He kept his gaze locked ahead on Jack's receding form until Jack stood in front of a familiar oak tree. Danny was just about to call out to him and ask him what he was doing when Jack took a step forward and disappeared into the tree.
---
Rain fell in torrents outside, sheeting down the window and beating an intermittent tattoo against it with the aid of a fitful wind. Danny stood before his easel painting a portrait of Jack in shades of umber and sienna, capturing his essence in hues of brass and antique gold, accenting the work with subtle flashes of green like oxidized copper. He felt conflicted, unwilling to believe what Jack told him, and yet just as certain that what Jack said was true. He'd always known there was something different about Jack, but not even human?
"So my boyfriend's a fairy," he said with dark amusement, setting the brush down.
"We prefer the term 'sidhe,' or 'fey'," Jack answered.
Danny didn't think he'd ever heard Jack sound so subdued before, so defeated. He turned away from the easel and looked to where Jack sat on the edge of Danny's bed with his hands clasped in his lap, looking like his whole world was ending. He tried to put himself in Jack's place. Would he have done any different had their situations been reversed? Probably not. So Jack wasn't exactly what Danny had expected. So what?
Danny felt something inside him give way. It broke his heart to see Jack like that, so small and drawn within himself. It was then that he knew that whatever Jack was, he loved him, and that was all that mattered. Tentatively, with his lips drawn up in a shy smile, he took the two steps to where Jack sat, and pulled Jack's head toward his stomach. Fingers played with Jack's thick dark curls. "Does this mean you will finally make love to me?"
Danny felt Jack shudder in his arms. The big secret was out now, so of all the things Danny expected Jack to say, "I can't," wasn't on the list.
---
The Laws of Faerie were clear. Never lie with a mortal. Oh, it's true enough that such things had been done in the past, but that was long ago. The world had changed since those days, and now fey essence and human souls were poison to each other. No one knew how it happened or why, only that it had.
Now the Seelie court knew. High summer had come and gone, and the Holly King had been reborn. The Oak King remained strong, but as the days shortened and the world plunged toward the fading days of autumn, he would be summoned to a meeting. The Oak King hadn't seen his brother since he'd slain him on Beltaine and was nervous. These first meetings were always awkward.
---
Jack sat next to the Holly King on the lush grass of the hill beneath the boughs of the holly tree. The new king had only been reborn a month and had not yet reached full maturity but appeared as a boy of ten, a younger version of Jack. Only the eyes told them apart; the Holly King's gray as a winter storm.
"I have not fully shared myself with him," Jack said.
"And that," said the Holly King, "is the only reason why you still live."
Danny rose up in Jack's inner sight and he couldn't help but smile, despite the gravity of the situation. He thought about the touch of Danny's skin, the gentle warmth of Danny's breath on the back of his neck, and soft golden hair curling above eyes as blue and clear as the end of the world. The memories jangled with the discussion at hand, and he cursed the necessity of having it at all. Why couldn't they just be left alone?
Jack dug his fingers into the cool grass and twined them among its blades, fists clenching around them. "Who are you to chastise me? What gives Mab the right to decide what path the heart treads?"
"She is our queen, King of Oaks, and mistress of even you. It is for all of us that the law exists. Who will take your place if you persist in this folly? Will someone take your place?"
For all the storm in his eyes, the boy's voice held compassion and reminded Jack that this boy held the wisdom and memories of many lives within his small frame. He always forgot that at first.
Jack sighed and stood, unwilling to meet the Holly King's gaze. There were storms enough in his heart. "Your warning has been delivered, and the sun sets. I have somewhere else to be."
And suddenly all the long years piled atop him and crushed him with the weight of things let slip. The Holly King sighed behind him. A sigh is such a little thing, unless one is the Holly King. Then a sigh transforms into the howl of the wolf, and the deafening silence of snow fall. A sigh has the sharp crack of ice.
No, not a boy at all.
---
Jack stared out the window as he washed the baking pan. Looking out across the city, decked out in its autumn finery of gold and crimson, he couldn't help but sigh. The days shortened and soon it would be time for his reckoning with the King of Holly, time for the Little Sleep. For the first time in centuries he regretted the cycle and chafed at the necessity of yielding to his brother.
Jack finished washing the round, metal pan and set it on the towel to dry, turning away to examine the cake on the table that he'd finished icing with butter cream only minutes before. While he hadn't done a bad job with the icing, somehow the cake had come out uneven, slanted to one side. It was his first cake, and he knew he would get better with practice, but it was Danny's birthday, and he wanted everything to be perfect.
He heard the opening and closing of the door and grabbed the little blue lighter, but fumbled for a moment before managing to light the candle. Danny entered the kitchen, eyes brightening as he tossed his backpack into the corner up against a cabinet.
"You remembered," he said, and walked over to Jack to hug him and kiss his cheek.
Jack blushed, feeling suddenly sheepish. "I'm sorry the cake turned out lop-sided."
Danny broke away from the embrace, yet kept an arm around Jack's shoulder. "It's beautiful," he said while kissing Jack on the cheek again. "Thank you."
"Well, don't just stand there. Make a wish and blow out the candle!"
Jack had done his homework and looked up the proper rituals on the Internet. As Danny leaned over to blow out the candle, Jack started to sing.
Danny blew out the candle, grinning like the devil as he turned back around. "What did you get me?"
Jack gestured to a large terra cotta pot on the floor. "Watch." Humming, he knelt down and thrust his hands into the dark earth. The late afternoon sun gleamed golden and warm through the window, and Jack gathered it around him, letting it spill down his arms. "Grow," he said.
As he spoke, two fragile green shoots pushed up out of the soil and began to wind themselves around each other as they grew, until a tangled sapling as tall as Jack rose up out of the pot. "It represents us; separate, but still growing together."
Danny clapped his hands once in delight and giggled. "Thank you, baby. That's the best present anyone has ever given me."
"You really like it?"
"I love it," Danny said, grinning. "Though, I think we're going to need a bigger house."
---
On All Hallows Eve, the Oak King was summoned to Faerie. Queen Mab chided him for his continued association with the mortal and cautioned him to think hard during the Little Sleep between death and rebirth.
"For We will not be so tolerant, upon your return, King of Oaks," she warned.
The trumpets blared, calling the Riders of the Hunt, and Mab went to join them. The Oak King turned his jeweled cup over on the stone table and vowed never to return. Golden wine spilled upon the grass.
---
Jack straddled Danny's thighs, just below his buttocks, and rubbed oil onto Danny's lower back. He pushed, kneading the muscles, moving his hands slowly upward. He was aroused, and, as he leaned forward, Jack's cock slipped between the mounds of Danny's ass. Danny gasped; his profile looked almost glacial in the gray-blue light cast by the street lamp.
Danny lifted his buttocks slightly and pushed back against Jack, and Jack lowered himself to rest his chest on Danny's back.
"Please," Danny whispered. Begged.
"I can't," Jack whispered back, letting all the longing of the worl
d out in a ragged breath.
Danny pushed back more forcefully, and Jack's cock, well-oiled from friction with Danny's skin, slipped inside him. Jack inhaled sharply as Danny's heat surrounded him. Danny moaned and pushed back again, taking him in deeper. Jack's breathing grew more labored and suddenly he pulled away, collapsing forward and to the side. One arm hugged Danny across his back and he buried his face into the crook of Danny's neck.
"It's my choice," Danny said.
Jack squeezed Danny harder, and his whole body trembled as desire warred with what he knew to be right. Loving Danny was both the hardest and easiest thing he'd ever done. All these months of growing and sharing, but somehow never close enough. As he pushed his nose against Danny's skin to inhale the scent of eucalyptus and jasmine oil, Jack smelled the musky, salty scent of Danny's own need just below the surface.
This isn't how he'd wanted things to go. Not this last night of his current incarnation. Yet, Jack didn't know how he could have expected anything else. Was this their fate then, to always be the maddening, unobtainable object of each other's desire?
Danny turned to face him and shoved him on his back, quickly straddling his waist, pushing against him once more. Danny's fingers were soft as they traced patterns around Jack's nipples, leaving trails of fire in their swirling wake. Jack slapped Danny's thighs, and his hands moved across muscles covered with fine blond hairs soft as down. Danny rocked slowly, thigh muscles rippling beneath Jack as he teased Jack's cock. Jack groaned, fighting the urge to take him.
Danny suddenly leaned down and rolled his tongue along Jack's neck, up to his ear. "You taste like salt," he said. "Like love."
And then Danny pushed away, rising above Jack, his buttocks once more slipping around Jack's cock. "I love you, Jack," he said before plunging down on the shaft.
Jack cried out and grabbed Danny's thighs harder as he rode. All reason fled. For so long he'd wanted this moment of joining. He opened himself up, releasing the part of him he'd always held back.
Danny leaned forward and Jack reached up, grabbing him by his hair, pulling Danny's mouth to his, kissing hard, then pulling back slightly, breathing his essence passed Danny's lips, breathing back in a little piece of Danny's soul. For the fey this act was more than just a joining of bodies.
They were no longer two, but one. What one felt the other echoed, and as Jack neared his climax, he grabbed at Danny's cock and stroked furiously. Their bodies went rigid and they cried out with pleasure beyond any physical orgasm exploding through them. The force tore them with its wildness and threw them down into one other. Fey essence twined with human soul.
Jack never guessed there would be fire.
---
Later, Jack rose from the bed careful not to wake Danny. He pulled on his jeans and fumbled for the black T-shirt that had somehow ended up under his pillow. Turning, he shoved his feet into his shoes and hurried out the door. Once outside, Jack hugged himself against the autumn chill. His strength waned as the year passed, and already he could feel the mortal thread of Danny's soul twining with his.
What have I done?
He could feel Danny tossing and turning in his bed as the fever took hold, as the fire of Jack's spirit began its slow subsuming. Guilt wracked him like the leading edge of a storm and threatened to bring him to his knees. How could he have let this happen? How could he have been so weak?
And then the Holly King stood before him, a boy no longer but a man grown with a gaze hard as grinding ice. "The Seelie Court convenes. You are summoned Oak King."
Jack fought back tears. Must he endure this now too? What right did they have to judge him? Didn't they know he judged himself enough?
"Will you not answer?" the Holly King demanded. "Must I call the Hunt?"
Jack sighed and shook his head. Only minutes before everything had been perfect. "Tell them that I come."
Then the Holly King was gone, leaving only the bitter howling of the wind.
Jack took a deep breath and a slow step forward, gradually quickening his pace. As he neared the end of the block he felt Danny wake and rise from bed to frantically search for clothes.
You shouldn't follow me, Danny boy.
Danny's answer was the same response that Jack had once given to him. "How could I not?"
---
Jack stood beside Danny beneath the boughs of the old oak in the park. The branching arms of himself, bare of leaf, arched over them. Danny held his hand, hot, dry palm gripping tightly. Jack knew what came their way, even if Danny did not.
The Seelie Court marched in procession, nearly a score of fey heading toward them. They glimmered like soft silver or gathered strands of moonlight and starlight. Great standards, poles flagged with ancient crests and twined with bells tinkled in the predawn air. Mab headed the procession, a statuesque beauty in gossamer silk, raven hair billowing softly around her like a cloak. The Holly King followed close behind her. He held the Chains of Binding and the pain of iron etched his face.
"They're beautiful," Danny said, his voice filled with awe.
Beautiful and deadly. Our doom approaches.
Danny squeezed his hand tighter.
Mab stopped a pace away, and Jack stared unflinching into eyes black as the void. He felt repentant only for Danny's sake.
For all her beauty, Mab's voice was a harsh thing, like the croaking of ravens. "You have broken Our Laws, Jack O' The Woods, King of Oaks. What say you?"
"I have loved as my heart bid me," he said.
"Then you will die as We bid."
He was disappointed that there was nothing more said, that a thousand years of living and dying could be dealt with in moments. He wanted to plead with them, but knew it pointless. With their laws broken, they would hinder judgment. The fey had turned their backs on him and were marching away. Only one of their number stayed behind; one must carry out the sentence after all.
The Holly King stepped forward, and in his hands rattled chains, each link as thick as his wrist. "Will you fight me, or submit to justice?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"I submit."
"No," Danny cried.
"You have no voice here, mortal," the Holly King snapped.
Before Jack's eyes Danny slumped, his eyes staring sightlessly ahead, bespelled by the Holly King.
"I love you so much, Danny," he said and kissed his lover softly on slack lips once before releasing a hand that no longer held his back.
Jack moved to the tree and put his back against the oak. The Holly King wrapped the chains around fey and tree alike. Cold iron blackened Jack's skin. He writhed in agony.
Jack welcomed the punishment and pain. Fey shall not lie with mortals. He deserved this pain and so much more. Because of his actions, Danny would die as well. He was getting off far too easy, and he knew it. I'm so sorry, Danny. How many Samhain mornings had the Holly King stood before him with the spear? How many Beltaine dawns had seen the Holly King raised on a gibbet? Too many to count, and no more after this.
The splinter of Danny's soul continued to grow inside him and diminished what made him fey, what allowed him to be reborn. For the first time Jack knew fear. Always there had been the certainty of the cycle and the comfort of the change of rule and seasons.
If only he could hold Danny one last time.
"I'm sorry, brother," the Holly King said as he raised the spear, but Jack heard only the snapping jaws of the wolf.
---
The Holly King stood over Danny in his kitchen. The mortal sat on the floor against the sink and next to a potted sapling and a portrait of the King of Oaks. It was Yule morning, and the Holly King had come to see that the cycle continued.
"I know you're there," Danny said.
The Holly King raised an eyebrow and let the Spell of Unseeing fall aside. "You should not have known that."
"Magick," Danny answered bitterly. "Have you come to gloat?"
The Holly King looked at Danny sadly. The mortal had wasted away in the weeks since Samhai
n. The part of the Oak King within him had nearly run its course, and all that remained of Danny was a husk of skin draped on a frame of bones.
"I take no pleasure in any of this, lad. I loved him too."
"But you killed him. Impaled him to the tree then cut him down."
"Mortal and fey cannot long survive each other," the Holly King answered. "Would you rather he'd endured this long wasting, growing colder while you burned? At least my way was quick."
"It's all my fault," Danny said. "I pushed him to it."
"Ah, lad. It's a fool's feeling, this guilt you hold on to. There is no blame in what was freely chosen by the both of you."
Danny looked away to glance up to the kitchen window at the beautiful day outside with its sky unmarred by clouds. The kind of day the Holly King liked to have on his own last days.
"What happens now?" Danny asked.
"The fey inside you will slip its bonds, and join with that sapling there. Before sunset Mab will come and breathe life into it and bring order to the wild magick. A new Oak King will be born this day as he's always been. He won't be Jack, and he won't be you."
"And my human part? My soul?"
The Holly King wished he knew. That knowledge might ease his own sorrow at the forever-passing of his brother. "Not even the fey know what happens on the twilight road," he said. "But if you see the Oak King on your way, tell him the Holly King wishes him a safe journey. Aye, I hope it may be so."
Danny's eyes burned with a golden light, and he reached out to touch the leafless sapling. A single green bud appeared on a branch. Then his hand fell and he sighed once before lying still.
A sigh is such a little thing, reflected the Holly King. Unless it is a clear day, a blue day. Then a sigh can fall away to a memory of green and gold.
So Fey: Queer Fairy Fiction Page 11
