“What?” Huck was so stunned he stood mouth agape. Cobra never did anything wrong. “A strong leader always blames himself, even when he’s not wrong.”
Cobra lifted his head, his gaze intense. “What if I’m right, that I’m wrong?”
From his sorrow-filled eyes, Huck realized he didn’t mean Huck being evil, something in his past hurt.
“As long as we can feel them, even their fear, they are alive,” Huck said, it’s what he was holding onto.
“When I get out of this, with my mate, and I will, she won’t be leaving my side for a very long time.” Cobra’s determination gave Huck hope.
A sound made Huck look down the hall. His captain was approaching. The smug look he wore when he stood beside Huck infuriated him.
“Your female is carrying. She will last years in captivity, alone. Your son will develop his own shield in a few years or so then die, if I choose. I’m surprised, Huck. Your real father would be furious with you. You have his blood, you are evil. Yet you chose to give the brat a piece of your shield. Why?”
“I had my reasons.”
The captain chuckled. “Evasive. Nice. You are evil, aren’t you? I know our kind.”
Huck nodded. An idea formed. “I didn’t mate. Again, I had my reasons.” If his captain thought Becky was useless, he might send her back.
His captain chuckled. “No lies. Good. In this case. It was all an act wasn’t it? The child was to help infiltrate. Only, you should have informed me when you were on the shuttle. But I suppose you not telling me is strategic as well. Unless it was your idea all along to take over my position. You could once your son was grown. You’ll have a long time to explain to me what you were thinking. Right now denounce the bitch. I want her off my vessel.”
“Denounce?” Huck swallowed hard.
The captain moved closer. “You will go and tell her everything you said to her was a lie. Tell her you only wanted the brat to aid in your venture. You can’t love; I know you can’t. You had some plan. I want every Tonan on Cobra’s planet to know they are living a lie. They may have snapped their tails off; they may have convinced Cobra they are telling the truth. You will prove to them in doing that they have pulled off the biggest lie in Tonan history.”
The captain moved back and sauntered past Cobra laughing. Cobra was open-mouthed when he centered his gaze on Huck.
“If I go to Becky and lie, she will be killed when my tail grows. Cobra, there is no truth in what the captain said. He believes what he says, but he’s wrong. I am evil, but I love. Every second spent with Becky makes me better. He could never understand; pure evil has no understanding.”
“If you’re speaking the truth right now, and I think you are, you have a serious problem. You will be taken to her to denounce her. They will kill you when your tail grows. You may not have mated Becky, but if they kill you, they will kill her and your son. It would only be a matter of years.”
Huck was devastated, Cobra was right. In order to save Becky, and his son he would have to lie. If he lied, his shield would come up and she would know, everyone will know. He had to convince everyone he was telling the truth, but how? His pacing became erratic, the baby shield was impenetrable. Until it fell. Becky would be killed. His son would battle but a four or five year old didn’t possess the strength of a seasoned warrior. His shield knew evasive maneuvers, but it took time for shield and warrior to become one. They weren’t always one, they had to learn together.
The idea stopped Huck dead in his tracks. At one time he battled his shield, it was too foreign. His shield was a part of his stepfather, not his biological father. It took Huck longer than the average warrior to connect, to learn to move, to cooperate, to trust. A hand to his heart, Huck was almost felled to his knees with the revelation, he did trust. He trusted his stepdad, he cared for him and it was for him and his mother he learned to accept his shield and not reject it.
In those critical years, he could have cast his shield aside, it wasn’t his, he had to make it his. To this day there was resistance in his shield with some of his actions. His shield that tempered him, made him search for control. If his shield was gone, would Huck be more like his evil father without the interference? There was risk, but there was a chance, his only chance at saving his family.
Huck turned. He faced Cobra. “Without my shield, I can save their lives.”
“Without your shield you would be vulnerable to attack and susceptible to change. I don’t know if you can be brought back if you plan on doing what I think you are.”
“They must live. My father didn’t care if I lived or died. I care if Becky and my son die. There has to be something of my stepfather in me besides this shield. My mother is in me.”
“There is no guarantee if you cast off your shield you will say what needs to be done.”
“I can say what needs to be done. I’m afraid if I lose my shield, I’ll mean what I say. Please, Cobra, when this is done, tell Becky I did this for her and our child. Right now, this very second I love them both so much it hurts. I can love, I feel it.”
Cobra faced him from the other cell. “They will know. So will I, and if it’s possible, I will get you back.”
“If it’s not, then kill me.”
Cobra nodded in agreement.
Huck sat on the floor with his back to the cold hard surface. His shield was more than his protection; it was his safety, his worth, who he was a part of, the best part. His shield was his friend, his better half. His shield was the part given to him. But the shield had limits, too. Every lie was met with a consequence too old to stop. Even to save itself the shield couldn’t deny its nature.
“There is no other way,” Huck whispered.
For the first time in his life Huck didn’t feel his shield argue, it had no comment. One thought whispered within his mind; his shield was part of his son. Huck had given his son a piece of him, the best part he had. His love to keep him safe, his love to guide him. The best part of his shield was secure within his child.
You did well.
Huck sucked in his breath; it was his stepfather’s voice in his mind. The sound of approval. Thinking back, he realized the first time he was told he’d done well. A child of twelve. An injured animal in his hands to kill or heal. The urge to destroy was heavy. The creature was nothing, it was weightless; it was suffering. Things suffered. Things died. The fight within him was strong. In the end, he took the creature to his mother who spent time healing it while Huck watched, pretending to be detached.
All along his stepdad knew he felt compassion. That was when he pulled Huck aside and told him compassion was for the strong of heart. To kill was to end something, it took no effort, to keep something alive took patience and courage, knowing you may lose it anyway. Huck had lost the creature the day it took off in the woods; he had been angry. Until the next morning, there sat Micco, the sturdy, furry, healed little wood nymph waiting to be fed.
“We had some interesting moments,” Huck whispered.
A slight laughter filled his thoughts. Arguments, too, stubborn warrior. Spontaneous, thoughtful moments. The day Huck turned ten thinking he owned the world from atop a massive tree. His shield had lowered and Huck slid down the tree at a furious pace howling. Huck remembered being angry, but in retrospect his shield was young, too. The first battle he ever entered into and there was no doubt his shield had his back.
“I will miss you. You will always be my best friend.”
Good bye, my friend.
“I love you.”
I love you, too.
Huck took a breath. “I don’t want you, you grey piece of shit. Go. Leave. I don’t need you. I’ve never needed you; you aren’t from my real father. I denounce you and cast you off.”
The fury it took to denounce his shield hurt when he didn’t mean to, his untrue lie and his entire body shook with the force. To cast off something unwanted was nothing, but to lose what you love took a part of your soul. In doing so, he denounced his stepfather, the
only father who meant anything to him. The action tore him apart. The pain was excruciating. Huck doubled over, thinking he would die. His bellow thundered. His shield was an entity and there was a connection, but because the shield didn’t come from his father the separation was easier, yet no less painful. The shield was, after all, given out of love. The squeal was agonized as the shield slipped from him, tore from him. The grey shadow hovered, touching him one last time before turning to dust and before the dust could settle, it was blown away on a small breeze leaving no indication it ever existed.
Huck ached inside. The emptiness was killing him. The loneliness invaded every inch of him. Half of him was gone. Yet he lived. Huck reached his hand up to his face and when he pulled his fingers away they were wet. He gazed at Cobra in confusion.
“We cry?”
Cobra was staring at him, his sad features spoke volumes. “Not for a millennia.”
“I’m sorry, Cobra. It’s started already, the anger, but I won’t fail them.”
“Keep who you are as long as possible,” Cobra urged. “Go to them now, Huck. Do it before it’s too late.”
Huck dragged to his feet using the bars and bellowed. “Get the captain.”
A Tonan appeared. “Come to your senses yet?”
“Yes.”
The warrior smirked when he saw no tail appear. “Are you going to battle me?”
“No.” Huck’s tone was even. He had no urge to battle; he had to get to Becky before his deed was found out.
The captain was waiting for him in a large hanger; Becky was motioned from a cage. “Denounce your brat and the bitch, and I’ll have no use for them. They need to go to Cobra’s planet and show other females what will happen. Your act will show every other Tonan they can return to our fold when they do the right thing.”
Becky ran to him. The baby shield flickered, a fast shock to his senses but nothing more. Huck felt his heart quiver. The baby knew. The baby knew his father was no threat. His son was oddly silent. The silence was a shock to Huck. There was nothing to sense and for a second, he felt his panic build, but his son must be alive. He quickly controlled his features. He sensed nothing from Becky, his bond mate, a complete blank. There was no connection, they were no longer bonded.
I feel so alone. The thought was his and only his.
“Are you hurt? You look awful,” Becky said.
Huck shoved her to arm’s length. His action was partly for show, partly because his insides lurched with fear, real fear. I sense nothing.
“You need to leave, female.”
“No, they can’t get near me. The baby shield won’t let them.”
“I don’t want you here. You don’t belong here.”
“Huck?”
Becky studied him, no doubt waiting for his shield to slam over him. Nothing happened. Huck was dying inside. He felt his father’s influence; he could be bad, hideous if he had to be. But his mother’s compassion would make him hurt.
“Go, Becky. I don’t want to mate you. I never did. I only wanted to be on the winning side. This is the winning side.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“The hell I don’t. Take the brat and go. I don’t want the thing. I never did.” Daggers pierced his soul. It wasn’t enough; he had one more hurtful, hateful thing to do. “Go, bitch, and take the spawn with you.” Huck shoved her. The baby shield went up and sent Huck flying.
The wall he collided with was unmerciful. Pain the likes he never felt shot up his spine and rattled his teeth. Huck shook his head while the other warriors laughed. Becky crumpled in a ball sobbing. If some of the warriors wondered why his shield didn’t come up, Huck supposed they were laughing too hard to care. When it was discovered he had no protection, the warriors would do worse. His was going to be a brutal demise.
“Get them out of my sight. Tears are for the weak.” Huck staggered to his feet. Pretending he was disgusted, not in pain. He leveled a condescending gaze onto Becky before turning away.
It took every ounce of his strength not to clutch the door frame leaving the hanger, not to press his throbbing head against the coolness. The tiny snuffles he heard come from Becky followed him from the room. He wished she would shout at him, hurl obscenities. All she did was call out she loved him. She was killing him.
The captain laughed when he walked next to Huck. The sub level he was on made Huck’s heart pound, he couldn’t control it. The lights were switched to low. Huck couldn’t see; it was too dark.
I can’t see in the dark anymore.
His breath increased, he had no way to control his pounding heart. Sweat beaded his forehead. He tried to remember the layout when he was taken. To his left there was a row of cages and Huck reached out. His fingers touched the cold bars as he walked. His captain wouldn’t question why his shield stayed down, but he would if he tripped. The concentration made his head throb, Huck had a headache. He was cold; it was cold in the hall.
It took effort to keep his teeth from clacking together. With relief he saw a small light near Cobra who was watching him.
“Well done.” The captain tossed Huck back into his cage. “Once this piece of garbage is sent back with the female, you will be turned loose to send your message.” He turned to Cobra. “You will allow Huck to speak to my wayward Tonan warriors, Cobra. Then and only then will I release your mate.”
“He may speak.” Cobra cast a glance at Huck who stood ramrod straight, gripping the bars of his cage.
It was subtle, but Huck noticed Cobra’s gratitude. If nothing else, Becky and his son would be under Cobra’s protection forever. In a roundabout way, Huck had his wish. He secured family for his child. He would tell himself repeatedly while the Tonans bashed his brains to pulp, he saved his son. His son is on the winning side with a mother who would love him no matter what a shit she thought his father to be. But Cobra would tell Becky Huck did it for her, too. She was safe and because of her, Huck knew he could love.
“Any last words?” The captain was cocky as he was leading Cobra away. Cobra stopped and glanced back at Huck.
“You better believe everyone will know what you’ve done, warrior.” Cobra’s words were heated, but the captain thought they were laced in malice, it showed in his smirk, while Huck knew they were coated with pride.
When everyone left, Huck went to the back of the cage and slumped down the cold wall. The light was extinguished. It was scary in the dark. Huck hadn’t felt fear since he was young. He buried his face in his hands. He was alone. Never in his life had he been alone.
“Hello?” he whispered.
There was nothing…
Chapter 13
Becky was listening to Cobra’s words but his droning voice was an irritation. She already knew something bad happened on the ship. Huck wanted his son more than anything and knew she was positive he wanted her. He loved her. Only, it was Cobra relaying the message when it should be Huck. She started out to teach Huck love, and he figured it out on his own. Unconditional sacrifice, and now he was in danger.
“So he has no shield and no chance of defending himself. What you’re not saying is you think he’s dead or about to die,” Becky couldn’t keep the snarl from her words.
“He did this to keep you safe,” Cobra said.
“He did this to free you and your mate, too. What he didn’t know was Jinx and Roam’s son already freed Leah. Ryker has never met Huck so there was no connection. If left long enough, he and Zell would have freed you and me. Huck never had to do this, but he did thinking it was the only chance we had. Self-sacrificing because of love and trust. You wanted proof he wasn’t evil? Well if this isn’t a neon sign falling on your condescending head, I don’t know what is. He is a warrior you should be proud of. The next question is, what are you going to do to save him?”
“Becky, I have launched a rescue, but his shield is gone. I have no clue what kind of Tonan we are dealing with now. Good, evil, broken. I have defended my warriors for a long time. I realize things are changin
g. But now, Huck may not have a shield, and he might be dangerous.”
“You get him home. I’m going to mate him and you are going to find him a Castian or Tonan who will warrior mate him.”
“Warrior mate him?” Cobra pulled up short. “That’s an idea. Hell, I have a warrior mate but I can have another. My son is still young and his mother won’t allow him to battle. I have to access my memories.”
Cobra stood quietly thinking. “Well?” Becky yelled.
“I don’t think he can warrior mate with another Tonan, they don’t have the concept. But Roam and Taz proved a Tonan and Castian can mate. It would be tricky. Roam said he learned of Tonan heritage and had trouble getting himself together after the mating. Huck has an evil side. Damn, Taz didn’t have the same heritage Huck does, it would be different. Too different.”
Cobra slumped. Becky grabbed his arm in anger. She fought off the secretions his shield automatically produced to calm her and she was amazed her baby shield didn’t toss him.
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t think I can warrior mate him. Something inside of me is telling me it’s impossible. Half of him is evil. My shield won’t let me get past that. His biological father was Tonan, he would need to warrior mate a Tonan, but they don’t know how. And the risk of them inheriting the evil part of Huck would be too great. Huck has had years to temper his actions. Another would have evil thrown at them too quickly.”
“Then there’s no hope for him? Even if we get him back?” Becky was crushed.
Cobra placed his hands on her shoulders. “I will get him back alive, I swear. But he will grow old and die without his shield.”
Becky stepped back filling with relief. She thought Cobra meant Huck would simply die. She smiled. “Don’t you see, we didn’t mate, but we can marry. I can grow old, too, with him.”
MINE! [New World Book 8] Page 14
