Still smiling I tuned them out, a warm feeling spreading through my chest. They were clan, and they were happy, and being a part of that made me feel good. “What do you do to unwind?” I asked Linton.
He looked around the room and then raised an eyebrow as if to say he’d been in the middle of just that when I’d burst in and interrupted him. “We all have our secrets.” He said it so matter-of-factly that I didn’t even bother to question him.
If you want them, then call them to you.
My head snapped his way, and I tried to hide the surprise on my face.
He threw his head back and chuckled, but it was as controlled as everything else he did. Did you really believe that this was something special to only yourself and Reid? He tsked as if I should’ve known better, and the more I thought about it, I figured he was right.
Allow me my illusions, I said, and he laughed again.
I didn’t want to intrude on any of their evenings, so I sent out a mental image of myself and Linton as we were at that very moment, then broke contact. Now, if they chose to come it would be up to them.
About ten minutes later all three came bursting through the door. “I see you’re still alive,” Stax said in way of greeting, but at least he looked pleased about it.
“And you’ve learned some new skills,” Erain said, plopping down on one of the couches. Stax reclined on one of the settees, while Arden sat in one of the other empty chairs in the room, book still in his hand.
They all stared at me eagerly, and it took me a second to realize what they wanted. “Oh, everything went fine with the Dragon Lords. I was told that I’d represented my clan well.”
They all looked pleased, but it was Stax who pumped a victorious fist in the air. “Yes, wait until I tell Mylin and Tinge.”
I laughed and shook my head at him, knowing he just wanted to rub it in their faces. Mylin and Tinge were from the clan Rook, and their houses and buildings were set a few miles from our own. We’d see them sometimes when we’d go out shopping at the markets. Thinking about them made me wonder though. “If I was to reach out to them, would they hear me, the same way that you do?”
“They are dragon blood so...” Arden said.
“So?” I said when he didn’t go on.
He sighed and closed his book. “We can feel your feelings and emotions.” He waved a hand around the room. “We as a clan can draw strength from each other and lean on each other in despair.”
I blinked at him, and Stax sat up and gave Arden a pointed look. “We can all communicate mentally, but only your clan has the power to know what you’re feeling and thinking.”
I looked to Arden. “Why didn’t you just say that?”
He scowled at me, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
Erain reached into a nearby fruit bowl, plucked out a plum and took a large bite. “So, tell us what it was like being in the presence of the great ones.”
I wringed my hands and tried to find the right words. My mind went back to how they’d admitted to destroying the Yango’s livelihood, and I shivered. “Enlightening, but why in the ever fuc—” I took a deep breath and tried to quall my temper. “Why did they destroy the Yango? Did they not foresee the damage it would cause?”
Linton watched me in a way that said he was looking straight into my soul, and I fought the urge to put my arms around myself to hide whatever he might find. “Yes, they knew, and they did it anyway.”
I gasped, still trying to understand their reasonings. “Do you know why?”
“Yes.”
“Will you tell me?”
“No.”
I rolled my eyes, figured. “Well tell me this, how were you able to come to Reid and me, if you’re not allowed to leave this place?”
“Because what was put wrong must now be put right,” Erain said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
At this point, I just wanted to claw my eyeballs out and be done with it. They were being deliberately obtuse, and I’d had enough. “The rogue Yango are all meeting tomorrow night. We have a chance to take them all out and end their reign of terror once and for all. Will you guys help? Will you come fight with us? With me?”
“No,” they all answered at once, and I shrunk back, hurt and confused. They talked so much about clan loyalty and dragon solidarity, yet here Reid and I were, now dragon born, and they were turning their backs on us.
My eyes burned, and I didn’t realize until just that moment how much I’d been counting on their support. Clan loyalty my left foot. They could take that loyalty and stick it up their as—
“It’s not that we don’t want to,” Arden said, his voice dry and chastising. “We can’t travel to your world, or any world like it, only to other dragon lands.” He cocked his head to the side. “Linton came because the universe demanded it. After that, the gateway was sealed closed again. I thought we’d made that clear to you before.”
“Well, I guess you didn’t make it clear enough,” I snapped, causing him to give me a look that said I was acting like a five-year-old.
“Don’t get mad,” Stax said, cutting his eyes to Arden, then to me. “We don’t make the rules, but we do have to follow them.”
I felt myself getting choked up and closed my eyes, willing it away, telling myself that I would not cry in front of them. All of this started because of the Dragon Lords, and I still hadn’t learned the reason for it. “But why?” I asked, hating the way my voice broke. “Why’d they do it?” I thought back to the rage of all three Dragon Lords as they’d stripped the Yango’s land, poisoned their air, and drained their water supply. They’d been caught up in a whirlwind of emotions, and I finally figured out what it was.
Vengeance. The Yango had crossed them, and they’d destroyed them for it. “Guys,” I said, my hands out in front of me pleading. “Please tell me why they did it?”
The room fell solemn and silent, and none of the four looked at me, but I could see the sadness on all of their faces. I let out a breath of defeat, knowing that I wouldn’t learn anything new today.
“Well, I guess I’ll go,” I said after another ten minutes of silence. I came to my feet, and the others in the room did as well.
Erain pulled me into a hug, and at first, I was stiff in her arms, but then I relented and squeezed her tight, wondering if I’d see her or any of my clan again. She gave me a sad smile as she pulled away and I returned an equally depressing one.
Stax too hugged me. “Just remember that clan never leaves you,” he whispered in my ear before stepping back.
I gave him a sharp look, not sure what he meant, and he raised a brow in a way that told me to think about it.
Arden nodded at me. “Try to stay alive.” I wondered what it caused him to even say that much.
Linton held out his arms, and I was crying now, as I flew into them, gripping him tight and wondering how to express everything I was feeling. “You’ll do fine,” he said, pushing hair out of my face. “Just remember everything we taught you and that your bond with your clan is unbreakable and transcends all else.”
I wiped my face as I stepped back, knowing he and Stax were trying to tell me something, but not catching on yet to what it was.
“Well, I would say see you later, but who knows if I’ll even be alive this time tomorrow,” I said, before opening a portal and stepping through.
Chapter 18
I went straight to bed when I got home. I didn’t want to see anyone, not even Reid. I felt raw and exposed after my trip to Cyphen, and for now, the only thing I wanted was rest.
I snuggled down into the covers, wondering what good was a clan if they weren’t there when you needed them most.
I MADE A POINT OF GOING to Todd’s house early, hoping that Vonda would already be there, and we could talk. She’d been taking a lot of vacation days from work lately, and I wanted to ask her if she even still had a job, but didn’t dare.
I knew that my career and Reid’s were both in the toilet at the moment, and
I didn’t want her to have to lose her livelihood as well. Not because of some stupid drunk mistake I’d made. I’d fucked up big time, but my whole family shouldn’t have to pay the price for that.
The first thing I noticed when I pulled up to Todd’s was that the spot where she usually parked her car was empty, yet the one where my parents usually parked theirs was not.
That meant they were here. I ran a frustrated hand down my face and let out a small sigh. Great. The last thing I wanted was to deal with them. I’d wanted to come here and talk to my brother and sister alone.
The fact that I may not be coming back from this weighed heavily on my chest, and I had a lot to say to the two people who’d been with me, around me, there for me, all of my life, Todd, and Vonda.
I couldn’t offer them solace if I went to Lechen and died, and that included my parents and the twins as well, but I could give them comfort while I was still here, and let them know what they meant to me.
I got out of the car and walked through the front door. My mom was in the living room talking softly with Coen. I could hear the twins’ loud voices from down the hall as they played one of the new video games Todd had gotten for them.
I waved at Coen and smiled at my mom. My mom. I choked up a little when I saw her because it would hurt her more than anything if I didn’t come back. I could feel my eyes mist over, and I turned, not wanting her to see me like this.
I loved my mom, always wanted her happy, and knew this would destroy her. I didn’t know how to tell my family that I had to do this. That if there was a way to stop the Yango, then I had to try. I just couldn’t sit on the sidelines and do nothing while thousands of people continued to die.
I got control of my emotions, squared my shoulders, and proceeded to the kitchen. Todd was at the stove. His back was to me as he looked over the dishes he had cooking.
Hmm. I sniffed the air. That Cajun smell mixed with the aroma of rice, chicken, shrimp, and sausage, told me he was cooking jambalaya. I licked my lips in anticipation. Todd made some of the best jambalaya I’d ever tasted.
I think the secret was he kept the dish moist, never draining out all of the broth. Some didn’t consider that true jambalaya, but most loved it, judging by the fact that it was one of the top dishes at his restaurant.
My dad stood just inches away from Todd, holding a robust conversation with him, though Todd only gave him quick yes and no answers. That, and the fact that Todd wouldn’t even look him in the eye, left a confused expression on my father’s face and made him try that much harder to get Todd’s attention.
To break him, I thought. My father had to win at everything, and this was just another example of that. Todd clearly didn’t want to be bothered, but my father was determined to make him talk whether he wanted to or not.
My nostrils flared, as smoke came from my nose and ears. “Dad.” I was not willing to let this foolishness continue any longer. “May I talk to you outside for a moment?”
His head whipped my way and I could tell from the startled look on his face that he hadn’t known I’d been standing there. He started to say something to me, then stopped and turned back to my brother, opting to finish his conversation with Todd first.
As soon as my brother broke down and decided to talk to him, then all would be well because my father would have won the little power struggle they were currently having.
I put my hands on my hips and tsked because I wasn’t willing to let it go down that way. “Please,” I said, causing both their eyes to go wide. At fifteen I’d sworn to never use that word again in regards to my father, and I hadn’t, and they both knew it.
My father cleared his throat and straightened his lapels, looking at Todd as he spoke. “Very well, then. We shall continue this conversation shortly.”
Todd’s shoulders slumped when my dad walked away, and he closed his eyes and swallowed hard before mouthing “Thank you” to me and turning back to his food.
I stepped out on the back deck behind my father, and he had nothing but concern on his face as he looked at me. It gave me pause for a moment, and then I remembered the downtrodden expression in Todd’s eyes when I’d first come back from Cyphen, and that steeled my spine and gave me all the strength I needed.
I folded my arms in front of me and glared at my father. “Leave Todd alone.”
His brows rose to his hairline as he stared at me in bewilderment. “If your brother has something he’d like to discuss with me, he can—”
“No,” I cut him off. “He cannot talk to you because the only thing you’ll do is bully him, loud talk him, and insist that you’re right no matter the situation.” My voice rose, and I closed my eyes and reminded myself that this was my father and not some stranger off the street.
My father stared, mouth agape as if I hadn’t told him the same thing when I’d turned eighteen, and he’d tried to control my career choices. Did he think it was only me that felt that way? Had he not known that he treated all three of us the same?
His lips tightened. “Alisa, your brother knows that he can talk to me about anything. I think you’ve gotten a few things confused, but we can both go in there now and talk to him to clear it up.” He started for the door, but my next words stopped him cold.
“You’re going to lose him,” I said, my voice shaking and eyes brimming with tears.
My father turned back around and swallowed hard when he saw the emotion on my face. “You blamed him for not stopping me from going to Cyphen and put my assumed death on his shoulders.”
Now I was crying, thinking about how that must have destroyed my brother at the time, to be handed such a weight. “How could you do that?” I asked. My tone was low, and I could hear the tears in my voice. “Think about how he must have felt hearing that.”
My father’s lips tightened again, and a myriad of expressions played out across his face. “I have always done my best for you kids. If—”
I cut him off again. “Todd never wanted to open a restaurant, Dad. Nightclubs are his passion. Vonda never wanted to be a bank teller, but you wouldn’t listen to either of them when they tried to tell you that. You insisted they do what you wanted them to, disregarding how they felt completely.”
His body went rigid, and his eyes widened as if this was all new information and he hadn’t known any of it until this very moment. He straightened his lapels again and cleared his throat. He looked as confident as ever, but his eyes held sadness and shock. “Very well,” he nodded. “You’ve made your feelings quite clear. If you’ll excuse me.” He turned to walk back into the house.
“You’re going to lose your son,” I said again to his retreating back. “If you don’t fix this, you’re going to lose him.”
Chapter 19
I watched my father go, and then sat down hard on one of Todd’s lounge chairs, my shoulders shaking. The thing was, I knew my father would move heaven and earth to protect each one of us, from anything. I knew that, but that still didn’t excuse his actions.
Still, I’d destroyed him just now, I knew that I had. My father didn’t generally do emotions, yet for a second his defenses had dropped. Which meant I must have scorched him bad.
I ran a hand down my face wiping away the tears. Are you okay? Reid. I answered yes and then blocked him out. I’d deal with him later. Right now, I needed to get myself together before I talked to anyone else.
My father hadn’t been all bad as we were growing up. Todd, Vonda, and I had never wanted for anything. He’d made sure that we were well fed and clothed. We always had extra money for school supplies and activities.
He and my mom had taken good care of us, but the thing was, my father didn’t know when to pull back and how to let us live our own lives. His behavior had marked each of us in a way I wasn’t sure would ever be erased.
With the twins it was different, so they didn’t really understand what Vonda, myself, and Todd had been through. They’d been nineteen when they’d gone to live with my mom and dad, personalities alread
y formed. He was good with them, as was my mom, so the twins couldn’t relate to the feelings of suffocation that Todd, Vonda, and myself, sometimes felt.
I took a few more moments to compose myself, knowing that I may never see any of these people again. I needed to get it together, go in there, talk to them, and tell them what they meant to me.
I started to get up, then images of Todd, Vonda, and myself spending carefree summers playing tag, freeze, and kickball in my parent’s backyard went through my head, and I sat back down deciding to stay outside a while longer.
When I finally did go back into the house, it was to the sound of heavy chattering, and a few more food smells had been added to the air. I walked into the dining room, where everyone seemed to be and saw a table full of crab legs, shrimp, fried and baked fish, corn on the cob, green beans, and tossed salad.
It seemed like while I’d been outside all of the others had shown up, and I felt my stomach drop as I watched them around the table. Tonight, one of us might end up dead. Tonight, all of us might end up dead, and I just didn’t know where to put that.
Cold fear gripped me, and I took a deep breath, trying to tell myself that it would be alright and we’d all make it back from Lechen alive, but I didn’t really know if that was true, and the realities of our situation scared me.
Reid stood, leaning up against a counter, eyes on me. I’d shut him out earlier and no doubt he wanted to talk about it. I didn’t, and I hoped he could respect that.
My parents didn’t know we were meeting with the Yango and I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them. I didn’t want that worry on their shoulders. Anyway, if I came back okay, then everything would be fine.
If I didn’t... I shook my head, telling myself to put some confidence in my abilities. If I didn’t... No. I shook my head again, killing that line of thought. If I went to Lechen weak, then the Yango would have already won, and I couldn’t let that happen.
Ridge looked at me, eyes narrowed, and I took a deep breath and shut him out too. I wasn’t in the mood for having my emotions read tonight, and the sooner everyone understood that the better.
Dust and Cinder (Rise of the Dragons Trilogy Book 3) Page 8
