Thaumatology 101

by Teasdale, Niall

  ‘Fuck that!’ Ceri replied.

  ‘But, Mistress…’

  ‘No!’ Now Ceri was angry; there was no way she was letting her friend become her slave, none! ‘You stop this, Lily Carpenter. You’re not some demon I summoned to warm my bed at night, you’re my friend. You’re half human, for Christ’s sake. Get on your feet.’

  Reluctantly, Lily stood up. Ceri’s little rant seemed to have had some effect; Lily looked a little more herself, but still not happy. ‘You don’t understand, Ceri,’ she said wearily.

  ‘Then explain it to me, Lil. I’ve been trying to work things out from text books designed for wizards with full demons, and little bits of Twill’s “wisdom” when she feels like imparting it.’ She knew full well that Twill was somewhere in the room, hidden behind a spell, but if the fairy was going to hide, she could take the odd shot. ‘Give me something real to work with, huh?’

  A small smile touched Lily’s lips. ‘Always the scientist,’ she said. She pulled one of the chairs out so that she could sit down. For a second it looked as though she was going to stop and ask permission, but she managed to sit without asking. ‘Half-demon’s not like… half-Irish,’ she said. ‘A doctor tried to explain it to Mother once. Physically I’m mostly human. There are differences, obvious ones, yeah? But I’m more human than not.’ Ceri nodded. Demons did have markedly different physiology to humans, but half-succubi had all the same organs in all the same places. Aside from the odd chromosome, they were identical to humans genetically. There was just enough difference to make inter-breeding impossible.

  ‘Mentally,’ Lily said, ‘my demon side matured faster. When I hit puberty it more or less took over. That’s what caused “the incident in the gym.” Well, mostly. All those hot, sweaty girls in little shorts… When an entire girls’ school, teachers and students, ends up banging each other for five hours straight… Well, I got kicked out. I couldn’t control it. I can’t control it. Maybe someday, but not yet.’

  ‘But you’ve been living here for five years, Lil,’ Ceri said, confused. ‘You were fine…’

  ‘Because you gave me power over my demon, Ceri.’ Lily was looking down again, not meeting Ceri’s eyes, but this was shame, not submission. ‘When Carter gave you the computer, he said it was for helping me, right? He knows it wasn’t just his offer of a job and his support that got me out of the mess I was in. For the first time since I was twelve, I could have a friend instead of a potential lover. And if my succubus-side did try anything, you were a threat I could use to beat it down. I had control for once. Then you went and turned into a mage of some sort.’

  ‘Okay,’ Ceri said, ‘I read up on succubus behaviour, so I can figure the rest. Question is, what do we do now?’

  Lily sighed. ‘I think… I think if you’re not going to be my mistress I better go. Find somewhere else to live. On my own. Otherwise it’ll just start again and…’

  ‘No,’ Ceri said, shaking her head, ‘I’m not having that. You’re my friend for one thing, and on your own you’ll just end up losing yourself. No, there’s got to be another way…’ She chewed her lip, frowning in concentration. Don’t forget you have a body as well… ‘What if…’ she said, pausing and considering her words, ‘what if we kind of… part time it?’

  ‘Huh?’ Lily said, looking up.

  ‘Well, it’s all about power, right?’ Ceri explained. ‘Your demon side wants it, but it also respects it. You keep an eye on it and when you think it’s getting above its station, you let me know and I’ll go all Mistress on its arse. I’m still the threat you can use to control it, plus you learn to control it more. You gain power over your inner-succubus, and I get my friend back.’

  Lily’s lips quirked into a grin; this time it reached her eyes. ‘With the added benefits package,’ she said. Ceri giggled. Lily’s face straightened. ‘You’re really prepared to do that?’ she asked. ‘Be my mistress when you need to?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Ceri said. ‘How hard can it be?’

  ‘You’ll have to order me about,’ Lily said.

  ‘Uh-huh.’

  ‘Order me to pleasure you in all sorts of ways.’

  ‘Well that’s not exactly going to be an onerous task,’ Ceri said, grinning.

  Lily stayed quite serious, but there was a twinkle in her eye. ‘Degrade me at whim,’ she said. ‘Dress me up in sexy outfits and have me parade about the house. Or the garden!’ A little shiver went through her body.

  ‘Uh…’

  ‘Spank me! Humiliate me! Bend me over the kitchen table and…’

  ‘Okay! Okay!’ Ceri yelled, breaking into the increasingly exultant tirade. Lily giggled. ‘You’re just doing that to wind me up.’

  ‘Is it working?’ Lily asked coyly.

  ‘Well I’m considering spanking you,’ Twill said, appearing between them.

  ‘Hands off,’ Ceri said, almost managing to keep her face straight, ‘she’s my succubus.’ She grinned, and exchanged a look with Lily. It was true, she was.

  Part Three: Sorcery

  Stockwell, London, October 6th 2010

  Vassall Road was not too far from High Towers, so the Community Learning Centre there seemed like the easiest place for Ceri to gain her Public Practitioner’s Certificate. Anyone planning to make a living out of magic was required to have one; it certified that the bearer had basic competency and, most importantly, knew enough to be safe. Ceri had no plans to actually practice professionally, but a PPC made life easier if she ever had to do anything the police took an interest in, and the university required one if she was to raise circles for Cheryl. So, night school it was.

  The building was fairly modern, just the kind of place councils put up to house “adult learning” centres. Ceri walked in through the front door along with various other students, most of them far older and who seemed to know each other. She guessed they went to a lot of night classes. Well, it was something to do.

  There was a reception desk at the back of the foyer, staffed by a happy-looking middle-aged woman. Ceri stepped up, holding the pamphlet the university had given her and looking lost. ‘Um, excuse me, ma’am,’ she said, and the woman looked up, still smiling a bright smile.

  ‘Yes, dear,’ she said. ‘You look like you’re new. Which course did you want?’

  ‘I’m here for the PPC course,’ Ceri said.

  The woman’s smile faltered. ‘Oh. That. You want room two-thirteen. Up the stairs, end of the corridor.’ Her nose wrinkled slightly. ‘Away from the other classes.’

  ‘Thank you, ma’am,’ Ceri said, turning away and heading for a set of wide stairs at one end of the room. Magic had been around for over sixty years now, out in public view, but some people still did not like it much.

  Sure enough, while there were people talking and laughing in the rooms near the stairs, there was nothing further down the corridor until she got to the end where a lone door stood open with the lights on inside. There were five other people already there; a disparate bunch of would-be practitioners looking to make their fortune with their talent. There was an irritated-looking man in a business suit, a boy and a girl who looked to be about college age, a girl wearing too much black who smelled of home-brew potions, and a teenage girl. Maybe the last one had other reasons for taking the course; she seemed a little young to be doing it for professional reasons. They were scattered through the room, largely ignoring each other. Ceri picked a chair at the front and sat down, taking her tablet from her shoulder bag and proceeding to open a note-taking application.

  She felt… something and looked up at the door. A dark-skinned man with gorgeous bone structure and a thin frame, and the look of someone who found his job annoying at best, was standing in the doorway. His gaze flicked around the room, then he sucked his teeth and walked up to the front desk to dump a briefcase. The thud of it landing on the table summoned the attention of the others; except the teenager who had also noticed his entry.

  ‘Good evening,’ he said in a voice which was a little deeper than
his body suggested. His tone suggested that the last thing he really wished them was a “good” evening. ‘I’m Carl Bellamy. I’ll be your tutor for this course. If you aren’t here to gain a Public Practitioner Certificate, you’re in the wrong room.’ He paused for a second in case anyone had actually been sitting there for the wrong course. ‘No? Good. This will be five, three hour sessions followed by an exam. Assuming you don’t mess up you’ll get your certificate on the last day. Any questions?’ No one spoke and Bellamy sighed. ‘All right, let’s go ‘round the room. Who are you, why are you here?’ He pointed at the man in the suit.

  ‘Daniel Watts,’ the man said. ‘Professional wizard. I’m renewing my certificate after… an incident.’ An incident, yeah. The PPC was good for life, he would have had to have had it revoked by court order.

  ‘Uh, Jane Peters, student.’ That was the female student, of course, and next up was…

  ‘Lee Marks, I’m also a student, uh, at the Met.’

  ‘Oh, I’m at the Met too,’ Jane said, grinning. ‘Thaumaturgy and Evocation,’ she added.

  ‘Applied Wizardry,’ Lee said. He grinned too; Ceri thought she might gag.

  Bellamy coughed and they looked slightly guiltily at him, and the introductions moved on. ‘Lisa Tooley,’ said the teenager. ‘I’m an actress. The studio needs me to be certified before I can work now I’m sixteen.’

  ‘Raven Darkbride,’ said the witch in the black outfit. Ceri bit back a wince. ‘I’m a witch.’ No kidding! That seemed to be all they were getting from her. It just left Ceri.

  ‘I’m Ceridwyn Brent,’ she said. ‘I work at the Metropolitan. I need to be certificated for my job.’ The wizard and the two students recognised her name, and Bellamy narrowed his eyes slightly; he had probably read the newspaper article about the accident.

  ‘All right,’ Bellamy said, ‘we’ll be doing some practical work and evaluation tomorrow, but I’m required to start with the basic safety proficiencies, which you will be required to take a small test on before we can move on. I would therefore appreciate it if you would learn these rules by tomorrow evening since I will be required to flunk you immediately if you fail.’ His gaze fell on Raven. She looked a little uncomfortable. Not her first time here then. ‘Miss Darkbride, let’s have… three of the potion safety rules. I’m sure you remember them…’

  Raven grimaced and shifted in her seat. Ceri gave it an even chance she would be out tomorrow evening.

  Kennington, October 7th

  Ceri opened her eyes and raised her head slightly to see the clock. It was just after eight; if she got up now she would have time for a shower before work. On the other hand, fifteen more minutes in bed seemed like a really nice idea. It was warm and comfy, and Lily was cuddled up against her back.

  The half-succubus had taken to slipping quietly into Ceri’s bed at night, especially after coming home from the Dragon. She never tried anything, just cuddled up and went to sleep. It was almost childlike and the only bit of daily submission Ceri allowed. If she were honest, she liked it; it was an intimate kind of friendly act, but it felt friendly rather than erotic.

  Still, the shower would be good too. She slipped out of Lily’s embrace and out to the bathroom. The water felt good, and the peach-scented body scrub smelled nice. Lily had bought it for her the week before, and proceeded to wash her with it. She grinned as she remembered. They had actually had to do the whole “Mistress and succubus” thing once in the last week, but Lily had suggested they “practice” once or twice more. Ceri had been suspicious about that until she had had a fit of the giggles during their first try out and had realised that it was actually harder than she had thought.

  Drying off, she headed back to the bedroom and set about selecting something to wear. With a bra and knickers on, she turned to find a sleepy half-demon pouting at her. ‘I’m working,’ she said, knowing exactly what the pout was for, ‘not clubbing, and if your demon side doesn’t like it then her mistress says she can lump it.’ She went to the wardrobe and pulled out some jeans.

  ‘I like it when you dress sexy,’ Lily said. ‘I think it suits you. I think it’s more you than frumpy is.’

  ‘Frumpy?’ Ceri replied, standing up after pulling on her jeans. She took a white T-shirt from a drawer and pulled it on over her head. It was a little small for her, always had been, but it had the Metropolitan University logo on the front and it made her feel sort of patriotic.

  ‘Okay,’ Lily conceded, ‘not frumpy, and your arse looks awesome in those jeans.’

  Ceri grinned and sat on the bed to put her trainers on. ‘Suck-up,’ she chided. ‘Go back to sleep.

  Lily giggled softly and turned over. ‘Yes, Mistress.’ Ceri considered giving her a slap on the rump, but decided that would just encourage her and headed downstairs for breakfast.

  Holloway

  ‘How’s the course going?’ Cheryl asked. Her words were a little muffled due to being spoken from underneath one of the thaumic accelerators.

  Ceri considered vaguely that a woman intending to be lying on her back under a huge piece of machinery should have gone for trousers. ‘Monumentally boring?’ she replied. ‘I know basic magical safety rules are a prerequisite of the certificate, but I got pretty much all of them drummed into me by Mum and Dad when I was six!’

  ‘A refresher never hurts.’

  ‘How many people do you know who test unknown potions by tasting them?’ Ceri said, exasperated.

  ‘Live ones? None,’ came the muffled response. ‘There was a witch lived down the road from me when I was a kid who apparently used to do that. Then one day she had to be taken down by three wizards and a police special tactics squad. Could you hand me a three-quarter inch wrench?’

  ‘Oh,’ Ceri said, selecting the tool and placing it in the hand which had emerged from under the machine. ‘I guess being a practitioner and intelligence don’t always go together.’

  ‘Blenkinsop and Wallace did a paper on it,’ Cheryl commented. ‘There’s a relationship, but it’s complex. A strong will and physical health appear to be the main factors. Obviously it’s easier to learn spells if you’re brighter, but age can make up for basic intelligence there. However, you are missing a basic fact of human psychology.’

  Ceri blinked. ‘I am?’

  ‘Oh yes. Common sense has nothing to do with intelligence. If it did, there would be no such thing as a pacted wizard.’ She had a point; making pacts with demons was a quick way to power, but not exactly a safe one. Her father had called demons, but had never drawn power from them. Even then he had told her that the creatures were dangerous and capricious, not to be trusted. Thinking about that made her really wish she had read the rest of the succubus care document the first time. Lily’s demon side was certainly dangerous and capricious.

  ‘Anyway,’ Ceri said, ‘we do the basic safety exam tonight and then we get on to practical evaluation and learning “good practice,” stuff like that.’

  Cheryl hauled herself out from under the accelerator, stood up, and had to yank her skirt down. ‘Maybe I should have worn slacks,’ she said, nodding vaguely at Ceri’s jeans.

  ‘Or had me crawl around under there.’

  ‘I’ll teach you to do it,’ Cheryl said, ‘but I’ve been working on these machines for a couple of years and that one’s a bit awkward for giving demonstrations.’

  Ceri looked down and considered. Packed in on two sides by other equipment, it would have been a tight squeeze to get them both under. ‘Yeah,’ she said with a grin, ‘it would have been a bit intimate under there.’

  ‘Just a little.’ The Doctor pointed to the machine on the other side of the circle. ‘When we start work on that one, I’ll show you around its insides.’ Standing more or less alone, access to the machine would be a lot easier. Ceri nodded. ‘However, that won’t be today. Could you run this one through its diagnostic sequence?’

  Ceri nodded again and walked over to the brand new computer which had replaced the one she had been standing besid
e when the circle had breached. Tapping a key brought the screen to life, and she pulled up a console window and typed in a command. Behind her, the accelerator began to power up, a low whine signalling the starting of the cooling fans and the heating of the primary accelerator coils.

  ‘I should look at the main fans,’ Cheryl commented. ‘Sounds like the bearings may need work and now’s as good a time as any to do it.’ Ceri nodded, watching figures scrolling through the window on her screen. ‘I’m a little surprised we haven’t heard back from the Journal yet,’ Cheryl added, ‘but these things can take time.’

  It had been a month since they had submitted their paper to the Journal of Thaumatology and aside from an email saying that it had been accepted for peer review, nothing had come back. Having never had a paper out to a journal before, Ceri was not really sure what to expect, but she could tell from the tone of Cheryl’s voice that she had been expecting something faster.

  ‘It’s a high profile paper,’ Ceri said, trying to sound confident, ‘so I guess they’d take their time over checking things. They’d look like idiots if it turned out we were wrong.’

  ‘A good point,’ Cheryl replied, not sounding like she agreed with it.

  ‘I think you’re right about the fans,’ Ceri said. ‘Running about five per cent over optimum temperature.’ The fans wound down into silence as the test sequence finished.

  ‘Right,’ Cheryl said, moving toward the machine, ‘I’ll get on that then.’

  Ceri wandered over to the slab the circle had been carved into. ‘Who designed the circle?’ she asked.

  Cheryl laughed. ‘Shane did, but I don’t think even he would be stupid enough to sabotage that.’

  Ceri was walking slowly around the outer circle. ‘No,’ she agreed, ‘it’s solid, but I might be able to make it a little more solid.’

  ‘If you think you can do something with it, be my guest.’