by Mary Carter
“We could hit the hot tub,” Joy said.
“That’s a fabulous idea,” Faith said, poking Hope. “You could make those candy cane martinis.”
“Yum,” Joy said.
Had they not heard a word about spending time with the kids? “Let’s skate with the kids and then do the hot tub,” Hope said. “Or we could all make cookies. Snuggle around the tree.”
Joy and Faith looked at each other. “Hot tub and cocktails?” Joy said.
“Hot tub and cocktails,” Faith said. Faith barged ahead to the car. Joy tugged on Hope’s sleeve. “I’m going to get her drunk and find out who she’s sleeping with.”
Hope just stared at Joy, mouth slightly agape.
Joy flounced ahead, catching up with Faith, linking arms with her, giggling like they were schoolgirls. She watched their hair bounce, heard their laughter mingle together. Hope, too, wanted details on who Faith was sleeping with and why. But she was giving Faith space, waiting for her to tell them in her own good time. Maybe she wasn’t really related to Faith and Joy. Maybe she was adopted. Maybe that’s why she was so drawn to orphaned dogs. Maybe they were all adopted.
* * *
Josh sat on the bench, freezing his behind off with Harrison as Brittany and Austin continued to skate and laugh, but his mind was elsewhere. He was playing out the fantasy that his mother would once, just once, leave her phone where he could get at it. He’d thought about sneaking into her room while she was sleeping, but the thought of getting caught terrified him. If he could just get the phone and find out who this guy Charlie was, then he’d get the information to his father so he could do something about it. He would do something about it, wouldn’t he? His father still loved his mother, he could tell. Not only could he tell, he could see how much his father was hurting. All you had to do was look in his eyes and see the pain. Sometimes he saw the same pained eyes when he looked in the mirror. Sometimes he felt so sad he just wanted it all to stop. He spent a lot of time imagining his death, and even more time imagining everyone’s reaction. He’d play it over and over again in his mind. He knew it wasn’t right to do that, and the really sick part was—he actually enjoyed it. Not imagining he was dead, but imagining everyone else reacting to it. It felt so satisfying to be the one to finally make them get it. To make them see that they just didn’t appreciate anything, especially him. In his fantasies it felt so good to show them.
Brittany was clueless, going on and on about Christmas as if they were children, acting like a child, getting all of Aunt Hope’s attention. Josh was just waiting for Brittany to declare that she still believed in Santa Claus. Everyone around here was pretending. Josh was tired of watching them skate, but he got the feeling Austin was keeping his eye on him. Josh had to act normal so the guy would leave him alone. He was tired of everything. Would anything ever seem fun again? He wanted to snap out of his bad moods and he tried, really he did, but they always came back. Like a Ninja pouncing on him, hijacking his brain. It was an impulse, that’s all, like when the doctor hit your knee with that little silver hammer and it bounced up. His knee kept bouncing up even though he wanted it to stop. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
You’re an idiot, Josh. Now he’d be watched like a hawk. Not that he really intended on killing himself. It just made him feel calmer, having the option. An escape hatch when things got too jumbled inside his head. A way out. A way to show them. But he would never do it. He knew that now. It was time to stop all this pretending.
He just needed to get his mom’s phone and find out who Charlie was, and why his mom was calling him all the time with that goofy look on her face. Then he had to make sure his dad came out here.
Drowning. Did he really ask Austin about drowning? The pond was way too frozen. Maybe he could go sledding and aim directly for a tree. But what if he just ended up brain-damaged? Like Roger? Of course he probably wouldn’t know it, so maybe it wouldn’t matter. Roger seemed happy enough.
No. He didn’t want brain damage, and he didn’t really want to end his life. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were. It was all his mother’s fault. She was planning on destroying the only thing he liked about his family: his dad. It would be one thing if his dad was happy about it. Josh could go live with him. He’d have his own room. They’d go to baseball games and order pizza every night and leave the television on full blast overnight. Cleaning would only be when necessary.
“Your mother and sister are coming over,” his father would say. “Let’s throw these boxes out and turn down the television.” Josh wouldn’t mind that. His mother would miss him so much she’d bring video games and cupcakes. Brittany would be squirming with jealousy.
But his father wasn’t acting as if he wanted to get a place with Josh. His father was scuttling around like a tortured man. He didn’t want to be cheated on and he didn’t want a bachelor pad with or without his son because he didn’t want a divorce.
“Come on. Put those skates on and get out here,” Austin called, breaking Josh out of his daydream. Just then Roger plopped down next to him on the bench. Josh scooted away. Did he notice? Had he just hurt his feelings? Roger didn’t seem to notice. He picked up the skate closest to him and began loosening the laces, as if preparing it. He handed it to Josh. Josh pointed at Roger.
“You skate?” Roger shook his head. He offered the skate again to Josh.
“I suck,” Josh said. Roger grinned. His teeth were nicer than Josh expected.
“Fun,” Roger said. His voice was throaty, as if it had been packed away in a dusty attic for a dozen years.
“You’ll have all the fun,” Josh said. “Watching me fall on my ass.”
Roger laughed. Austin stopped skating and stared. Josh shook his head and tore off his boot, then put on the skate. Roger was still laughing.
“If you’re going, Big Dude, then so am I,” Harrison said, striding across the lawn. Brittany and Austin cheered. Harrison headed to the barn for a pair of skates. Josh had just finished lacing his left skate and was putting on the right when his great-grandmother came tearing out of the house. She had some speed on her for an old lady. She was wearing a nightdress and running in the freezing cold. Old people were crazy. They could do whatever they wanted and get away with it. She could shout out mean things, too, and nobody sent her to her room. His great-grandmother could drink whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, even for breakfast. It might not be so bad getting old.
“Yvette?” Austin said. “Are you okay?” Breathless, she ran to Roger, stood over him, staring. Roger stopped laughing and stared back. Yvette placed her hands on Roger’s face.
“You laughed,” she said. “I saw you from the window. You were laughing.” Tears dripped down his grandmother’s face. Roger just stared.
“You didn’t know he could laugh?” Josh said.
“Yvette, you’re going to freeze to death,” Austin said.
“Don’t take your work home with you,” Yvette called to Austin. Josh felt his face flame red. He didn’t dare look at Austin. If Austin said anything to anyone he was going to kick his ass.
“I laughed,” Roger said. Yvette started to cry harder. God, these people were weird. It made him think of his grandma Carla. She was old, too, but she wasn’t crazy. Just fun. He wished she were here instead of in Cuba. Maybe he’d call her. Maybe she would know how to get her daughter to stop cheating on her husband. Now that would be a Christmas miracle. Josh wobbled out to the pond and stepped onto the ice. Too bad it wasn’t fall. If it was fall, the ice would crack, and maybe he would fall through. He could definitely see himself going under and never coming back up. They’d be so sorry. They would all be so sorry.
* * *
When the Garland Girls arrived at the property, Hope was surprised to see Austin and Harrison skating with the kids. She wanted to join them.
“No,” Faith said before they’d even gotten out of the car. “This is a perfect time to sneak into the hot tub.”
“Maybe another time,” Hope said.
“Not a chance,” Faith said. “You’re the one always insisting that the three of us do things together, so you’re getting in that hot tub and drinking one of your own cocktails whether you like it or not.”
“Shazam!” Joy said.
“I’m not making cocktails before noon,” Hope said.
“Then don’t,” Faith said. “But you’re getting in that hot tub if we have to wrestle you in.”
“Fine,” Hope said. “But you’d better take the blame if Brittany is upset.”
“I’ll get the booze,” Joy said. “You guys don’t have swimsuits with you, do you?”
“No,” Faith said. “Bra and panties, underneath winter coat. Once the hot tub is cooking we’ll slip our coats off and get in. We’ll make sure we have enough towels, and when we’re done we’ll just race for the house.” Faith and Joy giggled. Hope wanted to skate and she definitely didn’t want to drink, but she also didn’t want to leave Joy and Faith alone to bond and share deep secrets without her. That’s why twenty or so minutes later she was actually slipping into the hot tub in her bra and panties. The hot water enveloped her, but every inch of skin exposed to the cold tingled. Hope soon wished she’d made cocktails. Joy held up a bottle of whiskey, drank, and passed it to Faith. Faith drank and passed it to Hope.
“We have to stay in here until that bottle is gone!” Joy exclaimed.
Hope groaned and took the tiniest sip possible. “Again,” Faith said. The two of them, little pushers. Hope was saved by Joy grabbing the bottle out of her hands.
“So,” Joy said, turning to Faith after the bottle had gone around twice. “Who is he?”
Faith sank deeper into the hot tub. “What?”
“You can’t tell us you’re having an affair and not give us details,” Joy said. “Who is he?”
“Just someone,” Faith said.
“Don’t you trust us?” Joy said.
“Are you in love?” Hope said.
Faith’s face opened up. “I think I am,” she said. “Oh, I really am.” Then, she started to cry. “How can I do this? How can I destroy my husband? My kids?”
“Is it too late?” Hope said. “Can you make things work?”
Faith slowly shook her head. “No, even if it weren’t for Charlie I would leave Stephen. He’s so great. Just not great for me.”
“And Charlie is?” Hope asked.
“Oh yes. Charlie is a total match for me.”
“Who is Charlie?” Joy pressed.
“We met at a book club,” Faith said. “Can you imagine?”
“Were you reading Fifty Shades of Grey?” Joy asked.
“Of course not,” Faith said. “We were reading something sophisticated and literary.”
“You can’t even remember what it was, can you?” Hope asked.
Faith laughed. “I can’t remember a word of it, or what it’s called. Except that I hated it and Charlie loved it.”
“How long have you been seeing him?” Joy asked.
“Four months,” Faith said. “And we’re still in the honeymoon phase.”
“Do you have a picture?” Hope asked.
“In my phone,” Faith said. “I’ll show you when we’re not in a hot tub. Although I think I should tell you—”
“MOM!” Brittany was racing across the lawn toward them.
“We’ve been spotted,” Hope said, ducking down. “Act sober.”
“Act sober,” Joy mimicked.
“Act sober,” Faith said. They dissolved into laughter again. The snow was coming down harder now. Brittany was a blur running toward them.
“It’s snowing!” Joy cried out, her face turned to the sky.
“Mom?” Brittany said, coming to a stop near the deck and looking up at them.
“Baby!” Faith said.
“Hey, kiddo,” Hope said. “You went skating, huh?”
“Are you guys drunk?” Brittany said.
“We’re just terrible actors,” Joy said. She and Faith dissolved into giggles.
“I’m not,” Hope said. Only slightly tipsy.
“We are, honey,” Faith said. “We are so drunk.” She splashed Joy and Joy splashed back.
Hope got out of the tub. God, it was like ice! She reached for a towel and hurriedly dried herself. She turned to grab her coat. Austin was standing next to Brittany staring up at her. “Oh!” Hope said. “I didn’t know you were there.” She hurriedly put on her coat as Joy and Faith cackled behind her. Austin’s mouth was hanging open.
“She’s looking good, don’t you think?” Faith said.
“She’s hot,” Joy said. “Don’t you think, Austin?”
“Stop it!” Hope’s face flamed.
“Are they drunk?” Austin said.
“We are so drunk,” Joy said. Hope shoved on her boots, hat, and scarf and jumped off the deck. She headed for the house.
“Are we just going to leave them there?” Brittany asked.
“It’s a heck of a lot nicer than what I’d like to do to them,” Hope said.
CHAPTER 24
Josh couldn’t believe his mother and Aunt Joy were acting so silly. Like children with their squealing and giggling and inside jokes. And yet, it gave him the exact opportunity he was looking for. She’d left her cell phone in the house, on her bed. Josh had passed by the room several times now and he was pretty sure no one was paying any attention. Hope was making dinner; the smell of roast chicken filled the air. Brittany and Austin were building a snowman right by the window. Roger was watching them. Granny was on the sofa wrapped in blankets, drinking tea—although Josh had seen her pour whiskey into it—and Harrison was playing solitaire. And just as he had entered his mother’s room and was about to grab her phone, she and Joy came whooping through the front door. He didn’t want to risk taking it now. He hurried out of the room, down the stairs, and grabbed his coat from the mudroom. He was going to be wherever his mother was not as often as he could. At least until his dad could straighten this mess out. And that wasn’t going to happen until he got Charlie’s number off the phone. For now he was going to video call his grandmother in Florida. Maybe they hadn’t headed off for Cuba yet. He took his iPad past the dorky snowman and to the side of the house. Roger was only a few feet away putting up more Christmas decorations. He waved at Josh, but then went back to minding his own business. Josh pulled up the info for Grandma Carla and tried to reach her.
“Joshua!” He heard Grandma Carla’s voice first and watched as her face appeared on the screen. She looked tanned and smiling. He wanted to live with her.
“Hi, Grandma,” he said. “Mom is drunk.”
“Good for her,” his grandmother said with a wink. She held up a frozen drink. “I’m working on it.” God, my family is weird. “Is it snowing there?” she asked, leaning forward. She was in a swimsuit, on a sailboat.
“Are you in Cuba?” he asked, squinting.
“No, that didn’t work out. God, this society and their rules. Fernando needing ID and a permanent address to travel. The Bohemian spirit is disappearing. This planet belongs to all of us. Mark my words, there’s going to be a revolution. We’ll go to Cuba next year, Joshie; you’ll come too.”
“Can I drink rum?”
“Of course. It’ll put hair on your chest.”
“Can I live with you?”
Grandma Carla didn’t answer the question. Instead, she leaned forward as if trying to enter the screen. “Is that snow I see behind you?”
“Yeah,” he said. “There’s a ton of it.”
“God bless,” she said.
“I’d rather live with you. In Florida. Can I?”
“Wouldn’t your parents miss you?” Carla was still leaning close to the screen.
Josh shrugged.
“Well, show me this ski lodge.” Josh began to pan the camera around to the house.
“Yvette in a place like that,” Grandma Carla said.
“They have twenty acres here,” Josh said.
“How much will
the girls sell it for?”
“I dunno,” Josh said.
“Has to be worth a fortune. Has the witch said anything bad about me?”
“Granny?”
“Is that what you call her?”
Josh shrugged. “That’s what Mom and Joy call her.”
“She’s not your grandmother. Not in the real sense of the word.”
“Okay.”
“You can tell me. Has she said anything nasty about me?”
“I don’t know,” Josh said. “I don’t get to hear everything.”
“Have you heard how much the place is worth? Maybe we can buy a yacht and we can all sail to Cuba next year.”
“Joy wants to buy a coffee shop in Seattle across from another coffee shop.”
“Of course she does.”
“She has a new boyfriend. He’s black. I like him.”
“Did Granny freak out? She always was a . . .” She stopped, then shook her head. “Never mind. What’s his name?”
“Harrison.”
“I’m happy for her. I hope she doesn’t hurt him.”
“He’s bigger than she is,” Josh said.
His grandmother laughed. “I meant break his heart, darling. Joy goes through men like . . .” She stopped again. “How old are you again, Joshua?”
“Fifteen.”
“Ah. Well, you’re old enough then, aren’t you?”
“I guess.”
“I would love to talk to Granny,” his grandmother said. “I bet she’d keel over this instant if you showed her my face onscreen.” Grandma Carla sat back and lit a cigarette, as if really waiting for Josh to show Granny his iPad.
Josh frowned. He really didn’t want to make Granny keel over. “I think she’s taking a nap,” he said.
Carla flicked her cigarette and shrugged. “Well, tell her I say hello at least. We can start small.”
“Sure.”
“Twenty acres, and a ski lodge. Good Lord, I never would have guessed. She married rich. Funny. She hated me for marrying her son for love.”
“I think they have to share the place,” Josh said.
“Share? Share with who?”
