Fortune's Secret Child

by Delacorte, Shawna

  “Can we?” Bobby’s face brightened at the prospect.

  “You bet we can.” Shane started down the stairs with Bobby beside him. “Do you like to play ball? I have an old baseball. Would you like to go out in the yard and play catch until dinner is ready?”

  “Yeah!” A big grin spread across the boy’s face as he raced down the stairs ahead of Shane.

  After a quick detour through the utility room to get the ball out of a storage closet, Shane joined Bobby in the yard. “You ready? Here it comes.” Not sure of the little boy’s skills, he tossed the ball gently. Bobby caught it at first, then dropped it. He quickly scooped it up and threw it back to Shane, who had to stretch to get the wild throw before it hit the side of the house.

  Cynthia watched them from the kitchen window—a father and son playing ball in the yard, laughing and having fun. What could be more perfect? A sharp pang of guilt shot through her, followed closely by a deep sorrow that brought tears to her eyes again. An important factor missing from Bobby’s life—something that had been a concern for Cynthia—was someone for him to do guy stuff with, an adult male presence who could teach him things she couldn’t. She had been both mother and father to Bobby, but she could only do so much. There were times when a boy needed a man.

  She finished making dinner, then called to Bobby to wash his hands and come to the table. A moment later Shane stepped into the kitchen and held out his hands. A teasing grin played around the corners of his mouth.

  “My hands are clean. Is it okay if I have dinner, too?”

  Cynthia shot him a withering look. Her words were laced with sarcasm. “Cute. Real cute.”

  Bobby ran into the kitchen and took his place at the table. He stared at the food in front of him. “Shane says we can still have pizza, just not tonight.”

  She glanced at Shane but was surprised to find him paying attention to Bobby, rather than taunting her with this latest attempt to win Bobby over...if that was what he was doing.

  Dinner turned into a disturbing time for Cynthia. Shane appeared to be enjoying himself, and she could see the excitement bubbling out of her son. Once again she presented an upbeat facade, but inside was an entirely different story. It tore at her heart and played to her worst fear to see Bobby becoming so attached to Shane. And she had to admit that Shane seemed genuinely fond of Bobby, too. Did she dare to hope that he would be able to accept her son—their son—without trying to take him away?

  Following dinner, she wanted to spend some time with Bobby, quality time, where they would share the events of the day and usually read a book together. Even though he would not be starting first grade until the fall, he could already read from the second-grade reading books and had mastered the basics of simple arithmetic. But all Bobby wanted to talk about was how much fun he’d had with Shane, how Shane taught him to swim underwater, how Shane played catch with him. It was not the type of quality time Cynthia had hoped for.

  After finally getting Bobby to bed, she wandered out to the patio to enjoy the pleasant night air. Sitting at the table, Cynthia turned everything over in her mind. She had not been this confused and uncertain about things since Shane had terminated their relationship two weeks before she’d discovered she was pregnant. She stared at the shimmering water of the pool without really seeing it as the emotional tidal wave washed over her. A sob caught in her throat and a tremor shuddered its way through her body. Six years of separation had not gotten Shane Fortune out of her system. How could she ever hope to accomplish that now that he was back in her life?

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  Cynthia jumped at the sound of Shane’s voice. “Uh...it’s been a bit of a hectic day, that’s all. I was just putting together in my mind what I needed to do in Phoenix.”

  “Mind if I join you?”

  “It’s your house.” Her comment was uttered without expression.

  He seated himself next to her, perhaps too close. “Did you get all your business in Tucson taken care of? Did everything go okay?”

  “Yes, I think I’m closing in on the final leg of this mess. After I take care of the Phoenix business, I should have everything wrapped up in another couple of days. Then I can...” Her voice trailed off when she turned to look at him. The soft light played across his handsome features, evoking memories of a time when she believed she and Shane would be together forever.

  A deep sorrow swept over her as the sadness lodged inside her. How could she possibly still love him after everything that had happened? Her throat tightened. She averted her gaze and swallowed to break the dryness. “Uh...then I can concentrate on finding a place to live, so Bobby and I can get out of your hair and on with our lives. I’m sure you’ll be glad to get your life back to normal.”

  “Quite the contrary. I’m enjoying having you and Bobby here.” He ran his fingertips lightly across the back of her hand, reveling in the softness of her skin and the tingle of excitement caused from just touching her. He covered her hand with his and dropped his voice to a low intimate level. “You and Bobby are welcome to stay as long as you want.”

  Her despair, her confusion, her anguish, her trepidation, her unrequited love—all her conflicting emotions exploded inside her. She couldn’t keep them bottled up any longer. She jerked her hand away from his, shoved her chair back and jumped to her feet. She leveled a harsh look at him while trying to keep her real concerns and fears out of her voice. “I don’t know what’s going on here or what you’re trying to do with this solicitous act of yours and all the special attention to Bobby. Just what is it you’re trying to prove? What’s all this about?”

  “Trying to prove?” Her abrupt change of attitude caught Shane by surprise. “I’m not trying to prove anything.” It wasn’t much of an answer, but it was the best he could come up with. He wasn’t sure himself exactly what his motives were. He did know his thoughts and feelings about her were creating a monumental internal upheaval for him. Every time he saw her, his feelings deepened. But he had other priorities in his life—a life that didn’t seem to have room for anyone else, regardless of his personal feelings. But it was a life that left him alone and lonely in the darkest hours of the night.

  And then there was Bobby. He was a great little boy, one any man would be proud to call son—but what about his father? Shane recalled Cynthia’s words about the difficulty of raising a child by herself and Bobby’s comment about his father leaving before he was born. Yet the other thought about Bobby persisted—the one that had finally begun to take a definitive shape. As totally implausible as it sounded, could it be possible that he was Bobby’s father? Their last few weeks together had been filled with the most intense passion he had ever experienced. It was almost as if he had been determined to store up enough of Cynthia McCree to last a lifetime. Another moment of sadness invaded his thoughts. He hadn’t realized just how long that lifetime would be.

  The boy appeared to be the age where he could have been conceived either right before he and Cynthia separated or immediately after. Every time he tried to talk to Cynthia about Bobby, he’d come up against an icy wall of resistance and a flat refusal to discuss Bobby in any detail. And if Bobby was his son... His thoughts trailed off. Surely Cynthia would have told him if she was pregnant with his child. Or would she? Had he hurt her so badly that she would have kept something this important to herself. He didn’t know what to think or how to deal with that possibility, so he shoved it aside and returned his thoughts to Cynthia. He met the same icy wall when he kissed her, but not until after the heat and sensuality of her response told him the fire of passion still lived inside her—just as it did in him.

  He touched her hair, then caressed her cheek. The feel of her skin sent a sensual warmth flowing through his body. His heartbeat quickened as he drank in her beauty. His words came out in a whisper and were the last thing he should have said at that moment and under those circumstances. “You make me breathe hard just looking at you.”

  She stepped away from his touch. He
r terse response knocked him out of his moment of reverie. “Our problem was never in the bedroom.” She furrowed her brow as she reflected on her words, her voice dropping to a near whisper. “At least I didn’t think it was.”

  In a flash all the pain and hostility came flooding back. She leveled a hard look at him and blurted out her repressed anger. “But then, you never did me the courtesy of mentioning exactly what the problem was. You simply announced you didn’t have any room in your life for me and walked out the door without once looking back.”

  Her irate words startled him. Again he spoke without thinking, as he tried to calm the pent-up emotions she’d hurled at him. “Maybe we could go back to where we left off and pick up the pieces.” He knew as soon as he said it that he shouldn’t have. It was the second time he’d blurted out the wrong thing.

  She bristled. “Where we left off was with you walking out on me—not even a goodbye, let alone an explanation.”

  All the pain and humiliation of that horrible night flooded through her until there wasn’t room for anything else. It ripped away softer thoughts of love and closeness and family. It had been the lowest point of her life, one she had tried for six years without success to bury in a place where it couldn’t hurt her anymore.

  She had to get away from him, from the memories and the shattered dreams—from a tempting nearness that she knew could easily be her downfall again. She turned and started to walk away from him, but broke into a run as she hurried through the den and up the stairs to her bedroom, shaken to the core by his comments and the stinging rush of raw emotion they produced.

  Her inner turmoil ripped her apart. She wanted to be with Shane as much as she was afraid of what could happen. Agreeing to stay in his house had been a very bad idea. She needed to get out, to get away from him before it was too late. Her fear and trepidation broke out of the place where she had been trying so hard to contain it and came out in a rush of convulsive sobs.

  Shane had remained motionless following Cynthia’s abrupt departure from the patio. He was profoundly disturbed by the display of hurt her outburst had revealed. The worst part was knowing he was responsible for it. All these years it had bothered him, and now he’d come face-to-face with the full impact of the consequences of his selfish and callous actions.

  He still didn’t know how she would fit into his world, but he had finally been pushed into the realization that he didn’t have a life without her. The dynamic, in-charge Shane Fortune found himself at a complete loss about what to do. He finally rose from his chair and went inside, closing and locking the door behind him. He turned out the lights and made his way through the dark house and up the stairs.

  Her sobs grabbed his attention as he passed her door. The sound ripped at his heart. He had to do something, but he didn’t know exactly what. He hesitated a moment, then knocked softly on her door. When he didn’t receive an answer, he cautiously entered the room.

  An overwhelming sense of guilt and sorrow twisted his insides into knots the moment he saw her tearstained face and the pain in her eyes. He rushed across the room. “Cynthia... “ He sat on the edge of her bed, put his arms around her and tried to pull her body against his. He wanted to provide her with some sort of comfort. He needed to provide her with some sort of comfort.

  “Go away.” The angry words came out between sobs as she struggled against his hold. “Just leave me alone.”

  “No.” He refused to release her, holding her body even tighter against his. “I’m not going to leave you like this.” He cradled her head against his shoulder and stroked her hair while rocking her in his arms. His anxiety level skyrocketed as he took on her emotional tumult in an effort to lessen her load. She finally stopped struggling and gradually succumbed to his insistent embrace. He placed a tender kiss on her forehead while continuing to hold her.

  His emotion-laden words came out as a mere whisper. “I’m so sorry, Cynthia. I never meant to hurt you like this. It was such a difficult time for me. My life was in turmoil.” He wasn’t sure exactly where he was going with this, but he wanted to try to explain to her, to make her understand what had happened. And he wanted to seek her forgiveness.

  “I knew what I wanted as a career. I’d always wanted to be a doctor, but beyond that I didn’t have a clue. I didn’t know where or how I fit into the scheme of things. Was I a Fortune or a Lightfoot? Which world was mine? Which culture was mine? I had a lot of anger and confusion in those days, and I wrongly took my frustrations out on you. I didn’t understand how you could possibly be a part of my world when I didn’t know what that world was or how I fit into it.”

  He kissed her forehead again. “For six years I’ve regretted what I said and what I did, and I’ve lived with the guilt and sorrow ever since then. I never meant to hurt you like this. I thought I was saving you from future hurt. Can you ever forgive me for what I did?”

  Shane placed his fingertips beneath her chin and lifted her head until he could see her face. He kissed the tears away, tasting the saltiness. He lowered his mouth to hers, taking control before she had an opportunity to stop him.

  The passion exploded the moment his lips touched hers. Cynthia heard his words and wanted to believe them, but did not know if she could trust them—or him. She was treading on thin ice. She needed to distance herself from him, but her willpower slipped away too quickly for her to keep hold of it. Almost as if someone else had control of her actions, she wrapped her arms around his neck and responded to his kiss.

  His mouth demanded and she gave. Every bit of rapture that had ever been part of their past came rushing back at her full force. Once again she found herself enfolded in the security of Shane Fortune’s arms, and she felt safe and happy.

  Then reality set in.

  “Please...leave.” Her words may have had a breathless quality to them, but it was the result of fear, rather than physical arousal.

  Shane hesitated a moment, not sure whether to continue his insistence that he stay or bow to her wishes. The sensual response of her kiss told him one thing, but the fear in her eyes and the pleading in her voice told him something quite different. He brushed a light kiss across her lips, rose to his feet and cast one last look of longing in her direction. The physical longing quickly combined with an emotional concern that surrounded his words with sincerity. “Are you going to be all right?”

  She nodded without saying anything.

  “If you need anything...I’m just down the hall.” Shane turned and left the room, even though he wasn’t at all convinced he was doing the right thing.

  Seven

  “Is something wrong?” Cynthia was puzzled when she opened the front door and saw Isabelle’s wrinkled brow. “You look worried. If you have some personal business to tend to, please let me know. I can certainly postpone my trip to Phoenix until another day.”

  “Oh, no, it’s nothing like that. I was just wondering...” Isabelle nervously shifted her weight from one foot to the other. She glanced at the floor before looking up at Cynthia again. “Well, do you have a few minutes to help me with a couple of decisions about the wedding? I’d sure appreciate your input.”

  Cynthia smiled. “Of course. After you were so gracious to agree to watch Bobby for me, I’m pleased that I can return the favor.” The two women settled themselves comfortably on the couch in the den. “Now, what can I do to help?” She attempted to put the obviously apprehensive young woman at ease. “Having never been married, I’m not sure how much help I’ll be. But I’ll give it my best shot.”

  “It’s, uh...” Isabelle glanced uneasily at the floor again, rather than maintain eye contact.

  Cynthia shifted her position on the couch as she realized the seriousness of Isabelle’s as-yet-unspoken concerns. Whatever was on Isabelle’s mind was obviously more than a simple matter of bridal etiquette, but she seemed reluctant to say what it was.

  “I assure you, Isabelle, that anything you say to me will be kept in strictest confidence.”

  “Well...
I can’t discuss this with my family, and I didn’t know who else to turn to. I thought maybe, as someone who isn’t involved in all this, you might have an unbiased perspective.”

  “I’ll do my best. What’s troubling you?”

  “It’s, well...” Then Isabelle blurted out the words as if she were thankful just to be rid of them. “It’s just everything. It’s the wedding, the marriage—but mostly it’s Brad.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “I guess so...”

  “You guess so?” Cynthia arched an eyebrow and cocked her head. “Aren’t you sure?” She fixed Isabelle with a steady gaze. “Marriage is a big step and shouldn’t be entered into unless you’re really sure it’s right. Are you having second thoughts about the wedding, or is it Brad that’s causing you concern?”

  “It’s sort of all of it. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m just getting cold feet about the wedding, that I’m just not ready for marriage. The truth is, it’s not the wedding I’m concerned about—it’s marrying Brad Rowan that worries me.”

  “What do you think caused this change of heart?”

  Isabelle scrunched up her face. “I’m not sure. I can’t put my finger on exactly why the doubts happened or when they began. There are things going on that I don’t know about—suspicious things, secrets that he’s keeping from me. I ask and he denies. He says all the right things, but something is wrong. I can feel it as surely as I can feel the sun on my face when I walk outside, but I don’t know what to do about it. The wedding plans are already so far along that it would be next to impossible to change the date. And to cancel it altogether...well, lots of people would be upset.”

  Cynthia digested Isabelle’s words. This was far removed from what she’d anticipated. She carefully formulated her response. “If you have questions and doubts now, they won’t simply go away by themselves with the passage of time. They’ll grow until they become so huge that they bury you and the marriage. The doubts must be dealt with up front. It’s your life and your future that’s at stake. You can’t allow the wishes and plans of other people to control your decision in something this important, something that will impact the rest of your life. You have to do what’s best for you and not worry about whether someone will approve of your actions or someone else will be inconvenienced. I know that’s very difficult to do, especially where family is concerned.”