Shane reached across the table and placed his hand on top of hers, initiating the physical contact he’d longed for from the moment she had returned to the patio. The feel of her skin sent a warm surge up his arm and through his body that confirmed what he already knew. He wanted much more of her—he wanted all of her. But he knew before anything else could happen that he needed to repair the damage he’d done when he’d left her.
So for now he contented himself with providing the emotional comfort and support she obviously needed. “It’s important for you to allow the anger to come out so you can move on to the next step, and finally to acceptance, where you can achieve closure.”
“I suppose so.” She looked up at him. Her voice almost pleaded for some type of enlightenment, some glimmer of comprehension about what had caused such a change in her father’s lifestyle. “Even if there is a logical reason for his not telling me about his health, I still don’t understand why he chose to live in such appalling conditions when he could certainly afford much better. And even if he couldn’t afford it, he could have come to live with me. I would have willingly helped him. I...”
A sob caught in her throat and a single tear trickled down her cheek. The rest of her sentence came out as a barely audible whisper. “If only I’d known.”
She swallowed and took a steadying breath, bringing some control to her scattered emotions. “I shouldn’t have said those things in front of Bobby.” Intellectually she knew Shane was correct. Her anger was neither misplaced nor wrong, but that knowledge didn’t negate her feelings of guilt about the spontaneous outburst. “He’s too young to understand.” Her voice dropped to a soft whisper, conveying her very real concerns. “I’m not even sure he really comprehends that his grandfather died.”
Shane took a sip of his wine as he formulated his question. “Did Bobby know his grandfather very well?” He wasn’t sure where it would take him. “Has Bobby always lived in Chicago?”
“Uh...yes.” She, too, took another sip of her wine, to give herself time to collect her thoughts. “As I said, my father always came to my house for Christmas.”
Shane gave a soft chuckle, partially forced, in an effort to appear casual in his conversation. “That seems a little backward. People usually take leave of the cold climates such as Chicago and spend the winter in places like southern Arizona or Florida.”
“He visited us just two months ago. I was surprised when he called and said he was coming. He seemed fine then—” another sob caught in her throat “—but obviously he wasn’t. He must have known his time was limited.” She looked up at Shane, capturing his gaze and holding it. “I...I don’t understand why he kept it from me.”
Shane gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “He probably didn’t want to worry you. He thought you had enough to take care of without any added concerns.”
She took a calming breath as she slowly withdrew her hand from the comfort of his touch. She wanted to change the subject, not so much because of his intimate gesture but rather her need to move away from the emotional circumstances of her father’s death coupled with the entirely different pull of Shane’s presence. “Well...you said you had something you wanted to talk to me about. What is it?”
He paused a moment as he adjusted to her change of topic. “Uh...yes. You said you’d be looking for a job as soon as you had your father’s estate settled. I thought I might be able to help you. What kind of job are you looking for?”
Surprise crossed her face, almost as if she thought he must be kidding. “I’m an attorney, of course. If you recall, that’s what I was going for when we—” She caught herself. She did not want to discuss the past with him, at least, not that specific event. “I’ve been practicing corporate law in Chicago ever since I finished law school.”
He couldn’t hide his surprise. “You’re an attorney? I didn’t know you’d completed your law degree.” His voice softened almost to a whisper, as if he didn’t want anyone to hear what he was saying. “When you disappeared—”
She cut off his words, a harsh edge clinging to her response. “I didn’t disappear. You make it sound as if I just up and left one day for no reason.” She quickly resumed what she’d been saying. She didn’t want to give Shane a chance to bring up the past again. “I transferred to Phoenix and finished my classes there. I passed the Arizona bar exam, then was offered a position with a company in Chicago. I took the Illinois bar exam and moved to Chicago.”
“Is that what you’re going to look for here? You’d probably have better luck seeking out a corporate-attorney position in Tucson. It’s only twenty-five miles away, and the commute is easy—it’s a four-lane divided road.”
“That’s not really what I want to do. It’s...well, it’s part of why I wanted to move back to Pueblo.” She shifted in the chair, seeking a more comfortable position as she warmed to the subject.
“I’d grown very dissatisfied with the corporate world—with the underhand dealings, the deception and the scramble to see how many people you can step on while clawing your way up the ladder to the top. I want to be able to apply my education and experience in a manner that will make a difference for the community. I have a son to raise, and I don’t want him growing up believing that scrambling for power is what life’s all about. I want to be able to show Bobby by example, rather than just telling him.”
“Really?” Shane sat upright, showing a keen interest in what she was saying.
“I also wanted a safer place for Bobby, something away from the impersonal atmosphere of the big city but still close enough to a large urban area to be able to take advantage of the cultural and educational opportunities. As soon as we’re settled in our own house, I’m going to take Bobby to Tucson to see the Desert Museum.”
“It’s a marvelous experience. He’ll enjoy it.” Shane ran his fingers lightly across her cheek. The tingle in his fingertips caused a quick intake of breath and made his heart beat a little faster.
“Everyone needs a day off occasionally to do something just for fun. The change of pace will be good for you, too. Maybe...” Was he about to get himself in deeper than he was ready to handle? “Maybe if I can free up my schedule, I could go with you.” A little flicker of hope burned inside him. “We could make it an all-day outing—just the three of us.”
Just the three of us. His words grabbed hold of Cynthia’s senses and squeezed until she had to fight to keep from crying out in frustration. It was a very appealing picture, but one that could never be. No man had ever touched her soul and heated her desire the way Shane Fortune had—and still did. But facts were facts. She had been taken in before by his charm and persuasive manner and could not allow it to happen again. She could not risk what was best for her son on a momentary desire fueled by a past love. The stakes were too high.
Her gaze darted uneasily around the patio without resting on anything. What had begun to settle into a reasonably comfortable exchange had been jerked back into uncertainty and fear. She carefully chose her response, not wanting to show any adverse reaction to his words. “First I have to get everything settled, including finding a house for Bobby and me—” she chuckled nervously “—before we wear out our welcome here.”
Shane leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, and cupped her chin in his hand. “As I said earlier, you’re more than welcome to stay as long as you need—or like.”
The sensual warmth ran from the point where his fingers made contact with her skin across her face, then through her body. It was an intimate gesture that conveyed the type of closeness that had been missing from her life for the past six years. Her heart leapt and her pulse instantly shot up. A light-headedness came over her, almost a sensation of euphoria. She reveled briefly in the pleasure of the moment before forcing herself away from his seductive touch.
She knew it would take very little effort on his part to totally captivate her. It would be so easy for him. Her vulnerability pushed at her senses, telling her to get away. He placed his hand on top of hers
, the movement so subtle and his touch so light that it took a second before she realized what he had done.
His soft voice carried a seductive quality that cut straight through her facade and settled over her desires. “It’s interesting, your moving back to Pueblo with the desire to do something to give back to the community.”
His words touched her, as well as filled her with anxiety. The young man she’d fallen in love with back then had matured into a man of substance and integrity. Despite all her good intentions to steel herself against his magnetic pull, the magic of Shane Fortune had managed to work its way inside her—and it frightened her.
His voice created as much of a sensual feel as his fingers moving lightly across the back of her hand. All her instincts warned her that she was being lulled into a state of warm intimacy, yet she was helpless to prevent it. “I’ve tried to do that myself in various ways, too.”
“Yes, so I’ve observed. Your children’s hospital project is quite an impressive undertaking, and from what I’ve seen on the news, you’re the driving force behind it.”
“There are several of us involved in the hospital project, not just me. Since our family donated the land and Fortune Construction is building it, I seem to garner most of the press attention.”
Cynthia’s pulse raced, leaving her short of breath. The emotional pull of the moment was beginning to take its toll on her. She wanted to indulge the surprisingly comfortable feeling that had settled over her, a sensation of soft warmth combined with a tingle of excitement that only Shane Fortune could produce. She shook off the inappropriate desires. She didn’t dare let down her guard.
Tactfully working her hand out of his grasp on the pretext of looking at her watch, she tried to sound casual yet matter-of-fact in her attitude—a far cry from the conflicting emotions churning inside her. “It’s getting late and I’ve had an exhausting day. I think I’ll turn in.”
He reclaimed her hand. “It’s not that late.” He offered her an encouraging smile. “We haven’t even finished our glass of wine. At least keep me company that much longer, okay?”
“I...” She knew what she should do, but she also knew what she wanted to do. Her desires gained the upper hand. Her words might have been hesitant, but she said them, anyway. “Well, maybe for a little while.”
They remained on the patio for another three hours talking about their careers and their plans for the future. She was willing to talk about her time in Chicago and her job as a corporate attorney, but she concentrated her conversation on what she wanted for the future. She avoided all but the vaguest generalities about Bobby. It was a time that had all the outward appearances of two people spending a comfortable evening getting reacquainted. But underneath ran a level of tension that kept each of them slightly on edge.
Cynthia tried to relax, but anxiety continued to drive her behavior. The warm familiarity of their conversation almost lulled her into a feeling of security and acceptance, but when Shane made a comment about Bobby, her panic leapt to the surface. She could no longer sit at the table as if nothing was wrong.
Rising from her chair, she pretended to stifle a yawn. “I really do need to get some sleep.”
Shane collected the empty wineglasses and the bottle. “Let me get rid of these, and I’ll walk upstairs with you.” Something was wrong, but he couldn’t figure out what. She kept vacillating between standoffish and amiable. One moment they were talking companionably and the next her guard was up. He carried everything to the kitchen, then hurried to catch up with her.
They silently climbed the stairs together. When they arrived at her bedroom, he grasped her hand before she could disappear behind a closed door. With his other hand he lightly touched her cheek, then tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear.
“Thank you for sharing a glass of wine with me. I enjoyed the opportunity to spend this time with you.”
His voice and words once again settled over her like a soft caress. Cynthia’s anxiety level increased in direct proportion to her quickening heartbeat, leaving her confused and unsettled. “Thank you.”
He leaned in close to her as he continued to clasp her hand. In fact, he was too close. She wanted to move away, but her back was already against the doorjamb. Then came the precise moment she both desired and feared—he lowered his mouth to hers. He brushed her lips with his as if testing to see what she would allow, then pulled her into an embrace. A moment later his mouth fully covered hers.
She hesitated. The best thing for her to do was pull away from him. She needed to put a stop to what was happening before it got totally out of control. That’s what she should do, but it was not where her desires led her. Her determination and her resolve melted away, draining her of any hope that she might be able to resist his advances. She ignored everything except the pull of his magnetism while slipping her arms around his neck.
All the heat, all the fire and all the passion that had ever existed between them exploded in an incendiary flash. She had missed him even more than she’d allowed herself to believe—his touch, his embrace and the ecstasy of his kiss. She fought her feelings, however, for she desperately needed to bring some sort of sense and logic to what was happening. Full-blown panic set in, enabling her to finally break off the kiss. Her words were half breathless delight and half mounting fear. “No...don’t...”
A very shaken Cynthia hurried into her bedroom and closed the door. She leaned back against it and tried to gulp in a calming breath. It did nothing to soothe the excitement coursing through her veins or alleviate her fears about what had just happened. She touched her trembling fingers to her lips. She could still feel the burning passion that conveyed the essence of Shane Fortune, an ardor that infused her with a hunger mere food could never satisfy.
A soft knock on the door jarred her out of her thoughts, followed by the sound of Shane calling her name. She didn’t dare answer. She knew she did not possess the emotional strength to resist his advances a second time, regardless of how sincere her intentions. A sigh of relief escaped her lips when she heard him walk down the hall.
Shane went directly to his bedroom. He’d felt the fire and tasted the earthiness of her kiss when she’d slipped her arms around his neck. There was no doubt that the old spark still existed between them. But as quickly as it had ignited he found himself staring at a closed door. If she had been someone new in his life, he would be better equipped to deal with it, to know what to say and what to do. But that wasn’t the case. They shared an intense history, and he’d ended up hurting her badly, something that had come back to haunt him now more than ever.
Five
Cynthia stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, not at all happy with the reflection that stared back. She had spent a miserable night torn between two extremes. On one side was the heated desire Shane’s kiss had sparked and the memories of a love that she had thought would last forever. On the other side was a very unsettling confusion that enveloped her in layers of guilt and anxiety.
Every word she spoke, everything she did, indeed, the very core of her thoughts, all culminated in Shane Fortune and their unexpected involvement after all these years. She had everything under control, had carefully established the parameters of a keep your distance situation—until last night.
When she let him kiss her and, worse yet, returned that kiss, she betrayed everything she’d fought so hard to establish. She had allowed Shane Fortune back into her life on an emotional level. He had to be made to understand it was only one isolated incident. It did not open the door to anything more, not now and not ever.
Bobby was her priority. She had to figure out what was best for her son. Shane had offered no apologies for the past, not even an explanation. All his good work for the community did not erase that fact. He seemed to want to renew their physical relationship, but had shown no interest in repairing their emotional one. As much as Shane’s touch excited every corner of her existence, she could not subject Bobby to the same type of seemingly arbitrary treatme
nt as she had experienced.
As much as she wanted to stay in her bedroom until after Shane left for work, she needed to get downstairs quickly. She didn’t dare take a chance on a repeat of the other morning when Bobby and Shane had had all that time together—time in which Shane could question the boy about his father. She had to make sure Shane understood that last night’s kiss would never lead anywhere. It was a mistake, nothing more. A veil of sorrow descended over her. If only she really believed that herself.
She forced a calm to the inner turmoil that continued to plague her, then went downstairs to face what the day had to offer.
“Good morning.” Shane extended a pleasant smile when she entered the kitchen, but his eyes sent a different message. They conveyed uneasiness, and seemed to be searching inside her. A shiver darted across the back of her neck. She wasn’t sure what he was searching for, but it made her uncomfortable.
She forced an outer show of confidence. “Good morning.” She glanced around the kitchen. “Is Bobby here?”
“I haven’t seen him. I assumed he was still sleeping.” Shane reached for the coffeepot. “May I pour you a cup?”
She didn’t answer. “Before he comes downstairs...” she said, then took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. But the anxiety refused to go away. It jittered through her body at an alarming rate. “There’s something we need to get straight. About last night...the, uh...” She nervously cleared her throat as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “Well, it never should have happened.”
He set the coffeepot on the counter and gave her a questioning look. “The kiss? And just why do you think it shouldn’t have happened?”
He looked so desirable, so damned sexy. A tingling sensation reverberated through her body. To calm her racing pulse and pounding heart, she had to avert her gaze. “We’ve traveled that road before, and for whatever reason—” a moment of despair jabbed her as the painful memory filtered through the wall of her determination “—it didn’t work out. There’s no use repeating history.” She turned away from him as she glanced toward the stairs. “I have business to take care of and a son to raise. I don’t need any more complications in my life than I already have.”
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