by V. Vaughn
“Teaching the kids to swim.”
I don’t want to upset my children, so I lower my voice and try to make it as calm as possible. “As bear?”
“Yes. And they’re naturals.” He offers me a tentative smile.
I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly as I do my best to calm down. I can’t even fathom why he thinks this is a good idea. “It’s one thing to let them shift naturally, but to encourage it? And why do you think such an important event should happen without me? Don’t you think I should have been here?”
“No.” Marcel scowls as his eyes get hard with his anger. “I don’t. Do you want me around when you’re teaching the kids about magic?”
I take a moment to consider his words. Damn it. He’s got a point. Marcel would only be in the way since I’d be teaching them to do things he can’t. But I’m still spitting mad that I wasn’t even consulted, especially since I would have told him no. I say, “Fine. I’ll give you that. But we should have discussed this first.”
“We did. Kimi told us to accept what’s happening, and since our kids are shifting left and right, I thought it was time they understood why.”
“Two times, Marcel!” I catch myself when I realize that my twins in bear form are both watching with wide eyes. I let out a huff and turn away as I try once again to control my anger. I can’t even wrap my brain around how he’s explaining this to them, but I know that I’m too upset to have a rational conversation about it, and I don’t think it’s appropriate to do in front of the kids. I turn back to face them again and force out the most normal voice I can. “Don’t worry, guys. Mommy’s fine.” I look at Marcel. “What’s done is done, but we need to discuss how this is going to be going forward.”
He nods, but I see his bear in his eyes and know he’s mad too. I flash to a vision of Marcel shifting into a bear in front of the kids, and I realize I’m about to lose it. I push the thought away and look at my children with the hope they can help me stay in control. My god, they’re adorable as little bear cubs. They’re roly-poly little beings with fur that looks silky soft. And the little grunts they’re making give me cuteness overload. I step onto the small beach and take off my shoes. “Hey, guys. Are you having fun?” I ask, even though I know they can’t answer.
I step out into the water. And the smaller of the two, who I assume is Ava, comes up to me. She wraps her legs around me like a koala, and I squat down to scoop her up. Wet fur soaks my shirt as she licks my face with her tongue. I chuckle because it tickles.
Marcel says, “Bear kisses.”
I nod. Marcel doesn’t spend a lot of time in bear form around me, and there’s so much I don’t know. I nuzzle into Ava’s fur, and suddenly, my heart hurts as if it’s being squeezed in a fist, because I can’t teach my children about being bear. I realize I’m not really upset that Marcel is training them to be bear. It’s that I can’t. My twins are going to grow up with a mother who doesn’t truly understand a very important side of who they are. They should be with one who is a werebear.
Another thought sends ice through my veins, because even though I thought I was okay with trusting in the love Marcel and I have, I’m not. Because our love isn’t enough for my children. Marrying Marcel may have been a huge mistake.
9
Once I got back from seeing Marcel and the kids at the river, my sadness turned back to anger again. The pages of my spell book rustle as I flip through them, searching for something that can suppress my twins’ shifting. While Marcel is out there teaching them god knows what about being werebear, I think he’s making it so my kids will shift more. And while I know it’s probably a good thing considering that is who they are, we still have a big problem on our hands. My children can’t shift in public, and I have to find a way to stop them. My husband may think two is old enough for our kids to understand what they are, but I’m darn sure Ava and Adam can’t comprehend why they occasionally have to suppress it, let alone when they should.
“Damn it,” I mumble as I scan the page I was looking for. Unfortunately, getting rid of rodents in your house isn’t quite the same as suppressing a werebear’s animal side. I move on to love spells and search for one that deals with broken hearts with the hope I can bury their desire to shift instead.
I stomp my foot in frustration. I didn’t sign up for this. When Marcel and I decided to have children, I thought my kids wouldn’t shift until they were teenagers. And truthfully, at the time, that seemed far enough away I didn’t worry about it. Besides, the clan has ways of dealing with new shifters, and systems in place to keep them safe. Once in a while, I’ll have a teenager who’s struggling to learn to shift come to me, but it’s usually got to do with raging hormones and insecurities.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and when I check it, I notice two things. My next client will be here any minute, and Izzy wants to get together for more ceremony planning. The appointment, I can handle. Izzy, though? My breath catches in my throat as I begin to panic. She’s too close to me for her not to notice something’s wrong. I’d tell her about my kids in an instant if she weren’t the alpha’s wife, but because she is, I can’t put her in the position where she has to keep a secret from her mate. I text Izzy to buy myself time. Today is out. I’m overbooked. Maybe tomorrow?
Sounds good, she replies, and I let out a sigh of relief.
Someone knocks on my door, and I go let the man who is my next appointment in, and it doesn’t take long for me to get immersed in my work. Because what I do is emotionally draining, by the time my last client leaves and Marcel and the children come home, I’m too exhausted to get angry again.
The kids are tired from their eventful day too, and Adam nearly falls asleep in his dinner. The bedtime ritual is quick, and Marcel makes his way into the kitchen, where I’m scouring my spell book, trying to piece together something to keep the twins safe. “Hey,” he says. “Want to talk?”
“Yes.” I snap my book shut as I do my best to remain calm. “I’m uncomfortable with what you did today, Marcel. I’m sure being bear was fun for them, and you’re right that they need to learn, but I’m afraid now they’ll want to shift just to be one again.”
“That’s fair,” he says as he sits down across from me. “I’ve been thinking about how we can keep them safe. Ouellette Yachts has a preschool for the employees’ children. Most of them are werebear, and the teachers definitely are. I think it could work.”
I sigh. Ouellette Yachts is the clan’s major business, and most members work there in some capacity. It’s not a perfect solution, and there are a few details we’d need to iron out, like telling Jean Luc, but it does buy me time. “Okay,” I say. “Maybe that can work. It certainly takes the pressure off me to create a spell to teach the kids to understand it as soon as possible.”
Marcel frowns. “As soon as possible? I thought we were going to wait until—”
“Until they were old enough to understand?” I clench my fists as my blood begins to boil. “Like with shifting?”
My husband holds up his hands. “Hey. They started to shift without any prodding on my part. So we’re dealing with it.”
“Oh, no, you don’t.” I slap my hands on the table and stand up. So much for staying calm. “We need a way to control their shifting in public because we can’t rely on them having the ability by the time they’re five.”
“So magic is the answer? A little wave of your hand, and poof, no nasty bear parts coming out.”
“What?”
“I get it, Tally. Humans don’t like to see the animal side with our big, scary teeth. It’s probably horrible for you to imagine your children are so—”
“Stop!” My magic is coiled up inside me as a natural reaction to intense anger, and I keep my fingers curled into my fist so I don’t throw out a fireball in a fit of rage. “There is nothing about my children that horrifies me.” I glare at him as I wonder if this misconception is why he hardly ever shifts in front of me, and my anger subsides a little. I add, “Or you.”
“Humpf,” he says as he stands up. “You sure don’t act that way.”
“Marcel.” Tears of frustration fill my eyes, because he’s so off base about what’s bothering me, and making it about him. I say, “I’m scared to death for our kids and the clan. Hunters who want to wipe out werebear are everywhere. Can you imagine how easy it would be for them to get Adam or Ava?”
Marcel comes toward me. “That’s what you’re worried about?”
I nod as hot tears roll down my cheeks.
“Oh, honey.” He pulls me into his arms. “I’d never let that happen. First of all, we haven’t had a problem with hunters for five years now.” His voice changes to a cocky tone. “But more importantly, have you forgotten I’m a big deal with the warriors?”
I chuckle. “I know.”
He returns to a more somber tone. “You know we have guards on duty at all the schools. But if the kids still don’t understand things at five, we’ll start a private werebear-only school. And maybe it’s time we got you a nanny. That way, the kids don’t have to run errands with you in the human population.” He slides his hands down my arms and catches my fingers. “We’ll figure this out, Tally. Please don’t be afraid.”
I want to believe what he’s saying, but a little voice in my head won’t let me. Even though I’m not fully convinced, fighting with my husband isn’t going to solve anything, so I say, “Okay.” What he said about me being horrified about his animal side comes back to me. I place hands on his chest. “Marcel?”
“Yes?”
“Do you really think I don’t like you as a bear?”
He shrugs. “I imagine it’s scary for you.” He reaches out and rubs his thumb on the soft spot he’d like to mark with his bite. “I also have a very distinct smell in that form.”
I laugh. He does, but it’s one of those things I can’t help be attracted to. “Babe, your scent is sexy as hell.”
“Really?” He gives me a cocky grin. “What else do you like about me? Because I do this growling thing that’s usually a hit with the ladies.”
I shake my head and wonder how it is he can flip my anger off as if it’s a switch, and make my body tingle with desire for him in less than a minute. I hook a finger in the collar of his shirt and tug it down to reveal the smattering of hair on his chest. “Growling, huh? I might need to hear that.”
His smile disappears. “Tally. Promise me you aren’t going to use magic on the kids. Tell me our deal still stands.”
I take a deep breath and remember how we decided to try to keep the extent of my powers secret until the kids were old enough to understand. For many reasons, but most of all to keep them safe. I’m the kind of witch evil people want to disarm for good. Chances are good my kids will have strong powers too, and if they’re not ready to use them properly, it will be like spontaneous shifting. I blow out air slowly. “Our deal still stands.”
“Well then,” he says as he backs me up toward the sink as his sexy smirk returns. “About that growling thing. It only happens in certain situations.”
“I see.”
Marcel grabs my hips and lifts me up to sit on the counter. He pushes my thighs open to place himself between them and sears my lips with a kiss that makes me wish I could growl. When he pulls away, he takes my face in his hands. “Tally, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I had planned this morning. I thought we were on the same page with this. Didn’t we agree to not try to change what nature intended for the twins?”
“We did.” I sigh, because both of us have avoided dealing with our situation since we got home from Kimi’s. “But I assumed we’d talk about what we were going to do before it happened.”
“I swear nothing bad is ever going to happen to our children. Not on my watch. I promise.”
But what about mine? Fear sends a shiver down my spine, but I paste on a smile and decide to let this go for now. Even if he’s right that Ava and Adam are safe, we’re not in the clear. We still have to tell Jean Luc. I hold that thought, though, because Marcel threads his fingers through my hair to tug my head back and kiss my neck. I close my eyes and savor the sensations that rush through me, and tell myself we can deal with our problems tomorrow.
10
“Marcel!” I yell up the stairs to my husband, who is showering before he goes into work. Last night, after we had sex in the kitchen, we talked about the fact we need to tell Jean Luc about our children shifting. Before we got married, I was a regular at Jean Luc’s house, and even though the alpha was my boss, we treated each other like siblings. I’d have no trouble telling him about the twins, but Marcel has his pride, and I know he wants to be the one to share the news.
I’m about to take my children over to Izzy’s house for a play date so we can put the finishing touches on Marcel’s swearing-in ceremony as leader of warrior training, and I’m very afraid of what might slip out of my mouth around one of my best friends. But if Marcel tells Jean Luc today, then anything I tell Izzy won’t have to be kept a secret. And since I don’t want there to be any confusion about what we agreed to, I’m about to be a nagging wife.
My husband comes to the top of the stairs with a towel around his hips. As I gaze up at him, the sexy vision before me brings all sorts of naughty thoughts to my mind. “I hate when you do that,” I say.
“Do what?”
“Make me wish you were what’s for breakfast.”
“Mommy,” says Ava as she walks over to me, “you can’t eat Daddy.”
Marcel chuckles and says, “Wanna bet?”
Ava tilts her head at him as I shoot him a warning glare.
“You’re right, Ava,” says Marcel. He curls his fingers into claws and opens his mouth to snap his jaw shut a few times as if he’s a monster. “Maybe just a little bite of you instead?”
She giggles, and I say to my husband, “You’re talking to Jean Luc this morning. Right?”
“I am,” he says, and I detect a note of apprehension in his voice. I’m nervous too, because it is well within Jean Luc’s right to lay down laws we may not like. I try to take comfort in the fact that the alpha of the Ouellette clan is a forward thinker who is not prone to quick judgments.
“Great,” I say. “I’m off to Izzy’s. If you can text me how it went, that would be nice. Otherwise, I’ll see you tonight.” I feel a pang of jealousy for werebear mates. Once a male and a female complete the true-mate bond, they can communicate telepathically. So it would be much easier for Marcel to tell me how his conversation with Jean Luc went if I were a werebear. I shake off the feeling as best I can, but uneasiness lingers.
I take Ava and Adam to the van and strap them in their seats before climbing behind the wheel. Izzy’s triplets are in kindergarten, so they won’t be there, but Izzy has plenty of toys to keep my kids occupied while we work.
“Songs, Mommy,” cries out Ava, and I click a cord into my phone to stream kid music to the stereo system. I think back to when Izzy first came to Canada and we met. We hit it off instantly. And even though our lives are busy now as mothers, wives, and important members of the clan, we manage to pick up where we left off no matter how much time we’ve spent apart.
When I get to Jean Luc and Izzy’s house, Grace, Jean Luc’s mother, answers the door. And she welcomes me before ushering my children to the playroom. “Hey,” says Izzy. “What can I get you to drink?”
“Tea, please.” I notice muffins on a cooling rack. “Are those Grace’s blueberry muffins?”
“Sure are,” says Izzy as she grabs a plate and puts one on it for me.
Grace comes into the kitchen to join us. “They’re growing like weeds, Tally. I can’t believe they’ll be three soon. Before you know it, they’ll be shifting.”
I let out a cough as I choke on my mouthful of muffin, but I manage to recover quickly because there’s no way Grace could know the twins have already shifted. “I know.” But since she brought up the subject, I take the opportunity to ask her questions. “Is it hard when they start to shift?”
Grace says, “It depends on the child and their expectations. I think the ones that are used to being good at everything tend to struggle the most. They try too hard.”
Izzy chuckles. “That was Tristan. He wanted to be perfect at it from the start, and he was frustrated when he wasn’t.” She’s talking about her twin brother, who is the alpha of the polar bear clan Izzy came from. “I was such an angry child I had no trouble at all.”
“What about teaching them not to do it at school or in front of humans?” I ask. “How do you keep them safe?”
“It’s like most things,” says Grace. “Kids take cues from their parents. Since the majority of us are careful in public, they already know to do the same. Besides…” Grace chuckles. “Most teenagers are mortified to think that once they shift back, anyone around will see them naked.”
Great. Both of my kids would prefer to be naked, and now that their bear sides are active, it’s bound to be a stronger instinct.
Izzy sets a mug before me. “Yeah, and then there’s those of us who had a bipolar mother to contend with. Role model, she was not. I shifted whenever I felt like it, because I didn’t know any better. But I was also living in the Arctic, where if a human ventured anywhere near us and discovered what we were, we’d just kill them.”
I grimace. Izzy had a difficult childhood, living on a glacier that was melting. Her clan dwindled in numbers due to starvation and only managed to save themselves when they relocated to Maine.
“Oh my gosh, did you hear about what Jan’s boy did last night?” asks Grace.
