"S'okay." Trinny flipped her dark hair over her shoulder, placing a hand on her hip in a mockery of bravado. The flamboyant gesture set her off balance and she tittered. "Wait...which tree again?" She bit back a grin, crushing a knuckle childishly against her teeth.
Chelsea shrugged. "Doesn't matter."
Trinny tottered over to an inviting-looking candidate, one mostly free of the Spanish moss and poison ivy so omnipresent in rural Georgia, and she slid an arm around the trunk then drew up a leg to rest on the base. The oak tree was so large she could barely extend her limbs around the trunk's girth. Trinny tilted her head against the bark, feeling it scratch her skin. "Just so y'all know, I think this is really really dumb."
"Kiss it." Chelsea ordered, rocking forward onto her knees and scraping out a cigarette on the sandy dirt.
"Pretend it's Ryyyannn." One of the other girls mocked, and Trinny stuck her tongue out, wagging it a little to make her point again. She supposed she should be grateful she didn't have to do anything more embarrassing. Trinny knew better than to ever pick Truth. She guessed her friends figured her choice a reflection of personality: up for anything, love for the spotlight. What they didn't know was that she just didn't want to answer questions. She could just imagine it:
"Okay, Trinny, what's your deepest secret?"
And, bound by a teenage sense of the sacred trust of Truth or Dare, as well as a liberal dose of Gentleman Jack, she would have to answer: "Well, guys, Ryan's nice and all, but I think I'd really rather kiss girls."
Which would go over like the Titanic and the iceberg. Trinny sighed, then gave her best impression of a sultry gaze and brought her free hand up to stroke the bark. She leaned in and pressed her lips against the rough surface, feeding off the laughter and catcalls from her friends urging her to make it a performance.
"Hey Ryan, the tree's getting more action than you do!"
"Yeah baby, do it like that!"
From the corner of her eye she could see her boyfriend look a little abashed, not watching her spectacle, as if embarrassed by her actions. Just to spite him, she renewed her attentions, then paused, her head suddenly swimming with something richer than alcohol. A strange prickling sensation began at the back of her neck, like fingernails scraping that sensitive flesh, and Trinny thought for a moment that she heard the trill of a pipe vibrating through the woods and into her head. She shivered and wanted to step back, but before she could pull away she felt the bark grow warm against her lips and there was the unmistakable sensation of being kissed back.
Trinny was so startled she stumbled backward, tripping over a root and landing hard on her denim-clad ass. Her black-rimmed eyes stared at the tree, the pupils dilated like dark marbles. She didn't even hear the reaction of her friends as she watched the tree, the knots of bark that curved under the wood flesh, the gentle sway of leaves and lichen. They seemed to sway toward her, like hands reaching to pull her back into an embrace. When she finally took a breath, she tasted dirt and honey.
"Trin!" Ryan bent over her, one of his large hands curling around her bicep. "Hey...you okay?"
Trinny still watched the tree carefully, half afraid it would move down to kiss her again.
"I told you not to drink so much." He continued scolding as he grabbed Trinny's chin and forced her to look up at him. She blinked a few times to focus; the world was dizzy. Maybe Ryan was right.
"If she's going to sit there on the ground then put her to some use!" The friend who had earned a smack earlier made a lewd gesture toward his crotch. Chelsea tittered at Scott's action, but Ryan only scowled as he brushed the dirt off of his girlfriend.
"Okay, Scott." Trinny drawled, taking Ryan's arm to haul back to her feet. "Since you seem so keen to play... T-Truth or dare?"
---
Rough fingers roamed over her skin, leaving a delicious tingle where they scratched, running through her hair, down her spine...
Trinny's lips parted slightly as she rolled over in the truck bed to rouse a little as the ridges of the bed liner pressed her body uncomfortably. Her eyes fluttered open, and she could hear Ryan's low and soft snoring beside her, mixed in with the rustling leaves and night birds. It felt invasive to have him so close and she sat up, letting the sleeping bag fall around her waist. The sun remained a vague gray light to the east, and though the air was chilly and the sky vast Trinny felt flushed and claustrophobic. Her coltish legs kicked the sleeping bag until free of it and she slid down off the tailgate, wincing as the metal bumped against her bruised rear. As soon as her bare feet touched the earth Trinny felt dizzy. Her feet and calves ached as if she had been running a marathon rather than sleeping. She couldn't quite remember everything that had happened after the game, and her stomach lurched. Maybe she needed more sleep. She began to turn back, but the prickling sensation on her skin returned. If the trees surrounding her had once beckoned before, now they demanded, ordering her to surrender into the dark.
She took a few steps before a loud noise ripped her back to reality like a cold shower: a sick retching in the rustle of leaves, then sputtering coughing gags with a sour smell carried on the wind. She watched as Scott emerged from behind a tree, wiping his mouth on his flannel sleeve as best he could before spitting out the last of the taste. He saw her and made a face. His breath drifted upward, visible in the morning chill.
"What are you doing up?" Even his words sounded sour as he contorted his mouth further.
"I... uh..." Trinny suddenly could not remember what she had been doing up or why she was walking toward the black forest. "I have to pee."
Scott shrugged and lumbered off. Trinny stood, dazed, unsure why she felt as if she had forgotten something terribly important.
---
"Stop it," Trinny ordered, turning her head away from Ryan's insistent kisses so suddenly that his tongue left a trail of saliva along her cheek. He tried again, this time nuzzling her jaw. She gave him a light shove. "I said get off."
His gaze darkened and his palm slammed against the concrete wall of the school courtyard. A few nearby classmates glanced over, now curious, and Trinny huddled against the wall, embarrassed and irritated. Her arms crossed her chest and her eyes studied the gum and patches of weeds littering the pavement.
"What is with you, Trinny? You've been acting fucked up ever since we got back from that camping trip. Did drinking kill what brain cells you had left?"
She didn't reply; all Trinny could think of was how the bend of the weeds and the dandelion flowers reminded her of the forest. Her heart felt wrapped up in those little curls of green.
"You've shown up every morning weird-eyed and you look like you've been slugged and drug through the woods." He ran a hand through his hair, huffing. "Trin... those bags under your eyes, this..." He grabbed her forearm and yanked her sleeve up, revealing scratches in her pale skin. She yelped at the sudden invasion. "If you're on some shit, I need to know."
Trinny wished the bell would ring, even though a glance at the clock told her she still had twenty minutes before class started. There was no way of explaining to Ryan. Why had she ever put up with how clumsy he was, how overly warm his skin was, the irritating way he grabbed at her ass like he owned it? Even to pretend being normal... she had been so foolish. Now she knew better, and wanted to spit out the very taste of him. Trinny turned away and searched the courtyard for a savior. A flash of red hair by the picnic tables caught her eye. Chelsea. Abandoning Ryan, she ran over to her best friend, grabbing Chelsea's arm and linking it with her own. Chelsea's smooth skin felt welcome after Ryan's rough fondling, and Trinny smiled brilliantly, expecting to see the sentiment reflected in her best friend's eyes. Instead, she noticed confusion.
"You're, um, energetic today, Trin." Chelsea began. "Why is Ryan looking at us like we just shot his dog?"
Trinny forced her voice to sound light. "I don't know. He's just in a bad mood today."
"He's been a bad mood a lot of days this week."
Trinny shrugged, not really caring.
"Look, Chelsea, I have to tell you something. Something amazing, like a dream..." Her voice trailed off. Perhaps she shouldn't tell Chelsea exactly everything, but it seemed selfish to keep so much to herself.
"Dreams? Trinny, you're about to lose your boyfriend from being freaky, and you want to talk about dreams? Look, you're going to have to--"
Strands of dark hair covered Trinny's lips when she shook her head and smiled like a geisha. Why could they not see how wonderful her life had become? All Chelsea and Ryan could think of was that she looked bad and didn't want to kiss a boy who didn't know the first thing about how it should be done. Maybe she should ask if Chelsea could come along next time. After all, she owed her friend for all of this and wanted her to understand.
"Trinny, are you even listening to me?" A note of despair hung in Chelsea's voice, one Trinny had never heard before and she offered a smile she hoped was reassuring.
The bell rang, interrupting whatever Chelsea intended to say next. Impulsively, Trinny leaned over and kissed Chelsea on the cheek, close to her mouth. The act felt so natural, bringing her closer to that pleasant other world. Her friend jumped back as if suddenly burned.
---
Ryan didn't attempt to talk to her again, and Scott walked right past her locker as if he didn't notice her standing beside it. By mid-afternoon most of Trinny's daze had lifted, and as yet another former friend passed her with just a whisper and giggle, she felt her stomach clench. Ryan must have told everyone about their fight... or else those who had open eyes and active imaginations had drawn their own conclusions. She had always imagined coming out would be like this and right now she wasn't even sure what she had done to earn her the cold shoulder from everyone. Had someone somehow read her mind? After everything that had been going on, she wouldn't have doubted it. She slipped into the bathroom, fingers sliding along the grimy tile as she turned to avoid another whispering figure, this time a girl she hadn't even realized knew her.
A quick check in the bathroom mirror convinced her she did, in fact, look like shit. How had she left home without realizing? Under each eye hung bags, dark like blackberry stains, as if she hadn't slept all week, and her cheekbones protruded sharply. She noticed along her neck a smudge of dirt and remembered waking up stiff and sore and finding soil in her bed. There was more... dancing....
But before she could question herself further, Trinny glimpsed in her reflection sprigs of bluebell caught in her hair. The sight made her smile, all concerns spirited from her consciousness. She sat there, entranced, a palm pressed against the smudged glass for long minutes. She no longer heard the whispers of the other students as they filed out of the bathroom.
"Hey."
Trinny felt herself being shaken, and she turned her head slowly because it felt as if weighed down with sandbags. Her eyes widened; through a veiled gaze she thought she saw her mistress, all angular features and rich hair like the night sky. But she wasn't so lucky; it was Chelsea, not the product of her wishful thinking. The girl's face was stern, with her brows drawn together and her chin thrust forward. Trinny had never seen her look so severe.
Chelsea pulled Trinny down, crouching between a cracked porcelain sink and the ancient pad dispenser. Trinny could not bring herself to return her friend's intense gaze, instead studying the patterns on the tile floor left by dirty wedge heels and sneakers. The tracks resembled tiny roads stamped out in mud. She wondered if she could walk upon them, follow them back to the woods.
"Look, we are staying right here until you tell me what is wrong with you," Chelsea said with gritted teeth. She then wiggled her fingers in Trinny's face forcing her to focus. "Honest, whatever it is, I'm still your friend. I may even already know if it's... if you're..." Chelsea dropped her hands into her lap.
Trinny wanted to tell everything right then, but she suddenly felt overcome by a wave of panic. She couldn't stand the way Chelsea was looking at her; her friend's gaze was accusing, and the way she was leaning close made Trinny's heart pound as if she were being trapped. She didn't like the concern she saw in Chelsea's eyes, didn't want Chelsea to think there was something wrong with her like everyone else seemed to. In an attempt to relieve that pressure, Trinny jumped up, nearly stepping on Chelsea's hand in the process. The other girl gave a squeak of protest and followed, whacking herself on the tampon machine in her haste and getting a rusty scratch on her jacket for the trouble. Her string of curses broke some of the tension, and Trinny tried not to giggle. She took both Chelsea's hands in hers, giving the other girl an elfin grin. Chelsea looked frightened, and Trinny stroked the back of her hands like a child would a whimpering puppy, roughly, but with good intent. She took a deep breath.
"If you want to find out, come spend the night at my house tonight. I can't tell you, but maybe I can show you."
"I... I really don't think showing me is w-what..." She was stuttering again, so Trinny cut her off with a strange trill of her tongue that made Chelsea's voice stop with its foreignness. They looked at each other without speaking, and Chelsea sighed again. "Please, Trinny. Tell me."
So Trinny did her best to relate the story, the faeries, the magic, her beautiful mistress and the wonderful ways they danced and played. Her body began to sway instinctively as she called up the pipe melodies in her mind, and Chelsea's expression changed from determined and scared to pure confusion. She stopped mid-sentence as her friend's forehead wrinkled and Chelsea opened her mouth to interrupt. Trinny saw Chelsea's fingers tapping against her thigh, a nervous gesture Trinny recognized.
"So Ryan's right." Chelsea's tone was low. "You really are on drugs."
The derision in her voice hurt, and Trinny drew her arms across her chest. She and Chelsea had been best friends since elementary school, and her simple disbelief hurt far more that Ryan's earlier display of anger. She had to find a way to prove to Chelsea that she wasn't strung out or crazy, and that she had found something wonderful. She had to let Chelsea see, and let her share.
"No. Please. Just come over. I told you I can't really tell it right." Her voice sounded desperate, even to her own ears, and she watched Chelsea's hand relax against her leg.
"Fine. I'll be there. But if you're lying to me about the drug thing, Trin--"
"I'm not! It's nothing like that at all. Trust me, after tonight you'll thank me. I promise, cross my heart."
Despite the sincerity of Trinny's protesting, Chelsea looked unconvinced. She didn't answer, and Trinny watched as she turned and stalked away.
---
They sat cross-legged on Trinny's canopied bed, both so close together that Chelsea's breath touched her lips. She could smell the soap and slight alcohol sting of acne wash on her friend's skin. The sheer fabric had been drawn around them, as they had often done as children playing games of princess.
"Now you have to trust me," Trinny said, "and do everything I say." She noticed the nervous flush to Chelsea's cheeks and reached over to pull up a strap of her friend's nightie that had fallen down over a freckle-tinted shoulder. Chelsea trembled slightly. "Close your eyes."
Trinny had promised not to tell anyone, it was different with Chelsea. Chelsea was so sensitive Trinny felt sure she would have no problem seeing the night folk, and she even had a faint hope that Chelsea would be taken in as completely as she was. Then Chelsea would be able to see that Trinny wasn't on drugs, or crazy, and that she had found something wonderful. Besides, there was just something right about wanting to share this with her best friend. It would be the same as it was when they were little, with all their secret codes and stories. She had to find a way to open Chelsea's eyes to the other world. It would be unthinkably selfish to keep it to herself.
With that thought in mind, Trinny leaned forward and pressed her lips against Chelsea's. She slipped only the very tip of her tongue into Chelsea's mouth and tasted the warmth and toothpaste as she willed every bit of magic granted her to rub off onto her friend. When Trinny pulled away, Chelsea looked so very red, her face matching the flame-scarlet of h
er hair.
"I knew it." Chelsea's voice remained low as her words flowed together, something about Ryan and being confused, her breath punctuated by little sighs and "I still love you, but's." Trinny could not understand why Chelsea didn't want to share something so special.
"Let's just go to sleep." Trinny interrupted, making a big show of fluffing her pillow and yawning. The sooner Chelsea saw what a privilege Trinny had been granted, she would drop all the nonsense about getting help and how much she had changed.
Chelsea's eyes darted from Trinny to the space beside her. She made no move to lie down.
Trinny knew what Chelsea must be thinking and it was so shocking her mind went momentarily sober. What did Chelsea think, that she was going to rape her? First the drug accusations, now this... it was like her friend didn't know her at all.
"Fine, sleep on the floor if you're scared of me now." She took the spare pillow and threw it to the ground, turning her back on Chelsea and burying her face in cotton-covered down. Trinny felt the light pressure of Chelsea's fingers on her shoulder.
"I think we should talk."
"Go to sleep."
Trinny felt cold when Chelsea grabbed a sheet and dragged it to the floor with her. She let out a slow breath of air and stared up at the canopy. Her stomach was bubbling with worry now. What if her attempts to share the magic didn't work, or worse, cost her her own trips in the night? She could lose everything in one action. Trinny rolled onto her side and clenched her fist against her bedcovers, silently praying that everything would work out despite Chelsea's closed mind. Now more than ever Trinny felt they needed this, to cement their friendship beyond any question of trust. She lay there, listening to Chelsea's muffled breathing with her eyes squeezed shut and her body tensed. She was so anxious that every sound made her twitch in anticipation of the summoning, each bump or whir of the ceiling fan causing a twinge of hope and then disappointment. When she finally felt the beginning touches of magic brushing against her she went limp with relief before being spirited away.
So Fey: Queer Fairy Fiction Page 23
