by Mary Carter
“I don’t. Tomorrow I’ll try to get on his Facebook page and see what’s what.”
“Who do we call if she’s missing? The Florida police? Leavenworth?” Faith sounded panicked.
“Mark Zuckerberg?” Hope joked.
Faith laughed. “She is addicted to Facebook, isn’t she?”
“She certainly likes to be in the spotlight.”
“If she drove—she could be anywhere.”
“I think you just file a Missing Person’s report wherever you are.”
Faith frowned. “You mean file it from here?”
“It’s a start. If we need to do it in Florida they’ll probably help us with that. Let’s not go to the dark place quite so fast, all right?”
“Okay.”
“So what do you want for Christmas? A kale farm?” Faith laughed and punched Hope on the arm. “Peace,” she said. “That’s all I want. What about you?”
“A new family,” Hope said. Faith frowned at first and then laughed. It was a stressful laugh, one that gained momentum and grew in strength until Hope joined in with her. By the time they were done, tears were streaming down both their cheeks.
“Is Christmas over yet?” Faith said.
“That’s what I want for Christmas,” Hope said. “I want it to be over.”
* * *
The next morning Faith was on their mother’s Facebook page trying to reach her boyfriend, while Hope watched Joy like a hawk, waiting for any opportunity to get her alone. So far it wasn’t easy. She and Harrison were almost like a pair of slippers, always cozy and side by side. The plan for the morning was to get more decorations set up in the yard and start planning the menu for the Christmas celebration. Roger was already outside stringing lights. Hope watched him and tried to see some resemblance of the father she once knew. Had she ever seen him concentrate so intently on a string of lights? Roger didn’t drink either. Not a drop, Yvette had mentioned once. That was enough to make him a new man.
“Faith and I need to talk to you,” Hope said to Joy when the breakfast plates were cleared and Harrison had gone upstairs. Faith had to help Brittany with a sponge bath and to get dressed, but after that they were going to have her outside on the carriage, or sled, or in a wheelbarrow, Josh hadn’t quite decided, and Brittany seemed equally excited about all those choices. Stephen had gone downtown to check into an inn. He said he would stay through Christmas, but he wanted a bit of his own space. He promised he’d be back up to the house every day to be with the kids.
“I’m going outside to help,” Joy said.
“Later,” Hope said. “It’s urgent.”
Joy put her hands on her hips. “Is it about Mom?”
Hope squinted. “Why? Have you heard from her?”
“No, but I’m sure she’s fine. She probably went to Cuba after all.”
“Faith’s looking into it. Mom was definitely on her way here.”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“We have to wait for Faith.” How long did a sponge bath take?
“You just said we have to talk.”
“Right. I’m letting you know so that when Faith is finished the three of us can go somewhere and talk.”
“Good God, Nancy Grace, just tell me now.”
“You know I hate that woman,” Hope said.
“Well, you are being rather dramatic.” Joy stuck out her tongue.
“It’s about Mom, and us, and Roger,” Hope said. She couldn’t help but sneak another glance out the window. He was now setting up another mechanical Santa. She wanted to run out and leap into his arms. He was doing all this for them, working hard in the snow and cold to give them a merry Christmas. He was the best present they could ever ask for. She hoped Joy saw it that way as well.
“Roger?” Joy said. Her attention snapped to him as well, although she was hardly giving him a daughterly look. “What have you found out?”
“Please. Stay inside and we’ll tell you everything.”
“I was right, wasn’t I?”
“What now?”
“Don’t play games. Is he a con artist?” Joy sounded uber excited.
She’d probably prefer he was a con artist, Hope thought bitterly. “No, you’ve got it all wrong,” Hope said.
Joy sighed. “I’m going outside. When you’re ready you can come get me.”
“You can’t ever make anything easy, can you?”
“If by that you mean letting you control my every move, no, I can’t.”
Hope threw the dish towel down. “Don’t say we didn’t try,” she said. She stomped up the stairs as Joy fled to the mudroom.
* * *
By the time Faith and Hope were outside looking for Joy, the grounds were deserted with the exception of Yvette, who was wandering through all the Christmas decorations. “They went into town,” Yvette said when Faith and Hope approached.
“Even Joy?” Hope asked.
“It was her idea,” Yvette said.
Hope was going to kill Joy. She took off on purpose. Just to stick it to Hope for not telling her when she demanded it. My God, she was stubborn.
“How did they get there?” Faith asked.
“They borrowed your car,” Yvette said.
“It’s not borrowing if the owner is unaware of it,” Faith said.
“So? File a police report,” Yvette barked.
She was testier than she had been in a while. Hope thought about Yvette’s most recent doctor’s appointment. Help with her exit plan. She gently touched Yvette’s arm. “We really need to talk to you.”
“We’re not going to wait for Joy?” Faith said.
Hope threw up her arms. “We can’t keep putting this off.”
“Whatever it is, let’s go in the barn where it’s warmer,” Yvette said. Hope and Faith followed Yvette to the barn. Once inside they could see the electric panel where a majority of the lights were plugged in.
“I can only imagine the utility bill,” Faith said.
“Me too,” Yvette said. “Only I won’t be here to pay it.” She threw her head back and cackled. Finally Hope and Faith joined in.
Inside the barn Yvette went to a corner where bales of hay were arranged in a circle. “What’s this for?” Hope said.
“I used to be in a book club,” Yvette said. “I didn’t want a bunch of old ladies tramping through my house with their dog-eared copies of Fifty Shades of Grey.”
Yvette sat on a bale and waited as Hope and Faith did the same. The hay was scratchy to the touch but surprisingly comfortable. Hope didn’t know whether or not Yvette was kidding, but it would be fun to have a book group out here. It would also be fun to snuggle with Austin on a bale of hay. She could really see this as her forever home. It was startling. And worrisome. Her sisters might never allow it.
“What is it?” Yvette asked in a harsh voice, cutting through Hope’s daydream.
“Roger,” Faith said, emphasizing the name.
“We’ve been over this,” Yvette said.
Hope put up her hand. “Stop. We know the truth.”
Yvette laughed. “Hardly anyone knows the truth,” she said.
Hope had had enough. “He’s our father. Isn’t he?” She watched Yvette’s composure crumple.
“Please.” Yvette glanced around as if he might be hiding behind them. “Don’t tell him. Don’t tell anyone.”
Hope’s hands flew up to her mouth as she let out a little cry. “You’ve certainly lived by that rule, haven’t you?” Hope had planned on being calm, but the confirmation that he was their dad made her livid. She’d kept this from them for all these years! They thought he’d abandoned them. Or that he was dead. She showed them his grave. It was unforgivable. Wasn’t it?
“Don’t tell him?” Faith repeated.
“He doesn’t know,” Hope said. “He doesn’t know who he is.”
Faith stood and squared off with Yvette. “How dare you?”
“We had every right to know,” Hope said. “You did a horrible
, horrible thing.”
Yvette sat straighter and took a deep breath. Then she looked Faith in the eye. “He may technically be my son and your father. In the sense that he occupies the same body, has the same DNA. But that man is not Thomas. Nor does he wish to be.”
“How do you know that?” Faith said. Hope was too heartbroken to speak. Now that it was confirmed, all doubt gone, she wanted to go to him and throw her arms around him, and she wanted him to remember. She wanted her dad back. But Yvette was right. That man wasn’t the father in her memories. He wasn’t capable of apologizing or explaining. At least Faith was capable of asking questions while Hope sat and just tried to keep breathing.
“Was he the only one in the car?”
“Yes, after which he was in a coma for two months.”
“Oh my God,” Hope said.
“You rotten woman. How dare you not tell us.”
Yvette stood up. “You’re right, is that what you want to hear?”
“It’s too late,” Faith said.
“It’s never too late,” Yvette said. “I know that now.”
“You were never going to tell us,” Hope said.
“That’s not true,” Yvette said. “I was getting around to it.”
“It’s not a grocery list, for God’s sakes,” Faith said. “It’s not something you get around to. It’s something you do. Right away. Like right after it happens!”
“I can’t change the past,” Yvette said.
“Our mother was right about you,” Faith said. “All you do is put her down. But she was right about you. You don’t care about anybody but yourself.”
“Calm down,” Hope said to Faith. She suddenly felt sorry for Yvette. No matter what, she had taken care of Roger all these years. And she was dying. They didn’t need to pile on no matter how furious they were. What good would it do? Were all families like this? Pain heaped upon pain?
Yvette took a step toward the girls. “Death has a way of making you realize how foolish you are. But hear me out. He has suffered major brain damage. His intellect is probably that of a ten-year-old. When he was first back from the hospital he wouldn’t let me call him Thomas. Every time I asked him anything—he would say, ‘Roger that.’ So I started calling him Roger. I could tell he liked it.”
“You should have told us,” Faith said. “His daughters. His wife.”
“You really don’t think he remembers?” Hope said.
“I wasn’t sure. Until you girls came. You’ve seen how he acts around you.”
“So he does remember us?” Hope could hear the desperation in her voice.
“I don’t know what goes on inside his head or what he knows of the past. But he certainly still loves you. He’s been showing you that since the minute you arrived.”
Hope thought about the pinecone he’d left by her shoes just minutes after she had arrived and she wanted to cry. “Why didn’t you just tell us who he was from the beginning?”
“Because I didn’t know he was going to remember you. I wanted to see how he reacted. I was going to tell you.”
“We’ve been here almost two weeks,” Faith said.
“What are you going to do?” Yvette said.
“We’re going to go up to him, hug him, and say, ‘We’re your daughters,’ ” Faith said. “How’s that for a start?”
“Wait until after I’m gone,” Yvette said. “I don’t want to see any more pain in anyone’s eyes.”
“We’re thrilled he’s alive,” Hope said. “I wish he were a hundred percent, but if you think for a second this isn’t better than—”
“You showed us his grave,” Faith cut in.
“Roger made up that grave.”
“Roger did?” Hope said.
“He saw how agitated you were getting. He doesn’t want to be Thomas.”
“Then he must know. He can’t hide it if he doesn’t know, right?” Faith said.
“I’m not an expert,” Yvette said. “His memories may come and go. The only thing I know for sure is that if he does know who he used to be—he’s also fully aware that he’s no longer that man. And he’s deeply ashamed of that. It’s too painful to watch.”
“That’s why we have to tell him we know,” Faith said. “Tell him how much we love him.”
“But what if it backfires?” Yvette said. “He’s come so far. It would kill me to see him backslide again.”
“I’d like the name of his doctor,” Hope said. “We need more information.”
“I’ll make sure you get all the information. As long as you promise to do whatever is best for him, not whatever is best for you.”
“He’s our dad. How can it hurt to acknowledge that?” Faith argued.
“I told you. He knows enough to know he isn’t the man he once was. That he couldn’t be a father, or a husband. He knows what he’s missed out on. He chose not to reach out to you girls or your mother after the accident. He wanted you to remember him the way he was.”
“Or maybe Roger didn’t think about us at all,” Faith said. She headed for the barn door. Yvette and Hope followed.
Yvette took ahold of Faith’s arm and spun her around. She pointed at the grounds. Twinkling lights hanging from trees, mechanical reindeer and Santa, and other characters, red bows, and wreaths, and glass balls dangling from tree branches. Skates all organized, and the sound system ready to play. Firewood piled up by the fire pit. “I dare you to look at all he’s done since you’ve arrived, for you girls and you girls alone, and say that again.”
Tears came to Faith’s eyes. “I’m just so overwhelmed,” she said. “I just want to tell him we know. I just want to tell him how much we love him. How much we’ve always loved him.” Hope wrapped her arms around her sister.
“It’s going to be okay,” Hope said. “It’s all going to be okay.”
“Is it?” Faith said. “Is it really?”
“He’s here and he loves us,” Hope said. “And we’re here, and we love him.” The sound of sobbing filled the air. It startled Hope, for she hadn’t realized Faith was crying that hard. And then Faith pulled back and Hope could see it wasn’t her. They turned to find Yvette, bent over, shaking from her tears. Hope’s heart broke open. In unison they reached for her, wrapped their arms around their grandmother, held her up, and together they cried. They cried for the barren years they’d wasted. They cried for the father they’d lost in the accident. They cried for the wife whose husband never came back. They cried for the grandmother they never knew. And they cried for the man who, no matter how changed, was showing them with every fiber of his being that they still mattered. That he was still their dad, and they were still his girls.
CHAPTER 35
It wasn’t until the next day that Hope and Faith were able to kidnap Joy. A Christmas hike through the mountains did not thrill Joy, which was why Faith and Hope kept it a secret until they had already pulled into the parking lot where the trail began. Mr. Jingles was the first to dash out of the car, and since there weren’t any other cars parked in the lot, Hope simply kept his leash tucked in his bag and allowed him a bit of freedom. The snow on the ground was several feet deep, but the skies were blue and clear.
“Why are we doing this?” Joy said. “We could eat, shop, or drink instead.”
“Exercise and fresh air does wonders for the soul,” Faith said. She failed to mention that they wanted to isolate Joy in a remote mountain location before telling her that Roger was their father.
For the moment Hope was enjoying what was in front of her. She loved the smell in the air, crisp and earthy. She was looking forward to the hike—not to breaking the news to Joy—but to exerting her muscles and taking deep breaths, and communing with nature. She suddenly felt filled with the Christmas spirit, and was even thinking fondly of Yvette and looking forward to an evening Scrabble game in front of the fire. Her number-one goal was still to get their father to come inside the house. She couldn’t imagine future gatherings—holding her child up by the window so he could “meet
” the new baby.
But it was more proof that they didn’t know what they were dealing with when it came to his cognitive issues. Yvette was right. They shouldn’t make any major moves until they’d spoken with his doctor. But there was still a strong connection between them, and that was something, and for now that would have to be enough. She just prayed that Joy would see it the same way.
Mr. Jingles took off ahead of them, leading the pack. They had only just started on the path, Faith surging ahead, Hope in the middle (always!), and Joy was bringing up the rear, when she made the announcement. “I think we should see a lawyer.”
Faith stopped abruptly and Hope plowed into her. The padding from their winter coats helped soften the blow.
“What for?” Hope asked.
“Roger,” Joy said. “I think we need to find him a new home as soon as Yvette departs.”
“I thought we agreed not to discuss any of this until after the holidays,” Hope said. “And for all we know, Yvette might live for years.”
“I hope she does,” Joy said. “I like her. But I can see her getting weaker every day.”
“Me too,” Faith said softly. “She’s growing on me too.”
“So do you agree? We need to seek out a lawyer?”
“Let’s get to the top of this trail,” Faith said. “It’s healthy to be silent.”
“Is that a fancy way of telling me to shut up?” Joy said.
“Yes,” Hope said. Joy shook her head, but the pair resumed their climb without the chatter. A hawk was perched on a tree just ahead of them and the three stopped to admire it.
Mr. Jingles’s excitement grew the higher they climbed. He would run ahead and then race back as if to check on them. The snow wasn’t as deep the farther in they went, probably due to the cover of the dense tree branches above them. Patches were a bit icy, which was why they had on their best snow boots and Faith was even carrying a walking stick despite the fact that she was probably in the best shape to handle a slip. At one point Hope slipped and her body slid down a few feet. Joy grasped on to her before she could be slammed to the ground and the two slipped together, furiously trying to get traction while Mr. Jingles ran in circles around them. Finally, they reached the top. From here there was a bit of a clearing to the left and they had a bird’s-eye view to the mountains and downtown. Far below, one of the horse and carriages could be seen making its way through the center of town, and shoppers appeared in miniature, carrying their tiny, colorful bags. The three stood in silence, enjoying the scenery, the moment, the peace.
