Xander

by Vivienne Savage

  “You’re worried about our next scheduled liberty dock.”

  “Yes. Will you be all right there?”

  All right. Such a simple concept, but far from how he felt when he considered the rolling green and blue oceans stretched endlessly over Elora. The little aquatic planet held memories for him of his deceased wife. Ylona wouldn’t want him to avoid her homeworld. She would want him to celebrate every moment as if she were there in spirit.

  “I’ll be fine,” he responded slowly. “I’m looking forward to it. I miss her, but I promise going there isn’t going to push me over the edge or anything.”

  “And your new friend? Is that a one-time dalliance or will you be sharing the time with her?” Ethan regarded him with brotherly concern.

  “We’re still working that out.” Xander frowned. “I haven’t told her about Ylona.”

  “Or about other things, I take it.”

  “No, she knows about my heritage. I figured one bombshell was enough to drop on her. Bringing up my dead wife didn’t seem appropriate.” Especially when she’d had a double handful of dick and was keen on exploring.

  “Well, that’s a step in the right direction. Anyway, we’ll work out the schedule if your shore leave doesn’t overlap.”

  “You don’t have to do that, Ethan. No special favors.”

  “This isn’t a special favor. Now get out of here. I’d ask you to join me in game tonight, but I have plans to visit Engineering and the Main Battery. When we run into those pirates again, I don’t want history repeating itself.”

  “Don’t terrorize them too much.”

  They parted ways and Xander hurried as fast as he dared down the passageway.

  The game asked him if he wanted to log into his last known position, or teleport to a new location. He chose the Gardens of Manhattan. Seconds later, the virtual world greeted him with a splash of colors and humming sensation. It came alive, bombarding him with natural green smells and birdsong.

  Thandie had picked the location. Xander turned in a circle, taking in the exotic sight surrounding him. New York City as a whole didn’t appeal to him; it was too crowded and noisy. No wonder their past ancestors had looked to the stars for greener pastures.

  He waited in an oasis within the chaotic city replica. Trees grew inside and soared up to the vaulted glass roof, water fell over rocks in a natural fountain, and flowers in every color sprouted up in neatly tended beds. It was beautiful and quiet, with only a small handful of other players occupying the large space.

  A soft breeze whispered across his cheek and stirred through his hair. It carried the scent he associated with rain and thunderstorms, mingled with the green and floral fragrance of the room. The game provided the most realistic tastes and smells, rivaling anything from the physical world. It was no wonder that some people logged in and lost their lives to the virtual world. For a time, he had been one of them, throwing away his physical life to numb the pain of losing his wife.

  “Oh, hello, Juan. Fancy meeting you here.”

  The use of his avatar’s name drew Xander’s gaze upward. Zephyr’s ethereal form shimmered and coalesced into existence near a vented window. Pale blue and silver silks fluttered around her slender frame, accompanied by beautiful iridescent wings that vanished once she touched the ground. Her bare feet left slight indentations in the grass.

  His cock jumped up and stiffened, thankfully concealed beneath heavy layers of mage battle robes. Months of gaming, and he still wasn’t used to his avatar having only one. Maybe he could download a mod. “Get bored with England’s zones?”

  Zephyr smiled and shrugged. “I was after a certain weapon drop in this area last time I played, so this is where I logged out.”

  “Did you get it?” Chatting with Zephyr became an acceptable distraction until Thandie arrived.

  The sylph nodded eagerly, her face aglow with enthusiasm. She accessed her holographic interface and removed a longbow from her inventory. Living vines twined around its length. “A reward from the local dryads for defending them against some fire-happy warlocks. I can hit an imp at a hundred paces, easy.”

  “Nice.” He glanced it over, then handed the weapon back, watching as it disappeared into her inventory. “I’m a little envious. I like bows.”

  “So, what brings you around here? I’m so used to seeing you with the other two.”

  “Eh… I didn’t set up a time to play with them today. They’re busy.”

  “Just taking in the view?” Zephyr’s glance slid past him briefly, toward the sound of an opening door. Two people stepped out of the gardens into the room beyond. She sighed and glanced back.

  “Yep. What about you? I usually see you with a gaggle of your nymphly cousins.”

  “True, but today I’m waiting for someone.” She dropped down onto a nearby bench and swayed her feet from side to side, tapping her fingers against her thigh. The familiar gesture drew his gaze until she lifted her eyes and caught him staring. “Nymphs don’t have a footwear slot. I sort of like it.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just that you remind me of someone I know.” He paused to consider the absolute absurdity, then marveled over how dry his mouth felt in a digital videogame. “Thandie?”

  Zephyr’s lips parted in a silent “oh” of surprise. She hopped up and hastily tucked her long, silvery hair behind her delicately pointed ears. “Xander?”

  “You’re a sylph.” He’d expected some hulking Inquisitor type character with a flaming sword of righteousness, or maybe even one of the tough-as-nails wizard avatars.

  “So?”

  “You’re roleplaying the most feminine class in the game.”

  “What’s wrong with that?” Thandie drew herself up defensively. If Xander had any doubts about her identity, that action ended them. “I’m supposed to be a tank because I shoot guns in real life?”

  “No, I like it!” he quickly clarified, waving his hands. “It was just unexpected. I…” He snorted, overcome with a realization that made him quake with laughter. “We’ve been playing together all this time.”

  “You’re playing a healer.” Her lips quirked at the corners into a broad smile. “You’re a doctor and you’re playing one here, too.”

  “Stick with what you know.”

  “It suits you.” She clasped her hands behind her back, toes wiggling in the grass. “I should have guessed. You like chastising me in-game as much as you do out there.”

  “Sorry. I guess I can’t help it.”

  “So…” She stepped closer and took his hand. “Now you know I have a girly side. I like dresses and stuff like that.”

  “I haven’t seen you in a dress yet. I mean, in the real world. Last time I saw you step off the ship on liberty, you were wearing pants and boots.”

  She glanced up shrewdly. “You’ve been paying attention to what I wear?”

  Xander slid his arms around her narrow waist. “How could I not? I notice everything about you.” The real Thandie was an Amazon, and he preferred her dark hair and bronzed skin. Her true smile featured a slightly crooked tooth too minor for dental correction, but the sylph avatar lacked her flaws and the minor imperfections that made her lovable and real.

  Not that his Lexar brain chemistry gave a fuck, because it recognized her no matter the form. Damn. He’d hoped to be able to look at her and have a discussion with a clear head.

  Overcome by impulse, Xander dragged her close against him and kissed her with all of the passion he could muster. Thandie’s softer lips and fragile frame molded against him, her every curve as authentic in digital form as it had felt as she lay beside him the previous night.

  Her fingers crept slowly up his arms, coming to rest on his shoulders.

  “Come on. Let’s have some fun,” he whispered against her lips.

  They came to the mutual decision not to share the evening with their military friends, although Thandie sulked when Xander refused to reveal the identity of his two guild mates. He told her it would r
uin the fun, especially after she erroneously guessed O’Reilly to be the player behind Ethan’s character.

  A sudden message popped up from Gareth as they stepped outside into the digital sunlight. Hey, we’re going to raid the banshee citadel in Avalon. Finally got about two dozen good players to pull it off. Wanna come along? Oh, and here’s the 5000 gold I borrowed from you. Made it back like I promised. Thanks, mate.

  Xander paused to reply. “One sec. Message from a friend.”

  “No problem. Take your time.”

  Go without me, he sent to Gareth. I’m going to do an event in NYC area.

  Yeah? I heard about that. It’s only a stupid haunted house.

  So?

  Testy, this evening, aren’t you? All right, I’ll keep an eye out for anything you might want.

  Xander shot a glance at Thandie. She had bent to interact with a few of the digital pixie NPCs—non-player characters designed to interact with the actual game players. The programmed creatures flitted around the garden, occasionally landing on players with friendly auras. “Sorry. Just a second.”

  “No rush,” Thandie assured him.

  Xander sighed and typed out another hasty message to Gareth. I’m grouped with someone who has a high faction rating with Avalon. I’ll hang out with you next time.

  That seemed to end it by satisfying Gareth’s curiosity. For her patience, and because he simply wanted to do it, Xander kissed Thandie again at the conclusion of his messaging.

  “Okay, all yours.”

  Supposedly, the game designers had done their research by pulling information and scenes from popular horror movies of the time. Between a burned man wearing double-razor gloves and a bulky zombie wearing a catcher’s mask, Xander and Thandie ran more in one night than they’d ever run during military training. Fortunately, the sylph’s natural ability to control the wind translated into a powerful haste spell. Xander practically flew down the poorly lit halls of the dilapidated house.

  “Are there rewards for completing this?” he demanded, once they stopped breathlessly in a quiet hallway. The realistic loss of stamina made him lean against her. “I don’t know if I’m having legitimate fun or if I’m too terrified to believe otherwise.”

  It was definitely fun. With Thandie, he enjoyed an exhilarating freedom denied to him as a kid.

  “I thought you liked all these old horror movies. Are you going to need a teddy bear tonight?” Her playful taunt accompanied a laugh. She gazed up and down the hallway warily. “We’re almost to the top floor anyway. That’s the goal.”

  “Almost,” he repeated. “If another clown chases me through a room of dolls and torture devices, I’m holding you responsible,” he teased lightheartedly.

  “I will humbly accept my punishment.” She reached over and took his hand.

  The top and final floor featured a maze of spider webs they had to navigate. Xander had the final laugh upon the discovery that Thandie was fine with zombie clowns but absolutely petrified of tiny arachnids. He refused to let her quit and dragged her through.

  Maybe they couldn’t enjoy a traditional date away from the Jemison, but in a way, their virtual videogame had given the very thing they both needed: a night together away from their military responsibility.

  Just before logging out of the game, Xander and Thandie had both agreed to risk another late-night visit to his stateroom. He removed his headset and reclined with his eyes closed while waiting.

  Eventually, the door chime announced her arrival, and he found her on the other side dressed in standard ship coveralls, with a mild case of bedhead. Xander fought back the urge to smooth down the dark strands at the nape of her neck.

  “Sorry. I had to listen to Angela’s chatter before I could slip out,” she said after the door slid shut behind her.

  “About?”

  “Actually…” She laughed quietly and glanced up. “It was about you. You’re sort of the dreamboat of the ship. I just nodded and said ‘uh huh’ and ‘I guess’ a lot.”

  “Yeah, I sort of gathered. I spent my first three days bogged down by frivolous medical requests before Oshiro caught wind of it and put out word that any unnecessary sick calls would be visiting him personally in his office.”

  “Yeah, see, I never heard the reasoning behind that. I just thought medical here ran a really tight ship. Made me nervous when I came in about my arm.”

  “From that, I gather this means your bunkmates don’t know where you’ve gone to? Did they ask about last night?”

  “No. I’m always taking off anyway since I’m a night owl. Besides, last night was personal and none of their business.”

  Xander smiled easily. “I found a good movie on Cineweb in their Classics section. It’s only about 100 years old but recently remastered for the Holovision.”

  Thandie left her boots by the door and dropped her coveralls on the floor. The thin cotton shirt beneath was too flimsy to hide the dark circles of her areolas and her nipples were semi-stiff, plump outlines beneath the fabric. The camisole’s matching floral shorts barely covered her cheeks.

  God.

  After gathering snacks for their movie night, Xander guided her to the bed, where they curled up beneath the sheets. The ancient flick portrayed an interesting mix of family values and romance filled with awkward sexual tension. The heroine’s family became overprotective jerks as the story’s main plot device, while the young lover floundered and failed in every effort to please them.

  Story of his life. Before Ylona, he’d dated Hannah for years prior to popping the question. Her father, an admiral in the military, recognized the Lexar blood in Xander and hated him on sight, and he had no doubt that her parents popped a bottle of expensive champagne to celebrate the end of the relationship.

  “I’ve always wondered if this sort of behavior is common in real families.”

  “What behavior? Boyfriends sleeping in separate rooms before marriage?” Thandie laughed, and the huff of breath feathered across Xander’s cheek. Her closeness would have weakened his knees if they were standing. “My folks did when my brother’s fiancée came to visit for the first time after the engagement. Not that it mattered much, since I remember hearing them in the middle of the night. They hit it off. It was like love at first sight for them.” She chuckled.

  “That must have been nice.”

  “Have you ever felt like that for someone or am I the first?”

  While he had half expected the question, it still took him by surprise. Hannah had been the woman he was expected to date, a trophy for her to claim, and the ideal woman aboard the Glenn. But he’d never felt truly attracted to her—and once he confessed to being part-Lexar, she’d asked him to undergo surgery to correct his condition.

  And he’d almost done it. He’d almost been desperate enough for her affection to change the one truly unique and different thing about his physiology that connected him to his father’s people.

  Days before the surgery, barely a few weeks before their scheduled wedding date, Xander had backed down and ended the engagement. Then he’d taken some leave time and met Ylona while drinking himself into a stupor. While she’d been beautiful inside and out, he’d never felt the Mating Frenzy with her. Their love had been something different, transcending sexual attraction and lust.

  And he didn’t know how to bring it up without ruining the mood. It felt wrong to think of her now while another woman’s lips pressed intimately against his throat, but in that moment, he also realized one thing—Ylona would have approved of Thandie.

  Elorans didn’t believe in Heaven, Hell, or any traditional afterlife, but they believed a surviving loved one deserved the chance for happiness. And Xander wanted so badly to be happy again.

  Silence reigned until the credits rolled. Thandie raised her head from his shoulder and met his gaze. “Xander?”

  “Hm?”

  “It’s okay not to answer. I wasn’t trying to be nosy.”

  He tightened the arm wrapped around her. “Stay toni
ght?”

  Her soft sigh of relief brushed his cheek. “Sure. I don’t have assignment tomorrow.”

  “I do, but I think I can swing something.” Xander tugged her into the bed alongside him and arranged the blankets over them. “Our chief medical officer sort of loves me, and I think, this time, I don’t mind using a connection or two.”

  “Doctor Oshiro seems nice.” Thandie nestled in closer, one leg drawing up over his. After a moment, she seemed to reconsider and stretched her leg out. Xander caught her by the thigh and pulled the limb back up.

  “Known him since I was a scrawny kid. The Royal Navy denied me the first time I tried to get in.” He chuckled against her dark hair at the memory of his younger self. “I didn’t make the weight requirement. I’d just shot up about a foot over the summer and didn’t eat enough to put weight on, too. There I was, barely fucking sixteen and six-foot-five already. And still growing. I don’t know what made him do it, but he wrote me a waiver and took me home with him. He even told them he’d have me meeting all the regs by the time they shipped me to boot.”

  “I have a hard time imagining you as scrawny.” Her trailing kisses ended at his chin. “You grew up nice. Look how far you’ve come, fixing up folk like me.”

  “Yeah… Doc had a huge impact on me. I knew then that I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t think I’d get accepted into school. I guess for a kid who missed getting his certs, I must have scored really big on more than just my entrance exam. The commodore was on the review team.”

  “And now you serve with both men who helped shape your life.”

  “Yep.”

  “It must be nice, having role models and friends like that. I haven’t dealt with Commodore Bishop at all, but I hear good things. Usually, my sort doesn’t run into him unless we’re in trouble or getting an award. Tends to be better that way.”

  If only she knew she’d raided with him in the game against the warlock landlord. “Mm. He’s not a bad guy. Just has to set that impression around the rest of you. You should see him during liberty.”