by Amy Bellows
I grab it and hold it out in front of him. He still has his hand clamped over my mouth, so I can’t say anything, but I’m sure he can see the excitement in my eyes.
He releases my mouth.
“There’s still one more,” he says. He sounds tired.
“Sure, but you can do this.”
He glares at me. “Shut up.”
Right. Keeping my mouth closed. Instead, I massage his thighs. It’s not exactly a foot rub, but he moves with the motion of my hands, so I think he likes it.
This time as his body tightens, I stop massaging to let him focus.
“Oh my God!”
A second white egg descends, but unlike the first egg, it doesn’t travel back up when Lewis is finished pushing. It stays there, opening his rim up wide. He breathes in and out too fast, clearly panicking. I continue massaging him, and he returns to the rocking he did before. He clenches his jaw, and the muscles in his neck bulge.
“Todd! Help me! Todd!”
The second egg drops onto my stomach.
I’m glad Daniel warned me what would happen next because the moment both eggs have been laid, Lewis takes one look at them, and begins to shrink. He sprouts tiny feathers and his arms flatten to wings.
Unfortunately, I feel a desire to shift too. I don’t know if the nest is large enough for my bear form. I tuck the eggs next to Lewis, and allow myself to expand. Lewis shuffles over to give me space. To my surprise, the nest is exactly the right size for all four of us. We have to cuddle close to each other, but that feels right.
Lewis gestures both of his tiny wings toward the eggs, as if to say, “Look what I did.”
I drag my tongue along his head. It musses up his little feathers. Then I lick our eggs one-by-one. They need to smell like me. Lewis seems to think this is appropriate behavior because he titters approvingly. Once all of my family smells like me, I gather them close. Now that our eggs are with us, it’s time to rest.
Lewis lays his body on my paw and falls asleep.
24
Lewis
The day after the birth it’s customary to have family and friends over. Which is ridiculous. All I want to do is stay in my bedroom and cuddle with Todd and the eggs. It’s completely unreasonable that I’m expected to shift back into my human form and let other people touch my babies. They aren’t even hatched yet. Clearly, an alpha dreamed up this stupid tradition.
Todd has already shifted back to his human form and gotten dressed.
“It’s just for an hour, love. Don’t worry. I’ll protect the eggs.”
I poke at his hand with my beak when he tries to pick me up.
“They’re going to be here in five minutes. We’re both supposed to be in our human forms.”
I lay on top of our eggs and glare at him.
He tries to hold back a smile. “I’m sorry, it’s just you look so cute when you pout in your penguin form.”
I try to squawk at him, but it ends up being too high-pitched, and he laughs.
“I really am sorry. If you weren’t so adorable…”
There’s a knock on the door.
“Okay. I’m going to see who’s here. I’ll close the bedroom door, so you can shift and put on some clothes, okay?”
He can hint as many times as he wants, but I’m not shifting into my human form. I’m going to stay in this dark room with my eggs and give them the warmth and love they need. After Todd is done dealing with all of the pesky visitors, he can come back and snuggle with us.
There are voices outside the bedroom door.
“Oh, I was the same way. His alpha dad couldn’t get me to shift either. That’s why I came early.”
The door opens, and my omega dad walks in. I cuddle my eggs closer.
“C’mon, Lewis. I need you to shift back into your human form.”
He lifts me into the air, but unlike Todd, he holds my head in place so I can’t peck at him. Damn him. I struggle in his arms, trying to get back to my babies.
“Shift into your human form, son. There’s a reason why we do this. Otherwise, you’ll get stuck in your penguin form during the entire hatching period, and that isn’t good for the chicks. Come now. We don’t have all day.”
He’s wrong. It’s better for the babies if I can love them like this. I kick at his stomach and flail around in his arms until it’s painfully obvious that the only way I’m going to get back to my babies is if I do as he says.
I’ll just shift to my human form long enough to lock him out of the room. I try to get free one last time, then finally accept my fate and begin changing. My father releases me when I become too heavy, and I drop to the floor.
Once I’m human again, I realize why my father insisted I shift.
“They need a nest!”
Todd glances at my omega dad. “But I thought we already made a nest for them.”
“That was the laying nest,” my father explains to Todd. “This is different. Where are the blankets I told you to buy?”
He disappears out the door and returns with two soft, brown blankets. They’ll work nicely. I take them from him and twist them into a circle, wrapping them around themselves over and over again, then folding back the center to create a pocket for the eggs. My omega father helps me tuck the eggs inside the pocket, giving them each a tender kiss.
“They’re beautiful, Lewis. Their shells are a lovely white, and they’re very sturdy. You’ve done so well. I’m proud of you.”
I’m standing there naked, and I probably smell because I haven’t been bathed by anything but Todd’s bear tongue since I laid the eggs, but I’m too emotional to be self conscious. It’s such a silly thing, and yet, hearing those words from my father means the world to me. He’s right. They are so pretty and strong. Todd and I created them together, and they couldn’t be more perfect.
My father wraps his arms around me while I sob. “It’s okay, son. Cry as much as you need to. You just gave birth to two people who will completely change your life. All of the emotions you’re feeling right now are valid.
There’s another knock on the front door. Todd leaves to answer it. My father stays with me and rubs my back.
“Thank you, Dad.”
He squeezes me tighter. “I’ll always be here for you, son. Always.”
25
Todd
While Lewis showers and gets dressed I sit on an armchair in our living room with the eggs on my lap. Awkwardly, the only people who’ve showed up so far are Ansel and Daniel. They’re sitting next to each other on the couch. Daniel’s beaming from ear to ear, and Ansel’s staring at him skeptically, like he can’t understand how one person can be that happy.
“So, uh, you own a grocery store, right?” Ansel asks.
Daniel turns his head, that 100-watt smile still in full force. “Yes. Aren’t the eggs lovely? They look hearty to me. Don’t you think so? They’re going to be strong chicks, I can already tell.”
Ansel’s lips turns up on one side. He looks Daniel up and down, and if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was checking Daniel out.
Oh, for Christ’s sake. That’s the last thing we need. At least they’re both omegas and I don’t think Daniel swings that way.
I clear my throat. Ansel glances at me, and I give him my best do-not-check-out-my-father-in-law look.
He bites his lip playfully. Like a white-haired Peter Pan.
Luckily, there’s a knock on the door. Daniel bounds up to open it. Two brown-haired men surround him with hugs, then rush over to me to look at the eggs. They coo at them like they’re cubs, which feels strangely appropriate.
“Oh, Daniel, they’re perfect. Such a lovely shape and color. And two of them. Bless Lewis’s heart.”
Daniel gestures to me. “This is my son-in-law, Todd. He’s the alpha father.”
The first man bristles, but the second nods to me. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Larry and this is Bill. We’re one of Daniel’s suppliers. And friends, of course.”
Bill glares
at Larry pointedly. Bill turns his nose up at me, but still says a halted, “congratulations.”
More people come pouring in. Mostly brown-haired, as my polar bear shifter friends were a little surprised by this custom. One of my friends asked if they’d be able to see the chicks. I told her they wouldn’t hatch for another month.
“So we’re coming over to just look at the eggs?” she asked.
“Uh, yeah.”
It was clear that wasn’t appealing to her, and at the time I understood her confusion. But now that I hold the eggs in my arms, I realize what a marvel they are and I want to show them off.
Eventually, the polar bear shifters start coming in droves. Maybe they somehow communicated how incredible penguin shifter eggs are, or maybe Ansel forced them into it. We’ll never know. Either way, I’m grateful, because when Lewis walks into our living room with wet hair and a baggy pair of sweats, he sees our apartment full of people who love us. I don’t think either of us realized this was possible. We only hoped for half of this on the best of days.
I carefully stand up and give him my chair. He looks down at our eggs with a calm joy in his eyes. My sweet little penguin shifter. He’s going to be such a wonderful father.
He sits down in the chair gingerly and holds his hands out for our eggs. It’s only right that he show them to our family and friends. I hand the bundle to him.
Daniel organizes everyone into a line to see Lewis. While they wait, some polar bear shifters chat with penguin shifters. Some don’t. But they all stare in awe at our eggs.
One thing they can all agree on is that what Lewis and I created together is beautiful.
26
Lewis
A penguin shifter’s paternity leave starts when his eggs are lain. It isn’t as easy for Todd, who runs his own business, so we have to ask for help with warming the eggs sometimes. Todd suggests buying a heat lamp, but I calmly tell him that no egg of mine will be warmed by a lamp.
My father spends a lot of time with our eggs. Todd’s omega mother offers, but she seems very perplexed by the whole thing. Surprisingly, it’s Ansel who seems to enjoy egg warming the most. He cuddles under the blankets of our bed with his bear arms wrapped around the eggs. He licks them and sniffs them, much like Todd.
One night Todd and I come home from a rare dinner date to find both Ansel and my dad in our bedroom. They’re kissing. Not just a peck either. My dad is shoving his tongue in Ansel’s mouth, and Ansel is moaning.
Gross. I didn’t need to see or hear that.
Todd clears his throat loudly.
Ansel jumps, and my father pulls the egg bundle to his chest, like we’re a dangerous intruder. “Lewis! I didn’t… I’m sorry…”
Ansel jumps off the bed.
“Wait…” Todd says, as Ansel squeezes between us and bolts for the front door. Todd dashes after him.
My father’s face stays beet red for a full minute after Ansel and Todd leave. I wait for him to talk, until it becomes obvious that he isn’t going to.
“Dad, how long have you been… what is going on with…”
“He’s too young for me, isn’t he? I’m being foolish. When he first came on to me I thought he was messing with me, but after a while I…”
My dad is nearly vibrating with nervous tension. I’ve never seen him this shaken and vulnerable. After everything that happened with my alpha father, I never thought he’d let a man get under his skin like this again.
I sit down next to him. “Ansel’s a great guy. If you have some kind of relationship with him, it’s genuine. He wouldn’t mess with you.”
“You don’t think I’m too old?” he asks.
I smile. “Ansel doesn’t seem to think so.”
My father hugs the eggs tighter to his chest. I try to see him the way Ansel would. He’s still slim with a sharp jaw. He’s been buying new clothes lately and getting his hair cut more often. Is that because of Ansel?
“A man like that wouldn’t… most polar bear shifters don’t… they don’t mate for life,” He’s clearly anxious about this. I don’t blame him. Giving a polar bear shifter your heart is a risk.
“You could ask him if he’s interested in that,” I say. “You never know.”
“But how would I do that? He wouldn’t want a pebble, would he? I don’t want to screw this up.”
My dad is kind of adorable when he’s obsessing about a guy.
“You could be like, ‘Hey Ansel, I’m in love with you. Would you ever want this to be permanent? And if so, do you want a pebble?’”
He swallows hard and looks away from me. Maybe it will just take time.
“I didn’t know you were into omegas,” I say. Because we should probably talk about that at some point.
He shrugs. “After your alpha father I couldn’t… all the humans I’ve been dating have been omegas too. I don’t want to be with an alpha again.”
That makes a lot of sense.
“I think it’s great. Really.”
He gives me a tentative smile. “Yeah?”
“You deserve to be happy, Dad.”
He’s been alone for a long time.
I’m glad he’s not alone anymore.
27
Todd
I’ve never seen Ansel look sheepish or shy. I didn’t think he was capable of that. But he doesn’t say anything to me the entire elevator ride down to the main floor, or on the way to his car.
As he opens his car door, I stop him. “Ansel, I don’t mind.”
“But he’s the guy who disapproved of your bond. I’m so sorry—”
I shake my head. “He’s not like that anymore. He’s been very supportive lately.”
“Daniel’s good to me. Really good.” He leans against the car, shoving his hands into his pockets. “He shows up when he says he’s going to show up, and he does sweet things like send a delivery of blueberries to me while I’m at work because he knows how much I like them. He takes care of me. And… I want that. I know I’m a grown ass man, but it’s nice to have someone looking out for me, you know?”
I lean against the car next to him. “Yeah.”
He tilts his head and gives me a sarcastic smile. “You think I’m an idiot, don’t you? Hoping to get with a penguin shifter?”
“What are you talking about? Why would that make you an idiot?”
Ansel turns his head away from me. “Because I want what you have.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want forever with Daniel. You know, the whole pebble necklace and bonding for life thing. But… I don’t think he wants it with me, you know?”
He goes to open his car door again, but I hold out my hand. “Why do you think he doesn’t want that with you?”
Ansel shrugs. “I’m just some young omega polar bear shifter. I’m easy on the eyes, but I’m not like you, Todd. I’m not a keeper. Daniel isn’t going to want to settle down with a guy like me.”
This time I let him open the car door. I have no idea what Daniel’s intentions are. But I do know one thing.
“You’re wrong, Ansel. You are a keeper. And if you want forever with someone someday, you should go for it.”
Ansel doesn’t respond. He simply climbs inside the car, shuts the door, and starts the engine. Clearly, the conversation is over.
I knock on the window. Ansel rolls it down and glares at me. “What?”
How do I explain all of the history I have with Daniel? That I’m the one who removed his bonding necklace all those years ago? That every time he was nasty to me, I knew it was because he didn’t want his son to go through the same pain he did? That the second Daniel realized his son was pregnant with my child, he was never unkind to me again. Daniel may be jaded and bitter, but he’s also kind and he loves his son. He’s a good man.
“If you want to keep him, then get him a pebble.”
Ansel rolls his window back up and drives away.
28
Lewis
There are things you choose not to no
tice when your father has a boyfriend. Like the hickey on his neck. Or how gingerly he walks into your apartment the day after their dinner date. Or his embarrassingly obvious boner when Todd and I invite him over to watch a movie, and he sits next to Ansel.
Todd thinks it’s hilarious because he’s not related to either of them. And because he wasn’t the one to see the fogged up windows of Ansel’s car when they said they were five minutes away from our place, and we were still waiting for them thirty minutes later. He also didn’t see the rocking of the car.
I’m trying to be happy for my dad. I really am. But a little discretion would be nice. Whenever I mention this, Todd smirks. “You mean like us?”
I hate it when he’s right.
But we’re still stuck in a perpetual reliance on my father and Ansel until the eggs hatch. A full month after laying the eggs, the chicks haven’t started pecking at their shells yet. My dad said they’re a few days behind, but it isn’t anything to worry about. Of course, I’m still concerned.
As each day drags on, I listen closely for any sign of pecking. I’m exhausted by the time Todd gets home. He makes us some dinner, and brings the food to the bed where I’m snuggling with the eggs.
“It’s been three days since you’ve left the house,” he says, handing me a plate of spaghetti.
“The eggs are going to hatch any minute.”
He leans down to kiss each egg, then sits at the edge of the bed.
“You could go for a walk. I’ll text you the second I hear any pecking, okay? I’m worried about you.”
Todd doesn’t understand. I don’t want to miss any of it. Not a single peck.
We eat silently. Sometimes I wonder if Todd feels the same ache I do to see our chicks. I’ve been looking at photos of penguin shifter chicks on my phone all day. They’re so small and sweet. I want to feel their soft feathers and watch them outstretch their tiny wings.
