulled her tight against him, his heart thumping in a way that he was sure she’d be able to feel through their bodies. “Why...?”
“You know why, Luke,” whispered Tess. “Or at least you know some of the why.”
Luke opened his mouth but found that his throat was paralyzed by emotion. His temples ached in rhythmic spurts, as though trying to match the pattern of his confused heart.
“Luke… Kato… I wasn’t happy in the outside world.” She smiled sadly. “And that’s putting it mildly. Yvvaros has saved me.”
“You could have just… kept playing it. Normally, I mean.”
“It’s not a game, Luke!” Tess’s voice rose to a yell. “It’s never been a game! And people are starting to realize it!”
“My dad helped design it, Tess.” Luke shook his head. “It’s not something mystical, it’s just…”
“It doesn’t have to be something mystical!” Tess glared at him. “You know what I’m talking about. It’s a world, Luke. Another world.”
