by E. J. Mellow
His question brings up images of Dev—Dev shirtless, Dev’s lips on mine. “Yes, yes, I’m having a fine night’s sleep.” I concentrate on my hands, catching the charm bracelet around my wrist. Jared. Guilty, guilty, guilty. Ugh.
“Good. Well, everything sounds like it’s in a positive place, considering.” He stands and picks up my scans from the folder. Flicking on a light board that’s mounted on the wall, he clips them in place. Alien-looking images light up with what I’m guessing are scans of my brain.
“None of this should make any sense to you, but this is a picture of a perfectly healthy brain.” He points to the multicolored images. I let out a sigh of relief and then quickly frown. If my brain isn’t the problem…then what is?
“All your tests came back with shiny gold stars, just like this scan. You are a healthy woman, Molly, and a very lucky one at that.” He smiles and I weakly smile back, running my fingers over my scarred wrist. My wrist.
“Doctor,” I interject, “is there a new kind of medicine the hospital is using for burns?” I lift my wrist for him to see. “Because mine practically healed overnight.”
He steps forward, taking my wrist gingerly in his hands. His features grow serious for a second as he studies my skin. He lightly touches the newly formed flesh and then looks back at me. He holds me there for a moment more before smiling again. Something passes through his features, but I’m not sure what.
“You were putting that ointment on and following directions like I gave you?” I nod. “Yes, well, that would explain it. Medicine, when used correctly, is pretty magical. This healed up very nicely and still has a way to go, but I think the scar won’t be too off-putting in the end.” The annoyingly jovial tone is back in his voice.
“Good,” I manage to say, not really sure what I was expecting, but I don’t think that was it. “So do you think I can go back to work tomorrow?”
“Hmm.” He mulls it over for a second. “Well, I’m very happy with what I’ve seen here today, and I think that a few more days of rest wouldn’t hurt, but if you feel you’re up to it, then yes, I would be comfortable with you going back to work.”
I grin, a little shocked that I could be so happy to actually go into the office. Is he really sure nothing’s wrong with my head?
“But if you feel like you’ve overdone it, you must rest,” he says with all seriousness, and I nod like a child who will agree to anything just so she can go outside and play. “Is there anything else I can help you with? Any questions you might have forgotten to ask?” His sandy-blond hair glistens from the ceiling lights in his office as he waits for my response.
“No, I think that’s it.” I stand. “Thank you so much for your help, Dr. Marshall.” I give him another genuine smile. Even though his unusual, happy disposition unnerves me, he does seem to only be trying to help.
“Good, good.” He opens his office door for me. “And remember, just call if you need anything. Again, very happy that you’re healthy.” He gives me one last big grin before I turn away and head toward the exit.
Grabbing a cab back to my apartment, I text my mom, Jared, Becca, and my boss, Jim. My mom and Jared are glad that everything checked out okay, and I make plans to see Jared on Wednesday. Jim is extremely happy to hear I’m coming back to work, and Becca calls me crazy for not riding this out longer, but she’s excited to finally have her lunch partner back.
The rest of my day passes by in a blur. I have a newfound energy from the news that I’m shipshape and healthy. When memories of my dreams creep back up, I immediately turn away from them and find a task that will keep me mentally occupied. Analyzing them any more than I already have will only lead to a headache and more confusion. I’m fine. The doctor said my brain was a picture of health; the vivid dreams are not uncommon.
There’s doubt with every breath I take to believe this.
After making dinner and picking out my clothes for work tomorrow (yes, I still do this like a twelve-year-old), I climb into bed and flick on the TV to an old spy movie. I cuddle up close to my pillow as I relax and watch the black-and-white actors on the screen. Small butterflies fill my stomach when I begin drifting off, and I tell myself it’s merely nerves to go back into work tomorrow, that it has nothing to do with what might or might not happen once my eyes shut…nope, nothing at all. With that last whisper of a thought, my lids droop to a close and the butterflies dash away, instantly replaced by something all too familiar.
— 19 —
I STRETCH MY legs and roll over. Blades of grass brush against my skin. I open my eyes and sigh at the image that surrounds me. I’m back.
Not uncommon, my ass.
Sitting up, I search for Dev, nervous to finally be next to him after suppressing what happened while I was awake. Will he remember? How do I tell him that it can’t happen again? I know it’s just a dream—a crazy, real-feeling dream—but I will not be a cheater in my subconscious or conscious state. No matter how I feel when I’m around him. Plus, keeping our relationship purely platonic will, no doubt, help how I act around Jared.
I continue my pep talk as I walk around my tree looking for Dev. He’s not here. He’s always here. Should I be worried?
A cool breeze brushes over my exposed skin and I shiver, glancing down at my pajamas. Studying their pattern, I chew on my bottom lip. Okay, I’ll try it once, and if it doesn’t work, I won’t try it again. But this time when I quickly bring up the images I want, I feel the energy that was missing when I was in my bathroom. I smile down at my newly adorned black clothes. Looking around in excitement, I realize I’m expecting to find Dev, but once more I’m alone. I frown. Where is he?
After sitting under my tree for a few minutes, I decide to make my way toward the city in search of Dev. Maybe he’s at the apartment or City Hall. I’m not really sure how to get there, but once I’m inside, I can always ask.
As I walk up to the wall, I conjure an Arcus to scale it. Imagining the object that seems to be permanently imprinted in my mind, I feel the quiver rest securely on my back almost instantaneously, the leather strap wrapping around my chest. A cool energy prickles in my head before it disappears once more into the center of my body. I wish desperately that this were something I could do when I was awake. Letting out another sigh, I continue forward.
I’ve only taken a couple of steps when I hear a strange guttural sound nearby, and the most disgustingly foul smell I’ve ever encountered touches my nose. It’s like the oldest, rankest garbage, the kind that has sat in the sun for too long. The gargling noise draws closer, and a desperate sensation of fear creeps into my skin, making the hairs on the back of my neck rise. I slowly turn around and set eyes on the ugliest creature I’ve ever seen in my life.
It looks like it’s made up of dense mucus, like a hot liquid of reds and browns, with glowing, empty orange eyes that are locked on to mine. The form stands at least seven feet tall and has a body that is indescribable except for the fact that it’s constantly in motion, shifting its stinking lava-filled core to mirror what a human form could look like if it had no bones or skin to hold it together. It’s a creature that could come from the very pits of hell, and the combination of its smell and sight threatens to make my stomach hurl. I suck in a terrified, muffled scream and do the only thing my weakened mind can manage to make me do—I run as fast as I can toward the city wall.
I smell and hear, more than see, the mutant creature chase after me. It lets out a horrible, unearthly high-pitched scream as I draw closer to the fortification. The sound alone wants to paralyze every cell in my body. I reach up behind my back, feeling the Arcus holder jump into my hand. What am I going to do? What am I going to do?
A hot substance moves past my body and lands with a grass-singeing thump in front of me. Shit! This thing is spewing something at me! I scream as another hot ball of mucus brushes over my left arm, searing the skin like a hot iron. Falling forward from shock, I drop the Arcus and grab my scalded skin, tears streaking down my face. I turn and with blurr
ed vision look behind me, trying to push up off the ground. Why haven’t I woken up? I want to sob and fold into a ball, certain that I’m about to die, but something keeps me from doing that. Something new that awakens inside me. Dev’s words come rushing back, reminding me of the power I have here, the things I can do. An internal flame flickers on.
I watch the grotesque burning form move closer, and my hatred for it gathers inside of me. I wipe at my eyes as the hellish creature stops a few paces away. It moves one of its ligaments into its gel-like stomach. Everything inside me wants to look away, but I can’t stop watching this self-mutilation as the creature grabs hold of its abdomen and wrenches flesh free. The mass in its hand ignites into a fireball, and the hollowed area in its body fills back up. My jaw grows slack with shock, and another wave of fear hurtles through me at what I just witnessed. What is this thing?! The creature holds the chunk of flaming mass up, and if it had a mouth, I can almost imagine it smiling before it cocks its arm back and hurls the burning mass toward me.
Time slows as I take in a panicked breath and quickly imagine the one thing that I know puts out a fire like this: water. I hold out my hands, feeling the energy that I call up in my mind flow fast and hard through my fingers at the creature. I think over and over again about water—strong, blasting, cool water. My head swirls with the ice-cold sensation of power as my fingers flex out, shooting rivulets of liquid through each tip. My arms surge with flowing energy, my hands starting to cramp with the force of holding them straight. The blast quickly consumes the oncoming fiery bulk and douses it into nothingness. I let my hands fall to my sides, exhausted from what I just accomplished, my mind aching.
The creature has moved farther away out of my blasting range and tilts its head back and forth with animal curiosity. Even from where I sit, I can see its gleaming orange eyes, eyes that hold a sudden understanding. It cocks its head back and lets out a bone-chilling scream before it locks its attention back on me and lunges.
I hardly have a moment to think about protecting myself when three blue-and-white flaming arrows smack right into its chest. The momentum of the impact pushes the monster back, and I watch wide eyed as the cool light travels within and fills the creature’s entire body. Before the thing can let out another scream, it explodes into millions of slimy pieces, leaving nothing but its stink in its place.
I shift quickly around to see Dev at the top of the wall, Arcus in hand. Aveline stands next to him, stupefied. Turning back to where the nightmarish creature was standing moments ago, I finally let out what I was pushing away—I start to cry.
“Shhh. It’s okay. It’s gone now.” Dev speaks softly as he holds me in his arms.
“What was that thing?” I ask, pushing away from him and taking in calming breaths to stop the tears.
“That was a Metus. A creature made of pure fear and evil.”
“I don’t understand what it was doing all the way out here, by itself,” Aveline says as she scans the field around us. “Look there!” she exclaims and takes out her Arcus. In the distance are a group of glowing forms. More Metus. Noticing that we’ve spotted them, their brightness suddenly winks out, and the field plunges into darkness once more.
“Colló,” Dev mutters, a strange-sounding curse. “They had to have seen what Molly can do. We have to tell the Council.” He looks back to me. “That’s where we just were and why I wasn’t at the tree earlier. There’s something happening…something that hasn’t happened in a long time.”
I’m too much in shock to take in all of what he’s saying. Those are the things that enter people’s dreams to create nightmares? My stomach twists.
“Can you stand?” he asks, and I nod. “Molly, you’re not going to like what I’m about to say.” I brace myself. “But I’m going to need you to leave. It’s not safe. You have to wake up.”
“You’re right. I don’t like what you have to say.”
“Molly,” Dev says impatiently.
“I’m coming with you. I just got attacked by one of those things, for Christ’s sake! I think I deserve some answers now.” I stare resolutely at him. “Plus, there’s no canyon close by for you to push me into this time.”
His jaw clenches. “You won’t let that go, will you?”
“Let it—” I choke on the words. “On what planet would anyone let that go?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he says dismissively. “You’ll be waking up soon anyway.” He walks back to the wall.
“If that’s true, then just take me with you until then.” I grab my left arm gently as I follow him, not backing down.
He abruptly turns, his blue eyes severe. “You. Can. Not. Come.”
“WHY!?” I snap. I’m a little startled at my outburst, but the combination of leftover adrenaline coursing through me and the constant frustration of being left in the dark has put me on edge.
His eyes cut to where I’m holding my injured arm, softening a fraction. Something passes over his face: A memory, an image? Whatever it is leaves a deep sorrow on Dev’s features before he schools them back into a scowl. “Look at yourself.” He gestures toward my arm. “This is too dangerous for you.”
I narrow my eyes. “Whatever happened to me being the key? The one you said could help out in all of this? Whatever this is.” I throw out my noninjured arm to our surroundings.
“She has a point,” Aveline finally says. She’s been silently watching our exchange while scanning the perimeter.
“Stay out of this, Aveline,” Dev counters in a dark, hard voice, not moving his gaze from mine.
“Fine, but I’m going to set up the line. Whatever you’re trying to do, do it fast. We need to get out of here.” She turns and runs toward the platform. Dev and I are left glaring at each other.
“I’m going to follow you even if you don’t want to take me with you,” I say definitively, happy I’ve come to learn how to use the zipline. I need to know what all this is, whether he’s willing to tell me or not.
Dev sighs and roughly brushes his hand over his head, frustration evident in every tense muscle in his body. “I think this was a mistake,” he says softly.
My chest tightens at his words. What’s a mistake? Which part of all this does he think was a mistake? There are too many variables that fit into that category for me to be certain. If this was about our kiss, then I agree and am a little pissed off that I wasn’t the first one to say it. That was supposed to be my line. If it’s about me coming here and being taught that I have some strange power that no one else in this place possesses, then tough shit! It’s too late now.
“What do you mean?” I ask, hardness in my tone.
“I mean, this was a mistake!” He throws his hands toward me. “I should never have gotten you involved. This isn’t going to work. Look at your arm! And that was just one of them. I said I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, and I’ve already failed at that. This is not your fight to fight. Wake up, Molly! Go back to where you belong.”
His words burn into my skin. “I CAN’T!” I yell, tears breaking free. I know I can’t go back. Even if I wanted to, I’d only fall asleep and end up here. The frustration of knowing this makes me want to scream and break something. I suddenly understand why people smash things in movies when they are fuming mad. If I just had a desk in front of me I could topple over…
But I don’t.
I have Dev.
Both of us are breathing heavily as we stand off, his face hard and gorgeous and insufferable. My arm throbs from the burn, but I refuse to assess the damage or admit that it’s causing me pain. “The only reason this is dangerous is because you’re keeping things from me. If I knew what was going on, knew what ‘dark’ thing you say is happening, I could be better prepared to help. I may not know how to shoot a bow and arrow, but I’ve certainly got a few tricks up my sleeve, or did you not see how I took out that fireball?”
He’s quiet a moment, studying me. His eyes jump back and forth between mine, searching for something that I can’t decipher
. They grow sad, sorrowful again, and then morph back into hard stone.
“Just go home,” he says in a low tone. “I don’t want you here.”
All the air leaves my lungs. Don’t want me here… Is it really possible to hurt any more than I do? Why is his rejection this potent? Why is he saying these things? More tears prick my eyes, but I keep them back. Just a little longer. I bite down on my lip to keep it from trembling. Dev gives me one last mixed look before turning and heading in the direction of the platform.
“Dev,” I manage to choke out. Is this really happening? Where’s the Dev that was playful? Annoying, yes, but never this mean. What was the point of teaching me all those things when now he’s saying I’m not good enough to use them? What about saying his life will never be the same since I’ve come into it? What about the kiss? What about all of it?!
I unknowingly move forward, following him toward the wall. “Dev,” I call out again. He doesn’t turn. “God damn it. Look at me!” I reach out and pull on his arm just as he attaches his grapple to the platform. He slowly gazes down at me. The Dev I know is nowhere in this face—his jaw is tight, his eyes cold. He gently removes his arm from my grip.
“Why are you doing this?” I plead.
“Do us all a favor, Molly, and wake up.”
As if on command, I begin to hear an obnoxious buzzing sound. I scrunch my eyes, concentrating on where I am, trying to push the blaring noise into the background of my mind.
“No.” I reach to grab hold of him again, but then he presses the button on his Arcus and flies up. Away from me, away from everything I had come to rely on here. Dev has left me.
And I am pissed.
I open my eyes to the morning light, the incessant buzzing of my alarm clock a harsh reminder of what pulled me back. My face is damp from unchecked tears. My stomach is in knots and I want to cry, kick, scream, and do anything else that can rid me of this horrible feeling of anger and despair.
