We walk in and all you hear is “Me Tarzan, you Jane.” And her father jumps out from behind the couch, showing us he is in nothing but his loincloth and white safari hat.
My eyes open huge while Kaleigh shrieks next to me. “Dad.” She throws the bag of meds down and he shields his pecker with his hands, his eyes as wide as saucers, just as her mother comes around the corner into the living room.
“Oh, Tarzan, I hope you have your rope for me to swing on.”
I take in her outfit and throw my head back and let out the biggest laugh of my life. This woman is wearing a leopard bikini top and a leopard print wrap around her waist. Her hands go up and she shrieks out at the top of her lungs. “Oh my God.”
“Hey,” I say, raising my hand. “Dede, you look great.”
She shoos me with her hand. “Oh, stop it, Noah.” She then looks at Kaleigh. “Oh, dear, you look horrible,” she says, coming to her.
“Mom, please tell me you’re wearing something under that loin scarf,” she says, taking in her mother’s outfit. Meanwhile her father has put the couch throw blanket around his waist, his hat still sitting on his head.
“No, dear, it didn’t come with panties,” she says softly. “Are you sick?”
“Yes, Mother, I’m sick. I called you and left you a voice mail,” she says, raising her hands.
“I don’t even know where my phone is,” she says as she turns around and shows us that she is in fact not wearing anything because you can see the bottom of her ass peeking out from the scarf.
Kaleigh puts her hands to her face. “I can’t do this. You need to take me to a hotel.” She pushes me out while I nod to her father and blink at her mother.
An hour later, I have her tucked into my bed. She fought me the whole way home. She took her meds and spoke to her mom on the phone right until she knocked out. I smile as I put the water bottle that she asked me to go get her next to the bed. Making my way downstairs, I grab my phone to call Austin. He answers right away, his frustration coming through the minute he picks up with a snarl.
“Jesus, you would think once you dip your dick in the honey you’d be less fucking high-strung,” I say, walking to the fridge. “Oh my God, unless you didn’t finish? Did you get dick shy?”
“Why are we friends?” he hisses out.
“Because I’ve seen your dick and I have a picture of your testicles. Besides, no one would put up with your mood swings. Jesus, you’re worse than my mother and she is way into menopause.”
“Fuck off, what do you want?”
“Kaleigh is sick, so I need to order her soup, but she is vegan, who doesn’t eat meat.”
“So order her vegetable soup. And what do you mean she’s sick? Where is she?”
“She has strep throat. She is upstairs in my bed.”
“Wait a minute. You actually have a girl in your bed and you’re not sticking your dick in honey?”
“Well, she’s my girlfriend. I don’t have the boyfriend manual on hand, but I’m pretty sure there is something in there with take care of your girl.” I open a beer. “How’s your girlfriend? Last I saw, she was running into a house.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” he hisses. “She showed up to work on Monday and we decided that we should not work and sleep together.”
“We?” I ask him. “Or you and that stupid rule?”
“It’s not a stupid rule!” he yells. “I can’t sleep with my assistant.”
“Oh, this all makes sense,” I say, sitting down on the stool. “You’re not just cranky, you’re dick cranky. Your dick can’t get into the honey, so now your bumblebee is going nuts.” I laugh out at him. “Dude, just break the rule. Who knows, you might actually like smiling.”
“Have you hit your head? Maybe you have a brain tumor. This might explain all the shit you’re spewing.”
I breathe out. “I gotta go and make sure Kaleigh is okay.”
I laugh out, knowing it’s killing him right now, but he just disconnects. I get up, going to the drawer with the take-out menus. After going on Google and finding an actual vegan restaurant, I order a shit-ton of soup along with some cookies and by the time I’m done I have spent two hundred dollars and it didn’t include one fucking steak. I pour some soup in a bowl and walk upstairs with it. All her clothes are on the floor in a heap and my cock thinks it’s time to come out and play.
“Simmer down there, boy.” I see Kaleigh’s head come out from under the covers.
“I might be dying,” she says, her voice all scratchy. “And your sheets need to be changed. I sweat a pool.”
I look down at my cock to see if maybe he will be grossed out by a girl sweating in my bed, and not because of sex, but because she is sick. Nope, he says there alert. Ready for combat. “I brought you soup,” I say to her as she sits up and shivers.
“I need a shower, and can you show me where the sheets are so I can change them?” she says, getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom with her hands in front of her while she shakes.
“Go shower. I’ll take care of this,” I tell her while she goes into the bathroom and I hear the shower turn on. I put the bowl down and peel the sheets off. She wasn’t kidding. They are soaked. I toss them in the basket as I get a whole new set out. After doing the bed with the fresh sheets, I walk to my closet and take out my terry cloth robe. I walk out as soon as Kaleigh walks out of the bathroom with her hair wrapped in a towel and one around her body. “Hey, gorgeous,” I say, placing the robe over her shoulders.
“You made the bed?” she asks, her eyes closing halfway. She puts her arms into the robe and takes the towel off her head. “I just took two Tylenol to help with the fever.”
I bring her to me and hug her, just fucking because, which is a crazy fucking notion.
“Come eat some soup and you can go back to bed. You need to stay hydrated,” I tell her, leading her to the bed.
She gets underneath the fresh covers. She sits up with her back to the headboard and the four pillows piled behind her.
“I ordered every single soup they had, four servings each. So you have twenty soups.” I sit next to her and hand her the bowl of soup.
She grabs the spoon and slurps it. “Is this homemade chicken soup?” she asks, her eyes going wide. “I’m vegan.”
“I know. I ordered it from the vegan restaurant. It even looks like chicken soup,” I say, watching her continue eating.
“You ordered vegan soup for me? You changed the sweaty sheets for me?” She puts the empty soup bowl down. “If I wasn’t sick, you’d so be getting a blow job right now,” she says as she sneezes all over me.
My head shoots back to avoid getting sprayed, but it lands all over my hand.
“Sorry,” she says, trying to wipe it, but I walk to the bathroom where I try not to be grossed out that all her germs are over me.
When I make it back into the room she is lying down on her side in a fetal position, her wet hair spread out on the pillow.
“I’m just going to take a little nap,” she says, her eyes already closed as she speaks.
I get in bed next to her, turning on the television on low and watching her sleep. I don’t know how long I watch it for. I turn it off and get under the covers, my body finding her, and we fall asleep as I hold her.
The next morning she wakes up still with a fever. After she takes her meds and some more Tylenol, she crashes out on the couch while I watch CNN. Her feet are in my lap, my arm lying on her leg. I had already taken off work, knowing I couldn’t leave her alone, when her phone next to her buzzes once. It’s a text from Lauren, so I open it up.
Hope you’re feeling better and that Mom isn’t making you want to commit suicide.
Should I wake her or should I just tell Lauren that she is with me? I go with plan B.
It’s Noah. She’s with me. I’ll take good care of her.
She answers right away.
I thought she was staying with my parents?
She was until she walked in on them
playing Tarzan and Jane. Your mom looks hot in a loincloth, BTW.
Ewwww! You’re a sick man. Off to the arena with Austin. Tell her to text me later.
He finally got over that ‘don’t shit where you eat’ bullshit?
No. Know anyone hiring?
You can come work for me. I definitely won’t want to have sex with you. I shoot out without even thinking about it. This can either be really good since I need a decent PA, but Austin will be shitting a nut when he finds out she will be working with me. I laugh thinking about it.
Funny guy. Okay, well, if you have a real suggestion, let me know.
I’m serious. I need a PA to keep my shit in order, and I heard you’re the best. Think about it. Let me know. That way, Austin’s balls won’t get swollen again. BTW, I will never ask you to get me coffee or food.
She doesn’t answer me back, so I put the phone down and continue watching mindless television while I hold on to my girl. I smile. My girl. Fuck yeah.
Chapter Twenty
Kaleigh
It’s been two days since I thought I was dying. I knew I was getting sick. The pain in my bones started first, then it spread to the chills and by the time noon came around I was full-blown lethargic. What I wasn’t expecting was for Noah to come in on a white horse, full knight in shining armor, but with a kilt, with nothing on underneath it.
He made soup for me, called in sick, changed my sweaty sheets, and never once did he try to have sex with me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, his penis was alert and ready every time I moved next to him or even when he saw me showering and sneezing on myself.
Now I just got up from a nap, another one. Jesus, I feel like I’ve slept for a week straight. Noah is napping also. We have done nothing but watch television and given new meaning to Netflix and chill. I grab my phone when it buzzes on the table next to the bed. I make sure the noise didn’t wake him. He is wearing a pair of sweats and nothing else. One thing I’ve learned about Noah is that if he’s home he’s without a shirt. I’ve also noticed he’s almost OCD with having dirty dishes in the sink. I had my ass on his counter but God forbid I put a dish in the sink and not rinse and put it in the dishwasher. The world has to stop. Yesterday I did it just to see him freak out. It was quite entertaining till he realized what I was doing and threw me over his shoulder, slapping my ass so hard it stung. The phone buzzes again in my hand.
Tell Noah to call me after nine to discuss his proposition.
I really hope your proposition isn’t about sex.
Are you still high?
No. Maybe. Yes. I’m so sick. I hope you catch it.
Gee, thanks.
He said the job is yours and to tell him when you want to start.
When I woke from my nap, he mentioned that he and Lauren texted and that he may have offered her a job. I was surprised that he would do that, but the way he said it made sense. “He wants to bang her so bad he’s making everyone miserable. I will just take one for the team. Besides, I heard that Lauren puts your email in alphabetical order.” It was as if she hung the moon.
How does next Monday sound? She asks and I know it works perfectly because he mentioned losing his latest PA starting Monday, so it doesn’t leave her much time since it’s already Wednesday.
It sounds like I need to have sex with him. He’s so hot taking care of me. I should give him a blow job.
With a throat infection? He might catch it!!!
In his dick?
No, dumbass, in his throat. Gotta go.
I laugh at her and then put my phone back, looking over at him with his hands crossed and resting on his stomach. My body starts perking up for him. I slowly rise to my knees and take off the robe I’m wearing, leaving me naked. I lick my lips, crawling to him, the bed dipping a bit, but not enough to wake him. My hands go to the elastic of his pants. I pull them down a touch. I don’t have that much space since he’s lying on his back, but just enough to get his cock out. It’s semi hard already. I cup him in my hand softly, looking up at him to see if he will stir. His eyes don’t even flicker, so I go a step further, leaning down and taking him in my mouth a bit, just the tip. When my hand cups the base that is now fully erect I throw my leg over his hip and lean back down, taking him all the way in my mouth. I repeat it three times before I feel his hands in my hair and a groan slips out of him. Letting his cock go, I look up.
“Sorry. I couldn’t wait any longer,” I tell him, going back down on him again.
“You can wake me each and every single time like that.” He lifts his hips, pushing his pants down his hips and giving me full access to his cock.
I twist my hand down his base, my mouth following. My nipples rub against his sweats, making them pebble from the friction. It also makes them ache to be touched.
“Fuck,” he says when I take him all the way in.
“So,” I say, letting him pop out of my mouth, then lick down the base, “when was the last time you got tested?” My tongue twirls around his balls.
His hips thrust up into my hand. “Last month,” he says, fucking my hand, and I switch from the left ball to the right one. “At my yearly.” His eyes try to stay open, but I suck one of his balls into my mouth gently.
“Me, too.” I wink at him. “Must be a sign,” I say, crawling back up to take him back into my mouth. His hands find their way into my hair. His cock starts to get bigger in my mouth and I know he’s almost there because his hips start thrusting to meet my mouth each time. Letting his cock go, he groans out his frustration but slowly stops when I move up. “So if I sat my pussy on your cock right now without a condom, would that be okay?” I ask him as I squat over his cock. My feet are placed beside his hips and my knees off the bed.
“I would be more than okay with that,” he says, grabbing onto my hips.
I grab his cock, squatting on top of him. I rub his head from my clit to my entrance. Once he is there, I use my legs to lower myself on him. My thighs shake since I’m going so slow. He slides in me, one centimeter at a time. It is so slow I feel every single ridge of his cock. We both throw our heads back when he is planted all the way inside me. Using my legs again, I rise up and when I’m going back down he thrusts up, hard.
“I want to do all the work,” I tell him breathlessly. “You rest,” I say, riding him, my thighs starting to burn a bit.
His hands leave my hips and go up to cup my breasts. He twirls my nipples with his fingers while I ride him. Slowly at first, then my body takes over. The need for him takes over. The need to cum takes over. My pants fill the silence of the room.
“I love your cock,” I say and move one hand to his stomach and another to my mouth, sucking a finger in, then bringing it to my clit. I start rubbing my clit in little circles. My pussy gets tight, my pace a little bit more frenzied. I look at Noah to see that he is watching his cock enter my pussy. “Like what you see?” I ask him, almost panting.
One hand leaves my breast as he comes down to my clit. He follows my finger, throwing me off at times. It’s a battle of who is going to play with my clit. A battle that I will let him win.
“This little pink clit peeking out,” he says, his teeth almost clenched. “If I pinch it, you think you can come harder?” he asks and I’m almost past the point of understanding.
I moan out my answer, my hands now coming up to play with my nipples. I roll them the same time he pinches my clit. It’s too much. My stomach clenches, my toes curl, and my pussy pulses around his cock.
“That’s it,” he says, hissing out. As I pound down on him, my juices run down his cock, dripping on his balls. “Fuck.” He lets go of my clit and I cum on him again.
My legs start to shake as I ride out my orgasm, to the point that now the burning increases. I’m almost to the end of the orgasm when he grabs hold of my hips, his fingertips digging in, and plants me down on his cock. My knees fall forward. His hips come off the bed, trying to get deeper and deeper in me as he cums in me with a roar. I collapse on top of him. Our breathing start
s coming back to normal.
“If you want to wake me up like that every single day, I will not say no. Ever,” he says, pushing the hair off my face, leaning down to kiss the top of my head.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say. “I’m really glad we did this on your side of the bed. I hate napping in a wet spot.” I giggle then sit back up, his cock still in me. I peel myself from him and walk to the bathroom. “I need a shower.” I look over my shoulder at him. “You coming?” I don’t have to ask him twice as he is already stumbling out of the bed and his legs are trying to get out of his sweats.
We stay in the shower till our hands look like prunes and the water turns to ice. By the time night comes around and we are both sitting downstairs at the island enjoying the last of the soup, I feel almost human.
“I have two meetings tomorrow morning,” he says, putting his plate in the dishwasher. “You think you’ll be okay?” he asks, his hair all tossed around. He stands at the sink with just his boxers on. His white Calvin Klein boxers, which mold him everywhere. “Um, hello?” he says loudly.
I blink my eyes, finally coming out of my cock dream. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I think I’m okay to go back home. I don’t think I’m contagious.”
He comes to me, picking me up under my armpits, and my legs wrap around his waist.
“Want to see me put my legs behind my head?” I wiggle my eyebrows at him as he starts to walk toward the stairs, stopping mid-step near the stairs.
“Is this enough space for you to show me and for me to ram my cock into you?” he asks with fire in his blue eyes.
I swallow a big gulp. “Yup, this is perfect.” And then I show him exactly how a pretzel looks. Naked. By the time I peel myself away from him the next morning at six a.m. I’m counting the hours till I see him again.
I unlock the door just as Lauren is coming downstairs for coffee. “You look so much better,” she says, walking to the machine, taking out two cups for us.
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